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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > what is with the "never call again" crap and why do we put up with it?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 makin memories
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 101
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what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I had this happen to me also amd was devasted like everyone else.I bowed out gracefully now the jerk is emailing me again and trying to set up another date as if nothing ever happened.Boy,sometimes the lack of accountability gets to you ehy?
 Luckyone 38
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 102
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:00:43 AM
I had it happen to me as well. It does suck. You think things are going so well and boom. I think from my perspective that alot of it has to do with all the shopping people do on here if you know what I mean. Theres no exchanges damn it!
 electric_jester62
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 103
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what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:04:04 AM
I think it's a Canadian thang ! ! ! !

 snowite
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 104
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what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 3:36:11 AM
I have a clue for you: in your profile you typed:


I am just an easy going fun girl............looking for an easy going fun guy. I'm completely not high maintenance and want someone who treats me right and can make me laugh. Other than that.........I'm open to suggestions. See guys?? Simple..........relatively painless..........I don't bite.......well, maybe

You have made your profile sound like " hey guys, funtime here..no committment necessary" also putting the very first profile pic of you have a drink and laughing it up.

your profile says to me( and Im not a guy) we can have fun, we can party and maybe get a little woo hooo on the side and you don't have to worry cause, it all no strings attached fun. just parties and maybe a little sex.. and me thinks..that is all they are there for..

once they got it they stick around long enough to make a serious connections with a more down to earth- GF material type of lady. then poof..they leave you hanging..

Sorry if this hurt your feelings, not trying to be mean..just stating the obvious.
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 105
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 4:16:35 AM
GUYS: I think the ladies are skipping right over the 'a woman did it to me' posts lol. At least a dozen of you have told your story how a woman committed the crime yet later posts from women say 'i wish a man would know how it felt'. They are not even reading our posts.

So I'll tell mine anyway. In a nutshell. Met a nice girl. Took her to a movie. Everything is great. Set up another date. She never shows up. Won't answer her phone. I finally get hold of her a couple days later. She says she got busy and her phone didn't have a signal. In town. For 2 days. So I swallowed my pride and set up another date. Stood me up again. Didn't bother calling her. 6 months later she emails me like nothing happened.

Gosh I wish you women knew how it felt when.......oh nm heh.

Cougar, I don't know why but when reading your posts I especially feel for you. You just seem to have no animosity towards men in you. 100% nice person. I hate the guys doing this to you.

And lotsabooty!! All these women on here want one thing: for the guy to inform them they have lost interest. So YOU get the ONE GUY who actually tells you he's not interested, and you jump on the forum and complain about it! And someone else complained they were told in an email. I thought women just wanted to be told, by ANY means, that the guy was not interested. An email is better than the old 'never call again crap' isn't it?

Well ladies, I have big shoulders, I will take the blame for all the lame ass men who don't call. Put it all on me, I can take it.

have a better day everyone!
 meeRi
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 106
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what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 4:19:39 AM
" kindda tired of that no deposit love,
where there's no return " ~ Michael Franks

Me too,
 powder2
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 107
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 4:21:44 AM
Ok you women seem so desperate to find something like love(dirty word) life is short have fun so what he doesn't call big whoop there is so many nice guy's out there ,you say you got used but really did you not do the same to them .please i beg of you don't take life so serious go out have fun ,and when you least expect it and the men see you are not so needy the big L will probably hit you ,get yourself some self esteme and it doesn't matter what you look like tell yourselves you where to good for him anyways good luck to all you ladies and gents out there
 dolladyone
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 108
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 4:40:01 AM
oh my god..thought it was ME....seems so damn hard to meet someone I feel I connect with...and when we do meet...in person..and the sparks seem to be flying...it is all wonderful. then out of the blue..he DISAPPEARS..no calls...no IM's...Nada!!

am actually very seriously considering just giving this all up....am not "city"...even though I live here...have traveled (quite a bit...to meet..to try to perpetuate a relationship)...for what?

have decided that my main goal is going to be to make MYSELF happy...no guy has ever suceeded anyway...some have made time spent with them enjoyable..but for me to consider more...when just about all are crude...immoral..and just pretty much JERKS....why do I continue to waste my time? (I would LOVE to meet someone real on here...not someone who wants to talk trash all the time...has no goal other than to get into my pants...or remain totally annoymous...and just be "cyber")

face it girls...all the nonsense...bull shit..and grief...just isn't worth it...batteries are alot cheaper..and alot more reliable!

now if I could just get the batteries to ...rub my back occasionally.....hold me tight..for a great hug....think I could never look back!
 Mominatrix
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 109
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what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 12:00:53 PM

face it girls...all the nonsense...bull shit..and grief...just isn't worth it...batteries are alot cheaper..and alot more reliable!


