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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?      Home login  
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 drugstorecowboy
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 51
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Sure i understand lady your reasons why but as i said we're not all like that, I was with a girl that i loved and i left her because of what i was doing and what it was doing to our realtionship and avoided relationships while in that state so that i would never hurt anyone...

"Your Honour I rest my Case..."

Drugstorecowboy June 06
 lady_502
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 52
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/5/2006 11:24:35 AM
you sound like your doing great cowboy, and i think its commendable that you chose to leave a relationship rather than hurt someone, have you considered being a counselor to kids in trouble? you could share how youve turned your life around.
 drugstorecowboy
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 53
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/5/2006 11:34:05 AM
Thanks Lady 502, im pretty lucky in a sense

being a student teacher part of my job is to council others when they need my help, i mean we have support workers that can do that but i usually give them some advice and guidence of my own depending on the type of problem they have

teaching gives me the opportunity to make a difference to peoples lives, currently i work with special needs and adults

dont like the paperwork side of it but i really enjoy helping those who are less fortuate then myself

you know when i left school i left with nothing
so im lucky to have the opportunity to be able to do all this that i do

"Your honour I rest my case..."

Drugstorecowboy June 2006
 a_vamp
Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 54
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/12/2006 7:20:04 AM
To the OP,

I assume you're referring to "drugs" here?

If the person's been cleaned up for years and is currently leading a very sober life, then yes. I will date him. I will give someone a chance.


AV
 LoboBlack
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 55
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/12/2006 7:47:32 AM
I have and I would. I have respect for the strength is takes to overcome such an obstacle.
 Smily_face
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 56
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/12/2006 7:59:49 AM
NO! My ex had a drinking problem, stopped drinking for 15 years and we were happy but as soon as things werent perfect, instead of working them out, he started drinking again and it was hell.
 ginibin
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 57
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/13/2006 7:50:09 PM
The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. With some exceptions, I'm sure, but an exceptional person is easily seen.

Gini
 confused19
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 58
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/13/2006 8:44:45 PM
Drugstorecowboy,

Absolutely I would. It would be important that he/she really is clean, but for all those saying there is no such thing as an ex junky, you obviously have no experience of AOD rehabilitation.

Im 19, and I've beaten a heroin addiction. It doesn't make me a bad or a weak person; I think a lot of the people that have beaten it have a maturity and strength of purpose that you don't see among their peers. And also, I've found, a much greater appreciation of life and love. For me, once I was clean, it was no barrier to a loving and fulfilling intimate relationship; and in some ways strengthened it.

Most people when they hear junkie think a black, crack mother with 9 babies hanging off her. Its easier to demonise when you ignore the fact that a large proportion (if not a majority) are white and middle class (just like a majority of Americans, you see we're not monsters, we're not "different").

I want to stress, the only barrier that a previous drug addiction puts in front of you is in the minds of the ignorant lumpenmasse.

Its oh so comfortable to be criticising junkies when a fifth of you are shoving ritalin and prozac down your kids throats (and even your own, great role model). That shit rots holes in your brain, but somehow taking a drug (opiates) that are not toxic to living cells, has a long history of safe use, and is known to mitigate pain, is the worst evil imaginable.

Give me a ****ing break. The double standard and the hyprocrisy is rather breathtaking.
 confused19
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 59
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/13/2006 9:07:22 PM
I was going to point out that George Bush Snr was an opium addict following World War 2 (nickname:poppy george); but now that I think about it, ,maybe he's not such a good example to prove my point ;-)
 ginibin
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 60
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:03:23 PM
"Most people when they hear junkie think a black, crack mother with 9 babies hanging off her."

Who is most? we speak for most, now?

Being a person who lived in white middle class MOST of my life, the ONLY junkies I met were white middle class-actually never met or seen the mythical black junkie welfare mama with 9 babies hanging off of her. I, then, of course, like MOST of the white middle class people I know, associate the term *junkie* with white middle class. Funny how that works.

You're 19? exciting. Bucko, when you've been clean ten times as long as you've been not clean, we'll talk. If you don't want people being all 'tude on you, don't 'tude us before we even get the chance to talk. It's not like I lived in a closet all my 38 years, I think I experienced a thing or two, including watching ex-junkies (white middle class) go back to the junk when times got tough. My friend stayed clean 15 years, then a doc gave her oxycontin for her shoulder and that was all she wrote. My step-father has stayed sober for 25, it looks good at this point. There are exceptions, you may be one, I hope so.

