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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/22/2007 10:46:34 AM | I'm not saying you can't change for someone else, we all do it to some extent. But to really accept a change you have to do it for yourself. But you can do it for both reasons at the same time.
I know people who quit smoking because their current SO's wanted them to, when they broke up, these people went right back into it with a vengeance.
Same thing for people who lost weight for the same reason as this woman, people who were just 20-30lbs overweight but when the person still rejected them after they had lost that weight they sunk back into food, some actually went into the morbidly obese range because of it.
Of course I know people who were perfectly fine after not getting what they want too, but it's human psychology, you can't predict how someone will react to being told "do this and I'll love you." and then not getting it, or hell even if they do get it, how will the person feel inside.
But when you do something for your own sake, then the only feeling you get when you succeed, is a feeling of accomplishment.
I agree with you however that when you are with someone you try to play as a team and both views should be considered, but that's where it becomes different.
1) She's not in a committed relationship with him, they are friends.
2) Consideration means talking about things until both people understands the reasons behind each viewpoint. Once all points are considered then decisions are made, your girl could have decided to continue cutting herself if that had been her preference. Then you would have had to make a choice of accepting it or leaving her.
3) He's not doing it for her betterment, he is dangling a carrot on a stick and saying "if you make changes to your body to have a body type that I like, I will let you have this carrot."
4) Letting yourself be changed for the sake of someone else or making someone change for your sake is a form of peer pressure. It breeds resentment.
The fact that she's coming here in distress, telling us her story and asking for advice, suggests that a part of her isn't ready to change yet, and to me this signifies that if she changes for him, and he decides to go for another woman while she's attempting to change, she is going to self destruct.
I the case of your woman who cut herself, since I don't know her current situation I can only make an educated guess. She saw your viewpoint, looked at her habit and saw that maybe it was an unhealthy one and changed it for your sake and hers. At least I hope that's what happened.
See the difference between the two case, that's why the suggestion I made to the OP was worded as such. If she wants him, she has to change, but if she can't look at herself and say I want to change, not for him, but for me. Then she's not ready to change and she should give up on having a relationship with him.
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I'll say this though, I mentioned in a previous post about people who eat their guilt to the point of feeling pain as punishment for said guild.
I'm one of those persons who tried to change for the sake of others, I also tried to change to conform to what the media and other people said I should be. And the rebound weight gains from this were bad because I was one of those people who ate to the point of pain, and then ate some more.
I'm talking 6- 10 full meals a day, most of my income went on food and when I was at my worst in terms of weight, I was 340lbs and felt like I should just end things because I could barely function, Walking from peel/maisoneuve to delamontagne/rene levesque would kill my back, to the point where I had to hold onto things.
I took a good look at myself and said "this isn't what *I* want to be, **** what everyone else thinks of me, *I* want to lose this weight, I want to go on walks again, buy a bike and go all over Montreal on it like I used to, Go swimming for hours and hours just for the hell of it lke I used to, go to the gym and train just because I like it, not because I feel I should."
I got weighed 2 Fridays ago as part of my sign up evaluation for the gym. I'm currently at 256lbs and I feel great, my goal is 200lbs but that's not the reason I joined the gym, I did it because I want to work on my endurance and stamina, so I can bike longer and so I can do my job longer too.
And I know that I'll reach those goals because I set them, and I want to reach them, I also know that when I reach my desired weight, and reach my other goals, I will maintain them because I am doing all this for myself.
Blah, I write way too much and I don't even think the op is following the topic anymore :P | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:03:33 PM | Gee_m,
Neah... you don't write too much... and I think you have great wisdom there. I agree with you that people need to change for themselves. I was just adding that I do feel that when people are together they can try to influence each other.
But at the end, obviously, each of us has to choose for ourselves.
I want to congratulate you on what you have achieved so far. I think thats awesome and I know you will acheive your goal. :) | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/23/2007 12:54:49 PM | Today I went to the hospital, I took a look at the emergency room, and it was full over the capacity limit. I counted how many people were over weight and I counted how many were average, I imagined if we were to eliminate all the over weight people how many people would be in the emergency, I counted 11 out of 200 who were not overweight.
Some BBW are loved and have children and have everything they ever wanted and respond to threads like this with negativity towards people that don’t appreciate over weight, those are the ones that are to comfortable with there life that don’t need to struggle with all the BBW negativity around them so they feel confident and don’t need to lose weight because they have what makes them happy, because they are the lucky ones but in the end they will also end up in the emergency room at the hospital.
