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htarw
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Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 101 | |
| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:26:38 PM | | I think it depends also on lifestyle. I'm athletic & fit, and do alot of activities....i would be annoyed being with someone that doesn't live at least remotely similar to my lifestyle. Plus, it's just really weird as a man, being with a woman that is heavier than you. I know it's old fashioned, but a woman should be smaller than a man. If the guy telling you that you are too overweight is big himself, than that's unfair. It's like the pot calling the kettle back in that case. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 4/14/2007 2:22:59 PM | LOL I figured you would say something stupid like that coming from you lol
Listen poor bear you can’t make anyone like you I hate to say it, people do I have preferences
When it comes to dating but all I can say is that if you have a strong personality and confidences
You can do pretty much anything you want look at my friend he is pretty much over weight but he has a girlfriend that looks like a million $ and why because he has confidences and he showed her that
And he is losing weight for himself and not for her and she knows that but she loves him the way he is
But he wants to lose weight because of his heart,
So have confidences and show that you can handle your own then you will see that there is a guy for you, | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 4/14/2007 3:29:11 PM | Notice you talked about an overweight MAN and his self-confidence. Read my post above how the media makes it acceptable that a bloated baffoon can very well be with a nice thin woman. I think this is part of the problem really... overweight women are rarely ever portrayed in a positive light... hence the lack of self esteem from this group.
When I was fat, my self esteem was down in the dumps. Now I maintain a healthy body weight because I know how much my self esteem is tied to this. It affects me on every level: sex drive, socially, energy, overall happiness... So I've learned to control my caloric intake. I allow for a one day of junk/fast food so that I don't deprive myself. I work out. It's not always easy, but the benefits outweigh the sheer pleasure of gluttony. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all large women are overeaters, but studies demonstrate again and again that only about 10% of overweight or obese people have some sort of hormonal or metabolic disorder.
So in then end, if you're happy with the way you are, your self esteem is intact, then why change? | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 4/14/2007 10:01:56 PM | Well one thing I can say is that I know some guys that are very good that prefer having a girl that had junk in her trunk. So really over weight people chose to be over weight and feel sorry for them self’s
And at the same time they wonder why guys or girls don’t want to take them
I mean people should change if they want to change,
And I know some over weight girls that are very beautiful I mean wow and they have a boyfriend
And they won’t change for anyone but when you feel sorry for your self then no one will want to
Be with you or them, I like skinny woman junk in the trunk woman and I love body builders
That’s me it all depends on there personality and there beauty with in and out
So take it for what it is worth don’t feel sorry for your self take responsibility in your weight
In your daily life and as well your confidence. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 4/16/2007 10:38:49 AM | a Nautilus Plus membership is only 18 bucks a month if you don't get the personal trainer. I put on a little weight over the past couple years and I am getting off now.
The cost really isn't prohibitive and there's really no reason to stay fat if you are fat.
If I was going to go out with a fat woman, I would say, ok, you're fat, what are you doing to correct that?
If they say nothing, then screw them. I put on some weight, and my doctor told me to get it off so I am.
A food abuser is just like a drug abuser or an anything else abuser.
