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| Autism Parents
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:39:29 PM | | It is hard enough when men leave relationships which involve children, but for a husband to leave his wife (or for a wife to leave her husband) and a special needs child seems especially cold. I guess it depends on the circumstances. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 7/21/2009 12:28:42 AM | Bravo, great post. Having a positive attitude is more than half the job.
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 7/21/2009 12:43:55 AM | Ok I still don't know how to post without "repying" to someone. This is the first website I've known where you simply can't post. But have to respond to someone all the time.
My son has high functioning autism and I'm proud of him (which was misdiagnosed as PDD but my ex-wife wants it that way.) He has a great personality. His autism enables him to have a high iq, be curious, innocent and not be fake like the masses. Today's materialistic society puts rudeness and aggression at the top while having a heart is at the bottom of the barrel.
Our society has lost it's way to label "autism" a disease. Everyone has a gift and to try to pill a high functioning highly intelligent person (because they tell the truth) is the epitome of a society that has lost it's way. We worship & reward $$ CEO's that work 80+ hours a week (sometimes for misleading the public) while paying the lowest salaries to workers who take care of Human Beings (elder care, nursery care workers, etc.)
To me high functioning Autism is not a disease. But having a cold heart is; they are the ones who should be pilled. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/19/2009 2:09:57 AM | a wee poem for all the parents like me with a very special (AUTISTIC ) child Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland. FOR MY SON AND ALL OUR KIDS | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/2/2009 12:11:23 AM | Thank you for posting Holland, Cats. 
I feel like I've written on this thread quite a ways back, but will re-up here.
God gave me a blonde haired blue eyed boy that is now 7 and also gave him ADHD/ODD with an Aspberger's Rule Out just to keep me on my toes. 
When he turned four, I thought I had made the gods very angry. I'd worked with special needs children in my former life (B.E<--before Elijah) & sub-consciously knew that something wasn't right. Noise sensitivities, crowds, anger, defiance, fear of separation...the list goes on. At age 5, he was tested by one of the best sites in the state. He was said to have dysgraphia & needed an OT as his fine-motor skills were almost non-existant.
The bad days are hell on earth-any parent being honest will admit to it. Those are the days you wonder whattttt?!!!! & long for a break-no matter how long or short. Five seconds to get your mind right...
The good days far outwiegh the bad days @ this point. He is 7, in an Alternative Learning Enviroment & also in Quest/Gifted & Talented & mainstream 2nd grade classes part of the day. He's slowly recognizing what sets him off & communicating this with me, finding his voice as well as his mind & Lord help up all, he knows it wll.
He told me a couple weeks ago that he was so happy that he chose me to be his moma & kissed me hugely. Those times after seeing so much trial are what makes everything better almost instantly. I wouldn't trade those time or him for anything. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/2/2009 2:57:44 PM | Hi
I haven't read all the posts (not much time lol) but will certainly look at them all eventually. My oldest autistic daughter just turned 6 (also have an apparantly "normal" toddler). I am separated, but it's amicable and the kids are with their dad a few times a week and we live close.
My daughter is high functioning. We were fortunate in our city to have as much services offered to us as we needed. She was in regular schooling for jk and sk, but this year was accepted to an autism special class. She's thriving and blossoming! She was always a very sweet child, I was stressed out by lack of sleep and the odd stubborn outbursts. With her speaking delay, there was a lot of communication confusion and frustration almost daily, but now she's able to express herself better and it's getting more peaceful and fun!
I am SO proud of her! She doesn't have behavioural problems, she is empathetic, and she's even made friends in our neighbourhood, even with communication issues and social awkwardness, but I'm a protective parent and she's not ever out of a trusted adult's company.
They are all wonderful and truly special children, I also wouldn't change her for the world. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:49:47 PM | Just curious......how many would homeschool a child with asperger's if circumstances allowed it?
My youngest has asperger's and he has days where he has asked to be homeschooled.(usually after a very trying day at school or after a day spent dealing with bullies) | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:54:50 PM | notfrau, that is sad, we as parents can feel helpless when our children are bullied. You live in a small town and (I checked your profile) you have had a hard life. I applaud you for your strength in what you have accomplished this far.
