| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 8:41:03 AM | I agree my uncle is the same way. He is in his 40's and lives with his sister and her kids. I don't think he will ever meet anyone, he doesnt seem to want that. He looks very content with his life. He keeps busy with writing his books and working and all the things that happen with our families. It's ashame cause he would make a wonderful father and husband.
I wish him all the happiness in the world. God love him. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:58:06 AM | | I am 47, never married, no kids, no children. Is this odd judging by today's standards, I would say yes it is. Each one of us goes through this life and makes of it as they would like. In my case I would have loved it to have been somewhat different, but it is what it is. I hope tommorrow I find the woman of my dreams. If I don't so be it. I suppose I have a very low tollerance for head games, so I never played them. But I would date a sane woman! More than half the people I work with are unhappy, I am not. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 1:19:57 PM | My parents are from a rural area in louisiana; well, probably poor too. The elders there cannot comprehend singlehood, because it was a necessity for survival (farming, etc.) When they hear of someone being single, they are conditioned to feel sorry for them, and it really doesn't matter if you tell them that you are happy. They won't believe you. I know that i have a couple/few reasons why i'm not married. I just started alone, found music as a hobby, and my stress is low. I do have a friend who is constantly complaining about his wife, and sometimes doesn't want to go home, and when i visit other couples - it is a madhouse. I seem to short circuit with the screaming, running kids, phone ringing, yelling, pots banging, etc. I know guys who would choose this over a solitary life; the thought of being alone is too scary for them. When i get home, i am VERY thankful for my situation. I pay no child support, and no one can say "will you stop playing that damn guitar."  | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 3:31:51 PM | | Some ppl, well alot actuallylly choose to be alone.i do..I like my friends and meeting new people but it would take someone pretty special to make me wanna give up my own routine and spend time with them.I'm happy and content with the way things are right now... | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 3:45:01 PM | | BIG difference between being a loner and asexual. I think the guy's a genius. Like Flaubert, or Brahms, he's got more insight than most, and he doesn't shit where he lives. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 3:53:48 PM | | Kayakchic, have you heard of mental illness.It sounds like he is plagued by this little understood illness. People with social anxiety are also subject to depression and although they can be the nicest people. They can't cope around people and the disease diminishes sex drive. This is just another possibility, not saying I know for sure. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 5:37:43 PM | | well from a "the way things work" approach no one should be alone..the exterior they show you may not be the same as the one they keep inside. people were not ment to be alone.we by instinct socialize with each other..we love and have a desire to be loved.alot could probably be blamed on a society that is very vane when it comes to looks etc.. rejection can be a hard pill to swallow..especially if that rejection is demeaning. sometimes people just give up and figure they will be happy alone..but who truly is happy alone..on the inside? thats the problem..we should wear our person on the outside not our attributes | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 6:32:37 PM | | Alot of ppl are truly happy alone.It's just a matter of being content with yourself.yea,ppl need to socialize and btw she explained he has no problem socializing,he just chooses to be alone in the constant time.I see nada wrong with that.I have kids and my schedule works just fine with a lil socializing on the side.Geez..someone who thinx that noone truly wants to be alone should do a lil self-evaluating. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 8:58:04 PM | | bianaca, I totally agree with you. It angers me that some people (mostly women) think that a person has got to have some kind of mental illness or social disease if they choose to be alone, rather than be in a relationship. A person can have a lot of friends, be very outgoing, and hold jobs that entail interacting with people on a daily basis but at the end of the day, they prefer to come home to a house all their own, have no one nagging them, and go to sleep on their own bed that they don't have to share with anyone. There's nothing wrong with that. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:15:28 PM | I seem to short circuit with the screaming, running kids, phone ringing, yelling, pots banging, etc. I know guys who would choose this over a solitary life; the thought of being alone is too scary for them. When i get home, i am VERY thankful for my situation. I pay no child support, and no one can say "will you stop playing that damn guitar."
Amen. lol
What's with people who go though all their lives being co-dependant, just one relationship after another!? | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:29:43 PM | i'm sure there are lots of reasons, lots of people only want want they cannot have
theey spend their lives alone., and some people are so selfish and conceited they dont know theyre alone | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:44:04 PM | | you are being judgemental....I am 10 years younger than the guy you speak of and have some of the qualities that you speak of with his situation....Myself, I haven't met the right person whom i would 'click' with to put myself in any of the situations mentioned...Try looking at it from their (my) perspective...Every time i start a new job, people ask me the same sort of questions sooner or later...i don't know how to answer them, but i do know i don't ask them about their personal lives...And it always does leave me feeling I am being 'judged' by them... | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 10:48:22 PM | | Sounds like someone who has been seriously hurt or rejected, and doesn't have the will or drive to subject himself to that kind of pain again. For some, i suppose it's safer not to take risks anymore. In some other cases, maybe having too many failed relationships has gotten under his skin, and he's finally had it. Others just enjoy being by themselves. Maybe we should ask him....:) | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:37:44 PM | I like being alone most of the time. That isn't to say I don't date or anything like that, but when I do its usually months sometimes years after the last break-up.
