| Autism Parents :"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time."
Posted: 8/31/2006 5:29:12 PM | Hmmm that Card idea is cool..
if anything you might make some friends..
My daughter is absolutly normal.. just like me.. Cept I was diagnosed as mildly autistic as a child because i didn't speak.. hardly did until i was 16..
no one thought maybe I just didn't see any reason for speaking and was shy..
fortunately for me there was no money for treatments, special schools etc and I went to everyday schools and was just the quiet one..
but then my mother emigrated with half the family and I had lots of new experiences learning a new language etc.. and awakening to the fairer sex. Working with 6 housewifes demolished my shyness and I learnt to speak my mind.. bit like cycling once you start its easy to go to far..:-D
Now people descibe me as a large guy who talks all the time.
what is Autism anyway? its just a "syndrom" a way of being different.. a different train of thought.
My brother has a daughter who had Aspergers syndrom, wheat allergy iritable bowel syndrom.
Before she was diagnosed every one thought she was a cute kid with odd behaviour..
she used to glaze over and then do shaking her hands while looking at them.
I used to too when I was on my own, 'cause I was bored and liked the trance 'feeling'
After diagnosis she was treated differently and changed dramatically becoming socially 'handicapped' in her teens.
How many people have read the book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time." by Mark Haddon?
It gives an amazing insight into so called 'autistic' logic.
It is a sad book though, not for depressives.
Anyway, that card idea is cool.. Maybe I could adapt it for when my daughter throws a tantrum.
Some sort of disclaimer I think.. with contact details on it just in case ..
Its hard meeting new people when your single parent..:-P  | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 8/31/2006 5:39:04 PM | it sounds more like a bossy baby to me..
babies learn fast who's in charge.. if you let them be in charge it gets harder and harder to be respected..
austistic kids go into tantrums when something 'clicks' in their head.. like a fuse.
Spoilt kids go into tantrums all the time at a whim when they want or don't want something.
Well that's my observations..
most probably totally incorrect.. | |
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cjk
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Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 103 | |
| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/1/2006 10:58:35 AM | I am a lucky woman to have been blessed with 3 children. Although I have lost one at the age of 13, but I still have my two sons. My oldest he is absolutely a great kid. If it weren't for him I would not know what to do. I also have an 8 year old who has several health issues, and one of those is Lenix Gastaut Syndrome, and Asburgers Syndrome, and ADHD. In a nut shell my son has 5 different types of seizures, plus he vents out in Anger, so often, but it's not his fault. I have noticed that with him when he gets frustrated about not being able to do something, that is when we see the difference. Asburgers Disease is at the low end of Autism. I see many physicians for him, but I still find time to work two jobs, don't get any support whatsoever, but you know what it always works itself out. I have experienced many times near loses with him, but he's my hero, and always will be.
Joi | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/1/2006 11:08:04 AM | | I am newly single... I haven't had the experiences you all have had yet.. but the fit throwing at the store is common for us. My son is 4... midly/moderately autistic. This is a great forum for information. I usually have pictures of my kids... now I know I must ALWAYS have a picture. I'm all he's got.... what would I do if someone doubted I was his Mommy. I can't even imagine. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 2:33:07 AM | hi i also would be interested in this forum. i am single of my son who is 13. he has diagnosis of aspergers and ocd. he is having a lot of problems coping with school at the moment. and is being teased and bullied. i have written to the principal, and spoken to a number of professionals to try and help him with the issues he is facing at school. its so heartbreaking and he has no real friends at school that he can hang out with and feel safe with. and soon he will have to go to highschool. the battle has only just begun.    | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 2:59:57 AM | I have a 6 year autistic son, he has asperger syndrome, he tends not to like anyone that come's into our lives, he is all me and I think gets jealous of people not in a nasty way but he tries to be the center of attention when anyone is around me this is even the case when I go and see my mom, I cant talk to anyone without him listening and wanting to know what we are talking about, but on the other hand when he meets someone and likes them he goes full on with them thinking every man is put on this earth to play his play station or to kick a football about with him.
