| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:33:46 AM | I am so pleased i am not the only one to have this happen. I agree if they just said ,sorry you are not what i m looking for, it would save you wondering if they are going to answer.
I am really mad when men say they are say 5ft 9in when you meet, they suddenly shrink to 3 or 4 ins shorter than that .What !!!!! dont they think we wont notice. | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:39:15 AM | | I would think it's because you don't have a pic up so that can't decide if you are their type. People are weird that way. They want to see what you look like before striking up a relationship. In any event I think the lack of response is your answer. Happens to lots of people. *shrugs* | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:46:16 AM | | Its not only MEN that do that, I have had the same thing happen to me many times from women, now I have pics up all the time so I know anyone who sends me a message has already seen my pic and more or less decided they like me. Everybody has an idea of who they like and who they don't, thats life I'm afraid. | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:47:56 AM | | sorry but that goes both ways some ladys do the same thing its a no win one on most sites most care about looks and not whats on the inside it comes down to one thing ( its not the face you f**k but the F**k you face and i dont care about it but thats me have meet some really nice ladys on here as well bye for now jazz13 this wont help but its the truth me as a guy i know im not good looking but i dont care like me for how i am or piss off | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:56:53 AM | this has happened to me a couple times:
A woman with no pic posted emails me, and says she can send a pic if I'm interested.
When I recieve the pic, it's accompanied with a demand such as: "so now you've seen my picture. Let me know what you think. I believe in openness and I'd appreciate you telling me how you feel about my picture so I know we're not wasting each other's time"
My reaction to this kind of email is read/delete. Sorry, but it's not based on the picture, it's based on the demand.
I'm assuming this person is the type, that will spend her life asking a husband "does this dress make me look fat?" or "how do I look?" or other questions to which there's no right answer that won't provoke an angry reaction.
Also, I'm a little pis'ed off that the woman has already assumed that my decision as to whether or not she's worth knowing is based entirely on the picture. As with anyone on this site, if something about them has caught my interest, there's things about them I'd like to learn, (personality, lifestyle, hobbies, etc). I'd like to learn these things about a person as I make my decision on how well I want to get to know them. Demanding I decide this based on 1 picture is instant turn-off for me. | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:14:05 PM | | It's simple, some of them are very shallow. They have a very rigid picture of what they ar looking for and if you don't fit it, they figure you aren't worth the time of day. On the reverse, I notice that if a man sends a picture and a woman decides she doesn't want to take it any further, some men have the tendency to become VERY rude and insulting. It's okay for THEM to turn people down but if they are interested in you, you have no right to deline them. It is better to find this out sooner than later. Guys like that are scarey, | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:30:26 PM | Lady, were all shallow to some extent, even you! Can you say that you're above reproach--when it comes to good looks. Have you ever submitted to the mercy-date? I have taken out more girls in the last year, than I did during 4 yrs of high school. (just because I put aside being shallow). I meet alot of nicer people that way. Not to mention that just by going up to someone who sitting there by themselves, shows the type of person that you really are to them. Kinda like opening yourself up on a whole new level.
Try not to make everyone out to be Shallow, just because you can. A noted singer says in one of his songs, "You want to point your finger at the Unclear, you Ought'a point your fingre in the mirror". Nuff' said, Donato  | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:32:44 PM | How we look is one of the attributes that we bring to the table. Fortunately there is no absolute scale for looks. It always amazes me how much I disagree with the ratings that I see for images of people; in both directions. That’s really good news because what one person doesn’t like another will.
As someone else said, "it’s appearance that opens the door to exploring the rest." Once we realize that appearance is part of the mix that others are seeking and that it’s usually the first thing we see (pun); we can put to rest the nonsense that what’s inside is all that matters. In the relationship I’m seeking that will be true later but not from the start. I mean let’s be real, we don’t have any idea what’s on the inside from picture or profile we have to spend a lot of time discovering that.
Now, as to the question that brought all this out, “… never talk to you again?” I have no problem with the “no response” option. You see, no response is a response in itself. There’s no guessing; they’re just not interested! A note is nice, and I’ve sent many myself but I’m not sure if notes are any better. When I send a note I usually say something like, “thanks for the note, good luck to you.” I never actually say, “NOT interested.” It just seems unnecessarily hurtful but the problem with my note is that some may not understand that I'm not interested. If I'd not responded they know I'm not!
I say, post the pics from the start, it really does take out a lot of guess work. When I message a girl and get no response, I understand that something (not necessarily the picture) about me didn’t click and I can move on. Remember it’s a package that people are seeking; the pic is an important part of it.