I would go out with a drug abuser(if she was hot), but I would still expect that I'm going to have some massive problems(like money missing from your wallet at random times, or winding up seeing her doing porn on the internet). You have to expect that if you are willing to go out with them. The same is true of really fat people except with a different set of problems. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 5/10/2007 6:57:53 PM | | Well, to start with, if she cares about herself and is willing to change…but not for me or someone else, but for herself--her own health and happiness. As with anything one desires to accomplish in life; until the decision is made that a change must occur (usually brought about by an epiphany) our situation will remain status quo. AND, the catalyst sparking that burning desire to change may come from many sources. It does not matter if it is the desire to have a successful love relationship. It does not matter if it is manifested from a book, a movie, a whim, or even a harsh comment from another person. But once it is internalized and made a part of ones fiber, (that desire to make a change for oneself) you will no longer see yourself as a fat person, a broke person, an unattractive person, or whatever is a detriment in your life. You will see yourself the way you want to be and that is key. You will make the desired change. BUT, to reiterate—it will only happen when we (ourselves) make the finally DECISION and live it. I conclude by saying, I have found that most people are beautiful in one way or another and have something beneficial to share if you are willing to open their book and read a few chapters. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:20:04 PM | | SHOW THIS CLOWN THE STREET,IF HE WANTS YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW,THEN HES ALWAYS GOIN TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT,SOME WOMAN ARE JUST DIFFERENT,THATS OK,WOMAN WITH A LITTLE EXTRA IS A GOOD THING | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/13/2007 1:30:53 PM | I posted this on another thread and thought it was relevant here, as well!
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After reading several BBW threads I felt like I had to comment on one of them! First of all, I'm a BBW! I'm a fiery redhead with ivory skin and green/hazel eyes ... and I think I'm the hottest woman on the planet! I'm educated, can outsing most female recording artists today and have a heart of gold. I'm a decent writer and have been told I should go into comedy! I can laugh at myself, inspite of myself! I guess the best way to describe me physically is I'm an "oversized hourglass" ... in other words, I'm heavy but my measurements are proportionate. I'm not a BBW because I sit on my butt all day, watching soap operas, fantasizing about some buff guy, eating bon-bons and whining about how life has given me the shaft! I'm a BBW because, since I was a small child, I've had some health issues that require medication ... one of those being Prednisone, which is a steriod ... that make it impossible to ever be thin and live a pain free life. It's one or the other so I choose pain free! I eat healthy foods, chicken/turkey, fish (when I can force it down because I'm not a big fan of seafood), fresh fruits and veggies, and when I feel the need to have something sweet, it's usually a single scoop of lite or fat free ice cream or sugar free pudding. I have a 70 pound dog that takes me for a mile walk twice a day ... and when I get him outside I better be ready to run!
That being said ..... YES! Men can fall in love/be attracted to heavier women. It's all about preferences! Some men are born to love thin women and that's OK! Other men are born to love heavy women and that's OK, too! Just as we women have certain criteria we use to "screen" men, they have criteria they look for in us. Most of my girlfriends have a certain "type" they look for in a mate: My BBW friend simply loves the big, teddy bear cowboys and would not hear of dating a short, thin man. My sister, who is about a size 5, is attracted to short, preppy, cleancut guys who wear glasses and is turned off by muscled up gym boys. While I would like to think I don't have a "type" I've always leaned towards the bad boys ... bikers, musicians, rogue cowboys ... you know! The kind of guy your mother would cringe at if you brought home! Still, if a guy is kind, considerate, generous, honest, has a good heart and can MAKE ME LAUGH, I'll go out with him! If he's not my "type" and I don't accept the date, I may be missing out on the guy that is my perfect match! I don't want to take that risk ...
When the right man comes along ... and believe me, he will come along ... he will love you FOR EVERY PART OF YOU, INSIDE AND OUT, and will tell all his friends that you are the most beautiful woman on the planet. He's not going to tell you he loves you with one exception: your weight. If he loves you, he loves you ... period! Yes, there has to be a physical attraction between two people but, reality is, we don't all agree on what is attractive. My idea of an extremely handsome man may be someone that you find repulsive. It's all a matter of individual preference. That's what makes us all great ... and different!