The one thing that seem's to be getting on my nerves is when people ask me what I do as a job and I tell them I am a carer to my son and they ask what is the matter with him so I tell them as we have nothing to be ashamed about but they turn around and say "sorry", I don't understand why they are sorry I have a very special little boy with some amazing talents that a 12 year old doesn't have so I'm not sorry | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 1:05:18 PM | Divababes:
I get the same thing in my career choice all the time. I have the training and desire to do what I was I trained to do. And could make tons of more money doing it. And then when I finially tell people what actually do they almost look disapointed...
They ask me questions why would you not do that line of work that I was trained for, and make lots of money. And my answer is simple. Upon becoming a single parent of kid with Autism I quickly realized there is no one for me to bounce him off of. No one else there that can help me set up Therapy Appointments... Communicate with schools... Ext.. I was going to have to be son Advocate because he couldn't speak for himself.
So I left my employment.. Much to my employers dismay I might add. They were trying to promote me and offer me more money, and I instead quit... LOL... But I now do work that allows me to have flexible schedule.. doesn't involve me leaving town.. and in all honesty is the type of work I can leave at work, don't need to bring it home with me. Which means when I'm home I can direct my attention towards my son, and his needs.
I may not make as much money now as I did before.. I'm still comfortable. All my bills are paid.. I live in a decent house... all down the line.. But my son needs are more important then my desire to become rich. Thats my simple answer that I give people. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 1:25:00 PM | ^^^
I just had to comment that isn't ironic that the government will pay appropriate fosterhomes aprox $4000.00 (or they use to) per month to pay for our children, and yet when I was forced to go on income assistance I was given a total run around I even had to get letters (more than one)from the doctor stating that he was autistic and that he needed special care ect... | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 2:41:38 PM | I love this thread!!! Thanks Spiderham for starting it. I can so relate to everyone!!! I just had to say after reading all of your posts I don't feel so unique or isolated. I too am a divorced mom of an Autistic child …. He turns 12 soon. A while I don’t have it as bad as some of you (my ex is still in the picture and regardless of all that went wrong between us, he is an awesome father)… sometimes the frustration of having “deal” with all the things we consider normal is about as much as I can take.
I'm not surprised that so many here are touched by Autism, when my son was born 1 of every 1000 were diagnosed... now it's 1 of every 166. You have a better chance of having an autistic child then you do of winning the lottery.
I don't know about the rest of you, but trying to explain my trials and tribulations to people who have not experienced Autism first hand, seem to not quite get it.
Amen.
My son is extremely intelligent, but not extremely verbal. He says "NO" when he can't say what he wants or can't process what is being asked of him. We still have issues with "proper" behavior (let's just say he has no modesty) he has melt downs, etc, etc…. I’m sure you all can relate.
When my son was younger I had a business card made up that simply stated:"My son is autistic, you are obviously too ignorant to know what that means. Be thankful."
Now that he's older (almost 12) most people who first meet him don't realize he has a disability. Sometimes it's a blessing.... Sometimes it's a curse. But there is no way I’d change anything about him…… that which does not kill you only makes you stronger. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 4:01:49 PM | Wakanda:
Another card person.. Sweet!! I thuoght that was a great idea... I found one of the cards my friend used to use it says
"Thank You for your interest in me. My name is Tyler. I have Autism. And before you form an opinion about my mom, just think she has to deal with this everyday. Again thank you for your interest."
I thought it was great... The comments that drive me the most nuts are when he is having an episode, and I simply start getting told by people that I need to learn to control my son better... Or start trying to talk to my Son as if he is rational at the time... Even though you try and explain he is not understanding a word your saying.