I bet we all know someone that was healthy and after they get married and secure they let go and gain weight. Oh yes blame it on the kids? What about us guys when we gain weight, should we blame it on the kids also?
I understand some people have health conditions and can’t help it if they gain weight, but what about the 95 percent that don’t have health problems.
Okay this thread is about what does it take for a man to be attracted to a BBW.
My answer is? It depends on the man.  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/24/2007 2:08:53 PM | Just a quick note to Scatterbrain.
Go do some research and you'll probably find that we women have a harder time keep weight off, unfortunately, much due to estrogen. Estrogen is all about keeping fat on us, some of us more than others, which is why we don't lose weight as quickly as men do (in general). And baby weight? I think someone that has never given birth and all that entails and what it does to your body can't really comment on that. (and that includes myself as well as yourself).
As for the hospitals. Not every overweight person spends their life in a hospital. I do periodically because of my lung issues (which I have had since I was a baby, and I wasn't overweight when I was a kid), but considering the amount of exercise I get up to, it has nothing to do with being sedentary and everything to do probably with my mom smoking when preggers with me. I hardly see the doc except for my asthma related things...so that's sort of a blanket statement.
Maybe I'm not overweight enough....don't know what in hell I would be considered and don't much give a crap either... If ya don't like what you're looking at, then dude, look elsewhere!
And a note to the gentleman who is working on losing weight for himself..... Good on ya!!!! It's the best feeling, and getting to the point of actually enjoying the execercise you're doing is a hard road, but if I can do it, we all can (I have become a junkie for the post-exerise high!) You've worked hard and deserve all the kudos possible.
That's all.
Just hate those blanket statements. "All overweight people smell". Well few friends of mine smell of some pretty expensive perfume, I myself prefer basic floral or sea scents.......
No one likes everyone...and if they don't like me, then tough beans I say! | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/24/2007 11:04:45 PM | If he really cares deeply about you ,then weight is not an issue. I am overweight myself and I know how hard it is to find someone who can see past the weight,but when they do it is magical.
I also happen to be someone who thinks that BBW's are simply stunning..and from the few I have been with are amazing lovers. And the best part of a larger lady is more curves to love and admire,but the very best is how caring and loving she could be.
Your guy should learn to just enjoy being with you,weight is just a number on a scale,not anything found in your heart. Sorry I am feeling romantic and lovable so this might sound sappy...lol.Good luck with love. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/25/2007 1:32:26 AM |
Today I went to the hospital, I took a look at the emergency room, and it was full over the capacity limit. I counted how many people were over weight and I counted how many were average, I imagined if we were to eliminate all the over weight people how many people would be in the emergency, I counted 11 out of 200 who were not overweight.
The last time I went to the emergency room, 2 years ago due to a broken hand I noted that most over 80% of the people waiting were of color. I waited from 6pm to 4am to get my hand in a cast.
A year or two before that than I got a UTI the emergency rom was mostly filled with kids and old people.
The emergency rooms are always over filled, why? People get sick and people are arrogant and stupid, they think that every little thing is worth wasting the time of the already short emergency room staff.
Your comment on obese being sick all the time is unfounded, I get sick once a year, and most of the time it's stupid allergies so I tough it out and buy a lot of tissues. I'm not going to waste the emergency room's time unless there is a whole lot of pain involved.
People eat pills like they eat candy, it lowers their immune system since the pills are fighting the battles for them. So they get sick more often. If people stopped giving their kids medicine for every little thing if they let kids be sick as dongs for a little while and tough it out with OJ and soup, we'd have a much healthier society.
Some BBW are loved and have children and have everything they ever wanted and respond to threads like this with negativity towards people that don’t appreciate over weight
And some people should be allowed to comment on threads when all they contribute is insulting comments and generalities that were bred into them through the media and often do it on purpose to rile others up. And this is in any type of thread, not just the ones about BBW's
I understand some people have health conditions and can’t help it if they gain weight, but what about the 95 percent that don’t have health problems.
I've mentioned these before in longer posts, weight gain is based on.
- Physical Health
- Mental Health
- Societal Health
- Metabolism
- General Lifestyle (work, home, etc.)
- Media / Life positioning ( Junk restaurants everywhere you go, not a lot of time to cook, etc. )
- Energy Input vs Energy output, which is also linked to metabolism.
If your metabolic rate + the energy you spend Energy you consume then the body will break down stored fats to provide the missing energy thus you have weight loss.
Thats why people say healthy food is better for dieting, healthy food has less energy per serving than junk food.
