| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:34:11 PM | LOL Well I did have that I was looking for someone who wanted was adventurous and wanted to try new things at least once, more if she liked it... I changed it when I sent someone an email on POF and she wrote back that my profile was "disturbing"...LOL I figured I would tone it down just a tad... That is when I thought about askinig here what people thought.. It is a very fine line that you have to walk when trying to attract women and not scare them off. I did discover that telling exactly what you are looking for in your profile is not a good thing, unless you are Joe Normal Citizen looking for Harriet Nelson types.. As a very wise woman on POF whom I respect told me, you have to be careful not to scare off the "Vanilla women"... Lets face it I have only come across a few of the Freaky Friends that are so cool on these dating sites...
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:46:37 PM | Some things you can selectively bring up, maybe in a playful or flirtatious way... but others you might do better not bringing up in conversation...
I'm pretty freaking... I'm also very creative about incorporating what ever I into in broader sex play... Alot of women might be turned of or disgusted by something they may actually like... take for instance getting a rim job or having her toes sucked.
not the kinds of things I would bring up in general discussion.... But in the context of a full body massage with lets say strawberry kiwi massage oil she might be ok with it or find she even likes it...
Moral of the story... some things are better left unsaid... you might have to contain your own anticipation or anxiety about whatever you are into .
Good luck... And remember sex should be fun   | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:08:08 PM | | I'm a very sexual person. As such when I was chatted for the purpose of meeting I would mention it before meeting. There just no point in me meeting a lady that isn't sexual. I raise the subject and let her guide the conversation after that so we stay within her comfort level. I've chatted with alot of women and not once has a lady had a problem with discussing the subject. Be honest and straight forward. It's never failed. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:19:12 PM | OP, There are numerous ways to bring up preferences, though bringing them up immediately upon talking or meeting isn't a good idea. ;) Besides finding out some pretty interesting information through these forums ;) I'd say once the two people are comfortable with each other it's something that kind of comes up...maybe not very explicitly, though that can happen, lol. If they're waiting to have sex before becoming exclusive, then it's just another thing that can be talked about during the discussions leading up to that time, along with sexual health and history. If they don't wait that long, then it makes for some good pillow talk.
Msg 6 - As an older woman ;) I can say that preferences definitely don't get fixed for all older women. Actually, based on experience and listening to other older women, we women tend to get more uninhibited and adventurous. I believe there are always going to be some things that a person isn't willing to try, things that they've never had an interest in and never will; but I also believe that anyone with a healthy outlook about sex and their body, who cares about not only pleasing themself but also their partner, will be more open to trying something new, being uninhibited, and being able to tell their partner their likes and dislikes. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 4:27:01 PM | | Don't discuss these things at all. I say surprise her. Surprises make sex exciting. She may become very turned when she walks in the bedroom and finds you dressed up as Little Bo Peep. And if she runs, that's what the long stick with the hook on the end is for. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 5:11:43 PM | | I always discuss it right away before I even decide if he's worth having a second conversation with. If you wait too long and then get attached to them and find out they are a freak or perhaps you are the freak of the two...then it can be a huge waste of time for all parties involved. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:41:50 PM | | Hey evil, judging by what I read in most your posts, I think you're a really open sexual guy. Personally I think you'd know it if a woman came along who was really into sex and was willing to experiment. The topic would come up soon, and not be awkward at all. If discussing sex seems odd with the woman, she probably wouldn't be someone you'd really be able to "click" with anyway. That's just my opinion. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:54:32 PM |
Hey evil, judging by what I read in most your posts, I think you're a really open sexual guy. Personally I think you'd know it if a woman came along who was really into sex and was willing to experiment. The topic would come up soon, and not be awkward at all. If discussing sex seems odd with the woman, she probably wouldn't be someone you'd really be able to "click" with anyway. That's just my opinion.
Well, I didn't used to be. That's how I ended up with so many women who were either just not into sex much, or definitely not into anything that might be considered non-standard sex. So I guess you could say, I have learned the hard way... So now, I look at it this way... Even if the woman is perfect in every other thing, if she is not compatible sexually, then she is NOT compatible at all. I am not saying sex should be the only thing considered in a relationship, but it should carry one heck of a lot of importance.
As for being an open sexual guy...hey life is too short to be repressed. I want to try everything at least once..and if I like it, a lot more. I do not judge a woman by her past, but I do judge her on how open she might be to trying new things... Now that to me is important... LOL So many Fetishes, perversions and lifestyles, so little time...     
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 8:09:14 PM | | I honestly think that the moment you decide to get naked together you should express your wants and desires - why make sex difficult - it's to be enjoyed fully - so communicate your preferences and take yourself to heaven each time you connect! | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 8:46:49 PM | | I was always more comfortable waiting until the relationship was deemed exclusive and sex was obviously going to happen. That didn't always work well for me. It just seemed that each time I waited to have the discussion about physical intimacy ~ he was much too prudish for me. What a let down that was. Twice that happened. I now know that if I meet someone datable for me ~ that conversation needs to happen much sooner than later. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/1/2006 8:52:45 PM | There has to be at least some level of openness and lack of shame... otherwise I won't even be interested to the point of getting further..
I'm can be very outgoing and upfront to the point some people freak out... it's just me... but I need to know whomever I am with is the same. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/2/2006 5:23:34 PM | You DON"T discuss it. At each and every sexual encounter, you just try something new. Spring it on her - or gently try to pursuade her.
Then, if it she doesn't go for it, you can discuss it over a smoke after.
A lot of us don't like to talk about it, but in the heat of the moment, you never know WHAT might happen! | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/2/2006 6:03:54 PM |
what happens if she tells you she is NOT interested in trying anything new... Then you are in a dilemma, if you end the relationship, suddenly you are one of the scumbags who just wanted sex and “after you got it, you left her”… Not a good situation. To me, it should be done way before any actual sexual acts happen, that way, the woman will not feel abused when you find out she is not what you want and end things
You can also flip the she for HE... Not all guys are "adventurous" and springing new things on them doesn't always go as planned!! Have the conversation when you know there is definite sexual attraction/tension there!! | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/2/2006 8:31:38 PM |
And how many of you have had budding relationships stop when you tried to bring up how a person feels about sex, and if they would be open to anything beyond the standard missionary position?
You would have to be a guy to ask that question. You talk too much. You should be whispering in her ear and putting those thoughts there. Why don't you just throw a bag of ice on her and call it good. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/2/2006 11:18:07 PM | I'll try anything once.... twice if it didn't hurt the first time...
I find it hard to "discuss" sex before you actually HAVE SEX... if you do then there are too many expectations. So far everyone has enjoyed the dungeon out in my barn... of course there was that one guy, he didn't like the electric cattle prog very much, spoil sport!! | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/3/2006 12:08:17 AM | | If things are so awkward that you actually have to DISCUSS sexual preferences, rather than EXPLORE them, maybe you shouldnt be involved to begin with. Its all about chemistry, man. | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/3/2006 2:28:04 AM | ohhh a pamphlet, good idea, mines gonna come (hah no pun intended) with a road map too!
I kinda enjoy the sexual preference talk. Before you're intimate its fun because you get a feel for what the person is into , what they've done , what they'd like to try. Hopefully it means your compatable but sometimes they open your eyes to new and fun things!
I find in my relationships anyway , a fair bit of talk happens before the down and dirty action does! | |
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| How soon do you discuss sexual preferences????
Posted: 6/17/2007 8:46:15 AM | | Hopefully not after months into a relationship that heats up quickly and numerous attempts to get it right. This might be one reason why meeting for a cup of coffee no longer holds any appeal for me. | |
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