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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > what is with the "never call again" crap and why do we put up with it?      Home login  
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 outdoregrl
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 51
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
i'm talking about people that fabric stories to get out of a situation or say they r going to do something but they don't which means lying.i mean if u go on a date and u didn't like the person and u don't call back for another date that is fine,that makes sense,it's logical. but to tell u the trut. i got stood up once and then got asked back by the same guy then i stood him up just so he could feel what i felt. we go out now and then and he has never pulled that again. when my boy friend and i broke up we discussed it and that was that. i really haven't had goofy drama shit from dating,thank god.
 syv_joel
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 52
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 11:10:46 AM
Thanks for pointing out the rudeness factor of not calling, htowngirl. I didn't realize the importance of this. I called the pretty mermaid last night and it went fairly well. Again, I am asking the questions, keeping the conversation going. She seems a little bored. I'm not discouraged because I KNOW I have a lot to offer, she just won't know for a while. So, now the mode seems to be slow and steady, build friendship, no chemistry evident, maybe someday.

I will see the other one tonite at her camera club meeting. I'm setting low expectations on both of these women and will continue fishing. I would probably be ecstatic with either one because we are the most perfect matches(interests and values) and the most attractive, I have ever encountered.

I saw an example of "true love" yesterday at Kmart. This couple in their 80s or maybe 90s were leaving in front of me. The guy was pushing his lady in her wheelchair, taking little 6 inch steps. I slowed down to watch them slowly trek out to their minivan. He is there barely able to get her up into the passenger seat. I thought about helping, but no, her man can still take care of her. When I saw this, the world of dating we middle age and young folks live in seems so shallow and frivolous(rejecting and moving on so easily). This is the love my grandparents knew for 50+ years. Many rough spots in 5 decades but when you get through it, you know you have had something most of us will never know.

Joel
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 53
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 11:28:50 AM
I don't put up with it. I figure life is too short to waste on someone that doesn't want me. Sure I want attention, but why should I make myself even more miserable chasing the guy?
 Monday In October
Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 54
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what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 11:47:33 AM
Having a 'human skin lampshade' in your living room would do it..
 scorpiossting
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 55
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 12:57:20 PM
lmao......baked salmon.........i must say you do have a point!!
 calmingchaos
Joined: 10/6/2005
Msg: 56
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 1:57:37 PM
Two words ... Disposable Entertainment.
 nursechick78
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 57
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 5:33:20 PM
This seems to be a classic topic and I have often been left wondering what was wrong with me. I recall dating before marriage and comparing that to dating now, after divorce. When I was young, thin, and basically a 'barbie doll' men would get what they wanted and then split. Now that I am older, not so thin, and a mother, I find that men tend to do the same thing. Besides the question of why men do the never call again crap, because I don't think we will ever figure it out... the one thing I never understood is, if a girl sleeps with a guy and he never calls after that, he is just leaving a sure thing. I mean, I'm not trying to sound rude, but if that is what a guy is really after, why get it only once? This has happened to me and all my friends that I know and this has happened to some of the guy friends I know. I can't really speak for why women do it because I have never done that. All I can say about it is that people who do that are either liers, cheaters, or just plain cowards.
Jess
 daisy66
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 58
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 7:21:43 PM
I haven't read any responses, but....

I'm just puzzled by the title of this thread. If they never call again, what exactly is there to "put up with?"

Since it's already happened, how can you not "put up with it"? Isn't it out of your hands at that point?

Sorry, just feeling very "literal" tonight....

 dcandyman1
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 59
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 7:35:46 PM
just move to the states and ill marry you right now.
 Cocoacamino
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 60
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/7/2006 10:56:45 PM
It happens to me all the time. I think its because when you meet someone on the internet...theres no accountability. You don't know anyone they know so its not embarassing for them to treat you disrespectfully. They can run away knowing that no one will make them feel bad about it. Thats just my theory, its easy for them to hide out. I have also found out they have girlfriends or fiancees...so that explains it too!!
 scorpiossting
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 61
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 5:04:15 AM
what i meant was.........why do we even let it get to that point. why can't we see the singles before it happens..........why does it happen to all kinds of women.......what can we do about it..........why are some men so lacking in balls that they can't just say what they mean instead of disappearing into thin air.
 Sversion1
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 62
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 5:14:43 AM
I'm surprised crap like that happens.

Although I think for some, maybe the signs weren't there but the guys sometimes are not having the best of times. Problem with some men is they don't speak up, alot of times their body language is total opposite to whats going on in their head. sometimes a gift, other times a curse.

And like a post or two above, the whole acountability thing from being online plays a part too. However I care too much about what people think of me so I can't do it that way. If I need to cut ties I gotta speak up. If it mutually fizzles out....well then thats great haha.

But very true, its the lacking in balls....they 'think' its easier to just bounce....but leaves so many questions...I know when it happend to me me once I was like WTF lol.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 63
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 5:55:02 AM
too many fish in the sea, and the men are so sure that the perfect woman is on POF, that they date a million women once. Men are like buses, a new one comes by every 15 minutes.
 lotsabooty
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 64
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 6:50:32 AM
First of all I agree with what Daisy said.........you don't have any control over these jerks, but the big mistake we women make is letting them have too many chances to come back. My rule is now, I give them one chance, b/c they could have been busy, overwhelmed whatever..........so you try again, if they do it again, then they are playing games & aren't really that interested.
Just so you know you aren't alone, I've had this happen a few times, just recently I've been seeing a fella for a month or so now & he did the "I'll call you routine" & I haven't heard from him, so I figure we've been close enough the last month or so, if he doesn't have the decency to call or whatever, then what's he going to be like way down the road?
Another recent on line date, I had been chatting, on the phone for hrs with this guy for over a month, we shared a lot, etc........I sent him several pics, so he would know what I looked like, vice versa. We finally met, had a wonderful time, yes we did fool around a bit & then I heard nothing for a few days & he sent an EMAIL, saying he didnt' feel we should move on further. I hated putting that investment in someone, wasting all that time.......so its totally turned me off on line dating.
Bottom line is we only allow people to treat us as well as how we expect or want to be treated. The not calling you thing is definitely a guy thing, we are the more polite sex for sure.
 killercutesmile
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 65
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:57:49 AM
I know, its like they just want the chase. This guy is no prize either, I mean he is tall, but hes overweight a bit, losing his hair, so its not like he can choose from any girl he wants either.