When someone invents a vibrator that can mow the lawn, I am so there....
 clickit13
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 110
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 5:39:06 PM
I am with you...I did meet a guy that I REALLY liked and on the 2nd date, he told me everything I wanted to hear. My heart heard what it wanted but my brain was seeing red flags everywhere! He referred to himself as my boyfriend at dinner, told me I was stunning, said he would come off POF, and seemed totally into it. The hard part is that I wanted to believe it but something told me not to. We go back to my place and messed around but I stopped there. Well, haven't heard from him since. I did call once but he never returned my call. I stop there...you are right, don't want to act like a stalker and I certainly am not desperate to be with him and only him!! Why can't guys just wait to get to know a girl better? I mean, I wanted him that night, too! Just wanted to know him a little better and it would have happened! So, he deleted his account and then I see him on here a couple days later with a new screen name! And on his profile he states that this site needs better monitoring and that people should lighten up??!! Wish he would have just stayed deleted but I do wish him luck in finding what he is looking for...obviously it isn't a woman with morals.
 JoePAMN
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 111
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 6:49:38 PM
I think it has happened to everyone, men & women, at least once. People who can't be honest enough to tell you they're not interested are lacking in social skills and are most likely insecure. I take these kinds of things as learning experiences, and realized the person wasn't who I thought they were.
 Tango57
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 112
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 6:56:35 PM
Personally, I have never done the disappearing act or the sudden demented dump with anyone - whether I've gone out with them once or 50 times or more.

I'm not sure why people chose to exit in this manner but it's a real mind-f*KK when someone you've been dating for a period of time or involved with for a period of time and they disappear or go berserk and dump you out of the blue. It's a coward's way of exiting and a sure sign that they are covering something else up.

Anyway - about a year and a half ago I was involved with someone for about 3 months when everything was seemingly ok - one day we were talking and everything was fine and the next day he wrote me off like a bad check - out of the blue. When I tried calling to find out if he was OK and why he'd gone off on me he went totally berserk. I never got an explanation, in fact, I never even got an "I never want to see you again" - instead I got a bunch of gibberish that made no sense - so I had to come to my own conclusion - that it was over.

I managed to make a great discovery though. His father and I had become friends during the course of the relationship. Although I did not want to involve his father, I did call him about a month after the dump to see how he was. To make a long story short - I got "dumped" this way because he had found someone else (on the internet) a Russian lady who lived in Bogota who he ended up importing here a few months after dumping me.

Turns out that 3 other women before me got dumped even worse than I did - only they had the misfortune to be married to him. He would meet them, import them, marry them, tire of them and find someone else, and so on and so forth is how the cycle went. It also turns out that his current marriage is about to end. Trouble in paradise - and the new bride is already being ignored (after less than a year married) while he spends long hours on the internet - I'm certain he's already found wife to be number 5.

I consider myself lucky - and of course the discovery of truth did help put things in perspective.

The point is - dumping someone in this manner is a horrible thing to do and depending on the length of the relationship it can do a real mind-screw on them - ultimately you have to say that you are much better off - that you escaped the speeding bullet - becaues you did. I know I did. We don't always have the luxury of knowing the truth and that's what sometimes eats away at us - but let's just say this - when someone disappears in this manner - there's more to it than meets the eye - usually it's a cover up for something not so nice and more often than not it has got nothing to do with you. So just consider yourself lucky!
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 113
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/26/2006 9:38:39 PM
Wow Tango that's a hell of a story.

f those guys!!

Glad you dodged that one.
 Belly Drummer Girl
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 114
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/28/2006 9:59:57 PM
It really bothers me that people think it's okay to mess around with someone's mind this way. It is so cowardly and I don't know how someone could even live with themself acting like such a jerk. If I'm not interested in someone I will let them know in a gentle way. To not call or return a message is just plain mean. Whatever happened to that saying treat others they way you expect to be treated. Not confronting the issue is just making it easier for the jerk not the other person wondering what's going on here.

