| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/10/2007 5:47:41 PM |
Why this is an issue is beyond me..I'm still one and if a man wants to run the other way just because I am then it's his loss. I have chosen to wait for love and not be the typical female of our generation. SEX is not what a relationship should be built on ..
Yeah right... but suppose the issue isn't that the 40-year-old has never had sex, but instead is that the 40-year-old has never had a relationship??? | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/10/2007 6:35:02 PM |
Yeah right... but suppose the issue isn't that the 40-year-old has never had sex, but instead is that the 40-year-old has never had a relationship??? Then he'd be like the players that most of the women on this site have dated, lived with, married and had kids with. No matter how you cut it, a relationship implies love, and love implies a lack of abuse and a general sense of fidelity. You cannot call it a marriage if he keeps on cheating, and you cannot call it a relationship just because he gets a woman knocked up.
FYI, I am, by choice, but had relationships, done enough stuff to KNOW that I could get any woman on this site in pleasure in an extremely short time. Heck, I could teach you. I doubt you could teach me. I only have 2 problems:
1) I came across some disgusting gang rapes when I was a kid. Put me off one-night-stands for life. I'd consider a one-night-relationship, but not casual sex. Not after the stuff I've come across, and no, before you ask, it wasn't porn. If my experiences are even close to the statistics, and from other people I've met they are, every single person on this site knows a man who was abused, a woman who was abused, and a rapist. And I bet you don't even know which one of your friends and/or family members they are. They are probably your closest friends. Some could even be your partners.
2) I have Asperger's Syndrome, so it means I need to be hit on the head with a 2x4, to tell if a woman likes me. But I'm working on it.
3) I have a serious lack of confidence when it comes to asking women out. Never been out with a woman I was attracted to. OK, well, a few, but they asked me out, and I just fancied sleeping with them, and as I said, I'm not that into casual sex. But I'm working on this too.
I am putting my best foot forward now, and expect that to happen soon. After all, no-one actually knows that I am one, excepting people I tell. I expect a lot of people on this site know, but you don't know who I am in real life, so you don't.
If there is something wrong with me, people prefer me to be the way I am. They've told me so. But most of you won't get to have sex with me, so that's not a problem. It's my choice, and you don't get a look-in. But I can guarantee you this: you wish you would. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:14:04 PM | | Well I met a man that is 42 and still a virgin today but he also a mommy boy he listen to everything she tell him to do... if you want to wait that is your choice but in today world its all around us. just look at all the videos that are out there and it all over the TV even in business sex sells in today world | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:23:20 PM | | Good for you that you value yourself enough to save it for someone special..I mean that! Great Job! | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:50:41 PM | msg 127:
Actually, what I was trying to say was, that if someone hasn’t had sex by the time they’re 40, many/most will automatically assume that person has some deep issues; 20-whatever years without having met one single person with whom to have shared romantic love is a pretty long time.
I haven’t seen the movie, but as far as I know, the virgin was not waiting for marriage – that’s another issue; behind his 40-year-old virginity, were his past traumatic experiences- he was a lonely man with issues.
I’m not getting into what you or I may believe constitutes a relationship but I do have to say scorpiomover, you seem to equate sex with one-night-stands and abuse… that’s sad! | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 9/26/2007 7:04:29 AM | | Believe it all right. I'm a 51 yo male virgin. Actually about 4% of the population never have sex. You don't have to have 2 heads to miss out. Just shyness and anxiety will do it. That's the case for me. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:14:04 AM | Re msg 130:
Actually, what I was trying to say was, that if someone hasn’t had sex by the time they’re 40, many/most will automatically assume that person has some deep issues; 20-whatever years without having met one single person with whom to have shared romantic love is a pretty long time. See msg #132 by Moin Amour:
Believe it all right. I'm a 51 yo male virgin. Actually about 4% of the population never have sex. You don't have to have 2 heads to miss out. Just shyness and anxiety will do it. That's the case for me. In my experience, if a man isn't confident, his chances of getting sex drop dramatically, especially since sex has become so competitive with men. Most of it is if the guy was bullied as a child.
