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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:53:49 PM | one clue is, if you ask them and they say a really off the wall number...their iq can't be that high. i once just asked a boyfriend what the cutoff line for retardation is and he said 120...now he had HIGH standards. granted his IQ was probably 140+ but mine is 130. NOT ten points away from retarded lol.
anyways, i think IQ is really important. i can't date anyone dumber than me. it gets frustrating | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 7:57:07 PM | anyways, i think IQ is really important. i can't date anyone dumber than me. it gets frustrating
"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics, I assure you mine are still greater"
- Albert Einstein
No, your boy-friend had arrogant standards; not high standards. Why discard those who have wisdom, imagination and creativity, all of which cannot be measured in any IQ test.
Where would our world be with-out those 3 human traits?
Personaly, I don't see any value in a person whose greater attribute is their higher intelligence. For with-out morality, consciense and content of character, all of which are more blinded by ego and vanity, that person carries far greater capacity to do more damage unto this world of ours.
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 8:09:54 PM | To all those who say that you can't date someone dater than you, I bet you can. There's something like 7 different types of intelligence and more are still being discovered. So I'm sure you guys can date someone that is dumber in at least one of the intelligences. It seems like people are thinking way too deep into this intelligence thing.
-Drew- | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 129 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:18:27 AM | Just to comment on the different types of intelligences. I'm often attracted to umm the nerdier types who people think are so smart. I'm one of the ones that it takes awhile for people to pick up on it because I'm not focused on details but instead concepts.
While they can probably give you the details of anything they sometimes lack the ability to make connections and associations through concepts so if you give them a bit of info, they can remember and tell it back to you at a later date. If you give me the same bit of info, I'm off and running and making all kinds of connections and associations so can apply that information more than they can. Basically, the idea becomes an analogy I can apply to many different things. I can't give you all the details of it though, just the concept or gist of it.
I don't know if this is the difference between introverted intelligence versus extroverted intelligence or what but I always found it kind of interesting. They get ideas for solving technical problems while I tend to get ideas for solving more global issues.
The point is, we often work together very well because of this. They have the memory and I have the vision. We respect each other's insights. Without them around me though, many of my visions will go unrealized. Without me around, they live in more of a bubble and lack the ability to see other perspectives which limits what they can accomplish. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:19:25 PM | I was reading last week about IQ problems, and saw a site that mentioned a study that said that 30 points of difference in IQ tests predict relationship problems.
Also the standard error on a test is about 15 points. Which means a score of 100 is equivalent to anywhere between 85 and 115. And a score of 130 could range between 145 and 115.
I once was a MENSA member but dropped out. They were no fun, stuffy and always congratulating themselves on being bright for the most part. One of them became a lifelong friend.
He is a plumber. I have spent most of my working life as an artisan, carpenter and as a writer. Neither of us have PHds and I only read popular editions of quantum physics like Stephen Hawkings Brief History of Time. He lost me somewhere in the middle.
When I write I use short words, and short sentences. I leave long ones for the self important, and scientific blokes. The Microsoft Word grammar checker says my reading ease is below 4 and the percentile rating on my stuff is over 80. Which means it is readable by anyone with a grade four ability to read or put another way over 80 percent of the population can read what I write. And I admit it is difficult to write that clearly, but many 'dumber' people can and do.
I was no whiz in school. As a matter of fact I was low end of the scale. Because I had a very short attention span (under 2 seconds) - curiosity sucks sometimes. So I went through University, skipped 60 percent of my classes and spent most of my time in the caf playing cards or chess, talking, or out doing demonstrations and sit ins. (hippie days).
So - high IQ allowed me to graduate while doing what would fail most, but I learned lots extra. I spent my book allowance in the bookstore buying textbooks. But on topics that caught my eye, not the required ones for my courses. So now I know too much about very little and a little about a whole lot of things.
I see things in a flash that would take me a long time to explain, my jokes are obscure, and I like to talk about too many things. So who in their right mind would want to live with me?
OH the IQ score?
The first one I did for a job app, the guy said I must have been practicing to get that score - where did I get the exam sheets? And on another one I had a spy in the HR department who said the results said "I was brilliant, but weird".
