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| when does the pain end......
Posted: 5/29/2006 9:39:34 AM | | nico... did you know that your daughter doesn't care how well you comb her hair but that you are there to comb it for her? i'm not calling you stupid, by any stretch of the imagination, i just don't feel you believe in your ability to be a good father. you're comparing yourself to a woman with true character flaws... give yourself some credit. i'll ask you this... where did you sleep the night you put your children on that bus? her family is none of your concern... those are just as much YOUR children as they are hers. how do you feel without your children? do you think that matters to HER family? probably not. get your children back. | |
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| when does the pain end......
Posted: 5/29/2006 10:45:19 AM | Nico...my heart truly goes out to you. The pain of being separated from your children must be absolutely terrible. When my sons go on a week-end school trip....I miss them terribly, so I can not even imagine what you are feeling.
I agree with Kitty. You're doubting your ability to parent your children on your own, and that's normal. But, you will find (as I did), that it's really not that difficult....tough at times, yes, as are most things in life...until you obtain experience. Life is a learning experience, no matter what you do...and since children don't come with 'owner's manuals' at birth, we are left to learn along with our children. If you make a mistake while raising them, no problem....it can more often than not be corrected, with no lasting ill effects on your children. It's those (such as your ex) that make mistakes, knowing full well that it is harming their children, yet continue to act in such a manner...that's what worries me the most.
You stated your ex said she could not give you sole custody of your little ones, because she'd 'miss them too much'? I'm sorry Nico...I, for one, find that hard to believe. How could she possibly miss those little ones, if she is never WITH them? It may hurt you a bit for me to say this...but in reality, your ex was, and still is...an extremely selfish and cold-hearted individual. It's sad to say, but some negligent parents keep the children for their own benefit...such as obtaining welfare and/or grants for education. I have seen this first hand, while attending a local college a few years ago.
My ex wanted joint custody in regards to our two sons...for the mere fact that he would not have to pay child-support. He didn't care about the effect his drug addiction was having on our sons...but only for himself. As caring parents, we find it surreal that someone can be as cold and selfish as this, but, we have to recognize it for what it is...and what is best for our children. What others feel (such as your ex's parents) about what you need to do is irrelevant. What matters most is your little ones are in a safe and happy environment, with a father who loves them dearly.
I requested sole custody, for my sons sake, and my lawyer stated I needed a valid reason for such a request (I guess my ex's drug addiction was not enough?!!)...anyway, in court I voiced my concerns, regardless of what my lawyer stated.... and the judge granted me sole custody of my sons. Go and get your little ones Nico...before more psychological damage is done to them. They need you. Fight for what is right. Your children may have grandparents, where they are now...but, this can never substitute for a father's love...never.
I truly wish you all the best............. | |
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| when does the pain end......
Posted: 6/22/2006 7:01:45 AM | | The pain will last for as long as you continue to live in the past. I would sue for custody of my childern and put myself out there starting by meeting new friends. Then when your life is full again with your childern and friends, perhaps you can find the peace of mind to move on and let someone new in your life. I don't care how much you think you are in love with your wife (ex)..perhaps you were only in love with the security you felt in the beginning. no one deserves to be tormented by anyone, and you have to clean your own house now, in order to let the sun come through....time? There is no time limit on pain...it is based on your ability to get on with your new life, and learn from the old. So jump on the wagon and get yourself out and about, but most of all...you get your childern, you certainly have everything in your favor to win......good luck... | |
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