| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:24:53 AM | | Ummm, funny, I think the ones who are judged more harshly is the over thirty no kids never married. It seems on this site your only worth something if you have kids and have been divorced. To each their own I guess. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:11:47 PM | | Well I've been on POF now for about 6 months. And i've sent plenty of emails out to different people and have had no luck find anyone. I believe being 27 year old single father may have something to do with that. Either that or i'm just really unattractive....... lol | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:35:12 PM | Hi everyone this is my first time in the forums, I have belonged to POF for about three months, and I too think that being in my twenties(29) gets me over-looked in the dating world (well that and possibly my looks) because of being a single father. My daughter is only 10 months old and lives with me 95% of the time. One of my friends had told me it could be for 2 main reason and I'd like to know what ya'll think. She said: That women around my age that do not have kids feel as though (especially with a baby ) that the guy would somehow put alot of the "baby" or kid duties off on them and that they would feel like their tied down. As for the women who have kids they want a man to kinda play the daddy role to their children, but if he has a child also, then she would be afraid that he might play favortism toward his child, or just treat her children not as well ( sort of speak). She also said that alot of women in the thirties that are single are either looking for a (boy toy) or someone older that is much more established. And well in a way I can see a woman's point if she thinks this way, Its just unfortunite for us.... What is your opinoin? and Thank you.  | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:46:45 PM |
As for the women who have kids they want a man to kinda play the daddy role to their children, but if he has a child also, then she would be afraid that he might play favortism toward his child, or just treat her children not as well ( sort of speak).
Personally, none of that would not be my concern. I would expect you to treat my child with respect, and not any better or worse than you treat yoru own child, just as I would do the same and not all women (me included) need a dad for our kids. They already have one. A step dad, ok.
As far as women in their thiirties with no children ( I assume that is what you meant by single) some might just be looking for a good time, and some are looking for men without children but I am sure there are some as well that would accept a ready made family.
You just have to be patient and choose someone that is a good fit for you AND your daughter! | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:52:32 AM | This is a subject that always interest me! i am one of those single mums with 3 kids does that make me a bad choice? god i hope not but do reliese this is a reason alot of men do not contact me i have to respect that but after a while it is upsetting i think im a good catch :O) but i happen to have kids, 3 fantastic kids i might add i just happened to have a failed 17 yrs relationship.....
A guy once asked me if my kids were all from the same guy or different fathers he was lucky he didnt get a slap! Mine do all have the same dad but for all different reasons this is not always the case!
Come on guys give us a chance you might be pleansantly surprised unless you really do not like kids of course... | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:37:24 AM | | This subject has always interested me too! I am a single parent with two boys who are fantastic, there good company,there funny,there loving and without a doubt the best thing that i ever did. in the past i have been talking to someone and when kids were mentioned they shut there screen of. well i think thats shallow but who cares. I'm actually looking 4 someone who has kids cos if they don't they might want some in the future and carrying children doesn't agree with me and neither does getting up in the middle of the night. people do have there reasons so i don't take it personally. And if someones reached 30 - 35 why haven't they had kids? whats wrong with them? | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:47:19 AM | Excuse me Angel but not all of us had your good fortune in finding someone to have kids with and fall in love with. There's nothing wrong with over 35 not having kids yet. I will be having some on my own starting shortly as I did not have your great fortune in having them with someone like you did. So I have to do it another way. Some of us did not find the right person like you did. So don't asssume that there is something wrong with other people because we were not as lucky as you were. You don't want to be judged so don't make assumptions on others. UNDERSTAND????? | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:45:42 AM | | Some people have children also when they are to young and can't even take care of themselves. They should be an age by law to have children or at least a parenting course that teaches how to take care of children and how to feed them properly. Who usually takes care of these children the grandparents do which is not right either. You have children you take care of them don't expect your parents to take care of them. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:19:03 AM | No, it isn't wrong. But, IMO, their pictures shouldn't be posted, and, they shouldn't meet someone you're dating until it's very serious.
I understand a person may be proud of their children, but posting their pics on a dating site makes it seem like they're being used as a 'prop'. It's also the internet, no telling how many sickos are checking your profile, see the pics and end up trying to get close to you to get to your children. You also don't want your children meeting various men who come and go from your life, and theirs.
My two cent | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:53:56 PM | | suziebabe I do have alot to say on the subject because it is true, the problem is with people they hate to hear the truth plain and simple. If people can't take care of themselves and don't even know how to feed themselves why should they even have children. Children deserve the best care possible and it is everyone responsibility to make sure this happens even if it means the government and other people have to get involved. My say might be offensive but it is rather true that is some of you peoples problems. But I do admit they are alot of good parents out there but they are alot of bad also. Also I should have mentioned like other people did this is not a site to post childrens pictures on this is a site for dating and meeting people and not for children pictures. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:17:37 PM | | I'm at the point where I just want to give up on dating myself. I have an 18 month old son and another son due in early sept. A guy will think I'm so great and wonderful but when they hear I'm pregnant they run off or have some lame eccuse! That's why I took off on my profile that I am pregnant b/c I get judged b4 I can even give my story! | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:24:02 PM |
I have seen some people posting on PoF that do not like children. Period. Avoid them.