I'm using a simple term like energy because I really don't feel like explaining all the different types of components in food and what each of them does. Would take at least a week and even then I wouldn't be able to explain them all. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/25/2007 7:11:52 PM |
The emergency rooms are always over filled, why? People get sick and people are arrogant and stupid, they think that every little thing is worth wasting the time of the already short emergency room staff.
Your comment on obese being sick all the time is unfounded, I get sick once a year, and most of the time it's stupid allergies so I tough it out and buy a lot of tissues. I'm not going to waste the emergency room's time unless there is a whole lot of pain involved.
People eat pills like they eat candy, it lowers their immune system since the pills are fighting the battles for them. So they get sick more often. If people stopped giving their kids medicine for every little thing if they let kids be sick as dongs for a little while and tough it out with OJ and soup, we'd have a much healthier society
Oh I am so going to agree with you on the above. Seriously...it drives me insane what people go to the hospital for. When I go, it's because I'm not breathing (although thankfully the pneumologist has that well taken care of now), and breathing is a good thing to sustain life I'm told. And I feel guilty the whole time I'm there for taking everyone's time. Sigh.
As for pills...here here. The overuse of antibiotics is why people like myself end up with walking pneumonia from a cold....bacteria is becoming resistant. So I end up being given horse pills to get rid of it, 3 courses, 5th or 6th generation antibiotics. And come just THIS close to ending up in hospital.
Has f-all to do with being overweight, and everything to do with people being unable to handle the flu or a cold and bullying the docs to give them antibiotics for viral illnesses that antibiotics don't even fix (nothing but time does in fact).
My wide butt has nothing to do with it.
Ok, time for my 10k walk :) | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/26/2007 2:07:24 PM | Well, to be honest he should love you no matter you are a BBW or thin !
RIGHT! 
however, he may likes you even more AND/OR if she loves him enough she will try to lose weight anyways. now, be honest to yourself, she tried it in the past anyways and was maybe just looking for a good reason (excuse?) to follow thru... after all we do agree that even if so many BBW say about them selfs they love it just like that, we do know they are talking about personality and not in "rings" or health.
i have so much to say about this and so little time... i will try to make it short and just go to the essentials. i myself gained weight since my last relationship. i know about hormones but men have the same problem AND top it with laziness. i dont even wanna go there and attempt to decide who got it harder and who not, but one thing is for sure, fat men are more excepted in society than fat women and thats very unfortunate.
Gee_m, i understand your point of view as well and you must have had really bad relationship that made you so bitter about it. only one thing i would like to make you try to understand. obesity isn't in your gens, it comes with parenting, psychosomatics's, bad habits and excuses about food/ life/society(thats right, not only "friends") and there is no excuse to not try. yes, its a sickness and yes for some people its like suicide. you apparently have NO idea how many doctors had to tell their patients how long they can survive the wrong food... in years and sometimes in months...
and one more thing, being fat or thin has nothing to do with how much you love a person, BUT trying to make yourself look more sexy to that person by adjusting does and especially if it extends your lifespan.
greetings from montreal   | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 7/26/2007 5:42:34 PM |
Gee_m, i understand your point of view as well and you must have had really bad relationship that made you so bitter about it.
It wasn't just the relationship, the relationship was just the last straw and it's not about being bitter, I was punishing myself.
only one thing i would like to make you try to understand. obesity isn't in your gens, it comes with parenting, psychosomatics's, bad habits and excuses about food/ life/society(thats right, not only "friends") and there is no excuse to not try. yes, its a sickness and yes for some people its like suicide.
You are both absolutely wrong and absolutely right, your wrong in saying that it's not in your genes, and your right in every part that I've previously said but you conveniently chose to ignore.
No offense meant, but all the points you've tried to make "make me understand" I've said in my previous posts and you aren't going to make me understand anything unless you bring in some radical information that no one has ever mentioned before anywhere in the world.
Genetics do play a factor in weight gain, from our lack of evolutionary movement away from our predecessors, to new mutations in our genetic code, these things are slowly being identified. They don't count for all of it but they do count. Another example of genetic is what I've talked about before, Metabolic rate.
I'm going to be an ass now and get technical just because I feel like it today :P
Metabolic rate is the variance in speed of the various systems in our body when each one is active and inactive. It controls the flow of blood, oxygen, heart rate, and the speed/efficiency at which each organ performs it's functions. Especially the processing of food, turning it into the various proteins, and cells that we need for the body to function.
Each person's metabolism is unique due to their unique physical makeup and physical behavior. There are a number of medical and non medical components that can change the metabolic rate but even then these changes are personal for each individual.
In lamens terms, if you take two people, and have them follow the exact same eating and activity patterns you will get two different results, how different depends on the variation between the two people.
