| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:44:35 PM | Yes we all do from time to time. It is a reality of the single life. However, I prefer to be alone than with someone who treats me badly or is emotionally unavailable. So yes I get lonely sometimes. It does not last long though... I call up good friends and invite them over or we hit the town, a night of socializing and or dancing always makes me feel alot better! If that does not work there is always shopping for shoes and jewellery or getting a pedicure!
;) Princesa | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:19:58 PM | | Hi I have felt what you are saying here.I would like to share what I have found. there is a peace that few know.The joy of reveling in God's company.Once you experience it you won't allow anyone or anything to mess it up.It will keep you from accepting just anything or anyone in your life.Why? because though you are alone,you are not lonely. In His Love JK | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:42:29 PM | I rarely feel lonely. I do that feeling very infrequently and it never lasts any length of time.
I have felt lonely in the past, however. At different times in my life.
One of the times I felt lonely when I was married. Go figure.
I guess what I was not getting in my relationship with my husband I have found through many friends and aquaintances ever since I have been single.
When I am alone now ( which is not often enough sometimes lol) I rarely if ever feel lonely.
I am not a religious person at all.
I think between friends and coworkers and family and face to face interactions and dating and dinners ( with whomever) and etc etc and POF forums and meeting new people...... we are so connected in so many ways to different degrees in different contexts. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/9/2007 9:33:46 PM | | Absolutely I have and do feel lonely. Sometimes more than others depending on the situation or what is going on at the time. Friends, family, work, etc. keep me busy and occupied for the most part, but when life slows down...I find myself feeling the most lonely and long for a relationship. I hate to go to bed alone. I miss the comfort and emotional safety of being tucked in close to that special someone every night. Someone who loves me and truly cares about me and wants me tucked in beside them just as much as I want to be there. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/10/2007 6:13:56 AM | Good thread. Should we be surprised that there are so many of us lonely ppl? How does one go on?.
At work and out with friends you couldn't tell if I was lonely, its only when I am home alone when it hits the hardest. The thing that gets me the most is when I see a happy couple someplace.
I guess just suck it up and keep fishing. Here fishy, fishy. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/10/2007 6:39:23 AM | | Same here ....everyday but I just keep moving on and as the days go by it gets better. I just smile and try to be happy. No one knows that I still hurt and feel lonely. But it does get better with time. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/12/2007 3:00:19 AM | From time to time I get lonely. I live alone, so it's bound to happen sometimes.
I don't, however, have a deep, burning need to have a significant other. I, of course, want to find someone.... but there are other priorities at the moment, and I don't think that anything was ever gained from obsessing about it- I feel it is more likely to lead you to blindly wind up with someone that you're not as compatible with when you go LOOKING for love.  | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/12/2007 3:59:54 AM | | nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , i just came to POF and poured my heart and soul into a profile that went into extra innings so that i could experience the joy of moronic replies of one line from men with profiles as interesting as the phone book because i got tired of watching my grass grow this summmer. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:19:45 AM | What is lonely, can it be measured in degrees; I'm lonely ,I'm really lonely, is there a difference. Are you making comparrisons and if so to what; What are you missing in your life to make you feel this way! some people put too much energy into this state of mind and it becomes unduanting and to some a sickness. But it is only a feeling and feelings can be changed. I don't feel lonely,that is a poor excuse to not to move on in life....but I do "wait" and waiting is not a lonely feeling. I'm just waiting to share with someone. JMO | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:35:40 PM | No. I can feel alone, but not lonely. I'm comfortable with myself, and know that I have people that love me and care for me.
But it is a feeling that many people have, and I know some who do, including family members. I'm always there for them, not matter what the hour, but only they can change the way they feel. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:41:36 PM | I'd rather be alone than annoyed.......
I recall one particular relationship where I realized I had NEVER felt as lonely as I did at that time. The ugly/messy break-up happened soon after.
Loneliness can be overwhelming when you are awake with insomnia in the middle of the night and the shadows of darkness seem to magnify every problem you think you have. However, being alone/single gives you the freedom to do something about it rather than staying trapped in something very unhealthy where you know you are just spinning your wheels.
