| | why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????Page 14 of 14 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14) | I was in a blended family. Didnt work. 80% of second marraiges fail because of the children disrespecting the new partner. This is a long standing statistic.
I was completely disrespected by my ex's daughter (my former stepdaughter). This is because he allowed her to rule the place. My kids didnt disrespect my ex. Because i told them flat out, if you disrespect him your disrespecting me and it wont be tolerated. I told them this at ages 4 and 5. Never had a problem.
A successful second relationship will only work if the couple come first and foremost. Plain and simple. Your SO MUST come first. What are we teaching the kids if we dont? We'd be teaching them to sacrifice themselves. Is that really a lesson we want to teach them for adult hood??
I read your post about how you'd never trade your daughter for any woman.   That attitude right there is why we run. A child is a child, and will grow up, and move out. Its not a parents job to sacrifice their life for their kids.
Learn from me. Been there done that. Know what im talking about. Done the research. | |
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octoro
| | Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 327 | |
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:32:03 PM | | ^^^I congratulate you on trying to make that relationship work. Children are our blood so they're feelings come first foremost. If you expect yourself to come first then dead wrong until you've proven yourself to be a good mom and last wife to eternity! We're very pissed that the first VOWS didn't hold so Forget the lameass excuses as when you take on a second marriage then it's harder work to make it happen and for that- we truly hope it will KEEP your heart so if you're not up to the hard work like we are then just stay single and being a temporary screw for men. | |
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octoro
| | Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 328 | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/7/2008 2:55:06 AM | | I personally think there's a lot to admire about a single dad - commitment, responsibility, steadfastness. Just because he loves his own children doesn't mean he can't love a woman too. I wouldn't be put off at all by a guy who has kids, as long as those kids treat me decently. | |
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octoro
| | Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 330 | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/7/2008 5:43:09 AM | ok, i am a single mom so i get what u mean to a point. I do know a lot of single fathers and its funny, becuase here they actually get asked out more, and i think its because most women what a family, and have nurturing instincts, where as i think that most men feel like ur only looking for a father to ur kid.
What non of them seem to realize is that we can do just fine on our own, when it comes to our children. i think the most important thing to stress is that they are ur kids, and yeah if things work out long term, u are willing to share ur family with them, but until then they are the one's missing out, but u don't need them, or expect them to be an intent mom, just ur friend, and maybe when the time is right, a good friend to ur kids. | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/7/2008 5:55:47 AM | Esquao: IMO..I don't think they really mean that the woman that they marry will not be first....Never trade your son/daughter means just that a trade off....I will not do that...but that doesn't mean that I will ignore the fact that my man knows where his place will be in my life and that is God...My Man ...and My Children....now this is the man I marry......My son has a class mate...that his mom did trade him...the man she married did not like her son ...so her mother is raising him...He is the sweetest boy you will ever meet....she married this man and they had a girl...and they act as if she is the only child...that to me is sad...and this is what trading off your children means to me....Never would I do that....If you don't like my son..then you are out the door......Be Blessed.....Angel | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/7/2008 8:35:45 AM | I am a single/divorced dad of a three-year-old girl and when I first started 'dating' again, I was surprised by how many women did NOT like single fathers, especially younger women. I had always assumed the inverse was true, that young single men didn't like single moms because they wanted to still live a young party lifestyle. I still think that is true, but I thought most women liked single dads because they represented responsibility and maturity, which I thought were qualities women like in a guy. What I have noticed though is that a lot of single women though not only run, but won't even go near a single dad. For a variety of issues. That being said..everyone is entitled to their preferences though, so what can I really do about it?? It's disheartening, when you see a woman and I seem to have all the qualities she is looking for..but then adds a "you must not have kids" to their descriptions. I mean, it's no different than not being tall enough, or old enough or whatever. I can't change my height, or age (at the moment!), and I certainly am not going to abandon my daughter for some woman. Would I like it if more women thought outside the box a little when it came to dating a single dad? Sure. But it's not my problem.
Also..there is defintely a "single dad friendly' age group I seem to notice. Not set in stone and there are exceptions, but I find the majority of women who run from single dads are under about 27 and over about 42. The late twenties to early forties seem to be more open to dating me knowing I have had a previous marriage and a daughter. The young ones still want to party hardy and the older ones don't want to change diapers and deal with tantrums anymore! | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:13:29 PM | | I just want to say you are a very good man if you are caring for your children that there is not a mother around.The reason is it is harder for a father to care for one exspecialy if one of your children is a girl. I mean because the little girl has questions that they need to be asked.You should have people telling you way to go Dad.You have responseableitys and you take care of them when you are a single Dad That has to care for there child because no mother around..I congradulate you on that.. | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/7/2008 7:07:44 PM | very good that is just like my problem . I have 3 kids all under the age 12 . Marred woman are atracted to me . They play with me , like if they want me becouse ther treeted like shit at home they find comfert in me . But thats not what i want , by far , Most women dont like to rase other mothers kids ! thats a fact ! dealing with the x is a problem , for most women . theey think you want to replace them as the knew mom , plus your tide down and strest , desprest , i dont think that about single moms .THATS ALL FOR NOW . , I like this suject THE BECK : | |
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octoro
| | Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 337 | |
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/7/2008 8:04:02 PM | Anazdaddy....I've always found it to be opposite for me, the younger women 20-25 hit on me. Glad I'm lucky at something lol. When I read about all the single mom's who prefer to date for a long time then meet the kids, I totally understand why men simply go for the younger women who love and want kids. The only drawback is the maturity and experience level cause they'd had to be 18 to gotten pregnant for 7 year old, not to mention they love to party. Still feeling lucky though  | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/8/2008 5:19:38 PM | | I am a single mom and recently stopped seeing a really great guy because he only has time to be "freinds with benefits" . He has 3 teenagers and spends all his time with them( which is great) so he has no time left for anyone else. Now I'm wondering if I should stay away from single dad's. My kids are still younger so I don't have alot of freedom yet, only when they visit their dad. Sorry I couldn't help, best of luck! | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 2/11/2008 2:45:02 PM | I think the same principle applies to Single mums too it doesn't seem to matter if your male or female if ppl see you are raising children on your own they seem to think your desperate and would do anything to be in a relationship.