I've known guys who eat 4-6 times a day, eat junk (one guy said and I quote "I don't believe in fruits, I haven't eaten fruits since I was 10 and I barely even touch vegetables") do absolutely no physical activity beyond getting to work and surviving, yet they stay at or around their perfect weight, and have bodies that while aren't model potential, have women look and appreciate when they pass by.
I've known guys who have tried everything to put on weight, gym, eating right, eating wrong, doing nothing all day, eating more, eating less, protein drinks, lots of physical activity of every kind. Their body remains stick thin, not even any muscle definition.
I've also seen guys who go to the gym daily, eat 3 square healthy meals a day, are regulated created by certified dietitians and personal trainers., They've been big since birth, it only got worse as they grew up despite their efforts to counteract it and the weight just will not come off. They are fit as a bull but shaped like a piece of dough.
And you're telling me genes don't have anything to do with it? please, go pander your bull to someone else.
you apparently have NO idea how many doctors had to tell their patients how long they can survive the wrong food... in years and sometimes in months...
I happen to have an outstanding family doctor, I'd recommend him to you but he's not taking any new clients.
As for surviving on the wrong food, you can survive your entire life on it if you want. 
being fat or thin has nothing to do with how much you love a person, BUT trying to make yourself look more sexy to that person by adjusting does and especially if it extends your lifespan.
Again with the lifespan, get this in your head people, big does not mean unhealthy, and it doesn't mean you'll die faster.
Take diabetes for example, diabetes is shown to be more prevalent in fat people; why? because one of the things that is turned into fat is sugar, and people everywhere eat way too much sugar to begin with.
Cells have thousands of receptors, think of them as antennae, they have different sizes and shapes, and are used to catch chemicals of the same shape and size.
When someone eats, their blood sugar rises, if it rises above a certain level, a chemical is released to neutralize the excess, this chemical is caught by the proper receptors in all the cells of the body. When a person eats pure sugar(candy, soda, etc) their blood sugar goes through the roof, and the person gains a quick burst of energy at the same time. the chemicals are released and the excess is eliminated, the energy they gain fades fast and usually this person winds up eating more to gain more energy, it it happens to be sugar again the whole process repeats over and over.
Eventually if the receptors keep getting more and more of those chemicals, they will stop responding, the receptors will actually fold back inside the cell and die, never to return. When the cells fail to respond to the proper chemical to lower blood sugar, due to a lack of receptors, the body keeps sending the chemical but the blood sugar remains high, high blood sugar is dangerous for a person as it has adverse effects in the body. This is diabetes in a nutshell.
Now lets apply this knowledge to what I said about metabolic rate. Knowing that metabolic rate is how fast takes food, converts it to what we need to function, and burns it away. A slower metabolic rate will thus act slower in producing and processing the chemicals necessary to get rid of high blood sugar, the longer the blood sugar remains in above it's threshold the more chemicals will be produced... Do I need to explain further or are you getting the picture?
Like everything there are extremes, those extremes are high health risks, those who are not in those extremes however can be perfectly healthy. Remember there are people who are extremely thin as well and they are just as sick as those who are extremely fat.
Even at 340lbs I was never sick unless I did something stupid like decide to move in march and not wear a coat.
In the past, larger people lived longer lives, than their skinnier counterparts they also usually had a higher status in life and in the case of women were more often considered objects of desire. But again, I'm talking about things within a certain range.
I can understand about wanting to look sexy for someone, but looking sexy means dressing up, putting on makeup, acting a certain way, and it is in the eye of the beholder, and who says that he's going to really find her sexy when she's thin. Some people look a whole lot better with extra weight.
I mentioned this before but I'll say it again, I'll make it a bit more personal even. Imagine your daughter, she's in her 20's, beautiful, healthy, she falls in a similar friendship as pooh_bear described, they get along great, can talk about everything under the sun and are generally just a good match. She wants to date him and he looks like he might want to date her too but something makes him hesitate and leaves things as just a friendship.
Then at one point during a conversation relationship discussions come up and he says, I really like you, your amazing and everything I'd want a girlfriend to be in terms of intelligence and personality, But in order for me to be attracted to you physically you'd have to get breast implants to at least an H cup minimum, get some collagen shots in your lips to plum them up, wear lots of heavy make-up and start dressing like a stripper/pornstar.
You are going to say it's not the same thing, that guy is asking her to be thin, my example is asking the girl to look like a blow up doll.
