| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 1:01:26 PM | Nicely put.
Also, I find , that after having a bad experience with a woman, I would question my own actions
" Was I a****? "
" Was I too nice? "
" Should I do everything exactly as she says?"
" Maybe she doesn't Like metallica?? "
And eventually, I realized that I had merely met a disfunctional female who wasnt
at all comparable to a true lady.
Our sources for validation must be valid!!! =P | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 1:15:41 PM |
" Should I do everything exactly as she says?"
No. That is wimpish...however, demanding everything be your way and on your terms is being a "jerk". I get the impression that you understand the concept of "compromise" which is a good thing. Keep it up, and you will eventually find a woman that also understands and appreciates the idea. ;)
" Maybe she doesn't Like metallica?? "
Ask, first. You can tell a lot about a person's compatibility in relation to you by what they like and don't like. Of course, it is a given that not everyone will stand up and say "No, I don't like so-and-so," and not everyone has put a lot of time into the introspection needed to be able to clearly identify their likes and dislikes. Either way, it is probably best to ask. Blunt doesn't always equal being mean. :)
And eventually, I realized that I had merely met a disfunctional female who wasnt
at all comparable to a true lady.
Having a defined set of standards for yourself is a good starting point. I've discovered many a person of the male persuasion that was nowhere near being a true gentleman.
Knowing what you are looking for, and knowing what you will and will not tolerate is half of the battle.
Our sources for validation must be valid!!!
True...and may I use that line elsewhere? I know of several situations where that line would be oh so apropos.
(Oh dear...I talk too much.;) ) | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 1:47:16 PM | I didn't need the speech, I wasn't going for sarcasm. Sarcasam is inevitible. Try not to whine about it, whining makes you look like a wuss.
I just wanted to know what to call myself, as "nice guy" might be misleading... I won't answer that (cause I don't know if it's an accurate representation). What I will tell you is that it's a write-off for many a woman and a phrase I would advise anyone I wanted to actually get the girl to avoid using.
And eventually, I realized that I had merely met a disfunctional female who wasnt
at all comparable to a true lady. The first sign of insanity is being convinced that it's the other people who are insane.
I also think "blaming others" is right at the top of the "what does a 'nice guy' do" list.
Seriously. Perhaps she was. You can't fix her though. If you are going to do an analysis of a failed relationship, you will need to look at it in terms of *your* choices and their consequences. If you are willing to just say "her fault" then you are wasting your time. If it really is that she's disfunctional, then your mistake was in failing to identify that before entering into a relationship with her. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 1:54:12 PM | Calling yourself a "nice guy" doesn't mean that you aren't NICE, but honestly...it's the kiss of death.
Any guy who calls himself "nice" is either admitting that he's 1.) a whiny, spineless pu*ssy or 2.) definitely likely to lurking behind tall bushes and peering into bedroom windows in clear daylight. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 2:15:00 PM | True...and may I use that line elsewhere? I know of several situations where that line would be oh so apropos.
Tha'll be Tree Fittay!! ^>^
And to JerryinTampa ; Yes You are 100% Right. If I had better sense of what to look for, Id've noticed certain 'flags' , and saved myself alot of pain.
If you boil things down past words
The Truth is, women don't lie, Men just dont listen =P
( And I dont mean this literally ) | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 2:21:32 PM | Any guy who calls himself "nice" is either admitting that he's 1.) a whiny, spineless pu*ssy or 2.) definitely likely to lurking behind tall bushes and peering into bedroom windows in clear daylight.
That might be generalizing a bit...surely there's a bit of grey area in between whiny, spineless pu*ssy, and serial killer?
I mean, I'm not a jerk, but I am opinionated, and I'm very outspoken (maybe stubborn) in my opinions. So where does that put me? I'm a nice guy, but I'm not a doormat by any means. I just want to know what label to use on my name tag. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 2:24:58 PM | | Labels are meant to be yanked off bed mattresses. Introduce yourself using your first (and if you choose, your last) name. You can't go wrong with that. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 2:34:50 PM |
Labels are meant to be yanked off bed mattresses.
And beer bottles, but that's besides the point...
Introduce yourself using your first (and if you choose, your last) name. You can't go wrong with that.
So you're saying my current line of "Hi beautiful, I'm nice guy..." won't cut it?
Okay, suppose my friends are setting me up with someone...instead of describing me as "such a nice guy," (which is what they do) I should push for what? | |
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RBM
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Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 34 | |
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Hezron
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Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 35 | |
| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 2:46:53 PM | | Nice has nothing to do with being a wimp. Lots of "alpha males" are wimps. They are bold and aggressive and all of that but sometimes...when push come to shove you can break them in minutes...physically and psychologically. Nuff said. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 5/23/2006 2:47:28 PM | | I would have to agree. Nice with a back bone please and thank you. I can't stand a man that agrees with everything I say/do, and says thats nice. I like a man with a mind of his own, who is compassionate towards others. And you know what I might have found just that, only time will tell. For me its pretty much the biggest turn on. | |
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tags
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Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 37 | |
| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 5:29:45 PM |
"Nice" guys are the ones who will do whatever you demand...without question, without reason. And yes, they are ALL a bunch of wussies
I hear that as the standard definition for so called nice guy's.......... and its true ..........but me being the guy that I am I like to look at the other side of the coin . In fact lets all do it together . What term do we use for the Girl " doing the demanding" ? | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 5:53:12 PM | | I think today's society generally finds it to understand the rationale of being "proper" therefore someone who has propriety and decorum constantly finds themselves being mistaken for "weak". I find it easier sometimes to just put on the beeyatch hat so as to cut out all that long process of teaching someone that nice is not equal to wimp lol! But there are people that still understand and recognize this and those type of people I don't even mind being a wimp to them coz they deserve it. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:05:38 PM | Yeah The problem on my side is that I do have a wide spectrum of likes and I do a pretty good job of finding people I tend to agree with so I guess I show accidental weakness, or no backbone because if someone says something is cool and I agree that makes me weak right?