And the number? One in 500 which means if there are a thousand people in a room the odds are that there is someone else in that same room who is as bright or brighter than me. And all that takes is 146. It enables me to do dumb things with ease.
It is no predictor of my next relationship either. And yes I have scored lower (As low as 137 in English, and 136 in French, and as high as 166 in English. But mostly they group around 146. And why the big number of tests? I was for a brief time the official test administrator for MENSA in my town, so I did one along with the rest just to see how my score could vary.)
Think if you had an IQ of 100 and look downhill, 60 isn't attractive. Barely trainable to dress and keep clean, much less to understand Seinfeld and laugh with you.
Somehow though, looking downhill from 140, to 100 is OK. It's normal. The differences are not as great because at 100, social skills are ample, and they count for a great deal in relationships, and IQ tests totally ignore that aspect ...
The predictor of failure has more to do with breadth of interests and speed of thought?
But also the higher the range of IQs, the smaller the differences count maybe?
Like many social predictors, the people on the fringes are such a small sample they probably do not make a statistical correlation with the people in the big part of the bell curve.
OK I have said enough to be confusing, so I'll stop here. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:32:25 PM |
If someone thinks like you, they're for you. If they don't think like you, they're not for you.
Damn sure ain't dating anyone who thinks like me. That'd be a bit scary.
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:42:57 PM | anyways, i think IQ is really important. i can't date anyone dumber than me. it gets frustrating
LMAO. I have to pass this on to my exhusband. That must have been the problem....I was frustrated...most of the time.
OT: I don't know how to find out what their number is or is not, but it doesn't take long to know who's intelligent and who isn't. It took me a while to realize that like minds really are important....live and learn I guess.
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:40:08 AM | IQ is a measure of something, but what is uncertain. And, although the correlation amount is debated, there is an established relationship between oral language ability (vocabulary, word usage, reasoning etc.) and IQ. Lastly, I agree that it is possible for a "genius" to have a whit of knowledge. My opinion is largely based on pretty extensive psychology research and personal experience. Basically, Psychology is a b unch of theory and speculation. For example, I know someone that was placed in special education (abysmal grades, bad WISC scores, low attendance, unruly) but still did better than 82 percent of the population on a 9th grade terranova ( 4 above average scores, 2 average, lowest was above 64 percent).This, after never taking the proper courses for test preparation, because he was diagnosed by school therapists as " developmentally disabled" (and he never studied on his own). Now, he is about to graduate magna cum laude with a degree in mathematics with absolutely no outside help (tutoring, special classification, etc.). I suggest you form your own opinion after viewing appropriate amounts of research, don't just accept the "experts" opinion.
It should be noted, however, that although I find psychology very interesting, I think it is a vile and odious supposed field of human learning ( it seems to contribute far more negative than positive to society). | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:49:50 AM | There is a lot to this. I'm a Mensa member and my ex was probably a tad below average, so we had maybe a 40 plus point difference.
Communication was somewhat difficult. The old saw "different interests"...
Hey, she had a lot of other great qualities, don't get me wrong, I loved her, etc. But a big gap in intellingence is eventually going to mean a big gap in communication...which means a crippled relationship at best. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:54:39 PM |
Yes there are people that are better or worse at particular things than others. I will never play pro basket ball. That does not mean that I can’t care about it.
That's a red herring. IQ is about a particular thing - how rapidly you can analyze something you haven't done before and do it correctly. Needless to say, it's possible for ANYONE to be given the rules of basketball, a little information about it and asked to analyze a situation in basketball using the information given. That's a fair question for anyone who can read and understand what he/she read. I don't watch basketball and I pay little attention to it, but I wouldn't find a question about it on an IQ test to be objectionable.
There are tests for particular aptitudes, like math or writing.
Not really. The actual mathematics required for an IQ test is way to low level to test mathematical aptitude. You are confusing an IQ test with an aptitude or skills test. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:10:15 PM |
I heard about some dude that gives these seminars..the deal is...that people should be with someone of the same IQ...10 to 20 points up or down. Now how do I know this about a guy? Some are very obviously dealing with an IQ of about 70.....