I feel very fortunate about the services that have helped with my daughter (I live in a small city). IMHO, these children will do well in an environment that agrees with their sensitivities. I also believe they would do well in small groups learning together.
Very near impossible in a small town, but can you have your child bused to a near city for special class suited to him?
My child just started in a new school this year and is bused only several kilometers away from home. I was hesitant at first, but she's very much enjoying school and it's a big school with other regular classes going on as well (she see's the best of both worlds, her own safe little structured class, and the the mob's of kids sitting in the other regular classes).
Well, school can be overwhelming and awkward even for non-challenged folks. I hope you might find a better situation for your child. Good luck to you, and best wishes. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:28:48 PM |
Very near impossible in a small town, but can you have your child bused to a near city for special class suited to him?
Not an option as there are only 2 school districts in the entire county, the one he's currently in (about 12-13 miles away)and one a bit further away (I don't know how much farther away it is).
The current school district refused to put him as an asperger's child on his IEP -- they would only put the pragmatic language disorder, and as I was dealing with too much else at the time I didn't have the energy to fight them on that point. (he was diagnosed March 2009 at 12 -- partially due to ex forbidding having him tested from 3 on)
Right now he gets ST 2x/week and PT 1x/week. He's in regular ed classes for all his classes and acedemically he's doing good. He does get a study hall that most of the regular 7th graders do not get and since it is at the end of the day he does get 99% of his homework done in school. Historically, with him, the first quarter would go great then go down hill from there the remainder of the school year. Oddly (or maybe not so oddly) his social skills are improving more from spending time with a very social 9 yo boy on the block than from anything the ST has done. (IMO anyway)
I have been giving thought to homeschooling him next school year as we likely will be moving mid-school year and he would have fewer changes at one time that way. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:08:00 AM | My 7 yr old has hell from Sept-Dec every year without fail as many teachers are out going to workshops & they have different subs & then there are holidays stuck here & there that drive him crazy because of the lack of continuity.
I love the idea of homeschooling except for the lack of socialization in the school setting. I'd be afraid mine would go turn inward without daily contact. He has OT & Behavior therapy one on one & small group (@ school) & I think it helps tremedously. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/6/2009 1:21:14 PM | | Anyone else read about the studies that show the incidence of autism is getting closer to 1 in 100 rather than the currently accepted 1 in 150? | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:44:05 AM | | The true amount of kids affected is very hard to find out . lots groups tryed in britain they hyad no susess . most new cases are regressive autistic . meaning born and developed normal . This is only been happining just over 20 yrs . kids did not regress b4 that . read prof bernard rimlands studies . his son is autistic he was born autistic . my son like many others was fine .the rise is alarming | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:49:07 AM |
Anyone else read about the studies that show the incidence of autism is getting closer to 1 in 100 rather than the currently accepted 1 in 150?
Yup, but that is for an "autism spectrum disorder", they keep adding things to the list so the numbers go up. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/8/2009 1:28:48 PM |
Yup, but that is for an "autism spectrum disorder",
yes, and autism spectrum disorder, simply refers to any person on the spectrum, anywhere from profoundly autistic to aspergers, that definition has been around for many years now, so the numbers quoted are probably pretty accurate.
about the only difference is probably better diagnosis of kids with aspergers, but fortunately this has been the case for a fair while now.
the waiting list at work just grows, despite increased staff and services | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/10/2009 6:31:06 AM | | ITS growing cause they never removed the mercury just lowered the dose read jenny mccarthys book | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:59:48 PM | It looks like we have no idea what will impact to my kids after they got so many different kind of shots. My son got 4 shots the second day of he's born. I have no idea why he did not talk in full sentence until he's 7. But he seem slowly progress each year. He is 18 now. He is autistic all the way. he is a pretty high function autism kid. He is a good helper to me. He helps for the dishes. yard work and carring heavy stuff for me. He has been placed in a Asperger spectrum includsive class in middle and high school. main stream with help. His every inches of progress was including my yeas of hard work and special love.