My former boyfriend (a LTR) was a GORGEOUS man! 6' tall, a VERY muscular 200 lbs, half Caucasian/quarter Hispanic/quarter Cherokee, long thick black hair, 1000 watt smile, tats (I love 'em .. can't help it), looked like he stepped right out of a "pretty boy hairband video" kinda guy! When we went out (we lived together, btw) he always held my hand or had his arm around me and strutted around like a peacock showing off his feathers! He told everyone I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met and he was so lucky to have me! He treated me like a queen and I, in return, treated him like the king he was! It worked ... and it was amazing! Unfortunately, he passed away in February and I find myself just now starting to look again. After being treated the way he treated me, it's hard getting used to being told I'm a fat a$$ and no one will ever want me ... so I'm right there with you in the quest for a great man! I know I will find him and so will you! And to those who say all those ugly things, I just laugh it off and remember in my heart that karma will take care of them. Who knows? There may come a day when they decide they WANT to go out with me ... and what do you think I'm going to say then? LOL!! In the words of one of my favorite guys on this site, "Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option!"
I guess I just took the long way of saying that YES ... there are men who fall for BBWs. They are REAL men who understand that if you judge someone by what's on the outside you're missing the real deal to begin with ... and it's your loss! Keep your chin up, keep being yourself and don't settle for less than what you deserve simply because some smart mouth tells you you're overweight so you should "take what you can get"! You're great!!! Good luck in your search and if you want a new BBW friend, email away!! | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/13/2007 3:42:39 PM | Yes everything everyone is saying is true, but that does not mean because I prefer an average weight woman I cannot love a heavier woman, I have a heavier woman and I love her to death, it is just that I would prefer an average weight woman. It is just my preference, I’m capable of loving any size and spending the rest of my life with any size woman, but how long will the rest of this life be? I prefer it to be a longer and healthier life.
But back to the point, how can we change preference, how can we control our mind to change our preference. I am a heavy man myself and I prefer me to be slimmer, you see I even have a preference for myself. That does not mean I hate myself, It just means I prefer myself to be slimmer. Now do you prefer yourself slimmer? That is the million dollar question. Then if you prefer yourself to be a BBW and your preference is to be a BBW then you are proud to be a BBW, then I congratulate you. I prefer myself slimmer and I also prefer woman that are slimmer. So is this going to mean I’m a bad person or is it your preference to hate people that hate BBW.
What ever it is and how much I love my BBW, I will always have a preference. If you have the magic drug to change that, please give me the prescription so that I can be cured. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/13/2007 8:28:10 PM | Hi Poooh,
First off, let me state that I too am a BBW and on more than one occasion, my weight has been an issue in a relationship. What I've come to realize however, is that my weight, like his receeding hairline, ugly toes or whatever, are part of who he is. The bottom line is, who cares? We are more than the sum of our parts! Who is he to judge you? Does he not have flaws, faults and imperfections? We each lead our lives to our own satisfaction and if your weight is impeding your desired lifestyle, then do something about it, if not and you are comfortable being you, enjoy!
Poooh, "wishing" that he would accept you won't make it happen, unfortunately. He needs to be a man who can see beyond weight and see you for you - just as how you enjoy his company, despite his faults - which I'm sure he has. Our weight issue is one that is obvious to the outside world unlike other people's shortcomings which are often hidden and unfortunately only surface after some time is invested, ie dishonesty, addiction, etc. I'm a, "what you see is what you get kinda gal" and very comfortable with that.
There are websites devoted to BBW's and their admirers, why not try there?
It would be his loss, not yours.
Best of luck to you...
Pre. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/28/2007 10:34:03 AM | I didn't read through all the posts, so I don't know if its been mentioned.
Regardless of acceptance of ones weight and regardless of the attraction (some men definately love it), its really not healthy. Its not good for your heart, not good for you ankles or knees, not good for your self esteem... (for some)
There are a lot of reasons to lose the weight... not every woman can be thin. Genetics do play a role in this... but I imagine that all women could be 'average'. By that I mean, not very overweight, but a little extra.
Its a good idea... you will probably live longer and healthier. You will probably attract more men. (if thats your goal) And I have one more thought which is...