I have no problems with people not understanding whats going on with my son... Why should I expect them 2 if they have never had to deal with it. It just pisses me off when even after being informed, ignorance prevails!!! | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 4:15:23 PM | My son now has a shirt that states "I'm autistic, what's your excuse?"; along with another one with a construction symbol and a big red X that states "Doesn't play nice with others"
if you can't see the humor in it.... it can drive you crazy.
I actually had the police called on me when he was younger. He was having a melt down in the mall, I swung him over my shoulder and proceeded to take him to the car. Someone at the mall thought I was abducting him. It took 25 minutes to convince the cops he was my son and to "educate" them on autism.
But some pretty cool things happen too. I shared this with you Spiderham, I thought I'd post it here too. ...
We went camping last weekend, and visited a flea market. A booth had a really nice tandem bike, and my autistic son wouldn't take his eyes off it.
They were asking $ 795.00 for it, I had no idea how I was going to swing it, but asked the lady is I could "try" it with him before I bought it. He wouldn't go near it, cried and started to melt down. (a common occurance when he can't process something)
The next day we went back. The bike now said "Make Offer" again I wanted to see if he'd even sit on it. My brother was with me and took my son's hand and after an hour coaxed him on the rear seat. He gave him a ride around the flea market, as he passed the smile on his face was priceless. I began to cry. The lady asked me what was wrong, I explained to her he was autistic and had NEVER rode a bike before and I never thought I would see the day when he would. (He's almost 12)
Her husband walked up to me. I asked him if he'd take $ 400.00 (everything I had in savings). He told me no, he'd take $200.00 cause that's the best offer he had, from another guy who wanted to buy it to re-sell it but he wanted my son to have the bike. Because he would truley enjoy it
I gave him a check for $ 200.00 and my brother gave him a ride all the way back to the camp ground. We took turns the rest of the evening riding around the grounds. (My legs are killing me today ... I hadn't ridden a bike in like 30 years.)
Monday I woke him and told him it was time to get up and pack so we could go home and he could ride his bike. He bolted out of bed and shot to the van, didn't even bother getting dressed. Needless to say we did several times around the block Monday evening.
I looked the bike up on the internet.... these bikes sell used for over a grand. As a single parent there was no way I could have ever afforded it. I started crying all over again because a stranger could be so generous just to see my little boy smile. I knew you’d all understand. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 4:27:45 PM | Wakanda:
Ya I read that story in the Email... Thats awsome. Here in the Vancouver Area there is this organization that allow children with disorders like Autism to do things they normally would not be able to do. I'll have to find the name, I'm sorry in a folder somewhere... But I know they have chapters all over North America.
For my son he has this fasination with Airplanes. Well we got a chance, at no charge to myself.. Although I donated some money to the cause anyways. But they chartered an old fashion WW1 By Plane out of a local Aiport and allow my son and I to go flying for a good hour or so up there... Was amazing..
I asked why would they do such a thing. And the kind old owner of the plane expressed that every child deserves a chance to experience lifes unexpected miracles. And then he tipped his hat to me, and expressed that I was doing even greater work then him simply by being there with him.
Since that ride my Son has grown even more interested in planes.. And actually a favorite activity of ours is to go the local airport a simply watch them take off and land.. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/6/2006 5:19:55 PM | I was president of our local chapter of ASA (Autism Society of America) for 5 years. They fund music therapy for every AI classroom in our county. It was an awesome experience.
My son is obsessed with maps - google earth is his favorite, at 12 he knows every capitol of every country in the world, can pick their language, currency and even knows the time zone and he can show you it on google maps in all of about 5 seconds. He reads at a high school level, unfortunately he just can't communicate it. But will recite real estate channel ads and repeat advertising jingles until you pull your hair out.
He also loves ebay - Disney Video's and DVD, but he does all of his google / ebay searches in ALL CAPS ... drives me crazy when he's been on my computer. He also loves to change my wallpaper, screen saver and move my task bar to the top of the screen. It takes him all of about 30 seconds to accomplish it.