Good luck, BP | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/30/2006 6:36:29 PM | I have taken out more girls in the last year, than I did during 4 yrs of high school. (just because I put aside being shallow). I meet alot of nicer people that way. Not to mention that just by going up to someone who sitting there by themselves, shows the type of person that you really are to them. Kinda like opening yourself up on a whole new level.
I rest my case.
As someone else said, "it’s appearance that opens the door to exploring the rest." Once we realize that appearance is part of the mix that others are seeking and that it’s usually the first thing we see (pun); we can put to rest the nonsense that what’s inside is all that matters. In the relationship I’m seeking that will be true later but not from the start. I mean let’s be real, we don’t have any idea what’s on the inside from picture or profile we have to spend a lot of time discovering that.
Think about it, looks are the one thing that will DEFINITELY change and yet 90% of the initial screening for partners in North America is based on a rigid definition of who looks hot and who doesn't. The rest of the world does not approach marriage like that and marriages are MUCH more stable and divorce rates a LOT lower. Go figure. This idea that if a woman doesn't have blonde hair, blue eyes, big tits, and look like she spends half her day throwing up in the bathroom she is automatically unattractive an unworth of notice is ridiculous. When we start using criteria to select partners that is less irrelevant, rigid and unrelated to the long term prospects if success in a relationship, perhaps we will see more stable marriages in North America. | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/31/2006 5:33:25 AM | | Cause they are shallow and really need a reality check. Too much focus is put on looks right off the bat. I believe u should get to know the person for a bit.....then take a look at what they look at. I bet u can see great things about them after getting to know them better. | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/31/2006 6:20:30 AM | >>Think about it, looks are the one thing that will DEFINITELY change and yet 90% of the initial screening for partners in North America is based on a rigid definition of who looks hot and who doesn't.
I think you may have missed the point I was making in my paragraph that preceded the one you quote. Specifically I'm say that, "there is no rigid definition!" That's an illusion created by advertising and few men, that I know, actually fall for it. When I talk with my buddies I always find it amazing that there are such wide ranging opinions of what makes a woman beautiful. Admittedly, the media has had its affect on thinking but there's a practical side that comes out when guys think seriously. Furthermore, we change as we age and our definition of beauty changes. Most often as we spend time with a woman she becomes more and more beautiful to us; has for me for certain.
One last item. Of all the men I've talked to about why they are no longer in a relationship with a woman, marriage or otherwise, I have NEVER heard any one of them say it was because she no longer fit some ideal of "hotness" and it has never been the reason for me either rather it has always been about inner things (both guy/girls) that were discovered as the relationship progressed that lowered mutual compatibility. The important thing to note here is that these things would not show in a profile with or without pictures.
I think perhaps much of this discussion arises from a small number of guys that are the "players" and not from the many serious men out there.
Cheers, BP | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/31/2006 12:54:33 PM | Hey I might be guilty of this,not really sure.I get alot of women contacting me.Some are attactive some aren't.
I post three pics that give a ideae of what I look like & what my fav hobbie is.This is so people will know if they have a basic attaction or not.
9's date 9's, 4's date 4's & you can go in ether direction a point or 2 for personality.So post your pic & someone will like it sooner or laterif you don't your just hiding.
 | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/31/2006 2:11:40 PM | yeah papabear but there is the element of the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" phenomena. someone might be a 10 to me because she has a pretty face, you might think she is a 5 because she might be a little overweight and doesn't want to ride on a motorcycle.
i really couldn't care any less if 9s are dating 9s, 4s are dating 4s, whatever, different things attract different people, looks matter to me but that's not THE ONLY thing i consider when checking out a lady's profile on the internet.
i posted a long ago in this thread that it's fair to TRY to make this internet dating thing work like it would in real life, where you aren't meeting folks either wearing a blindfold or them with a paper bag over their head. In Real Life, looks matter. sorry but that's true. we ain't living in some sort of utopia. that's the way it is. | |
|
| |
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/31/2006 4:20:29 PM | Really:
I think you may have missed the point I was making in my paragraph that preceded the one you quote. Specifically I'm say that, "there is no rigid definition!" That's an illusion created by advertising and few men, that I know, actually fall for it
Almost ALL of the men I know fall into it. They cling to it rigidly.
I have NEVER heard any one of them say it was because she no longer fit some ideal of "hotness" and it has never been the reason for me either rather it has always been about inner things (both guy/girls) that were discovered as the relationship progressed that lowered mutual compatibility.
Exactly. Degree of "hotness" has NOTHING to do with whether or not a relationship will succeed over the long haul but for many, it is the first point of screening.