For all those years of being a single mom with special need child. It raises questions about when we looking for mates. “Who comes first, our loved children or our mate?"
Can we put them in the same dish?
I had been single for 16yrs. Men found excuse to leave the relationship dated me 6moths or more becuse of my child. My son is a good kid. Not a trouble maker. Sometimes he just had no reponds when you talked to him even say hi to him. I just don't know where those great men with a big heart for us and our kids.
"Does anyone knows when is a good time to desclose about your child? Any successful dating story can share? "
I mentally prepared my child is going to live with me until he is about 25 or before 30. Slowly I am going to have him go to a group home or with a few other people learn to be independence. Will this scare and make my dates fun away from me?
Thank you | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/13/2009 2:06:28 AM | | We come as a package me and my son . Idont look for a partner now as im content in my life . my son has his dad as well hes a great help .he takes him sevral nights a week . If men leave due to your sons autism . they werent worth having | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/14/2009 12:15:06 AM | Thank you. You are right. Our special kids made us to be a better person. The man is so special to keep is the one just like a hero or have a heart of gold.
My son had not seen his dad since 2. He has full schedule of activities now. counselor, social group, piano, special Olympic. movies .. I went on all those with him. I had the opportunities to met people and becames friends because of him. our life is busy, fill with Joy and peaceful. Family's love and understanding gave our autism kid hopes, a place to rest, feel safe and peaceful to grow. It helps them to improve.
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/16/2009 4:46:08 AM | my 9 year old daughter is autistic but thankfully shes kinda growing out of it
shes been at a special school for 5 years now and theyve really helped in fact shes a diferent child alltogether 5 years ago she was very distressed, fearful and used to self harm and was rigid on routine to the point she would have to walk the same way round the mall following her previous footsteps and go bananas if i even tried to go in a new shop now shes a bundle of fun open to anything new always laughing always telling storys out loud and thats the weired thing she can read from a book or memory perfectly sentance after sentance, but in conversation she wont do it its 2 or 3 words at the most but yes apart from her vocabulary you wouldnt really know shes autistic
but that delayed speech has obviously held her back i dont see her ever going into a mainstream school or catching up fully but i do live in hope and im not as terrified like i was 5 or 6 years ago
good luck and best wishes to all you parents in the trenches, keep fighting
its always darkest before the dawn
peace
Frosty | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:56:09 AM | | i have a question my two yr old is showin some signs of autism she is already seein a physical therapist through early child hood intervention and the therapist says shes fine. i dont know where or how to begin to get her tested. i have talked to her doctor but the little one horse town i live in is mostly quaks. Please where do i begin | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:05:58 AM | | IM IN BRITAIN HUNNY WE HAVE A NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE . YOU NEED TO WATCH HER YOURSELF .. EYECONTACT WOULD BE POOR NON EXISTANT , SHE WOULD ALSO BE LACKING IN THE ABILITY TO PLAY WITH OTHER KIDS . SPEACH DELAY AT HER AGE SHOULDNT CAUSE WORRY .. SOME KIDS TWITCH LINE THINGS UP .. for now i would just watch her development . try to get her playing with other kids . shes only a few mnths older than my grandaughter . shes still developing try not to worry ..your the same age as my daughter she worrys as well . just enjoy your wee girl . any worrys you can msg me on pof . IM A MOTHER AS WELL X | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/19/2009 2:57:26 PM | Never quite understood why parents struggle with Asperger / Autistic kids.
Ive been diagnosed as suffering from Aspergers. One of mine is an Aspie like me and my other one is Autistic.
Again, Im not quite sure why they think I suffer from it.
If I want to learn something, I do. Quickly. And if I dont, guess what?
I never have to worry about what other people think of me - or my kids. We enjoy the sort of freedom that most people couldnt even imagine. For example, yesterday it was raining, so we decided to go puddle jumping. By the time we got out, there were no puddles. SO we jumped into the harbour instead. They did look a little suprised when we went shopping later still dripping. This didnt cause us any problems, in fact watching their expressions as my little ones skidded up the shopping isles making patterns out of the water running out of their clothes.....No problem for us though.
