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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?      Home login  
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 BeccaAnn
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 76
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I dated a man that was an on again/off again heroin addict. He did try to get clean and at some times actually was clean, but they always have the tendency to fall back into the addiction. Drugs are always their first love, which would make you their second. There fore, even if a person claims that they are clean, I would not date them because anything could set them off and cause them to relapse and I would not want to be held responsbile for that.
 junglemel
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 77
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:17:54 PM
If you decided to date an addict or junkie, I suggest you educate yourself about addictions because addict/junkies are the BEST liars in the world. Unless you know what to look for, you could end up in a bad situation before you know what hit you. People can and do overcome drugs...... but lots dont. Just keep your eyes open and be careful. Dont go there if you are uneducated about it. Mel
 tberry49
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 78
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:43:26 PM
Just because the person is in recovery and is not currently using, doesn't mean that they still don't have an addictive pesonality. I made the mistake of dating someone who was clean for 8 years, but he had many issues in other areas. A person with an addiction has issues that lead to the addiction in the first place. Be very careful when dating someone with a history of addiction. They are the best manipulators and can be very charming.
 bluebee60
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 79
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:02:12 PM
well i happen to be a recovering alcholic. I've been in recovery for 15 years. I have dated people who were sober or clean and i've dated people that weren;t junkies . I guess i would have to say everybody deserves a chance. However from my experience alcohol is but a symptom. I think if a person is in recovery and done some outside counselling then it's ok.Good luck and keepm an open heart and mind.
 lh90716
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 80
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:06:32 PM
no u got alot of things physically damaged inside of the body the havent reached its peak yet but as u age it will be revealed plus whos to say u might get the urged and be worser then before then we hav a problem but if u avoid it then u wont hav a problem to worry about but to each its own
 lh90716
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 81
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:11:42 PM
yeah to u its was ok after the couseling u think u r normal after over comin an addiction i mean come on your mate had to go threw a few levels of yo behavior after u was clean but anyway congratulations hope u r livin normal again and try not to relapse
 banana9
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 82
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:43:25 PM
Me personally, no i would not. I do believe it is possible for someone to change....but i waited too long for someone else and don't think i could do it again....i wouldn't be able to believe them......it's easier to believe from a distance.

tberry's comment "They are the best manipulators and can be very charming" describes my ex to a "T" By the time we split he was addicted to drugs but before that for yrs he was addicted to other things.....the addictions were just a symptom of bigger problems that for years i tried to help him with...after awhile i just realized that to an extent he was making his own choices and i decided to make my own and do what was best for me.

Kudos to you Cowboy.....i'm glad you could make it and find a purpose in life other than where to get your next fix....
 bitter_baby
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 83
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:46:51 PM
Been there done that... Makes you paranoid and you go crazy. Very hard to trust an ex junkie who still hangs out with his junkie friends.
 bulldog1966
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 84
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 2:42:03 PM
Addiction IS a disease, I'm not disputing that, but it's a self-inflicted disease. No one made you get high the first time, or the next, or the next. Everyone knows what can happen.
I've never met an addict, and I've met lots of them, who didn't have a great big tear-jerker story about how it's not their fault. Know what? IT'S BULLSHIT.
 samvegs
Joined: 5/6/2005
Msg: 85
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:37:27 PM
It might be interesting to know that the current Minister of Health in Ontario (Canada) was an ex-junkie. He cleaned up his act, and became a (debatably) successful politician.

So I guess that's just an example that people can turn things around, and if that's the case... Go for it!
 Silky3511
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 86
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:44:21 PM
Everyone has a right and deserves a second chance!
 Splinter
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 87
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:54:06 PM
Well I don't think that I would hold that against them. I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I would proceed with caution.
 bulldog1966
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 88
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:55:35 PM
^^^^^ You're right, everyone deserves a second chance. NO one deserves a third, or fourth, or tenth.
A junkie's favorite line is "I'm cleaning up my act, I'll never do it again."
Sure. Until the next time.
 ozma
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 89
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:56:09 PM
There are people who are addicts. Bottom line, they trade one addiction for another.
There are those few who turn to drugs who are going through a rough patch and don't have enough relationship skills to learn how to deal.
There's a fine line between the two.


and then there are people who have a party phase and then get over it and grow up.

i don't know which you are drugstorecowboy but to anwser your question yes, sure

the past is past. if i think the person is really over their bad habits then i see no reason not to live in the now and give it a shot...i mean try.
 Chameleanne
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 90
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:32:24 PM
WOW... I am just blown away by what I am reading here!!

On the one hand some of these responses are just hysterical, on the other hand...it is quite obvious some people have been really hurt by people who are obviously STILL struggling with their problems. I feel alot of empathy for you folks. However, this stuff happens all of the time and not just with Junkies:

I can truthfully say that I have dated and had relationships with people who have appeared to be of "outstanding character" and upon more lengthy investigation...you wouldn't beleive the skeletons jumping around in their closets...and they WERE NOT junkies, substance misusers or addicts of any kind...just your normal garden variety "****ed in the head types of people! " Idiots abound on this planet and they are not just relegated to the "Junkie" file

I have always said "You can make a case for anything if you talk long enough!!"