If we are focusing on players it is because they seem to be in abudance and its harder and harder to find someone who really wants to pursue a serious relationship involving commitment. | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/31/2006 5:48:33 PM | | Yea, as jazzman said,women do the same thing. Not only that they lie about their age or what they like to do , Like sailing, I would say 80% ay they love to sail but when it cmes right down to it they don't know a thing about it. I think we all tend to strech the truth a little. I have to say I have met some women that I wouldn't mind to have as a friend. But when it comes down to long term partener, They,(being you, The Women)to me at least, I would have to be some what sexually attracted to, for it to work, if you know what I mean. Noprojusdiv | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 7/31/2006 6:09:34 PM | | I think it is better to not reply afterwards than write out every reason why he physically doesn't like you. One way of avoiding the situation is post a pic on your profile....Nobody wants to feel like an ***hole so not responding is easier than writing you, aren't average body type you lied by about 2 or three HUNDRED pounds, you do have a pretty smile for a horse, I thought only guys had adams apples, etc.... These are things that no nice person wants to say or hurt someones feelings with, so best advice is post a pic and then only people who are attracted to you will respond and your problem is solved. | |
|
| |
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 8/7/2006 6:54:43 PM |
These are things that no nice person wants to say or hurt someones feelings with, so best advice is post a pic and then only people who are attracted to you will respond and your problem is solved.
I wonder if people should be so quick to post pictures if they realized that ALL of our profiles appear in Google even to people who aren't logged in. Don't believe me? Try doing this search in Google "Your Username plentyoffish". See what you will come up with. It was a REAL eyeopener to me.
Same with these threads. They ALL appear in Google.  | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 8/8/2006 3:54:10 PM | | Whether you are looking for a friend, a date or just to chat, you like everyone else get curious and high expectations, sometimes you have had a picture in your mind of what that person looks like, then when a photo is seen, quite often there is some disappointment, so what do they do? they find its embarrasing to tell you they don't like your looks, most people are emotional cowards and will just back off without a word!!!!! its cruel but very normal!! | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 8/8/2006 10:21:21 PM | Oh that was cold about the fat and ugly part. Hey there's alot of you guys out there that don't send pictures. And if you do by gosh the thing must have been took 20 years ago. So come on get real you are who you are quit putting pictures up there and are not you now. And just want somebody to want you for the way your are now!  | |
|
| |
EHA
|
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 123 | |
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 8/9/2006 12:06:27 AM | Tallgirl is right....you definitely have to have a picture posted otherwise you will not get a decent response... Imy profile is very specific on what in a man, I also state on there if they don't have a picture posted i will not respond, you should try posting your picture and of would be so much easier for you ..... men aren't the only ones that do it women do it as well...
E- | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 8/9/2006 5:11:07 AM | EHA, work with me here. I would guess, after looking at how clearly you define things in your profile, that you hear from mostly men who fill the bill, with the occasional wannabe thrown in there. Your specific age range, likes, etc... pretty much spells it out.
Add to that the fact that you are gorgeous, have an incredible figure and such a happy smile, and I don't see you wanting for opportunity.
See if I was 20 years younger and not 2500 miles away...
In my case, trust me when I tell you that posting a photo would do nothing to enhance my prospects... | |
|
| Why do Men ask to see your pics then NEVER talk to you again....?
Posted: 8/9/2006 6:02:16 AM | | Well the truth is woman can be as shallow as men when it comes to looks and pictures. I ti snot just a man thing. But with age should come wisdom. By that I mean I am 46 years old the older I get the less the picture means to me. Hell I am not 21 any more nor do I expect the woman i date to be 21 either. Call me a romantic or a bit to logical but lol I chipped a corner piece of my tooth off a few weeks ago I have not got IT fixed yet. Been way to busy running my business and raising two kids an a mother they is very suck. But one woman lol it quote TURNED her off LOL. Come on now my tooth will get fixed a very very minor flaw. But some people search for perfection here on the Internet what I have seen more of is they are repeating the same mistakes they made before. example one woman I met and did like complained how men she has married and dated did not treat her well and were alcoholic's. Well he had met once and she had actually been talking to another man as much as me. So she met me then the next day met this man at a local park where a BBQ was going on the guy was drunk when she got there but she agreed to meet him again. She started dating him and told me so I appreciated that. I got an email from her yesterday after months telling me how she made a mistake and the guy was a drunk no job and was arrested for domestic violence. Now she said she wanted to day me see me again. My response was no maybe I was wrong but it was my decision. So do not lump all men into a certain group oh and for you woman and men out there who put average body style that does not mean 5 foot 2 and 170 pounds at least in my book. Did you think we would not notice when we met lol I met one like that months ago but I was polite and gracious and I did tell her I was not interested. | |
|
Home
login 