Its odd, as I don't really miss people. I have plenty to do, and people get in the way sometimes. I'm certainly noy unhappy without others around. I have all the time in the world to do what I want. Its actually very nice.
So long as someone is happy with where they are in life, what does it matter. There's enough people out there who enjoy solitude. Generally if people want to contact others, they will. | |
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| Would you have a relationship with someone who has trouble with emotions??
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:49:47 PM | This kind of goes along with the subject of being a loner. Would you have a relationship with someone who has trouble showing or cannot show emotions and feelings? For me, I am a loner because I cannot show or feel emotions well. My last SO told me she thought I was the coldest person she had ever met. I try to do everything I have seen on TV and movies and read in books to show I like the woman I am with. I can go through the motions...without emotions...
Are those of us who are like this doomed to forever spend our lives alone...banished to the outer darkness because we cannot "feel"??
I would love to have a relationship, just cannot find a woman who is willing to accept me as I am... so I am stuck trying to work around my problems...
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Ldygmr
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Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 91 | |
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/4/2006 3:52:25 PM | I understand it completely.
I like my space. I do not want someone else in it making claims on it.
If I want physical affection, I can get it wherever...I don't have to give up anything to get it. Today's instant-gratification-no-strings society is perfect for the loner. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/4/2006 4:26:27 PM | | I love living alone- 'cept of course for the dog- If I was living with a woman she might want me to get rid of the comics! See ya girl!!! | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/4/2006 5:05:43 PM | i've been married and I have 2 kids. But I am by nature a loner. I spend a lot of time to myself. I prefer it that way sometimes. I've come across ladies who don't understand when I say I'm content for the evening just staying home by myself.
I know what it stems from in my case. I was the oldest child, my parents broke up when I was 12, and then my father moved me and my brother 3,000 miles away from my mother when I was 15. I then ended up moving back with my mother for my senior year 2 years later. I went to 4 differen high schools, one each year of high school. I then joined the military 6 months out of high school. Ever since the day we moved away from my mother I always thought of myself as being alone. Jumping from school to school I never connected with any friends for more than a year.
I've never really been close to either of my parents. I have only one friend from my childhood who I keep in touch with on a semi-regular basis. Being in the military I never lived in one town more than 5 years until I moved hear to Virginia 7 1/2 years ago.
Being a loner doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, it's just that circumstances in that person's life have led to them having solitary existense. It's not always a sad thing. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/4/2006 7:16:33 PM | | I just find it very easy, and very comfortable, to be alone. Maybe that's why I'm still single. There haven't been any SOs in my life, and have lived by myself for a number of years, so it is very easy for me to come and go as I please. I do have friends and family close to me, and I try to spend as much time with them that I can. But I also find if I have been very active socially that there is a point where I say to myself "time for me", and I take it. Use that time for things that interest me without having to drag someone along all the time. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/4/2006 7:22:37 PM | I am 38, never been married, no kids, and single at the moment.. Lived through lots of relationships, good, bad, ugly, and deadly. The difference for me, I am NOT a needy person, and very comfortable within my own skin. Sure, I would love a relationship with a lady, but I am not willing to settle for having what I can, when I havent found what I WANT.. make sense? | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/4/2006 8:00:09 PM |
Someone recently crossed my path .. and they said .. they were a loner .. and were not interested in dating anyone .. or having a relationship etc .. would never get married .. would never live with someone .. now this not someone I met online .. I am not dating them etc ..
But I was just kinda taken back by it .. 46 year old man .. never married .. no kids .. never even lived with someone .. hmmm
Anyone else find this odd ? or am i being judgemental ?
He's an introverted guy who seems to know what he wants...nothing odd about that if he's happy with himself. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/7/2006 2:23:07 PM | I have friends...just very selective anymore.
I have a lot of goals...alot of things to do...not nearly as much free time to just goof off.
The stuff doesn't get done by itself.
For me...quality is far superior to quantity.
I happen to see people so thoughtless about relationships...that they're going from 1 terrible relationship after another. How is this better then my life???? (shakes head and shrugs shoulders) | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:24:34 PM | The thing about being a loner, is sometimes you don't want to be a loner. But you still are one. | |
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| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:31:57 PM | | i am not the loner type at all, but I can certainly understand the thought process involved. Some people have a hard time standing up for theriself or saying no to others. Some people can not express theirself and speak freely about the things that bother them in a relationship. So these people, I would think they actually have a locked up feeling while in a relationship, the inability to say no, the constant being walked on and taking advantage and not the proper tools to open up and speak about what is on their mind. So being alone to them would be there only sense of freedom and when approached with a situation that gets serious, they get very scared because they are so passive and almost always change to the person that their mate wants and can not be the person they are. | |
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