I’m not getting into what you or I may believe constitutes a relationship but I do have to say scorpiomover, you seem to equate sex with one-night-stands and abuse… that’s sad! That's just my knowledge of the vast majority of what I've seen and what I've been told. The statistics back me up with the abuse. Ratio of women who've been sexually assaulted, the ratio of women who've been in violent relationships, etc. I'd rather believe that everyone just has happy relationships, because that's what I want. But the majority of relationships begin with sex, and for the most part don't get beyond that.
I have no problem with sex. I just don't want to begin with sex. But then, I have been propositioned a number of times. Maybe it's just the UK. We do have 1.5 times the number of partners as the US.
I really don't think you're aware of some of the major factors that determine the beginning of a sexual relationship. Bullying is rife in our culture. Men who were bullied are far more likely to have problems starting a sexual relationship, whether it is for a relationship or just casual sex. Women who were bullied are far more likely to have problems avoiding an abusive relationship, whether they are abused or just used for casual sex. It's a vicious cycle, and can quite a long time in our society for things to get sorted. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:52:19 AM | I’d say the biggest issue would be that someone who is 40 and still a virgin is only a virgin for a limited number of reasons:
Religious Moral objection due to not being married
Not really interested in sex
Interested in sex but only in a relationship, but has never met someone they felt that draw with….
None of those are wrong in anyway and kudos to anyone sticking to their life ethics…merely it would put us on completely different pages of life…
But still, never say “never” I guess… | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:35:07 PM | Does it not occur to anyone that the guy in question simply did not have the opportunity then once he hit a certain age he wasnt too bothered about it, and without the motive for effort there's not much chance of it happening.
This would happen once the hormones settle down and not having sex he'd not feel drawn to having it (i've heard its really addictive amoungst other things)
I say this because i hit 24 not long ago and i realise i simply dont pursue women as much as when i was 18 (and i never got close enough to any of them to even share a kiss).
What freaking chance does a guy have when he hits 30+ let alone 40, add to that the amount of women who would run away
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:43:36 PM | | If I met a 40 year old virgin, the first thing that pop into my mind, is, "mm, this guy might have some physical incapability problems... Or he might be confused by his sexual orientation. Better stay away from him... | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:57:48 PM | | It would really depend on the person and the reasons behind keeping their virginity. I can't make that sort of decision based on a 'what if'. I need way more information. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:48:53 AM | " If I met a 40 year old virgin, the first thing that pop into my mind, is, "mm, this guy might have some physical incapability problems... Or he might be confused by his sexual orientation. Better stay away from him... "
Thats a perfect example of why virgins are forced to stay virgins once they hit a certain age, most women dont want them :( | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 1/6/2008 2:27:34 PM | | Well, part of me was worried about answering this question for fear of ruining my chances of meeting a nice person and having a relationship but I figure I'll give my take on it. Not quite being forty yet I can't say for sure about the age, but in my case I didn't want to do anything too young for fear 0f ruining my future. So I mostly concentrated on my education. Unforunately I didn't really date much as a young man and I think it made me slightly socially awkward. Over time, I began to believe that I wasn't worthy of finding anyone that would like me, and that young teen-age/young adult drive to have sex with anything on two legs eventually began to wane. I also had bouts of minor depression and that didn't help much with my self-esteem. Not that I'm not interested in finding someone to have a relationship with, even a sexual one. I'm very interested in finding someone. But I mostly run in geek circles (sci-fi conventions, RPGs, stuff like that) and it's hard to find a woman who is interested in that sort of thing that isn't already involved with someone, or at least willing to put up with my geek pursuits. It's also now more a drive to find a female companion than to just find a sexual partner, not that I'm trying to save myself for miss right, but that the goal in a way has changed. Hope that answers the question a bit. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 1/12/2008 10:24:01 AM | | I think most people have sex for hedonistic reasons. Sex is fun. People like that emotional connection. I personally am waiting for marriage not only for religous reasons but it just seems logical. I've heard a lot of people say they are waiting for the right person, for love , or THE ONE. Well how much more right is the person than the one you're marrying? And if she's not the right one, why are you getting married? Sex should be one of the highest forms of expression of your love. And again if you love someone so much as to become "one flesh" as I've heard it described, why aren't you marrying that person? | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:59:19 AM | First off, no matter how intimate, no guy is ever going to say he is a "40 yr old virgin", unless he has strong religious convictions or is mentally challenged. For the most part, that would be socially unacceptable. If he has some common sense, he may tell you that he was too busy for a relationship and therefore out of practice for a decade;etc. There are dozens of excuses out there. So,you will never know whether he is or not. You`ll just have to rely on your "gut" feeling and go from there.
