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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:05:10 AM |
If you have a boring nothing profile.... nothing that makes the gal say WOW! Now I gotta write that guy then yes you better be hot looking!
This is right on the money.
Women that get 300 emails, either a day or a week do not read through all of them. They will scan the headlines and delete. If one catches her attention she then notices the photo (yes women are visual as well, but as Cowboy said, it's not the looks, it's the attitude), then if it's interesting they will check your profile and then respond to your message. Now Cowboy said the key words to what a woman should respond to your profile, and that is "WOW!"
This is so important. When I split with my gf, to keep me from going nuts I joined Match again. But because I have been very busy with other things, I only contacted very few women, yet I kept getting women contacting me and commenting on the profile, even though I was not doing anything. So listen to what Cowboy said. He's right on the money. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:21:00 AM | For me, the whole "stand out/creative writing" thing is kind of overkill and I would definitely consider it counterproductive to solely judge someone on their first message or headline. I'm here looking to meet someone I can connect with, I'm not here looking to be entertained by their writing(There are entire industries devoted to creative writing, if I was interested in such things, I would go to industry professionals). I think those who go out of their way to come up with ridiculously extravagant intros to stand out are really trying too hard, I would rather get to know them from talking to them. Why make things harder for everyone?
When I start a conversation with someone offline, I have no such expectations of them; so why should I have those expectations online? I'm fine with people sending me generic emails; they don't need to be original or creative just to talk with me, they should just be themselves. They are just trying to reach out to me in what they believe is customary and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
Although, I do tend to lose a bit of respect for those who look at their messages with apathy and expectation. Even if someone does receive dozens of messages a day, they could still make an effort to get to know the people who made the effort to contact them a little bit before passing judgement. If they don't have time for it, they certainly don't have the time for dating. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:33:32 AM | I understand what you mean roninvince but for a good majority of guy's they ussually put forth the first foot on these things.
I am looking for someone as well, i find the hardest thing about this site is getting the first contact.
If i can get a contact and have them actually respond then that is when personality can come into play.
If you want to compare it to the outside think of it like this,do you ever go to a club or a bar in your pajamas and unshaved?
Answer, no, most guy's will make a attempt at looking good if they are serious about attracting the oppisite sex.
Personally i am still working on how to dress up my profile to make that first contact click a lot more often. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:31:07 AM |
I think those who go out of their way to come up with ridiculously extravagant intros to stand out are really trying too hard, I would rather get to know them from talking to them.
First you have to make them respond. And extravagant is not what gets them to respond, but rather how you hit a nerve on their minds. If they are geting "Hi, I am larry I love to blah...." "Hi am Jeff, I am into cards and I love to blah..." "Hi, I am jim could you check my profile, maybe we could blah..."
YOu are not going to get a response. And if you do, it may be that SHE found yo physically attractive, you look like her dad.
Look, it's not about being extravagant, it's about connecting. My headline in on email was simply "Sick", in another one "Are you creative?" Another one was "Not really" or "I don't believe it." In another case I wrote "kafka" and since the girl was from Prague she responded immediately. Probably the only repeat headline that got women talking like crazy was this one "Are you a geek?" That was usually as a response to some geek comment on their on half, so they went on to explain that they were smart, but active, and outgoing and liked doing marathons and tris and so on. All of these created conversations, connections and dates.
So it's not about being extravagant, it's about hitting a nerve. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:51:29 AM | From my point of view, there is not a chance I would ever hold a lame profile or generic first contact email against a woman. It does make it more difficult to come up with something original to say to her, but I'd still message pretty much any woman if I thought there was a good chance she'd reply back, regardless of what was in her profile. I am a writer, but I have no expectations of ever dating another writer (it has never happened, online or otherwise -- I have actually emailed pretty much every local profile I've come across that indicated she was also a writer or had a really witty, creative profile and none has ever written back). I mean, I'm just on here to find a date, not a muse or a collaborator, and dating really has nothing to do with writing. At least not MODERN dating -- obviously if you want to go back into the 17th century or something, it was all about love letters and poetry, but try that crap with a 21st century woman and see if you don't get laughed off this site.
But among the three women I have dated the longest by far, I met all of them in "real life" situations, and two of them never emailed me or wrote me anything whatsoever over a year each (neither was a good writer to my knowledge) while the third came in the MySpace era so we occasionally exchanged information (both directly and indirectly) on that site, but it was certainly not romantic emails or POF-like getting to know you emails. I'm just saying, I can't see where the brilliance of a woman's profile is going to have anything to do with me dating her -- naturally, I stay away from really badly written profiles, with terrible grammar, ghetto slang or venom against male-kind, but I have no problem whatsoever with a woman who simply posts a resume' of her life -- that's what I really want to know, not that she has a grasp on iambic pentameter.