Gotta love him.
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/7/2006 4:32:41 PM | | How is everyone adjusting to school starting? | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:46:40 PM | ^^^
wetcoastgal
its interesting what you said about the younger ones copying the older child, my son is older than my daughter and she sometimes mimics some of his behaviours like pointing and grunting instead of using her words. She is very "normal" 5 year old and it is strictly an attention seeking activity, it frustrates me, but I have explained Autism (age approprately) to her and I remind her to "use her words". Its funny once when my daughter was about 2 and my son was 7 we were in a store and a man was trying to ask Talon a question, and my daughter kept answering him, I said "Talon is autistic and he does not talk" and the man answered "Well I guess she makes up for that" | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/12/2006 4:44:36 PM | Does anyone have older Autistic boys? Mine is going on 12 and I could really use some advice.
Thanks In Advance! | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/12/2006 6:12:40 PM | My best friend has three children. A set of twins, one severe speech & developmental delay, one autistic, & a younger son that is also autistic. She is my rock. I've worked w/ autistic kids for several years & know beyond reason that they are not stupid, slow, or any other terminology I've heard connected to them. They are brilliant, gifted, loving, amazing, gifts from God. I am thankful that I've learned from one of the best influences, my girlfriend.
She has had both autistic sons on the wheat-free diet (I'm horrible w/ names) & it has been working wonders. She has taken them to Baltimore to a clinical research group & not a day goes by that she isn't researching any method she can get her hands on to better her chidlren's lives.
I can't speak firsthand in my experiences, but can tell you from the heart, you are all awesome. NEVER doubt it.
I LOVE the buisness card idea & the t-shirts!
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/12/2006 7:35:28 PM | Great thread! I didn't read every post since this was started a while back, but I did search for Aspergers and was surprised to see so many posts as it is a fairly new and greatly undiagnosed disorder.
I have 4 children. My oldest was very advanced verbally and physically (had 150 words at 15 months and walked at 9 months). Aside from always having some weird thing at the beginning of school, he's healthy. (3 years ago it was an ulcer, 2 years ago emergency hand surgery for what they thought was a cancerous mass, and this year, yesterday actually, he had an abscessed tooth pulled)
My second son has hypotonia and sensory issues. He hates clothes and prefers to be in boxers or shorts (sans underwear) that have an elastic waistband. This wouldn't be such an issue except for the fact that he's 7 and the size of a 12 year old and finding elastic waistbands in that size is no easy feat. Thank God for crocs because they're so light and easy to slip on that he will actually wear them some of the time. He has a lot of accidents and has chronic reflux that has done permanent esophagial damage (he sounds like he's been smoking a carton a day since birth) We're planning on surgery this year to fix the problem permanently, but there's no way to know for sure if his vocal chords will ever recover.
My third son has high functioning Aspergers as well as sensory issues. His weighted blanket and proprioceptive work go a long way to helping him sit still and be calm. Last year, he was a poster child for Ritalin, but I think something has changed in his body and it now makes him irritable when he's coming off of it. I'm still not sure if it's that or the divorce so I'm just observing. He is repeating kindergarten this year at the same school my other kids go to and he should be on track from here on out. He has the mental abilities, but he's about 18 months behind emotionally and socially.
My daughter has Aspergers as well, but since it manifests differently in girls, she really just has the sensory side. She also has epilepsy and while she's only had 3 grand mals, she has 3-4 petit mals a week. She's not on any medication, thankfully, as they still aren't interferring with her ability to learn. She hasn't slept through the night since she was born, but her weight blanket has helped some with that and she will now stay in her own bed 2-3 nights a week. It's hard because I never know if she's just being clingy or has had a seizure in her sleep so I just let her in bed with me.