It's the same thing, do you think his request was based on her health? hell no, it's based on looks, it's based on perception, on his mind going "Man she is the most awesome woman I've ever spent time with, but what are my friends/people in the street going to think if they see me dating a whale." | |
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Sirenn
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Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 138 | |
| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 8/1/2007 8:42:48 AM | I personnaly like petit, slim, atheltic women...
BUT let me just say this...
I am WHITE 6'1, 230lbs, short dirty blond with green eyes, No TATS, no piercing.
So if a woman likes:
Women or
black or
long haired or
pierced or
Tattoed or
dark-haired or
thin
then I am plain outta luck.
I guess I am trying to say that there is someone for everyone and not to sweat it. I know I cant please all, but I can sure please some.
Cheers | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 8/1/2007 3:16:42 PM | poohbear,
I had a man like that.
I did everything for him. EVERYTHING. He was the same way - I was too fat for him.
Finally I decided to take charge.
SO I DUMPED HIM.
He'll find his little skinny woman and when she bears his children (quite unlikely he will find either the skinny woman OR have kids, but who knows...???) she'll gain the weight. He won't like that. He already told me he wouldn't know how to deal with it if is perfect little wife (in his head) gained weight.
I got rid of 240 pounds of extra weight. So refreshing!
I am working on a relationship right now with someone a LOT BIGGER than that, and you know what? He weighs on my heart lighter than a FEATHER! | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:00:07 AM | | First off,is men attracted to BBW to start with.If a BBW is trying to attract a guy,all you have to do is be honest and smile.I think BBW are trying too hard in trying to impress men.All you need to do is be yourself.Most guys aren't interested in big women because of their ego. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 8/7/2007 6:33:38 PM | Hi! Depending of your CMI (corporal mass index) and if yours is 50 and over, you can contact Dr. Nicolas Christou at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Montreal and he can certainly help you out by performing a gastric by-pass on you. This, is REAL HELP. If you are ready to do something about your weight; this is the ONE THING TO DO! Good luck!
Coralia  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 8/12/2007 12:20:42 PM | i don't think this is the right place to post adds to sell surgery and gastric by-passes. i think its actually very rude from you. you even put and angel up to make yourself look innocent...  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 9/3/2007 10:46:42 PM | I agree, it's kinda ridiculous, gastric bypass should only be used in cases where everything else failed, with gastric bypass you run the rist of endangering your health further if you don't take vitamins and boost shakes every day for the rest of your life. Plus there is a chance that it will work for a few years and then stop working entirely if the person does not change their diet.
There are some much better alternatives even when all else fails, if you are willing to change your habits a bit, like the lap band for example. Tricks the brain into thinking you are full with less food.
Downside is, you have to remember to chew your food properly all the time, if you forget it hurts like a **** and it's not pretty. And also if you keep eating junk and you don't excercise you probably won't lose weight.
Basically it retrains your body to eat/act right.
Doesn't always work for everyone but it did help me go from 350 to 252 in 2 years. Probably could have gone faster but old habits die hard, and also I don't want to lose weight too fast and have to have skin removed.
Again, these are LAST resorts nothing beats changing your eating habits and excercise. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 9/8/2007 12:17:01 PM | What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Didnt read an answer but here I will tell you how,
In order for a me to be attracted to a bbw, be yourself, I like funny, devious, honest and caring and if you had this wrapped up then you would have me.
at 18 years old I weighed in at over 35olbs at 5'7 I was depressed, angry and hurt all the time. I realized I wasnt meant to live that way so I dropped down to 180, theres still a little cushion there but I am happier about myself now. Today at 35 I would love to find a real caring, funny woman that isnt annorexic in fact has a whole lot to love.
Anyways God Bless the BBW of POF cause theres me and a lot of others that find it rather attractive not the other way round. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 11/9/2007 6:39:53 PM | | A man is attracted to a BBW if she has a good personality and if she is willing to take care of herself, if she has a good personality and does not want to take care of herself then its hopeless. This is what it takes. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 11/15/2007 4:48:39 PM | | Subject have been done to death over and over.. Yet every time we get to read some comments such as "it's a biological fact that men prefer slim women" or "overweight is unattractive". Hey guys, thats YOUR opinion, and it's ok if you think that, but why do you write statements like that as universal truths!! Overweight is unattractive to YOU, there is no proof nowhere that every single man thinks the same; as for me, I see big women with hot boyfriends all the time so...some women are attractive some arent! | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:27:43 PM | You can diet and exercise to loose the weight and trim down, but do it for yourself, not for some guy that thinks youll be worth it after you look like a supermodel, you already do look like one i bet, so take care and message me if youd like to chat, it helps when youve got someone that understands what your going through......later pooh bear | |
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