I do know this, anger, blame, and the *everybody is accountable but me -yer all a bunch of loser hypocrits!* attitude is the path to failure.

Stop and smell the roses and realize that a chip on your shoulder does not equal maturity.

Gini
 confused19
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 61
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:46:26 PM
3 years out of 19 years, I guess thats longer clean than not.

My point is that there is a huge double standard. Americans won't go out with an ex-junkie, but you will elect one President. Great logic there.

You might have a decent attitude towards drug addicts, but most don't. In fact, their attitude stinks when they are gobbling ritalin and prozac and oxycontin, and yet somehow that does not equate with being a drug addict. Again, I'm not saying this is you, but it is a large proportion (35% of adults on prescribed psychotropics, 15% of kids). The hypocrisy is extremely exasperating because most people will live their lives in ignorance.

I would say exactly the same thing, (maybe not to you, but it is a majority considering the way public policy is implemented), wake up and smell the roses. You are turning your kids into drug addicts, but somehow that's ok, because its from big pharma.

Of course no one will admit any responsiblity (I admit, its mine too) for the fact this happens, but it does, and the fact that it is happening means that peeps aren't doing enough.

But I'm getting off topic, I would date an ex drug addict. I'm not saying that I would date all of them, but as a principle, I wouldn't write off a person just because of that past. ANd again, my personal experience, completeley anecdotal, the ones that get off tend to have those qualities that I mentioned above, the troubled ones unfortunately often do not get off, and end up 40 and toothless.

Re: 'tude, or whatever you call it, yes I realise that its bad to be passionate about something like this, I'm bad that I pointed out the mass hypocrisy. Go back to sleep folks, nothing to see here
 confused19
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 62
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:46:36 PM
3 years out of 19 years, I guess thats longer clean than not.

My point is that there is a huge double standard. Americans won't go out with an ex-junkie, but you will elect one President. Great logic there.

You might have a decent attitude towards drug addicts, but most don't. In fact, their attitude stinks when they are gobbling ritalin and prozac and oxycontin, and yet somehow that does not equate with being a drug addict. Again, I'm not saying this is you, but it is a large proportion (35% of adults on prescribed psychotropics, 15% of kids). The hypocrisy is extremely exasperating because most people will live their lives in ignorance.

I would say exactly the same thing, (maybe not to you, but it is a majority considering the way public policy is implemented), wake up and smell the roses. You are turning your kids into drug addicts, but somehow that's ok, because its from big pharma.

Of course no one will admit any responsiblity (I admit, its mine too) for the fact this happens, but it does, and the fact that it is happening means that peeps aren't doing enough.

But I'm getting off topic, I would date an ex drug addict. I'm not saying that I would date all of them, but as a principle, I wouldn't write off a person just because of that past. ANd again, my personal experience, completeley anecdotal, the ones that get off tend to have those qualities that I mentioned above, the troubled ones unfortunately often do not get off, and end up 40 and toothless.

Re: 'tude, or whatever you call it, yes I realise that its bad to be passionate about something like this, I'm bad that I pointed out the mass hypocrisy. Go back to sleep folks, nothing to see here
 confused19
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 63
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 6/13/2006 11:02:15 PM
I would admit though, you make a good point about talking about other people in isolation. Its true, if you guys are putting your kids on those drugs, then I also have responsibility, I vote, I pay tax, I agree with you there.

I would say though, that being 19, I haven't had that much of a chance to lead by example , I certainly won't be putting my kids, if i have kids, on these drugs and by practicing what I preach, hopefully I can show other people that there are always choices.



I'll concede that though, I was being a wanker. I just find the misplaced sense of superiority that peeps have, of dangerous psychotropics over safer illicit drugs, is hypocritical in the extreme, and very exasperating.
 bulldog1966
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 64
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:53:14 AM
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN EX-JUNKIE. Once a junkie, always a junkie. People go 20 yrs clean, then one day, wham! They're stoned again, and your stereo is missing.
 BeautifulDreams
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 65
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History
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 4:06:12 AM
From my experience a junkie once he is cleaned up.. is no worse than an alcoholic...
Biggest drug problem in America today is not necessarily drugs but alcohol... but both are bad
 dorkykittygurl
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 66
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 4:17:08 AM
I met a guy when he was going through a rehabilitation program. it wasn't easy...we got to see eachother one day every other week. that went on for 6 months so it wasn't like we could get sick of eachother. definitely not the standard courtship. we spent 3 years together and wanted to get married at one point but in all honesty...i think that the problems that he had before his addiction...lead to the drug use. he became a much better person as we dated. he really got his shit together and went back to school and became a flight instructor since he had already had a pilots license.