See my problem is that I can actually honestly agree with most things and I can see after a month of it I can look like a yes man but what can i do? | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:17:23 PM |
I would have to agree. Nice with a back bone please and thank you. I can't stand a man that agrees with everything I say/do, and says thats nice. I like a man with a mind of his own, who is compassionate towards others.
Very well said. I was recently talking about men and dating with a friend of mine who had been set up by some friends the night before. The way she described it was "they all say they want a strong, self-sufficient woman, but when they find her, they can't handle her". Then she went on to describe the man she had been set up with as "I am more female than he is male.".... and I completely understood what she meant. There are a lot of nice men out there, yes.... but not so many that have some back bone... and that know how to stand up for themselves, in a non-abrasive way. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:22:04 PM | If a man has no boundaries he is a wimp/doormat. If he doesn't respect a woman's boundaries, he's an azz. Bottom line is self-respect AND respect for another person. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:27:00 PM | | I think all women are screwed up, if your nice to them which they say they want, they dont give a flying ****. But if you play thier game and ignore them some of the time they keep coming back for more, they seem to thrive on mystery and crave finding what you wont tell them. Like I said there all plain screwed up. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:27:58 PM | | Boy I'm glad I'm a longhairbadass and I aint gotta worry bout this crap. I'm glad I live in the positive and the prepared, and not in the self pity and doubt. I'm a man who likes himself, knows where he's going, and knows where he's been. I'm free. But I aint cheap, nice, or easy. | |
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tags
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Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 46 | |
| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:37:05 PM |
Bottom line is self-respect AND respect for another person
MissMewsic
There isnt a whole lot like you around .
There is one disturbing issue in this discussion that ide like to bring to light and one simple fact .
1) Why the hell should a decent man even be involved with some one who needs to " stand up to " his partner or maneuver himself to not let her " walk over " him . Its a relationship . Not a covert op to overtake wild vipers in fajulah ( sp?)
Realtionships to grown adults is about wanting to be with some one , encouraging them , edifying them , and above all intimacy ( emotional , mental , spiritual , and sexual. )
Not testing them ,using them to fullfill and justify a distorted reality, and controlling them and then ultimately emasculating them.
I am thinking if you believe your a "nice guy" then believe in yourself and be " choosey" about who your with and not play roll over for the first pretty face that smiles at you . Demand the respect and reciprocation your deserve and if you dont get it .........walk.
Trust me there is some one out there who is wholesome and understands and gets what MissMewsic is referring to . | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:40:19 PM |
I think all women are screwed up, if your nice to them which they say they want, they dont give a flying ****. But if you play thier game and ignore them some of the time they keep coming back for more, they seem to thrive on mystery and crave finding what you wont tell them. Like I said there all plain screwed up
Communication - it's a beautiful thing. 
I have no use for people who send mixed signals. If I ignore a man, it's not because I want him to like me more - it's means I really DON'T like him. I have to assume if a guy treats me that way - he's just not that into me. The bad boy routine will only win you a stupid woman that likes to play games. | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:54:28 PM | i think this link loosely applies..
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1049047122661&ref=mf | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:31:29 PM | [Wimpy is so much a turn off and confidence so much a turn on that women will date a confident ***hole before they will date a wimpy nice guy. I've seen this a 1000 times.]
Ah, but the perfect man: a confident nice guy!  | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:36:27 PM |
another nice guy vs bad ass thread? here we go
no just an old post brought back | |
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| NICE does not = WIMP
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:46:49 PM | tags said:
There is one disturbing issue in this discussion that ide like to bring to light and one simple fact .
1) Why the hell should a decent man even be involved with some one who needs to " stand up to " his partner or maneuver himself to not let her " walk over " him . Its a relationship . Not a covert op to overtake wild vipers in fajulah ( sp?)
Realtionships to grown adults is about wanting to be with some one , encouraging them , edifying them , and above all intimacy ( emotional , mental , spiritual , and sexual. )
Not testing them ,using them to fullfill and justify a distorted reality, and controlling them and then ultimately emasculating them.
Bingo! Much truth has been spoken in this thread, but this really resonates with me. I always wonder why so many bother going into relationships as if they were some kind of a competition. I'm naturally a competitive person, but in a relationship, I want to be supported and built up, and do the same for my partner. It's like we're a haven in life's storm for each other. Leave the competition and one-ups-man-ship for the other struggles of life. (although I have to confess to being a tiny bit miffed at the way he's outperforming me on EVERY facebook game we play together!  )
And LOL at Rickeyes. You are ON tonight, man! | |
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