PS From my experience the"gut" knows all! | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 2/27/2008 3:03:06 PM | So ironic how most women in here detest virgins yet they don't want to be played by a player the the same time.
In the movie, "The 40 Year Old Virgin", the virgin wanted to keep his virginity a secret. Why? Because some women are afraid virgins. So don't ask, don't tell. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:16:12 AM |
I'm a 23 yr old virgin. I have no interest in trying to get into someone's pants for bragging rights or so someone doesn't label me as a loser. Not to say I didn't have a couple opportunities, but I just didn't have any sexual interest in someone I didn't love and was just whoring herself out to me. I guess that makes me an abnormal man, but oh well.
No, it makes you classy. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:41:03 AM | | There is a world of difference between virginity due to a lack of opportunity and virginity out of a personal choice. One says they have social difficulties, the other speaks of their character. I would welcome a 40-yr old virgin who made that a personal choice into my life. A man who is gentle, loving, and generous outside of bed will be the same in bed. He isn't a car, he is a human being. I don't have to "test drive" him. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 6/4/2008 5:24:33 PM | Then you are about as shallow as the women on here who wants to run away from virgin males....40 year old female virgins have feelings too, and they would save themselves for marriage just like the virgin males.
Men who run from me or other women obviously don't care about our feelings at all.....I have dated some, and I rather wait for the right man to come along...and there are guys who do care about ME than just sex.
SEX is not everything...it's a part of a relationship....not the whole relationship. I am not risking my health just to have sex with anyone, because STDs are so rampant today....also I was raised to be taught that you should have sex with the one you love....not have sex with just about anyone!
Oh, and get this...when you guys get old, especially the women, they do still have sex...it's not just the young. :)
And we are not staying young forever...we all will get old one day....but there is no time limit on love. :) | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 6/4/2008 5:36:13 PM | | Don't worry about all the people who said they would run from a person based on if they had sex or not - they did you a huge favor, believe me! | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:33:08 PM | I actually met one who was 43 at the time and about 48-49 now. He still lives with his parents. When I fell "in love" with him I thought I'd hit the jackpot cause I had been there myself but no matter what I did to try to make this guy like me (and Im sure he did) just not the way I'd like..I finally realized that it's just that some people are happy the way they are. There are millions of people who are not religious and are happy being celebate and living their lives..why should we pass judgement on them when we choose not to live our lives that way. Staying celebtate is a non-sexual lifestyle some people choose. Anyway after I realized that this guy was happy with how his life was being lead then I was able to let go and move on..unfortunately I haven't been to successful in any meeting decent guys either.. | |
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| 40 year old virgin question?
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:34:12 PM |
If I met a 40 yr old virgin..i'd tell him to contact ripley's because thats unbelievable..
But on a serious note, I really wouldnt know how to react..All the guys i've met hasnt been a virgin since they were 17..so meeting a 40 yr old virgin would be....wow...unbelievable..hence my first
why? because you think everything is a slut and sleeping with everyone like you? | |
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