| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 6/10/2006 9:13:43 PM | Anyone that is single has the right to be on POF....
Hopefully, they are honest.........and know if they really have time to devote to dating.... to developing an actual relationship.......... | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/14/2007 6:28:03 PM | Children have to be shown the way no matter who's kids they are, and how many there are. People don't realize that, when they do not value the children then what kind of people are we going to create for the future? It is from us that the children learn, and If I was to treat another's child any less than mine, what would that be teaching that young impressionable mind? that because you are not blood you are worth less? That is total garbage. I would imagine that anyone who did not want to be with me because I have 2 beautiful children, would not have enough intelligence to keep my attention anyway, sad thing is, I don't think I am all that smart either, so what would that say about them  | |
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Posted: 2/14/2007 6:50:13 PM | Some men are hesitant about women with kids (and vice versa) yes. I can understand why because I am open minded, but what is frustrating is the lack of open mindedness in return.
As for the number of kids point...
My personal experience and observations on POF are that men (if accepting of children), are only that of one or two. If you have >3, different fathers are then 'implied' and there is a lack of interest. 
I have been alone for over 3 years putting my children first, and always will. I work hard at home and school and because of that don't get an opportunity to meet people as easy.
I have every right to be here as a single parent 
POF is for singles......(it's just that some of us come in schools!  )
Good luck on your search!
P.S. Sorry to be yet another gal to nick that different father theory, but my 3 all share the same daddy  | |
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Posted: 2/14/2007 7:38:32 PM | i don't hear from the men that aren't open to a woman raising her children without their/a father.......kinda works for me.....and them i suppose too...
i can't separate the two....and have no desire to....kinda easy for me...my kids are me in kind...and that's just all... | |
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Posted: 2/15/2007 1:15:25 PM | I agree....People "should" be honest if they have children or not, Like I have 4 kids....Now THEY have a father, thats not what us women are looking for. We like anyone who doesnt have kids is just looking for a mate, friend, lover, whatever.  | |
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Posted: 2/15/2007 4:12:18 PM | Your question is "is it wrong to be on POF if you have children" NO.
People are aloud to put in their profile that they dont want to date someone with kids that is fine. That makes me respect them more because of the fact they were honest about it rather then start dating that person and get attached and then find out they wont like my child.
It is the same there are some people on here that if you look at their profile it says that they do not want someone who does drugs, well someone who does could consider that to be rude or what not. It is about prefrence and that is the whole point about a profle.
I am sorry but if I were to have 5, 6 god even 10 kids I will let you know and if you dont like the idea then that is fine but be honest with me right from the start that you dont like it and I will respect you, but if you lead into something and sound intrested and get me interested and then tell me then there is a problem because then you wernt honest with me and without honesty there is no relationship just like if there is no trust then there is no relationship. | |
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Posted: 2/15/2007 4:38:26 PM | sounds like just the usual negative stuff about single parents....
credit should be given to all parents single or not.... | |
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Posted: 2/16/2007 10:16:12 AM | Well my needs and desires to have friends, dates of the opposite sex. The need to have fun, have sex, feel human. DID not shut off just because I had kids!
It's stupid to think that once u have kids you are out of the dating market.
I have no problem telling people/ guys I have kids. They dont' like they can keep walking, no skin off my nose!
I dont' believe in tryin gto hide that fact... it's like trying to hide a third arm!! Eventually it will be noticed!
The over generalization that the women on pof have 4/5 kids is just one persons ****in about a bad experieince he had.
Ignore him!
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Posted: 2/16/2007 10:45:46 AM | I AM A PROUD MOTHER OF TWO FINE YOUNG COLLEGE SON'S WHO WERE PLAYING T-BALL YESTERDAY WELL THATS HOW IT FEELS TO ME!! LOVED EVERY MIN OF BEING MUMMY TO MOM AND NOW HOT LOOKING MOTHER lol thats what tell me and so does there college friends lol
my sons are who i have become today passion for life with caring to all mankind children gives you that soft space to land always
so for the men out there that dont understand MOVE ON YOU ARE MISSING OUT | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 8:17:10 AM | I agree. I am 35 and I have one 8yr old son. I am not looking for a father for him. I am on here for me.
Also, many women have the mentality that, oh its so nice of a guy to accept me and my child.
I don't look at it that way. I say hey he's lucky to be getting me and my child. That should be our mindset. Not thanks for taking on this burden but hey it's a priviledge to have us both. I never look at my being a single parent as a burden to someone. My son's a well behaved southern sweetheart like his mom.
If I meet a guy with a child, I find it a priviledge to meet him and his child/children and possibly have them in my life. Too many people look at children as liabilities or like furniture thats in the way. That's how the elderly get treated to. It's just a thought process people have adopted. As for me, I say wow what an opportunity.
Just wanted to say that I agree with what you posted. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:33:34 AM | Most of the folks here on POF have children. Two things might be happening here.
When you scroll through a profile and see "does not want children," there's a murky message -- do they mean completely childless or do they mean existing kids are OK, but I don't want to make *new* kidlets? Hm. Hard to tell. I just put down Open/Unsure and leave it at that.
