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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:07:05 PM | Lots of valid points here about the eyes. Maintaining a gaze a little longer than natural then looking away has been a means of flirting employed by women for ages.
The comment about the eyes being the window to the soul is a very valid one.
horselady48, you said:
this site is for mature adults
I know this isn't the sex and dating forum but...
Probably the most amazing time to lock eyes, and look into the soul is when making love. When "one in the flesh" locking eyes with your lover, and then kissing, has got to be the best type of communication there is. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:47:26 PM | | I know exactly what the OP is talking about. I've carried on conversations just using my eyes. I can also gauge a man's interest by the way he looks at me. Frequent eye contact communicates a great deal, if one knows how to read it correctly. If I'm around someone who can't make eye contact, I don't get great vibes from that person but, rather, feel uncomfortable. I've gone on first meets and the guys rarely made eye contact, drummed their fingers on the table, fidgeted, squirmed, sat sideways on the chair, sat with their legs crossed away from me and, generally, made me feel like I should just get up and leave. I watch the eyes and the body language - it hasn't let me down yet. To me, someone who can't look at me for longer than 2 seconds is either hiding something or is just plain not interested. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 5:08:44 PM | | This always throws me for a loop. When I was a child I got it pounded into me that looking directly into the eyes of anyone older - and this started when I was 3 or 4 - was being defiant, and if I knew what was good for me, I wouldn't do it. Ever. As a result, I have a really hard time looking into anyone's eyes, to the point where some of them probably think I'm some kind of psycho. Am I the only one on earth this happened to? | |
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Posted: 9/30/2009 5:16:25 PM | | I agree with you, OP, it works every time. I would go as far as to say that if that isn't there, I probably wouldn't be that interested. On the other hand, that's always when the spark happens for me, with that eye contact. I love it! | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 6:06:04 PM |
Eye contact is one of your most powerful tools. Your eyes can do far more talking than your words. They can make a woman feel uneasy and excited, and women use it as a huge measure of your self-confidence. During a conversation with a woman, don't dart your eyes or look away too much, as it makes you look uncomfortable and nervous. Linger longer on her eyes than you would normally, almost as if your eyes stick to hers like soft glue. This kind of strong, long-lasting eye contact releases phenylethylamine (PEA), a chemical that accelerates attraction, particularly in women. Some call this the copulatory gaze because people who love each other not only make much more eye contact while talking, but they're also more hesitant to take their eyes off each other, even after they finish speaking. And when you do look away, look away reluctantly. Drag your eyes away slowly, as though they're stuck with soft glue.
My question is, do you believe it & if not, why.
I'm impressed! This is accurate. I hope you don't take that as a back-handed compliment, but seriously, just look at some of the stuff that we get around here.
I'l add a couple of things. If you break eye contact, break to the side or even upward. Don't break by looking down.
I have a look that some women describe as looking through their eyes and out the back of their heads. There must be a physiological effect, because at short range it either makes them go all limp or writhe. It's kind of fun to do. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 6:28:30 PM | I agree.....great eye contact and a wonderful smile.
I had two different dates with men that had horrible eye contact. Both practically turned around in their chairs to avoid eye contact. The first had a girlfriend. I just asked him point blank. The second just had terrible social skills. So it either tells me that their self esteem is low.......or they are feeling guilty about something. Either way I didn't go out with either one ever again. It takes practice if you don't have social skills but you can gain that knowledge with a little bit of work every day........and I have meant shy people. But shy and horrible social skills are both different things.
Great topic........... | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 6:54:20 PM | | A lot of eye contact is great....If he is looking at my face he is showing interest and I'm open for a second date. However for those who gaze below my shoulders the second date never comes. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:17:21 PM | Twisted Sister:
Sometimes it's because some men are shy and/or don't want to be labeled as one who stares at women. There seems to be a fine line between starring and gazing enough to catch a woman's attention. The man has to sense the difference.
<< she has a great set of hooters staring at >>
Boy, a great way to make a woman feel uncomfortable and probably walk away. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:41:15 PM | | ^^^^^^ There's a big difference between eye contact and staring. At 58, a guy is shy????? That kind of shyness can make for very uncomfortable silences. Avoiding looking at someone when you are speaking to them makes the other person wonder what's wrong with you ... or what 's wrong with them. It also could make people think you're lying about something. Actually, if two people like each other, the eye contact thing seems to happen naturally. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:02:16 PM | I can also gauge a man's interest by the way he looks at me. Frequent eye contact communicates a great deal. I've gone on first meets and the guys rarely made eye contact, drummed their fingers on the table, fidgeted, squirmed, sat sideways on the chair, sat with their legs crossed away from me and, generally, made me feel like I should just get up and leave. I watch the eyes and the body language - it hasn't let me down yet.