WD | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/12/2007 7:02:28 PM | | I have felt lonely many times in my life but the odd thing for me is that when I was alone for many years and eventually thinking that I would be alone for the rest of my life I found the loneliness disappear and thought little about being alone. This past year I have been spending a lot time with a woman friend and soon found myself longing for her but we never became intimate and now that loneliness is back with a vengeance and I am not liking it very much. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/12/2007 11:13:33 PM | | Yes, we all have. Even people with dozens of great friends and no problem finding great bf's/gf's'll feel really lonely. I'm no exception, just without the huge circle of friends | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/13/2007 1:19:15 AM | | oh indeed when that feeling strikes you everythings goes blur. Here recently I just came home numb and curled up in a ball and I can honestly say fell asleep. So lonely the feeling of being alone. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/13/2007 4:36:00 AM | | I just realizing now just how alone some people are, but I'm not sure if lonley equates to the same definition of wanting, or missing something in your life that you once had. What makes you feel lonely....seeing other people together,going home to an empty house etc.. I have been by myself for over 10 yrs now so maybe that feeling has just manifested into something that now, has a more positive spin on it...or maybe I'm a bit of a loner and just don't realize it...bye for now fellow fishies... | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:12:26 AM | OH YES! Many years ago, as a army wife with a 9 mo. old, newly stationed in Tn; his family in Or, mine in NY, in our new home off base...hubby on military manuevers, knew nobody, before cheap long distance, cell phones, internet and instant messages.
Could have been worse, could have married a navy man. | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:17:38 AM | I've always been a loner by nature and I've always valued my "alone time".... it's something I've always needed a lot of, even while I was happily married. I guess that's why I never in a million years expected to feel so alone as I do right now...not lonely, but alone....and sometimes that feeling of alone-ness is almost more than I can bear...and it wouldn't matter if there were a hundred people around me, I would still feel very much alone...in fact, that feeling of being alone only seems to intensify when I'm in a crowd. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore... it's almost like feeling you're an alien amongst your own species, for the lack of a better analogy. It's that feeling that somehow you've been left behind when the whole world has gone foward...or to quote an old Pink Floyd classic...."and then one day you find/ ten years have gotten behind you/ and no one told you when to run/ you've missed the starting gun".....yeah well that's sort of the way I feel and as much as I'm trying to adapt to finding myself alone at 50, I never realized so many things had changed out there in dating land. So for now I've simply given up...there's just too much anger and bitterness for this sensitive soul, and the rules...damn all the rules... there's just so many rules it's making my head spin...when did this happen?
Anyways, take care all my fellow fishies and may you all find what you're looking for...
Love and peace...
Oldsoul 
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:28:16 AM | | Often. People are not meant to go through life alone. There is only so much one can do to keep busy without that special someone. Not to mention holidays suck when alone. Who wants that? | |
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| Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:04:31 AM | I have had many moments in my life when I felt lonely. Being married to a commercial fisherman who was away alot was a very lonely time of life. When he got home and things started to go sour it was the most lonely experience of my life. A different kind of lonliness. Probably worse. Having someone right there and still lonely.
My youngest child moved away to Australia and I miss her so much. Now being alone I have my moments, and have wallowed in self pity and lonliness. I was always looking for something or someone outside me to fill that void.
I have recently been doing some deep personal growth and the suggestion I was given was to use a working definition of LONELY
"It is the emotion and experience of isolation resulting from the belief in separation. The emotional response to being shut down. "
To be lonely is to be shut down to the thing you want. You cannot have love if your heart is closed.
Most of the time, we are totally unaware that we are shut down. Unaware that we are afraid. In response to being unaware, we seek and crave or lust after the very thing we believe we cannot have. We are never lonely for a person or a thing. We are seeking an experience we believe we cannot have.
When experiencing loneliness, open your heart. Ask that the Divine (whatever that is to you) to fill you with love. When you feel it, remember to breathe. It will not kill you. Allow love to fill your entire being. The moment you can do this, open your heart and yourself to the experience of love, and every other thing you think you want will miraculously appear.
As said in the Course of Miracles ,
"The Holy Spirit will always respond to your slightest invitation. "
A couple of mantra's I have tried are:
I am love being loved.
There is no shortage of love.
I release all thoughts, doubts, and fears that this is not possible.
I am an expression of all that love is. For this I am so grateful!. And so it is.
Namaste. | |
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