Some folks view the world very simplistically...those folks would probably be best to leave the recovering addicts alone...what in the world would they have in common anyways!!...and for the folks who have a more indescreet past...don't waste your time with people who show you that they are incapable of being on the same playing field...don't waste the richness and depth of your life experience!!

For the more complex, creative, passionate souls inhabiting this planet..."Don't EVER let anyone EVER tell you that you are not worthy or of more value than some of these close minded morons on here say you are. It is just the status quo talking...and do you really care about that anyways? You would not want to date someone who was so misunderstanding of you...would you ??

Carve your space out in life and make sure it is a well travelled and thought out one! YOU are the only one who will ever make your past difficulties a barrier to what you want now!!!
 beardob580
Joined: 5/30/2004
Msg: 91
Would you date an ex-junkie who''s cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:40:57 PM
^^^^^^^^
Thank you for your post.I dont try to hide my past from people,i was not a junkie,but an addict i am,i am in recovery,but i will ALWAYS be an addict.I get judged all the time.......a loser i am not.I also have no tear jerking story,i picked up.....and thats about it.Just got a lil unnerved when another post referred to all addicts as losers.To bad more people didnt have the same mind set as you........they miss out on meeting some really awesome people.Im a good person........with a bad disease.........
 sassyfox
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 92
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Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:53:27 PM
Yes, I would. I was married to one & he is the most wonderful person in the world now...well, kinda-sorta....we all have some sort of flaws. Anyway, we're the best of friends now....too bad he didn't straighten up sooner. Wish him the best in any future relationship! Hat's off!!
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 93
Would you date an ex-junkie who''s cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/3/2006 11:14:42 PM
How many people here would juggle dynamite?

Seriously.

How many?

Dynamite is extremely unstable, and if its very old , could explode at any time. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn''t.

Would you want to take the risk that the times you touch it, that it doesn''t?

And guess what? A stick of old dynamite can''t steal your TV, ruin your credit record and empty your bank accounts.

How is living with a former junkie any different from juggling dynamite? I''d argue that the junkie is more likely to blow up in your face.

There is so much crap people have to deal with in life already, why would anyone want to make conscious choice to charge head on into some real potential bullshit?
 lorielau
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 94
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:58:00 PM
You contradicted yourself. you said you would date an ex-junkie...if he's so wonderful, why wouldn't you date him now. the best relationships are when 2 people are the best of friends.
 shaunamarie78
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 95
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:52:58 PM

Addiction IS a disease, I'm not disputing that, but it's a self-inflicted disease. No one made you get high the first time, or the next, or the next. Everyone knows what can happen.
I've never met an addict, and I've met lots of them, who didn't have a great big tear-jerker story about how it's not their fault. Know what? IT'S BULLSHIT.


Actually, it's not all BS. I stayed away from the normal addictions that I knew could cause an addiction (drugs, alcohol) and turned to pills instead. I became horribly addicted to Gravol and other OTC meds. Also turned to benzos. And sadly took my father's and mother's death to make me realize that I couldn't let pills be the cause of a third death in three years to my brothers. Very almost did lose my life. And pretty much had to rebuild my life from the ground up.

Do I blame anyone for my addictions? Yes and no. While I don't blame my mother, she had a horrible illness that eventually robbed her of her life. And the pills made the pain go away for a little while. There was no joy in any other part of my life and I'll be the first to admit it. She'd always be crying with the pain. And there was nothing that could help her. And I couldn't deal with losing her...I only lost my dad in 2004. And the life was quickly being sucked out of her. I was trying to keep a normal life...but it was next to impossible. You try working and being around normal people...knowing that your mother will not be here come Christmas. And you know that you are going to be watching her suffer until she does. Because nothing is going to help her.

If it wasn't for the pills, I'd have died. It's as simple as that. Call it what you want, judge me all you want. I did what I had to do to survive. Just like any other addict. Sure, it's been a hellish six years for some of my family members. But that's six years they surely would not have gotten. And that's the bottom line.

Would I date someone in recovery? Yes. I'm not the same person I was ten years ago and I've changed a lot. So I'm not going to judge someone because they *might* relapse. If and when they relapse, then I will make a decision. But not until that happens.
 swee10lo
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 96
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:09:53 PM
no no no and NO again!!!way too risky!!!
 i_are_nad
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 97
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:12:58 PM
most junkies replace their adictions with something just as bad and become holy rollers...
 daisie
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 98
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:20:07 PM
JUNKIE?? No way!!

Someone who just used a few times, I would be cautious, but sure, I would give him a chance.
 biginvt
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 99
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:40:41 PM
I have to agree. i to was into drugs. but it has been 22 yrs and havent done a drug since... so it does depend on the person. it can be a hard thing to stop...... i was lucky... and thank God for giving me my son because when i found out i was going to have him, i stop right then and there, never even smoke ciggs... so there is hope.
 TheBurningMan
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 100
Would you date an ex-junkie who's cleaned up his act?
Posted: 7/5/2006 10:04:26 PM
Experimental drug users I don't mind. I mean, who hasn't smoked weed or taken a Hallucinogen during their first couple years of college? I did! I stopped partying with em though; finished my degree (and about to go back for my second).

If people stop using, why punish them? I know alot of people who don't drink/smoke/drug who have no car/house/job... How are they a better option?

That being said, I'd not want a using crackhead in my house. But that's another topic in it's own. Former users are a different lot, than abusers or addicts.
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