If your boyfriend wants you to lose weight, why don't the two of you work out together. It could be made into something fun. It doesn't need to be the gym either. You could bike, run, swim, play sports, and of course my personal favorite, have lots of sex.  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/9/2007 11:43:53 AM | About the OP...I was once in a similar position with a man who I was good friends with. We had a great deal in common, enjoyed each other's company, went out, had fun together. Everything was fine, except he had hangups about my appearance. He knew that I have a condition that was only diagnosed recently that kept me from losing weight even with an active and healthy lifestyle, and is now being dealt with through medication. Yet he couldn't get over the weight, not because he thought I was unattractive, but because he was worried about what other people thought. I thought he would change, yet over time, he got more superficial. He did notice that, after taking medication, I was losing weight, yet that wasn't enough. The last thing he said to me was that, according to him, I needed a breast reduction  .. I knew I needed to lose 175 pounds quick, and so I dropped it in the form of him, and I have been better off for it.
Honestly, to the OP, get rid of your buddy, because chances are, if he isn't willing to deal with one "imperfection," he's got major issues. Too many people feel like they're entitled to what is perfection in their mind's eye, and don't realize that others have to overlook shortcomings in them, too. Relationships are partially chemistry but mostly work, and there is no such thing as perfect - people change over time, and one never knows if the problems they criticize others for will become theirs. Even if you did lose the weight, he may find something else not to like, because he is the problem and not you. There are men who are not so hung up on weight, or even prefer larger women...it happens and more than we think. Otherwise, how else do we see so many big women paired up with someone? If you are looking to lose weight, that's fine, but do it healthfully and do it for yourself, and not for a man who clearly isn't worth it. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/14/2007 8:05:13 PM |
Can I have suggestions on what I can do. I care for him and wish he would accept me the way I am.
I'm going to be mean for just a second, just one I promise, after that I'll be nice.
Here goes, What can you do? Stop looking for acceptance from this guy, from any man or from anyone else for that matter.
This post isn't about this guy, it's about you. Do you like being who you are? Do you look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful", Wear a dress that clings a bit and tell yourself "I'm looking hot." Do you try to meet guys with the confidence that you are beautiful and that if one of them doesn't like the fact that you are the way you are then someone else will?
From your post I'm going to assume that you don't do any of these things, I'm going to assume that you mope at every failed connection, pine over guys who can't accept you and don't love yourself when you look in the mirror.
Assuming this, there is only one thing you can do, stop moping and change, I'm not talking diet du jour here.
I'm talking a full on evaluation of what you don't like about yourself, followed by a steady and hard work towards fixing it, starting with the simpler ones and moving on to bigger things as you succeed. looking at your failures in this process as a way of gaging where you are in your process.
I'm talking about kicking your own ass every day and moving forward until you are able to do the things that I mentioned above. Sure some days will be rough, some days you may cheat and do nothing, but in the long run you do your best to stay on the path until the day where you like who you are.
screw all those people talking about health benefits of losing weight, or losing weight for that guy's sake. If you do things for dumb reasons like that, it will crush you if something happens and you don't get what you want.
But if you do it for yourself, then the only person you can disappoint is yourself, and the only way to disappoint yourself, is to give up. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/14/2007 8:17:21 PM |
Notice you talked about an overweight MAN and his self-confidence. Read my post above how the media makes it acceptable that a bloated baffoon can very well be with a nice thin woman. I think this is part of the problem really... overweight women are rarely ever portrayed in a positive light
I had this very same argument thrown at me during a debate on extreme feminism, male chauvinism and the media with an acquaintance once on international womens day on another forum.
Her view, like yours is that the media makes it acceptable for men to be large/ugly, yet be popular/get good roles/romance but that women have to be thin and beautiful in order to get the same popularity good roles/romances.
She did not appreciate it when I posted a link to about 20-30 pictures I gathered of women in the media who are large and on varying scales of beauty, and who get very good roles, as well as having good love lives in some cases both on and off sets.