I noticed a woman staring at us in Pizza Hut a few days ago. Seems she hadnt seen anyone make sandwiches out of slices of pizza, whole cherry tomatoes and ice cream before. Seems it was causing her a problem. No idea why. My kids were eating smarties in thousand island dressing as that was what they fancied, although it seemed to be me the normals were staring at. No idea why as I wasnt really doing anything that strange.
Most kids seem to have to sleep all night. Mine sleep in 2 hour blocks then get up and play some more. They sleep about 6 hours a night in all and have done since very small. Most of that sleeping is done where they pass out - on the trampoline, on the kitchen table upside down on the stairs, wherever they feel tired. Obviously, we keep all the beds made in case a normal with authority arrives, as this causes them a problem, which they usually have the desire to share.
If any of us feel the need to throw anything out of the windows and then laugh, run down stairs, go get it and then go do it again, we do. Sometimes for hours. Never did work out why normals dont do that.
When we get emotional, which to us is a problem (I have 3 emotions, normal, angry and frightened), we headbutt something or chew bits out of our hands until we feel better. Never quite understood how normals can go through life without doing this. or quite why they think its so bad. We wouldnt do it was bad for us!
I am going to go and mix up some more fibreglass and paint my kitchen table.
I dont struggle with Asperger / Autistic kids, just normal people.
Have a lovely, lovely day.
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/20/2009 4:20:40 AM | good 4 u happybear
me and jnr at tescos checkout otherday
jnr: fraid so,me: fraid not, jnr: fraid so,me: fraid not, jnr: fraid so,me: fraid not, jnr: fraid so,me: fraid not, jnr: fraid so,me: fraid not, jnr: fraid so,me: fraid not,
jnr: yesway, me: noway, jnr: yesway, me: noway, jnr: yesway, me: noway, jnr: yesway, me: noway, jnr: yesway, me: noway, jnr: yesway, me: noway, jnr: yesway, me: noway,
jnr: did too, me: did not, jnr: did too, me: did not, jnr: did too, me: did not, jnr: did too, me: did not, jnr: did too, me: did not, jnr: did too, me: did not,
jnr: oh yes i did, me: oh no you didnt, jnr: oh yes i did, me: oh no you didnt, jnr: oh yes i did, me: oh no you didnt, jnr: oh yes i did, me: oh no you didnt,
by the time we'd got finished the checkout girl looked like she wanted to kill me
we walked off laffing our heads off
5 years ago i was ashamed of her illness and jealous of other children and terrified of the future, but now i dont care about any of it were muddling along great
and everyone else can kiss my hairy white a$$hole
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:18:15 PM | Hi - Parent of 11 yr old autistic son. I have home-schooled year before last and will do so again next year. My disability service worker organized for my son and 2 other boys in same situation, with carers or parents present to get together one day a week-end for a socialization outings. This is brilliant as C's ability to handle stress from being out and socializing daily is really challenged when he is made to attend school -even part-time. In australia it is your legal right to home-school -Autism diagnosis or not. It doesnt have to be looked at as it will make your child a weirdo or reject either- Autism will do that just fine anyways right?! So I am trying to minimize his escalations by limiting his sesory overload to outside stimulus. This is better for him than forceing him to daily be subjected to people who do not undertsnad him in the in depth way I do so there for put great expectations onto him that he cannot help but fail at. A non-conducive environment will escalate behaviour and that is the parents cue that some-thing is wrong in the setting NOT the child. The child has the diagnosis for a reason. Best of luck to you all-fight hard and never give up on your special ones. :)  | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:08:06 PM | I am a single mother of a 7 year old son, who is autistic. I would be interested in joining a group whether it be posting thoughts and sharing stories or even meeting at places.
My son is high functioning so I'm not concerned with what someone I'm dating thinks of him or his behaviors. When it comes to dating someone, my concern is would they fit into our lives, and how well would they treat my son. Not only my son I have a daughter as well but she's able to speak freely and tell me if someone doesn't treat her the right way. My son on the other hand can't do that. Therefore, I've keep men out of my life. Had a few boyfriends but obviously none that stuck around to take on this family full of diversity. | |
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