OK so NOW I know what the problem is. Ladies and gentlemen....that's why we are single...apparently we are not meeting someone with the same IQ. Give or take 10 to 20 points.
Hmm...makes sense in a way for sure, but I think a little too much emphasis on the whole IQ bit itself. I know a lot of people that have tremendous IQ's, but they are socially retarded and socially inept. They're almost too smart for their own good.
And let's not forget that there's book smart, and street smart, and people smart and of course life smart (see: experiences/lessons learned/etc).
IQ tests don't cover all of them. So IQ points would be meaningless.
I can see where the correlation would be between general smarts, for sure. But IQ as the predominant factor would be virtually meaningless if they have no people skills or street skills or life skills. Book smart will only take you so far.
I've dated people WAY smarter than me except for IQ. IQ wise I could squash them, but their other smarts trumped mine time and again. It was a good lesson for me to learn how to adapt and not rely so much on just my IQ points. I've amassed the rest of the "smarts" throughout my life that now overshadow just a high IQ. I'm no longer just a one dimensional figurehead.
Trying to find someone out there like me, in the sense that she ain't falling back on exceptional IQ points is difficult indeed. Sure she may be smart as all Hell, but in social situations she's a complete f*ck up. Or she's trying to split an atom with just her superior mind powers, but all I wanted to do was talk about the weather. Sometimes those with the highest IQ's are complete failures in my books. They seem to lack the intangibles.
I wouldn't worry so much about the separation between IQ points as much as I'd concern myself with their more abstract capabilities and smarts. If they have a great IQ, but they are socially retarded then this ain't gonna work at all for me. I'd prefer average IQ but with the "other" smarts in spades. I'd be way more compatible with those types.
JMO. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:14:50 PM | It should be noted, however, that although I find psychology very interesting, I think it is a vile and odious supposed field of human learning ( it seems to contribute far more negative than positive to society).
Having majored in pyschology, I can tell you for certain it is pretty banal. It is a pseudo science at best, and merely anecdotal. The more I studied it, the more it became clear, and so never actually continued to pursue a degree in it.
There are tests for particular aptitudes, like math or writing. Not really. The actual mathematics required for an IQ test is way to low level to test mathematical aptitude. You are confusing an IQ test with an aptitude or skills test.
abelian is correct.
Having taken a number of them since grade school, and all the way through high school, as part of a long term case study my school board was conducting with Grade A students, they are not about aptitude at all, but about processing speed, abstract thought ability and problem solving.
I also found them to be biased in favour of males. I would regularly score higher than girls that were getting much better grades than I, in high school. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:20:32 PM | I think there's something to that.
For one thing, there's a difference between smart and intelligence. Smart is book learning and knowledge. Granted, there are some subjects, that require a certain intelligence to understand the knowledge. But in general, someone being knowledgable does not mean automatically that they're also very intelligent.
Intelligence is more about the ability to reason and understand matter and how fast that is being done.
As to the topic, I think a lot depends on the type of relationship that people are looking for:
Some people keep other things completely out of their dating life. They won't talk about their job or starting a business or similar things. They prefer their love relationship to be only about the part of their lives that they spend together, whether it's going out or staying in.
Whereas others want to be able to share their thoughts and ideas with the partner. Maybe having someone to bounce their problems off of and getting another point of view etc.
So, if a couple is mainly concerned about the first part, then iq points really shouldn't matter. But if the 2nd part is important to them, then a big difference in comprehension can destroy the relationship. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:26:01 PM | Oh, great! 
We were measuring the boob’s size, penis size and now we are down (or up  ) to the application of intellectual measurements onto a dating…
And I still remember something along the lines that size doesn’t matter…  | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 140 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:30:23 PM | Go online and start doing IQ tests, the more you do the higher your score will be.
A few years ago a woman I was talking to on a different site said she wanted to know what my IQ was and I said I had no idea. She insisted that I go do at least three tests and tell me what the results were. I saw no harm so I went and did about 10 of them. I started at about 145 and ended up at 178. I didn't suddenly get more intelligent I simply became familiar with what types of questions they used and was able to recognize what math they were looking. A lot of questions are more a test of you being able to recognize what math they are asking for rather than your ability to do that math.