After several men and women agreed with that post the thread magically disappeared and she has not spoken to me since.  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/16/2007 6:00:24 PM | What I really resent are these specious claims by extreme feminists that somehow my attraction to women is totally influenced by the mainstream media and the images they present to me.
Somehow, I'm incapable of making my own choices about what turns me on, and that, free of the diabolic influence of conspiratorial corporate advertisers, which I'm apparently too weak to resist, I would suddenly and definitively find larger women attractive.
Well, sorry to disappoint, but it ain't true! | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:50:09 PM | How did this thread become about feminists???
I guess I missed a curveball somewhere...lol
I think it's just simple:
Guys be attracted to whoever you wish!
BBWs, green bug-eyed aliens or whomever!
Whoever you are attracted to, you're attracted to...
C'est la vie!
...And that's all she wrote!
Poetica  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/19/2007 1:11:43 AM | Posted: 4/14/2007 9:06:41 AM
Blame the media!
King of Queens: Fat guy with gorgeous slim woman.
According to Jim: same thing
Remember Fresh Prince of Belair: again same example
The one show starring a fat woman, Roseanne: she was matched by an equally fat man.
in case you haven't noticed, the one thing your simple summary got in common is: they all are comedy's and made this way on purpose to be funny by causing contradictions.
it also shows that fat men are more accepted in society than fat women. especially since men intend to work out more than women to compensate for lack of personality or other things...
... IMHO very alarming, if you ask me....
greetings
kai  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/19/2007 2:09:24 AM |
Blame the media!
King of Queens: Fat guy with gorgeous slim woman.
According to Jim: same thing
Remember Fresh Prince of Belair: again same example
The one show starring a fat woman, Roseanne: she was matched by an equally fat man.
During the time that Roseanne was on John Goodman wasn't really fat, he was chubby, but had a hell of a lot of muscle too. And by the way, the man that Roseanne was married to at the time while not the best looking man in the world was built like a brick wall.
He was also an ***hole but that another issue altogether.
Allow me to give you an inverse example though.
Catwoman: (yes I'm aware the movie sucked but I saw it anyway.) The chubby best friend winds up living with the hot doctor.
Taxi: (The American version) Queen Latifa is dating a muscular handsome man.
Hairspray: (the version with Rikki Lake) Has her winning over a good looking guy due to her skill and personality.
I'm not denying that the media does indeed push thin women onto us, but they also push thin men and tiny children too.
Look at the roles most large men get, the gibbering idiot, the lazy **stard, the comedic relief, the simpleton, the dad who doesn't know how to take care of himself and thus is an obstacle despite himself to his kid leaving to pursue their dream.
Even when they do get a lead role it's treated as a joke.
Even in your examples, other than fresh prince of belair, if the husband is fat, he's automatically an idiot.
So the moral the media is giving is don't marry a fat guy because you'll be marrying an idiot.
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The problem is the media is run by people who are brainless and soulless, there's no money to be made in letting people be who they want to be; money is made using excess, guilt and sensationalism.
You throw food commercials constantly, make junk easily accessible, then using movies and TV you make people feel guilty about eating too much and becoming something else than what they decide to be normal and beautiful, cue sensational new diets and surgery procedures than promise to make you look like that anorexic woman in that sappy chick flick you just saw or the metabolism boosters that will make you look like the action hero who just blew up an entire city block using his bare hands. (quite a feat considering hands usually don't make things explode)
Heck, look at the teen flicks, the "ugly" girl is usually only ugly because she doesn't conform to the current fashion trend, once she gets a makeover (i.e. is made to look like whatever the current teen magazines say girls should look like.) all of a sudden she is absolutely gorgeous and the hunk du jour is all over her.