...I think you're bang on with that observation. I can usually tell within the first few minutes if he's interested or not. Eyes and body language...a huge tell. And oh those uncomfortable silences.
...maeflowers | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:09:56 PM | if a man can't look you in the eye,
he's either painfully shy...
or he's scared of divulging something about himself that maybe you won't like...
...usually the latter.
because,
the eyes have it.
especially smiling eyes. | |
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Posted: 9/30/2009 8:56:14 PM | Oh, I'm a firm believer in eye contact. I have made it a habit through the years to look straight into someone's eyes when I'm talking to them. I don't look away, or down or sideways. I look straight into their eyes. This has helped in the business world as well as my personal life.
Wanna meet and get to know someone you find attractive? Smile at them, look straight in their eyes and introduce yourself. Works everytime. Can you tell I'm not shy?  | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:36:21 PM | Well it worked great for me until i confessed to the 2 women i was talking to that i made eye contact because i was deaf. lol
No really eye contact is one of the most important parts of communication. I also think though that eye contact sometimes makes a woman feel uncomfortable, i've had women tell me that they feel like i just had sex with them just by the way i looked into their eyes. no joke. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:39:49 PM | | Amen to that, all this stuff about needing to close your eyes when kissing is for kids, i want to see your eyes, face an expression when i'm kissing you. | |
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Posted: 10/1/2009 12:44:00 AM | bwana...
i don't know about a physiological effect...
it may have been the overpowering aroma of your aftershave that got to them...
or maybe those women hadn't taken their medication... | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 10/1/2009 2:28:47 AM |
How can you look her in the eyes when she has a great set of hooters staring at you just asking to be caressed, fondeled, & sucked?
Oh good grief are you sixteen? 
The original post is correct; works for me! Nothing worse than a man who averts his gaze all the time; makes him look shifty. I think you can tell an awful lot from someone's eyes and eye contact... | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 10/1/2009 5:03:05 AM | You know, the eye thing is so true. And if a guy moves his eyes rapidly from one side to the other, it can hypnotise female flies. On the other hand, if he moves his eyes up and down, the flies start to laugh.
(mmm, that was very farceur-like, but not as funny..lol..) | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 10/1/2009 1:13:05 PM | | Eye contact is also a great way to tell if someone is really listening to you & hearing what you say. | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 10/1/2009 1:41:24 PM | Never mind pseudo-psychology
IMHO's
1. No matter if its a male or female to whom I speak, reciprocal eye contact is essential as far as I am concerned as I was brought up with good manners -
BUT - In the context on PoF -
2. That can only be achieved if we ever get past the puerility of cyber chat and actually meet.
3. The next best thing to visual contact is to hear what each other sounds like on the telephone and converse. - A recognised psychological tip is to smile when talking on the phone, and - It works.
4. If any person talks to anyone without the courtesy or guts to look directly at the person to whom they are talking, it is a sign of insincerity and possibly deceipt, causing natural mistrust.
Just my opinions
Cheers 
Winston - Unperson of Oceania | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:01:32 PM | Eye contact is also a great way to tell if someone is really listening to you & hearing what you say.
Huh?
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 10/1/2009 3:49:24 PM |
Eye contact is also a great way to tell if someone is really listening to you & hearing what you say.
Don't knock it mr NewToMichiana,
I always look at my gal so I can hear what she is saying..
HECK sometimes I even talk to her so she can see me..
This is , of course usually at night and "under the covers"..
but heck... let's all be real quiet and "see" if we "feel" anything.
---SoldierBhyte---
Please fill up my wine glass and pass me the Prozac..
--SB-- | |
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| Gentlemen - this works ...
Posted: 10/1/2009 4:01:59 PM | ""4. If any person talks to anyone without the courtesy or guts to look directly at the person to whom they are talking, it is a sign of insincerity and possibly deceipt, causing natural mistrust.""
Not always. As I said earlier, it was beaten into me as a child to ***NVEVER*** look anyone directly in the eyes. It was "being defiant" and I learned - boy, did I ever learn! - to never ever look into anyone's eyes. It was defiant, it was hostile, it was aggressive. No matter how many times I've tried, it's very hard for me to do so even now, nearly 60 years later. | |
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