I keep thinking to myself how can I better teach my kindergarten students to never treat people so rudely.

Sorry for everyone who has had to deal with these kinds of people.
 Luckyone 38
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 115
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 8/28/2006 11:19:42 PM
Had it happen to me. Cowards thats all there is to it.
 scorpiossting
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 116
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/1/2006 4:59:56 PM
Umm.......not quite sure what you're talking about........I don't recall too many times in my life where I was ever spiteful, first of all..........and second of all...........everything that i say is called for..........or i wouldn't say it..........i'm all about the honesty as i think everyone should be..........
 scorpiossting
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 117
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/1/2006 5:02:24 PM
Thanks, snowite........I appreciate that........and you are right......however, that profile describes who I am............I am totally easy going..............but not EASY if you know what I mean! lol
 SassyJC67
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 118
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/1/2006 5:04:36 PM
Oh yeah this has happend more than once to me as well...and they are NOT married because I have their home phone number and have been to their house....it's pure ignorance or just being a coward to say "Hey I lost interest or I got scared"!
 tallboy62
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 119
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/6/2006 9:45:13 AM
OP you seem like a real sweetie. Seems like you did everything right according to syv_joel. His approach is good. It's the guy's loss for sure and maybe he even knows it. You deserved at least an explanation after your relatively significant involvement.

What can you do but keep facing the sh!tstorm with gusto?
 len1969
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 120
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/6/2006 10:52:08 AM
Yikes! I really shouldn't read threads like this - makes me want to hide under my bed and never come out! The dating world is a scary place!!

Why must everything be so complicated? Why spend so much time trying to figure out what is going on in other people's heads - just ask!
 Loopy_18
Joined: 8/9/2006
Msg: 121
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/6/2006 11:21:54 AM
Something similiar happened to me as well... I think it all boils down to manners. Whether you are male/female whatever... happens to both sexes... If someone is a player they are players, plain and simple.. again male or female.

I think, if you have met and have had a couple/few dates or more then the IM and email needs to change to telephone or in person. It's way too easy for everyone to just fire off an email

Here is a concept...how about we just tell each at that first coffee that "hey.. you're a nice guy/gal...but... seems there is no "click".... What is wrong with that?? Too honest for some folk..I guess.

It' s a whole different story if you have spent time/energy etc.... By that time feelings are involved and the other party deserves an explanation.

To the guy who said he has tried to "break it off" in person only to have the girl convince him to continue even though it's destined to fail anyway.... That's your issue, not hers....You have to stick to your guns....Unless it really is worth saving and trying again.

Happy fishing everyone....

Loopy
 kookies
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 122
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/6/2006 11:30:36 AM
I think it's a Canadian thang


^^^^ happens with americans too.

cougar might as well get use to it hun...it happens quite often...reason for me to not even bother anymore...why waste my time.
 Sekhet
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 123
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/6/2006 12:05:44 PM
Well it would seem that this has happened to alot of us... both men and women. Letting it go seems to be the prevelant advice when this sort of things happen, unfortunately it's easier said than done. Especially for those of us that overthink things and want to know why and how come the other person wasn't mature enough or have the balls just to say that they weren't interested. It's not that hard people... even if it is an email... might sting at first but at least it would bring some closure to it all. Hey I wouldn't mind if someone had the guts to tell that the reason they weren't or lost interest was because of a) b) or c). At least then I could use it has a learning experience and become a better person for the next fish that comes along. Of course I am trying to learn to live by the words of one of my favorite authors - "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss and I truely believe that is the case and if someone can not take me for me or help me become someone better than I'm better off without them.
 kingbreeze
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 124
what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/6/2006 6:50:05 PM
i wouldn't take it personally, move on to better things. i have left this site once before but the women that i had been talking already knew that there wasn't anything more than friends and the ones i had kept in touch with knew that i'd left.
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 125
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what is with the never call again crap and why do we put up with it?
Posted: 9/6/2006 9:02:39 PM
The end of a 10 years relationship - she handed me a piece of paper and told me to read it. People do not always deal with hard conversations well. But it is not just a male thing- women have the same problem- I could generalize about men and women - but each situation is its own- so deal with it like it is your own, not just- all guys are a******* or all women are b*****s.

Each thing happens to us for a reason- Look at yourself too when things go bad
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