These people are very lucky that their parents did not share their same views! | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:50:11 PM | I personally am a divorced mother of three children, 24/7. When we married and decided to start a family I did not have in the back of my head, limit the number of children incase we divorce. No! I had taken my vows seriously and planned to be married till death do us part. Yes it is difficult to date again with children but when the right person comes along they will not mind that you have children. Single parents are people who need love, companionship and relationships just like those who do not have children, we just have to work a it a little harder.
One other thing to look at and see is that single parents should be seen as having great strengh, being stable and patient to say the least. In a marriage or for people who do not have children yet, you wount fully understand what single parents do in a day. Think about working 24/7 for a minimum of 20 years (average time a child is home) with no vacations, no overtime and no coworkers to help minimize the workload. Oh and no pay! Now you tell me who has the strengh, stability and patience? | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:44:25 PM | [/Also Angel smokes also but that seems to be normal with alot of people with children, I just feel bad for these poor children with smoking parents.]
You're kidding me, right, lovesex? I don't smoke, but I don't see what that could POSSIBLY have to do with a persons ability to be an adequate parent? Maybe you should learn to think before you type.... | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/8/2008 1:20:20 AM | | rootabagga i agree totaly with your views! For me personly i have grow to be a stronger and more confident person since my marrige failed and like you did not even consider while having my family that one day i could be single and having children might be an issue.... But i do believe there are men out there who will look past all that if they want to be with you good luck to all you lovely ladys with kids or not!!! | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:51:58 AM | Ladies can i post my views on dating single moms!!
Things that I think show a bad judgment on any body's part.
1) Any divorce within 5 yrs is a big turn off.
2) 2 or more kids and not married...
3) worst of all (trust me i have seen this ).. having kids and not being responsible about the kids
KC | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:13:55 AM | Edit for above. =P
1- Oh damn, I've only been divorced for 4 years.
2-Damn again, I have three kids and I'm not married.
3-I may be irresponsible at times, but never when it comes to my children.
In one's thirties and no kids? Smoking parents? Grandparents? Children used as props in pics?
Only the kid pics is the least bit relevant in this discussion. Even that is a personal choice that many are vehemently opposed to. I have a pic of my daughter and I on my birthday that is a good pic of both of us, and just us as opposed to the whole brood. It's sure as he11 not there as a prop, fwiw.
All this other fluff and nonsense aside, the topic remains of whether a single parent is "wrong" for belonging to POF. For many, POF is *not* a hookup site, but rather camaraderie, entertainment, support, etc.
The sweeping generalizations and mean spirited comments about any particular group should be ignored. Unfortunately a free site can't police this behavior as well as a pay site can, so we are taxed with the responsibility of doing it ourselves. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:15:55 AM | You're kidding me, right, lovesex? I don't smoke, but I don't see what that could POSSIBLY have to do with a persons ability to be an adequate parent? Maybe you should learn to think before you type....
Sorry Lori but I think it does have something to do with being a good parent or bad parent. Smoking and second hand smoke plain and simple is dangerous which has been proven also. So any parent that either smokes in the car or the house with a child is harming a child, even the chemicals on a smokers clothing harms also believe that or not. I myself have problems breathing because I was with a smoking parent since I was a baby my parent does not smoke anymore either and nobody in the family either. Now I am an adult and I don't allow any smoking in my car or even my property because I don't want these uncaring smokers around me anymore. In Ontario they have banned smoking in cars with children and will eventually ban it from homes, this should have all been done years ago because of some inconsiderate smoking parents that don't care about their childs health. Some people will say the government does not have the right to do this sorry to tell you any harm done to a child in any way they do and so do other people have the right to make sure children are being taken care of properly. Alot of people might not like me for this but at least it's the truth which people always hate to hear of course. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:49:31 AM | The reality (pardon the pun) is that people change. Some for the better, others not. Some people get married or divorced for the wrong reasons, others have the best of intentions. There are no absolutes in life or affairs of the heart. To compartmentalize every life situation is futile, it's not for me to judge or cast aspersions with respect to anothers character or experiences.
Besides, none of the above is relevant to the topic. | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:07:54 AM | exactly true.. but ... haveing made bad judgements increasing the chance that you will change in future..
Unfortunatley people dont tend to learn from their mistakes!! | |
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| Is it wrong to be on POF if you have children?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:25:26 AM | Ya, if a man looks past you because you have kids, then dont worry about it because he isn't worth the paper that you put your profile on. thats my opionion and im sticking to it. lol | |
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