They've all had some major medical issue or another and I can tell anyone what ER to go to for what problem and who the best specialist is for just about anything. I'm thinking about becoming an RN since I already have so much experience LOL
I'm sure some people have talked about this, but these syndromes are harder in a lot of ways than the more visible ones like Downs or cerebal palsy. I'm so thankful that my kids are as healthy as they are, but it's hard sometimes when they act out and people look at you like you're a bad parent. They would never look that way if your child had Downs, but they always assume it's bad parenting when your kid looks normal. I know a lot of people get pissy when they see a kid acting up, but I actually am thankful because I know I'm not the only one!
I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this here, but for those of you who have kiddos that have trouble falling asleep, talk to your neuro about melatonin. It's an all natural hormone that our body makes anyway that our neuro recommended. I give it to all of mine, even the "normal" one LOL It's not really sedating and has been proven to be totally safe and free of side effects. I give each of them 1mg and 30 mins later they're out. They haven't developed a tolerance to it and I've been using it for over a year now. I've recommened it to several other moms I know with special needs children and it's worked wonders for them as well. You can get it in the sublingual cherry form at GNC for like $5 for 60 tablets. It's really cheap and really worth the effort if you have kiddos that you have to practically tie to the bed. Anyway, hope it helps someone! :) | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/24/2006 3:27:48 PM | I used melatonin for about a year when my son was at his worse, around 8/9 . I also used it myself when I had a real hard time sleeping right after my divorce, can't say enough good about it. You can actually buy it in dollar stores around here, and I haven't seen any research that suggest anything but what casandria has said.  | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/24/2006 5:33:04 PM | Yes I am a parent of an autistic daughter and do find it hard to relate to other parents who don't have this issue. Like they don't understand why your standing there looking around when they are talking to you and they think your ignoring them when in reality you are just checking to make sure your child is not getting into trouble or is o.k.
Would love to talk to other parents about this stuff would be intersting to meet and see how the kids would get along.
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/24/2006 10:34:35 PM | | hey folks, i have a 7 y/o little boy whom was diagnosed with PDD and Aspergers with a hint of ADD. i would like to share my story but it will have to wait untill i sleep becasue it is 1:30am and i am tired. but had to " mark" this forumas one i needed to get back to. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/25/2006 6:33:51 AM | | I just got a card for my son. Helps a lot when we go to the store because he thinks he is supposed to get chicken nuggets every time we leave the house.We use them as a reward for good behavior in public | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/25/2006 6:18:57 PM | I'm slo glad I'm not alone in the whole Autism Single Parent thing....
So we've started a new School Season... my Boy luckly fell right back into routine... Was kinda interesting.. We go to school. Go in the front door. Sit Down, wait for the bell, and then the SEA comes to meet us..
I turn to my Boy, ask for a hug, to which he abruptly tells me "No Dad , Go Away" and motions me out the door. Once thats accomplished he seems to have a good day. My question is there any little routine that you all have to go through in order to ensure a good day for child?
One sinde note, now that school has started.. We come in the door about 6-630 every evening... And he litterally walks... has a quick bite to eat, Pulls out a book, and then lays in bed and crashes by 8.. Woohoo School is having a great side effect, allowing me to have more me time... LOL | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/25/2006 8:25:17 PM | I am so glad that I found this thread. I feel like a veteran at this whole single mom of a child with autism. My son is 13 and considered to have profound autism. He is non verbal and unfortunately not potty trained (not from lack of trying lol). I could tell so many stories and relate to so many of the posts I have read.
I would love to get to know some other single parents. It is very hard for me to get out and do anything really. My ex is not bad with our son, but he doesn't really take him much. How do all of you cope? I know I am so tired at times. | |
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| Autism Parents
Posted: 9/26/2006 5:15:05 AM | | Hi, my son who's 8 has just been diagnosed with Autism, im still in shock....He has muliple disabilities that we deal with on a daily basis, so to be told he has been struggling through so much for such a long time, i am totally upset, devestated..how could i have missed it??? | |
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