All indications are from the posts in this forum is that most women pretty much feel the same way. An obvious copy-and-paste email might be a little offensive, but if he's her "type," I think most women will just get over it. Now I'm not ANYONE's type, so my situation is quite different (all of the guys in this thread look like they could be someone's type, whether they're actually handsome or not). Maybe I need to do something creative to stand out among the handful of women who don't care that much about looks, but that's still not going to get you a date with somebody who isn't interested in dating someone like you physically. It just isn't going to happen, not even if you write the most brilliant thing since Tolstoy. Now in "real life" you can land a date with someone who isn't attracted to you (I'm quite sure woman A mentioned above fell into said-category), but that's a whole complicated issue involving presence of personality (as opposed to email personality) and chemistry. I think a lot of you are confusing real life results and online results. Dating sites serve the purpose of eliminating the riffraff and presenting you upfront with exactly what you want, and if you're not what most people want, then you're going to have a hard time online.
And Cowboy, I would think being a moderator alone would get you a ton of first contact emails (but regardless, I still see you as being many women's "type," unlike me, so the clever profile is just a bonus to them).
Arrive: I live in Temple Terrace, which borders New Tampa. Ever go to the Starlight 20? I'm there quite frequently because of advanced screenings. I've only been to Land O Lakes once though, many years ago to, coincidentally, meet a woman for a date. That went well enough, but her family scared the hell out of me. Well, her sister was pretty cool. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:13:35 PM | Don't be so hard on yourself hawking, i can already see the doubt in your words.
Everyone is "someone's" type, the questions is are they your type?
Keep the confidence at a high and sooner or later something is going to come around.
It may not be online it may be in real life, who knows.
The only thing i do know is that site's like this give people of all type's the ability to at least put forth a good mental foot.
In real i know for a fact i could never, and i mean EVER try and talk to so many girl's ar once.
Hell after the first 5-10 rejection's i would probally sit in a whole for awhile and think about reason's why i should never goto the mall again.
Keep talking keep networking
Yes i goto starlight 20 all the time, well i used to they opened a movie theater over in wesley chapel now so i go there as it's supposedly closer. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:14:34 PM | This site is just full of doubt. I wouldn't go so far as to say it has the highest rejection rates of all sites, but it certainly has the highest level of wasted effort.
But anyway, I think it's definitely possible to fall into a category such that you're not anyone's type. Statistically, I'm that guy. I'm like a perfect storm of dating negatives -- for example, whenever I'm on Match or Yahoo (where people have to list their dating preferences), I can usually respond to about 2 or 3 out of every 100 profiles based on just 3 or 4 preferences alone. But I've still gone on a decent number of dates (though not anytime recently) and had 3 quasi-girlfriends. It's a matter of convincing women whose type I am not to go out with me anyway, and let me tell you, that is difficult business. I'd really rather be trying to sell sand to a sidewinder. I was definitely not the "type" of any woman I have ever gone on a date with and quite a few told me so (repeatedly). They had not dated anyone remotely like before and so far as I know, not since. For some reason or another, they all made me their exception to the rule. Frankly, I think there were a dozen different reasons (except for the sizeable group that was being "experimental" at the time) and none of them really had much in common. On that same note, I don't have a "type." I learned a long time ago that's pretty useless. I go out with the women who decide to make me their exception. That's my "type."
And I believe you speak of "The Grove." That's a little far for me on a regular basis, although being the movie aficianado that I am, I'll end up there sooner or later -- I hear it's pretty incredible. I do know that Starlight is being killed by the new competition. Such is life. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:55:27 PM |
It's a matter of convincing women whose type I am not to go out with me anyway, and let me tell you, that is difficult business.
Try not "sell them" in choosing you. Turn it around and make them think that they need to qualify themselves to you. Now, you need to be more positive. If you have been dating women that supposedly are about your level. Then that is your level and nothing less. It is you who seem to be stuck on that definition. They are choosing your, so you are doing some how, something right.
What will happen is that first they will chose you, and of course dump you, but as you gain experience, confidence, you will begin to be the one that dumps them and becomes more demanding.
For instance, most women I have gone out even said that they would not go out with a man with facial hair or even a mustache. Others said that they hated hairy men, yet they went out with me and did not complaint.