so i think that anyone planning on dating anyone with any kind of addiction should be a little cautious. most addictive behavior has a catalyst that directed them to their vices. most "well adjusted" people dont decide to do heroin b/c they think it will be a good hobby.

another thing to be cautious about is their health b/c your lovers health directly affects YOUR health. IV drug use can bring a lot of problems to a persons life, like hep c and aids and other bodily fluid transmittable diseases. luckily for me he had been tested so many times due to rehab and by his task officer. their mental health can also be severely affected and from the experience that i went through, it's not always easy to deal with.

i totally believe that people can recover from the disease of addiction but a piece of those people will be forever lost. all in all it's definitely a learning experience and truely made me a stronger person. plus, now i know...NEVER DATE AN EX JUNKIE EVER AGAIN!
 junglemel
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 67
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 4:27:12 AM
Crack Head here. Yes....Once an addict, always an addict. I have to think that way......it keeps me clean. Ignorant people told me I couldnt get clean. I think it is best if a person that is ignorant about addictions not date an addict. Mel
 Harry Peter
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 68
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 4:34:09 AM
I would date a junkie or ex junkie if they're hot.
 bulldog1966
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 69
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 4:51:38 AM
Every addict I've ever met has the same line: Bad stuff happened to me, I was abused, nobody loved me, whatever. Lots of people have had it rough and didn't turn to dope. Bottom line? IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!! My son's mother left us for drugs, when he wasn't quite 4 months old. Didn't see her again for 16 yrs. Losers get high, because they can't handle the fact that they're losers.
 Billbutler8
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 70
view profile
History
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:20:35 AM
likely not as I believe alcohol/drug addiction an external manifestation of a much more deeper psychological problem, or a self medicating coping function of a treatable bio chemical imbalance.

So if the question is would I date a problem substance abuser, merely because she had kicked the physical habit? No, as it is very likely she would at some point get back on the junk.

This is why they say "once a junkie, always a junkie"

If the question is would I date someone who was formerly a junkie, who had identified their underlying problems which caused them to drink or use excessively, (example, biochemical imbalance as in bi polar, treated and maintained on meds.) and has done the work necessary to overcome and maintain treatment of their problems, maybe.

I would definately be checking for STDs before entering into a sexual relationship, as junkies fall into that high risk group.
 mizsass1
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 71
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:56:29 AM
If an ex-junkie has really cleaned up his act...has some recovery time of at least a year or more and truely works the steps I think someone interested should give him a chance.....it's always a tenuious deal with addicts....but they are normally wonderful if they stay clean and work a program
Annie
 Bryantinfl
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 72
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:08:12 AM
The very thought terrifies me.
 ms.belladona
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 73
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:20:31 AM
Depends on how many years they've stayed clean...and what they do to maintain they're sobriety. Recovery is a journey...it never, ever, ever ends....
 beardob580
Joined: 5/30/2004
Msg: 74
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 2:17:36 PM
bulldog1966........
Addiction is a DISEASE..........do you honestly think if people had a CHOICE .......they would leave,lose there own children??.....addicts lose the choice the first time they pick up.Once clean...........they have a choice again..........addicts are not losers......they as i have stated...have a disease......like cancer........and no its not all about them.......but there addiction HAS to come first.......and unless you are an addict......youll never understand......
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 75
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:43:41 PM
I think it depends on the circumstance.

If you met someone before they were a junkie and were with them for a while and they were not junkies, then suddenly had a substance abuse problem, I think thats kind of a complicated situation. If you commit to someone, you commit for better or worse, but then again no one should have to endure more 'worse' than they think they can handle. Thats kind of a unique circumstance though.

If you met someone and they are a preexisting junkie, then I'd say not likely. I'd never rule it out completely because every situation is different. But I'd say its a 99.9 percent chance that most people would walk away. Being a junkie is like being a felon, no one wants to give you another chance and at some level, you can't really blame them.

That being said, someone who has been a junkie for a while might stand a greater chance of having a criminal record. Having a previous criminal history can become very complicated in a relationship. Sure its not always fair, people do foolish things when they are young and it follows them forever, but those kind of situations aren't always worth the trouble when, like someone else said, there are people out there who dont have these complications.
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