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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 4:00:10 PM | I like to point something out here; I've noticed that some people recommends to ignore your kids will, I STRONGLY recommend the OPOSIT!
This is NOT an illness, this is a decision you are making to be with someone that WILL INTERACT AND INFLUENCE YOUR CHILDS LIFE!
A child is just a small human being, there are a lot of things they don't know about life, that's why there are ADULTS to explain it to them, and they DO UNDERSTAND, some times better than what you think.
Just like us they have THEIR OWN IDENTITY that you as a parent are in/charge of helping them to give shape to it.
But they have the exact same rights as we do, if someone thinks that a child would abuse those rights, THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T TAUGHT PROPERLY = ADULT'S FAULT!
Therefore if there are kids who "don't behave" DON'T BLAME IT ON THE KID! DON'T DRUG THEM WITH "professional's drugs"...LOOK FOR WHOM "EDUCATED" THEM!!!
And last..........remember this, if you want to have respect from your kids, show them what respect is; explaining and RESPECTING THEM.
I guess you know that if your kids are going to love you or hate you for the rest of their lives, it'll depend upon, how good your relationship is with them, and how much they admire(or despise) you for been so good/bad to them, and will respect you as long as you respect them.
I imagine that you are aware of most of this, just want to explain WHY it is NOT a good Idea for you to rely in recommendations of invalidations towards your kids’ self-determinism.
And as a side note; for me a 16 years old may be a young person, but certainly not a kid anymore. | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 4:26:32 PM | I don't know as I'd go so far as to sell them on eBay, or drop them off at the local shelter for unwanted and stray children
But I think you do need to make it clear that though you love and treasure them, your life does not totally revolve around them. Kids can become manipulators at a very early age...
Does their Mom have a b/f? How do they feel about him?? Someone earlier commented that they may hope for Mom and Dad to get back together and that could well be the case...
I would have little respect for a man who pushed his kids aside and totally ignored their feelings and needs,but I would also have little respect for a guy who let his kids yank his chain and run his life, either.
Cindy O | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 4:39:19 PM |
What do you do when your two younger children 7 and 9 (boys) tell you that they dont like the girl your seeing
You're children ALWAYS come first, she's not good enough for them...she's not good enough for you.
Ciao | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 4:40:44 PM | | I did the same to my mom when i was 10 , its a game , they wont like anyone. If your happy they will eventually be happy. My mom stuck to her guns 28 years ago and she is still married to my step dad whom by the way I think is the greatest. | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 5:05:01 PM | When my children were younger I never let them met a man I was dating unless it looked like it was going to be more serious. For the most part my dating life and my mom life were two separate "worlds".
My children are grown now(age 18-31) and I trust their judgement, especially my 22 year old son. I tend to think with my heart rather than my head, so if my kids don't like a man I am dating, it probably won't last very long. My kids keep me from floating off into outer space. | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 5:11:41 PM | Four years being single, but yet you seen people between. your kids aren't likeing anyone you see.
Easy set aside some daddy time to your self and dating. Don't add your kids in it. If you want someone to meet the kids then have bbques with a few new people over, and not tell them one of them is someone you like. Let them get to like her first, then ask them if they want to go out to eat with that person. After a few times of that, and them getting to have fun. The will get use to her around, and then it wont be a proublem. Just a thought. | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 5:30:01 PM | First of all, you should not be introducing your children to a girlfriend unless you are pretty serious about her. They have already had to deal with the problem of losing their full-time Dad because of the divorce. Are you introducing different women to them all the time? You need to focus on providing as much consistency and stability in their lives as possible. Perhaps they are afraid she will disappear from their lives after they bond with her.
When you become serious about someone, introduce her to your children and let them know that she is special to you and a part of your life. They may not like it, but they will eventually accept her. (I am assuming you would not be with someone that would mistreat your children.)
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 6:41:27 PM | | I had this very same problem with my daughters. You to get them to understand that you are not going to love them any less. Plus kids are veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy controlling more so than we like to believe. I finally had to take my kids to family counselling so they could understand that mom deserved a life to. The counsellor suggested that I eze the kids into any new relationship that I would get involved in. And make sure that you make quality time for the kids and not just quantity time. Anyway good luck and hope you find happiness | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 9:05:22 PM | | ive had that experiance ,my kids hate the girl my ex is dating ,and they have disliked some of the guys i dated and liked some of them but i didnt .so in my opinion it has to be something that the people have done to put the children off ,kids are very perceptive and they probaly have good reasons why they dont like the person u r dating ,they just dont know how to express it . u should listen to the kids and try to ease them into the new love interest not force them into it .thier happiness is the top priority . thats life dating as a single parent it sux but we gotta do what we gotta do | |
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/31/2006 9:15:32 PM | motoguy45
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 1
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What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 5/30/2006 9 24 PM
HI, here is a question.. What do you do when your two younger children 7 and 9 (boys) tell you that they dont like the girl your seeing and don t want me to have a girlfriend. Divorced for 4 years. My children have a big impact in my life. So i m single again.. any ideas? this is on going with the few girl friends i have had...when i ask them why? all they can say is they don t like her...thats it...is this a game to them?
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I think you should sit down with your kids and tell them that what you had with there mom is now very over. I think the kids are more in the hope that you will get back together again.
I am a single father myself, and I know that if this would happen with me...I am not sure just how I would deal with it. I think I would try to tell the kids that...dad needs love to and that you see this person as maybe the right one. The fact is for every answer there is 2 or more questions that come with it.....so what is the right way to deal with this...I really do not know. Maybe talk to a person that deals with kids all the time. Good Luck No matter what its never easy....and I fear I might have this problem to if and when I ever find someone of my own.....so far its been a huge failure...big time.
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| What to do when your kids don't like your girl friend?
Posted: 6/3/2006 12:19:13 PM | | hi how are u yes sometimes it is agame to kids but the most inportnat thing is when u find some one it always takes time for kids to execpt it and some times the kids just don;t under stand i have been raising my child by myself forthe last 13 years and she has not liked all my boy friends but there has been the odd one that she has liked sometimes it just takes time kids know who is good an who is not they have that sence an other times if kids know that if they don;t like the person an u are willing to get rid of the situation they will play on it kids are smart any way good luck | |
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