So look at the bright side. Pay attention to the things in your own personality that triggered them to respond to you, and do more of that. And if they dump you. Who cares, you learned something, and each interaction will teach you something very valuable and will allow you to be more comfortable with yourself. And that is the key to confidence. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:58:59 PM | If you walk into this feeling one down, you’re sunk before you sail. As cowboy and OutMind have stated, you have to make yourself stick out, show confidence and be who “you” are, not what you think they want to see. I hear endless people complain that they get no responses yet do nothing about it but cry in the forums. What’s the point of playing to the crowd when you are looking for a specific person? Do you know how big the crowd is?
I completely agree, the table is turned when you’re the one doing the exposing, the one who confidently uses what he has and ends up with the ability to do the choosing. To have my profile as it is and then get lame female contacts that say nothing allows me to ask what they liked or blow it off all together, it gives me the deciding factor, not a one down beg for them to hear me out so they can see the real me hidden under a useless profile.
Remember though, if you can’t back what your profile says in person, you will end up SOL anyway, so don’t exaggerate or lie. Contacts are just that, after they come, no amount of profile fancy will keep anyones interested. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:20:37 PM |
Women get over 300 emails a day. So stand out.
I want to meet that woman.
My headline in on email was simply "Sick", in another one "Are you creative?" Another one was "Not really" or "I don't believe it." In another case I wrote "kafka" and since the girl was from Prague she responded immediately. Probably the only repeat headline that got women talking like crazy was this one "Are you a geek?" That was usually as a response to some geek comment on their on half, so they went on to explain that they were smart, but active, and outgoing and liked doing marathons and tris and so on. All of these created conversations, connections and dates.
So it's not about being extravagant, it's about hitting a nerve.
Agree 100%. I would open an email with any of those subject lines. Curiosity if no other reason. They would stand out from all the "Hi", "Nice smile", and "Wow" headlines ... boring. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:20:46 AM | A few months ago, I sent a message to a beautiful blonde female psychiatrist with the subject "Blonde Lilith," a joking reference to Lilith on "Cheers"/"Frasier," who was an attractive (though admittedly icy) female psychiatrist.
Yeah, I got blocked. In fact, that's the only time I'm certain that I've ever been blocked, because a day later I checked my contacts, and her profile was definitely not in the list.
On this site, you walk an extremely fine line between being funny enough to catch a woman's attention and offending a woman who otherwise would have been all right with "Hi." I prefer to err on the side of caution. As best as I can recall (and it has been 2.5 years so I can't recall it all), no woman has ever responded to any of my "clever" emails, but I still have a couple mailing me that I sent slightly clever but largely generic "Hi" messages to (all the more reason I believe it's all about physical attraction). Most women on this site obviously get a lot of truly obnoxious and rude emails, and I'd rather not be thrown in that bucket because I was trying to be amusing and that particular woman didn't get my sense of humor. Which you may say, hey, isn't this site about finding someone who "gets" you? I've been around this world long enough to know that just as I'm no one's "type," that no one "gets" me either -- at least not dating-wise. Obviously, I'm somewhat successful at professional writing, but what works in screenplays, novels, songs, poems, etc., does not translate so well into dating emails and profiles (especially went your speciality is dark comedy).
But that said, I do often use something other than "Hi" for the subject, usually something related to what the woman said in her profile (like "Kafka" mentioned by OutMind). But I won't say anything that could somehow be twisted around to be offensive even if I personally do think it's kind of funny.
In general, I'm pretty sure my biggest problem is age at this point. I've noticed the most open-minded women are much older or much younger. Women in their late 20s-30s pretty much think they have their perfect man all figured out and with biological clocks ticking, don't have much time to waste on "youthful experiments" anymore. I'm just about out of the age range of college-age girls, so I guess if I'm not completely bitter by my 50s, I'll be in good shape. No offense, but I really can't take men's advice on such things all that seriously -- the women are the ones making the decisions, and essentially every thread or email in which some woman claimed I should be a good catch, she is almost always much older, meaning she has a completely different set of priorities from women close to my age.
You know, I looked at some older threads about that 300 emails thing -- back when this site first started, really high daily volumes wasn't uncommon for women, probably because as is the case with pretty much every site, the early adopters were male, so back in the early 2000s, men probably did outnumber women 20 to 1 or something. Only Markus or maybe the moderators could attest to this, but I bet the user ratio is much closer to even now, so there's much less competition for a single woman's attention. The only women I've really seen evidence that they get high double digits or maybe even triple digits emails on a daily basis anymore are usually the Keeley Hazel/Lucy Pinder wannabes (or on occasion, just a really attractive young woman in a large urban area who isn't trying to be anyone but herself, and that's good enough for most guys). Most current threads seem to suggest even your typical young attractive woman probably gets a couple dozen emails a day at the most after she's no longer new, and I'm always puzzled to find very attractive women on the "no first contact emails in a day" list.