Then there's what I'll call "The Canadian Problem." If you become involved with a person who has children, and subsequently break up, you can still be legally on the hook for child support for kids that aren't even yours. I think that's a BIG issue for folks in the provinces. Not so much in the States. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 9:41:22 AM | | I think that most parents, regardless of age are responsible people (or well on their way) I see a profile of a mom and it does not bother me in the least....I have other specs- but that just does not register- I think where some of the fear comes from though is the whole adopt a family ideology! Plus- not everyone is into Children. There are many factors- but personally, when I see a profile I look for does she want more Children (hopefully- I'm not done yet- if I can help it!!! Another thing I look for is do they have children becuse I am particular about what I want my Children to be exposed to- I want the best- no settling (for them) and people may shy away from not knowing another parent's style- it may not be compatible. Anyway- that is my thought on that and I do think there is lots of hope for all us single / separated parents on POF and elsewhere- keep the hope and don't settle just because 'someone' will have you- it's really about your Children and what is best for them! A good partner who treats you as well as them is a great start.... | |
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RedZee
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Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 11:22:45 AM | LOL I'm one of the ones he was talkin about too. I've got two sons and one on the way................man you should see them run when they hear that!!  I'm up front about it and tell them right off the get go.....then wow, it's like watching the nascar races after that!! Ya it kinda pisses me off cuz on my profile I put that I'm only looking for friends, not even someone to date.........but whatever, it's their loss  | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 11:46:07 AM | [All parents are very proud of their children.]
I wish this were true, but my child's mother doesn't even want her around. She's insanely jealous of her own child. How do you keep that kind of thing from hurting the child? | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 12:27:48 PM | | I don't see anything wrong with being a single mother and looking for someone to fulfill your life as well. I am a single mother of a 17 year old and a 15 year old. I have devoted my life to raising them and quite frankly it's time for me. They are dating and leaving me home alone and so why shouldn't I have someone in my life as well. The trick is to find a nice guy who isn't afraid of being with someone with kids. I am NOT looking for a daddy for them, I'm looking for a man for me! | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 2:16:44 PM | I'm a single mother. There is nothing wrong what so ever in being a single parents. Just as there's nothing what in being a non-parent. It's all about respect. I respect men who prefer not to get involved with a single mom. It's a choice they make. I can not fault them for feeling that way. Nor can they fault me for being a single mom, though some do at times.
I'm not looking for a daddy for my children. I'm looking for man for myself. If things work out then he gets a bigger package. If not then no harm done.
It's sad that some men out there shy away from the single mothers out there. They have no idea of the depth and vastness of the love we are capable of, the love that our children opened our hearts to. I'm not saying those without children love any less just different than those with.
The way I see it and there are a few of you that may not agree with me. But I am a better person because of my children. And when a man comes along that will love me and my children then he too will be a better person. We have no choice in it. Children do that to people, they bring out the best. Just think that if we could love like a child does then imagine what kind of world we would live in.... | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/17/2007 6:10:19 PM | What... You need to ask this? Of course not.
I may be wrong, but I think some of you may be a little self concious about having 3 or more children. Ever think that maybe some men prefer women with children? They may have some too.
I grew up in a large family (8 kids), then mom met Rolly who had a few of his own. Sunday dinner was a Blast!! But camping was the best with five little ones jostling for position on the fishing doc, the older boys burning stuff in the firepit, and the girls complaining that we're blocking the sun.
The more the merrier I say.
I'm here for a long time AND a good time. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:38:23 AM | There are people out there that feel that once you become a parent, you have no life outside of your children.
I think that's a load of crap. There is balance in everything, and your children need to see that they too can have a healthy balance between home, work and personal life.
My children are pretty ok with the idea of me dating, (my daughter actually encourages it) but I make sure that my personal life doesn't come at their expense, either. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 2/18/2007 10:21:53 AM | | No I don't think its wrong to have children and be on POF. I am a single parent. I have a wonderful 4 year old son. I love him very much and he comes first and foremost in my life. I know that its not fair but there are some men who can't handle a woman with children. Its their loss. Because they haven't learned that you don't judge a book by its cover. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:56:27 AM | | hi, dont worry its not wrong to be on pof if you have children i have children but for me it seems right just as other places people meet even supermarkets so dont worry morris52 uk | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:39:00 PM | I think being a single mom is awesome - I hope to find a man that can truly appreciate the balance, patience, stability, perserverence, loyalty, creativity, and just plain joy I have in my life due to the fact that I am a single mom. If all a man sees is my children as a number to screen me with, then he has really missed a lot! Wouldn't trade these 2 for anything...  | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:26:56 AM | asking why is it some women should all have 3-4 children?
I too am a little confuse about your statement...
Are you stating that he feels a woman that has that many children is not a good choice to date?
From a man’s point of view I guess that would depend if he/she is a single parent or not. But for me, a partner who I wanted to date that had children is a positive trait, not a negative one. The relationships that she/he has with other people tell me a lot about this person. More so with their own children. With that stated, being a single parent just give me a opportunity to understand them better. Still I would date someone that had children or didn’t have them. People have children for many reason, so it is with us that don’t. One shouldn’t label anyone simple on the fact that she/he had a child or not. It’s the person you are interested in, not their children. | |
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