He has an amazing voice and sweet personality. I was the one who was scared in the beginning because he was clingy. He left me a message saying...i havent heard from you all day, i hope i didnt do anything wrong, told me he was falling hard for me. He knew my looks, he knew everything about me. We met, I spent the night with him, then in the morning, he kinda hits my arm n says thanks.......im like WTF. I never felt so cheated in my life, not by him, but by me. I came home, showered for over an hour straight, then went back there pissed off to tell him. WHen i got there, he started to cry and said, he was ****ed up..i said yeah you are. He said he has done it before, got all into a relationship then suddenly got cold feet...and got out, same thing twice before. We have talked a couple of times on the phone, but he dont know what he wants. I went to see him again last nite, but..he changed his mind again. Now im coming across as a stalker because I need to get this sorted out in my head and I am hoping things will change. Maybe im the one messed up. The first time in five years I felt I actually clicked with someone and this is how it is....its not worth it. I dont know what im doing anymore. Iknow im not calling him again, last nite was the last straw.I see his favorites on here has gone up one, and i see him on pof before and after work...so hes still looking. Guess I wasnt what he wanted even though he tells me he dont know what he wants. Is there any normal people out there??? I know he meant every single word he told me before we got together, and he told me he did. Then after the first nite, it feel apart. I dont think I want to wait around while he makes up his mind. I have a chance at a date today, I think im goin to take it!

Thanks for the email, i really need to talk and no one around me understands the online dating, they think its messed up and im starting to agree.

BB - Now I think about it, I think he was the alien! If not, they have a firm grip on him.

Have a great day!

Tracy
 RandomlyCool
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 66
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 8:20:27 AM
Hey..sounds like my last date. hahaha..Although I only tried calling once...left one IM. It's not that I give up easy..I just don't want to look like a stalker.

Well...I would never do anything like that. At least I don't think I would.
 DreamerOfU
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 67
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:13:24 AM
I just want to point out, that this happens TO guys as well, i can't count the number of times that even just talking online a few times, and it seems like things are going good, and the girl claims she wants to get together, and then drops off the face of the earth, doesnt return im's from any source (here, or aim/yahoo if we've exchanged those already) so it's not just guys that dont return...
 Taylor_Made
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 68
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:28:13 AM
It just shows the true charater of people I think. Even if I am not interested anymore, I let them know....I dunno, I just find it easy to be upfront about those things. After all, there was something good there to start. RESPECT
 syv_joel
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 69
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:51:52 AM
If you approach dating with cynicism and stoic ambivalence, the man will reflect it right back at you in this way. This is the known as the "Law of Mental Magnetism"(Dr Robert Anthony books). You will attract exactly what you exude. In his mind, he is "reading" your body language, etc, and when he sees no emotion or interest, he will either move on(possibly without calling again, why should he show courtesy to someone who acts indifferently) or tell you there's no chemistry OR try for the gusto of a quickie(not my deal). IF you have interest, SHOW SOME INTEREST in him (his job, maybe), but not TOO much(e.g. sex before date 5, imho). I can't stand pouty, coy, or smug indifference. It reminds me of the bad years with my ex. You gotta at least smile on a date or you'll(men or women) be riding a lot of buses and later grow old alone maybe, as we all descend on the dating "food chain". Not pretty.

 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 70
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 1:48:20 PM
I rarely meet a man who will wait for sex til date 5, but then most seem to be looking for sex and nothing else. Why should I show courtesy to a man when on a date he talks about other women and how hot they are, tells me that I am not beautiful but he might have sex with me if he cannot find another date, or talks about his ex wife and what a witch she is/was and how she mistreated him but how he still loves her. I do not exude anything but a listening ear and a smile and polite conversation on a date, so guess the problem is the dating pool is full of frogs.
 scorpiossting
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 71
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/8/2006 2:34:40 PM
I agree with you somewhat, joel...........however i do all these things.............doesn't work........i've tried many approaches to dating and to no avail. There just seems to be too much drama out there for me. Excuses...............lies.............who needs it really?? I'm an upfront, honest girl and when I'm interested in someone I make it well known without going overboard. I'm at a loss. It's not like this is the first time it's happened it's just the first time I got severely irritated about it because I honestly thought this one was different.
 killercutesmile
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 72
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/9/2006 6:50:13 AM
WELL, when all is said and done and Im over being used and ticked off, this is what my thoughts are, which i got from the ever famous "Maxine" the elderly lady cartoon,

"Life is too short to dance with ugly men!"

Just let me add an "AMEN".

Tracy
 Moonshine519
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 73
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/9/2006 4:27:14 PM
One date , twenty , your still due an explanation !!!
 scorpiossting
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 74
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/10/2006 2:18:12 PM
thank you moonshine......you're my kinda man!!
 AliasIncognito
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 75
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 6/10/2006 2:32:30 PM

One thing she preaches is do not be a giver until the guy completely deserves it.


You got it. That's it exactly. Too easy is not attractive.

The things we appreciate most in life are the things that we worked for.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > what is with the "never call again" crap and why do we put up with it?