From my personal experience once you have children your standards raise not lower I certainly would not get involved with anyone from my past as none of them would be good enough for my children or me I expect more from a parner now, it just seems ppl aren't willing to offer it.
I would happily consider a relationship with a Single dad it wouldn't be a problem to me at all as I appreciate how hard life can be when you are alone bringing up children and I admire anyone who does it male or female. | |
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LEN 23
| | Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 343 | |
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 10/24/2008 11:12:14 PM | | IT SUCKS I THIIKS ITS BECAUSE THEY FIGURE THAT THEY CANT TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF YOU CAUSE YOUR A RESPONSABLE PERSON AN YOUR NOT GOING TO BE A FOOL . IM A SINGLE DAD AN I HAVE MY TWO KIDS FROM WHEN THEY WERE 5 AN 6 NOW THEY ARE 13 AN 14 AN I FOUND THE SAME THINGS YOU ARE GOING THROUGH . I RELIZED IT WAS NOT ME AFTER GOING ON PLENTY OF DATES WITH ONLY GIRLS WHO JUST WANT TO PARTY AN WANT U TO PICK UP ONLY THERE PROBLEMS AN WHEN IT CAME BEING HELD BACK WITH WITH A REAL DAD THEY WANT ONLY THE GUY WHO CON HELP THEM OUT . I THINK IF I WASNT IN SOUTH FL AN I WAS BACK IN NY OR NJ OR PA THE WOMEN ARE MORE FAMILY ORENTATED OVER THERE IT SEEMS WHEN I GO VISIT THIS IS WHAT I EXPERANCE OVER HERE . | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 10/25/2008 5:18:05 PM | | I find that as a single mom it is the same on my end and I wouldn't trade my girls for any man .But to find a man and admire his caring,fatherlyworth and standing up to the plate by being a man I truely admire u for being the man that u r by being a dad wish I could find a man that had those traits God Bless cause u will be with your kids. | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 10/25/2008 7:22:49 PM | | I have to agree I have to kids and the same problem the men run but I see it as they are not ready to deal with kids yet. To find a single dad man he would really be understnading of life around and to go out with the kids and just to let them play and make new friends would also be great for them. | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 10/26/2008 6:06:55 AM | the women who run aren't ready to deal with children. wave to them as they go and count your lucky stars they didn't drag you through a long drawn out relationship where she resented your kids and caused all kinds of turmoil and trouble. That's what I do when guys run. good riddance.. thanks for not wasting my time! | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:41:47 PM | | Wow, Goopster. OK I will say first that I am posting due to your comments. I am a single mother and during the 4 year relationship with her father he was an on again off again employee. I have not complained, tried to support his issues of lacking self-worth and tried to help him through his bouts of depression. no pity party asked for me. I made a mistake and tried to stay with the father of my child for her sake. Of course he was happier going back to the situation that caused his lack of commitment and work ethic to his family. I have not gone after him for child support and will not. He has the choice. I wasnt a b*tch while married I refuse to be one now. I dont need anyone to take care of my responsibilities. Perhaps an opinion would be great or a nice loving laugh after a long day. But I am not asking anyone to be a wallet she is worth more to me then any dollar sign that is provided or not provided. I do not bad-mouth him to her and will not. She in time as she grows will determine how she feels. I ask my family and friends to support me in this effort as well. She loves her papa because I make it so. She is 3 and all she knows is that her papa is back with his friend(ex) in another state and he must be very busy trying to make pony money for her. Even though he chooses to not call or have any contact. I refuse to chase down her father it would be more tramatic then worth it. When she is old enough I will explain the truth of what happened and let her decide. For now I make every attempt to inform him of where we are and how we can be reached. I never mention money because money wasnt mentioned when i concieved her. She is not a burden and single women/men/mothers/fathers all want companioship regardless. perhaps you didnt intend to come off as strong as it appears. If that is the case then I apologize for being so blunt in return. But it is insulting to think so negatively. Had you met a wonderful woman in the market and had a great 15 min exchange without knowing she was a single mother as she opens the door to her new sporty car.. Would you change your mind about asking her out??? Had she mentioned she had a child at home waiting for her?? outwardly you never know what people have or are capable of. Some men are more than likely intimidated by the independance that a single mother may have. I am a very strong personality I need nothing from anyone but to be loved. After all is said and done and the kids are grown and gone you have to have a loving mutual realationship to find comfort and joy right? That is what we are all seeking. Securtity comes in many forms. And not always finacial for all. Thanks for the long read. | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 10/27/2008 1:29:09 PM | | i think a man that steps up to his responsibilities with is his kids is a great turn on, you should be proud and if a woman can't get past her own CS issues and is reflecting them onto you, she may be missing out | |
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| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 10/27/2008 3:21:04 PM | | The same reason they ran after the kid was born, leaving us with the kid they are deadbeat women and cant find enough time to spend with the kids they left behind much less deal with ours! If a woman cant respect a single dad then shes not much of a woman and more like bar trash.... NOT WORTH THE TIME OR MONEY ! | |
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