A super-intelligent person that dropped out at grade 10 would probably score as barely functioning simply because they don't have the education needed to do the tests.
I think these are nothing more than pseudo masturbation for those with higher education, letting them validate their opinion that they're smarter than everyone else.
Another problem is that there is intelligence and then there is intelligence. A Redneck from the Ozarks that can't do long division would score as an imbecile even though he might be able to figure out all on his own how an internal combustion engine works and do a kick-arse job of souping up his pickup. After that his shower doesn't work so he looks at all the "thingies", figures out how it works and patches it up beautifully.
At the same time a Mensa member might be able to solve the disconnect between regular and sub-atomic physic yet not figure out how to change a flat tire. Is one more intelligent than the other? I think NOT. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:55:15 PM | Rhodax,
those internet iq tests really don't mean a whole lot. If you do want to get measured, then contact Mensa in your area - they have regular testing with their own developed tests.
"At the same time a Mensa member might be able to solve the disconnect between regular and sub-atomic physic yet not figure out how to change a flat tire"
***It's a misconceived idea that everybody with high iq is a math or physics or technical wiz or similar.
I have an extremely high iq, but I'd consider myself a 'technical morong' - lol. I'm very good with concepts and get the big picture extremely fast. I work from the outside in: I get the idea and then I figure out how to make it happen and what details are necessary. In fact, I prefer to hire other people for details. Whereas someone else with a really high iq may be really detail oriented . I know a number of those, who get stuck with analysis paralysis.
There are vast differences between people even with the same iq measurement | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 142 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:10:34 PM | Varina,
The mensa "fun" test at http://www.mensa.org/workout2.php was one of the tests I did. Didn't see a large difference between that and others.
I think the only true gauge of intelligence is to observe how good someone is at what they are good at and how well they can adapt to new challenges in those areas of aptitude. Of course, that can't easily be quantified and people oh so want the simple and one dimensional answer that they can wrap their heads around. Of course, I'm one of them too, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to **** about it  | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:46:35 PM | There are vast differences between people even with the same iq measurement
Absolutely true.
In fact, I prefer to hire other people for details.
Brilliant.
I do the exact same thing. I'm smart enough to know when that's the best thing to do...
I think the only true gauge of intelligence is to observe how good someone is at what they are good at and how well they can adapt to new challenges in those areas of aptitude. Of course, that can't easily be quantified and people oh so want the simple and one dimensional answer that they can wrap their heads around.
Actually, I find that the tests I took where very good at determining IQ the broadness of range of ways to assess abstract thinking, the flexibility and speed of computing brain power.
Having said that, I still think that it's mainly a point of reference, and it's merely for scientific and academic purposes.
I might admire someone's intelligence, but still not like them for the other aspects of them that make them human.
Intelligence is just one aspect of a human. | |
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psssst
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Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 144 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 3:18:29 PM |
Go online and start doing IQ tests, the more you do the higher your score will be. Anyone that uses the online IQ tests and promotes themselves as the number based on that is deceiving themselves and others.
I was given a variety of tests when I was first hired to work for a company 23 years ago - I later learned that the testing was from various areas of the psychological accepted testing sheets. While I found this to be interesting and amusing, it was generally useless as it wasn't given in a structured environment with strict timing on the different segments.
But it did get me the job and accelerated promotions...  | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:38:14 PM | | I think it is really a function of being conversationally paired more than anything. IQs aside, if you don't have areas of common interest to talk about, whether it is the Mets or a charity you donate time to or travel or politics or whatever, you aren't going to have a relationship that will stand the test of time. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 6/30/2009 12:24:00 PM | | My IQ according to a Mensa test is 150 but I would just like to say here that a lower IQ for a mate would suit me better, not because I am egotistical, probably more likely that the IQ test is really not worth that much in truth. I believe that in the real world people don't even need to meet to tell IQ compatibility, just a few emails are fine. | |
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