Face it, the media does this to make money, not because they think thin is attractive. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/19/2007 7:06:31 AM | but point is you should feel guilty about eating too much, unless you appreciate obesity. there is no challenge in gaining weight, but in losing.
the reason why there is so many fat people in comedy's is much more simple than you are trying to make it look like. comedy is a mirror to your society, thats why it makes us laugh. it also reflects that we have a overweight society and most became fast-food junkies.
that all said you shouldn't forget what this topic is about. it's about someone who feels rejected for being overweight. i would just say, if you like him so much and are so concerned about your weight, why don't you just ask him to help you to lose it? it's just an idea, but i would think that there is something you both have in common and could bond together over it. he might be able to give you the moral support and the initial spark to do something about it. no one expects from you to shape down to super model size (that would be rather alarming), but to just simply lose a few pounds here and there to just feel better. to be able to put socks on while standing and not getting the sweats.
i know a couple, the kowalski's. back then when i met them the first time, they where already married for over 20 years and i am certain its one of the happiest couples in the world. She has a thin to average body type and told me something from the past that makes me think until today. they loved each other very much from the beginning and he told her back then "if you will lose weight and hold it, i will marry you". she was BBW and lost weight and now they are married for over 40 years and are still as happy. every time i see them together i get envious. point is, she had the same problem as the the OP and now look how happy they are. 
best regards
kai | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/20/2007 3:58:06 AM |
But point is you should feel guilty about eating too much, unless you appreciate obesity. there is no challenge in gaining weight, but in losing.
Wrong, no one should feel guilty about anything unless it's a criminal act. Nor should a person change themselves for the sake of another.
I work in the downtown core of Montreal, I'm on a personal quest to lose weight myself, not because someone told me to or because I feel guilty, there are reasons that are my own as to why I gained this weight, and they aren't as easy as "I ate too much." In the past few months I've taken walks around my workplace, You can count the places that sell healthy food on one hand, yet you can't count how many junk food places there are unless you have a pen and paper.
- Tv, movies, magazines all assault you with food adverts
- Jobs are sucking up more and more time out of peoples lives
- More and more jobs require less and less physical activity, yet cause more stress.
- Buying pre-made junk in the supermarkets is sometimes less expensive than buying healthy ingredients to make your own lunches.
Not making excuses here, just showing some of the social and economical reasons behind the rise in obesity. On top of that, the guilt that you say people should be feeling, well it's actually promoting a cause for obesity.
Some people don't fit the proposed mold, they are 10-30lbs over the stick figure models that the media says they should be, thus they are ridiculed or they hate themselves.
So they eat more because they find comfort in food, or in some cases they find pain in food by eating more than their stomach can hold and use it as a way to punish themselves for their guilt. The gain more weight, and it just gets worse and worse.
As for appreciating obesity, first you have to tell me what you think obesity is.
And losing weight is simple mathematics, Spend more energy than you consume.
"if you will lose weight and hold it, i will marry you"
What if Mr Kowalski said, If you get a breast augmentation surgery to an H cup, I'll marry you. Nose Job? inflat'o'lips (collagen lip augmentation for those who don't understand)?
What If he'd said, I'll marry you if you start wearing certain types of clothing all the time.
What if he'd said, if you have a sex change I'll marry you. or if you allow me to have a second wife and you have sex with her for me I'll marry you.
I'm glad that your friends are happy, guess being a doormat for her husband made her marriage a happy one.
Personally, if someone tells me, if you lose weight and hold it I'll marry you, I don't care that she's a woman, she will get my foot up her ass as I'm showing her the door.
The only person that should influence a persons change, is themselves, and their doctor. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:25:07 AM |
The only person that should influence a persons change, is themselves, and their doctor.
I don't completely agree with that.
An exgirlfriend of mine was a cutter... she was careful and she was clean... she never got hurt... but for whatever reason, she liked to cut her arm and watch it bleed. I did not agree with it, I thought it was not healthy and she was part of my life, so I exerted my influence to discourage it... and I think I was within my rights to do so. See, when you are in a committed relationship with someone, you are a team, and both members of the team affect the other... so both of their viewpoints should be considered. | |
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