| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:22:05 AM | really good questions.
i don't like the word persue tho so i'm going to use shopping instead hehe.
online dating to me has been like shopping for men, u see numerous things that u could never afford and u settle for the cheaper bargain.
if u want something u have to put work into gettin it, regardless of what it is. however especially for women the degree to which we actively persue men can make us appear desperate. i often wonder about asking someone to meet or even emailing someone and think oh my this makes me sound desperate. when looking for someone u have to take risks and if coming off desperate to guys is one of them then i say bring it on. there is a fine line between being desperate and being bold that i am still trying very hard to not cross. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/6/2006 2:56:01 PM | In the world before POF et al, it was pretty much 1 person at a time.
Now with POF, it's like our jobs...we have to multi-task.
I'd ideally like to stick with one woman and see if there's a connection.
Realistically? I think everyone has a pole or 3 in the water until they feel the right 'connect'.
As for the emailing/persuing...I email or chat or call as much or as little as prospective 'match' would like to hear from me, or vice versa. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/6/2006 5:14:31 PM |
...online dating to me has been like shopping for men, u see numerous things that u could never afford and u settle for the cheaper bargain.
if you're "settling" for ANYTHING, let alone a "cheaper bargain", you're not doing the guy any favours.
don't even bother dating him... all you're doing is waiting for something better to come along.
*sheesh*
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/6/2006 5:35:09 PM | I can't say I'm chatting it up with anyone these days... I think I've put my best foot forward and contacted several people that I've been interested in but it really has to go both ways. Being passive in this type of medium just doesn't work whether you're male or female.
I just wish I would get an email one day from a great guy who might be willing to put a little effort into getting to know me and actually meeting! That might seem like a pretty simple wish, but I guess I'm just a simple girl who's looking for someone genuine, someone who doesn't need the attention of ten... If you find the right person, their affection and attention will be all that you need and vice versa!
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:01:49 PM | | we all want the best, theres always room for improvement. if i sat around and waited for what i wanted well then heck i would never be around men because what i want doesn't exist (or is extremely uncommon). nothing is wrong with settlin for something til u get something better, guys do it all the time. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:27:34 PM | i guess you are kidding yourself if you don't believe in what you are doing here. i think for some people this works, others it doesn't. i've been on here a month and a half, been to two parties, and i know that i have discovered a lot about what i am about here; who i am and what i want.
i've traditionally been a shy guy, but i have no problem writing emails. i even find them to be fun to write; reaching out to people and finding out who they are and what they are about. pretty neat stuff.
not everyone is a potential mate for me. i've sent out emails to people because of what they have said in forums, or something that caught my attention in their profile. some of my best friends i have met through the internet, so that element doesn't frighten me. i'm more self conscious about looks, because i feel that although a lot of people say looks don't matter, they do tend to, and i don't even closely resemble brad pitt or george clooney.
so, i'll keep plugging on here, making friends, and if (when??) something clicks with someone, then ....yay!
but just for the record not all guys settle until something better comes along. i was there once and don't intend to do it again. that was a nightmare! | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:00:26 PM | ARE we just kidding ourselves? Maybe some do, but I feel that we are all searching for the "right one" and the only way we are going to know the right one is if we get out there and search. When we talk and meet so many, and things do not work out, it is because we know that we have not found what we are truely looking for. Others words, is that we are not settling for someone that we know we will not be happy with, like we may have done in the past. We are wizer. All the power to the folks that do not settle for less, and to settle for less only because it is convenient, or scarred, or for any other reasons that hold us back, can be so devestating in the long run.
For me, I am fairly new here and I have left messages and a couple of emails. Only two have responded back. Most just "READ" but no comment back. As for saying that the girls should take the first step.......what happened to the fellas taking the second step?
This does not make me gun shy. I know it was not meant to be. And I know at some point in my life...............my soul mate will appear. I know it will be worth the wait.
Good luck to all. Happy  | |
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