It's still a lot of clutter to bust through, obviously, and a lot for them to deal with (and more than I get in 6 months), but 300? Only Xerxes had to deal with that. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:51:03 PM |
I'm always puzzled to find very attractive women on the "no first contact emails in a day" list
Some of us don't want email every day from just anyone. We want email from the 'right' one and intentionally craft our profiles to limit the clutter email.
I won't say anything that could somehow be twisted around to be offensive even if I personally do think it's kind of funny.
Consider this - the psychiatrist you wrote to with subject "blonde lillith" - how many times do you think she's heard that or something similar? Or (I've never seen Seinfeld so I may be totally off base here), wasn't the Lillith character not so great? Did you consider she may not have liked that TV character and didn't appreciate being compared to her?
NOT saying you have to be bland in your approach. Just saying that the recipient may have a totally different perception of what you wrote. I don't know why she blocked you and you will never know either. The only thing to do is to forget her and move along. Every woman on this site is not the same. If you're batting zero, then the common denominator in the pattern is whom? | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:55:30 PM |
And extravagant is not what gets them to respond, but rather how you hit a nerve on their minds.
Outmind is correct again (one reason I kinda sorta follow his posts ;-)
It doesn't even take a lot of words to hit a nerve. I've been intrigued enough by ~ 20 word emails that I responded. Same the other direction - I've had responses to 2-3 sentence emails.
You never know what will strike a nerve but you can be pretty sure what will not. As CloudHidden suggested, stay true to yourself in your profile (and in your email) because whatever you write that hits that nerve becomes 'you' in her mind. Don't be Cyrano. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:33:52 PM | The best thing for a man is to be creative (but not ridiculous in a bad way) and brief. The odds aren't usually too good if you're writing someone who gets hundreds of messages every week, so it's not a good idea to write really long emails unless you really enjoy doing it... and even then it can work against you by giving the appearance of "trying too hard," which is a universal turn-off.
As for women, men don't usually get that many emails. Usually the message doesn't make much of a difference to me on first contact: it's more the profile, including the pics. As for pics, it's best to leave out any bad ones. Just one good face shot and one that includes most of the body is good enough. For subsequent contacts the message means more. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:00:09 PM |
As for women, men don't usually get that many emails. Usually the message doesn't make much of a difference to me on first contact: it's more the profile, including the pics. As for pics, it's best to leave out any bad ones. Just one good face shot and one that includes most of the body is good enough. For subsequent contacts the message means more.
Speak for yourself on who gets contacts. The message makes a world of difference to me and its ability to carry over from their profile shows a lot. I guess it’s all in how you perceive success and what success really means to you. If you don’t know who you, or know how to present who you are, your going to have trouble and a lot of disappointment in the online dating world. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:03:25 PM | That advice sort of contradicts your previous advice (or support of someone else's advice). If saying "Blonde Lilith" is a problem to an attractive female psychiatrist because she hears it all the time, then certainly saying "Kafka" to a woman from that region is a problem because she probably hears that "all the time," too. I think we can all agree that pretty much anything is better than "Hi," yet at the same time, I've had as many responses to that as anything clever (and not been blocked for it). Although you're correct that Lilith was not a generally likeable character (in fact, I'm quite sure she was named after the original female vampire) so she might have been bothered by that (I thought Lilith was pretty cool myself but I'm weird like that). Or maybe she just blocked me because she didn't want unattractive guys emailing her. Who knows? She is a psychiatrist -- she can see unstable people coming from a mile away!
I'm not batting zero in responses. I'm batting zero in meetings. I'm just batting bad enough in responses that I'd probably be benched for the rest of my career if this was a baseball game. But it sounds like POF is a whole like baseball in that guys who fail 2 out of 3 times are considered highly successful. Nothing wrong with that really, I guess, since it's all about finding the right one. I think it's even further proof that I'm not really anyone's "type." I'm just an occasional exception to the rule. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:48:32 PM | And here I was thinking that it was just me that was wasting my time here.
You can craft em any way you want em. I bet half of them are never even read.
First hit is to check your profile. If you have a 'fit' you might get read. If you are too far, to short, wrong profession, wrong ethnic, wrong body size, wrong color of eyes, not to their level of edumactional liking yaddda yaddda yaddda, ya gonna get the unread / delete button.
So craft it anyway you want it. In todays ADHD world, dont go over 300 words, nobody is gonna read it all anyways.
Just for fun I started monkeying with the profile stats, sending exactly the same text of emails for an opening.... in the ones where I was 6-4, I got the most response.
take it with a grain of salt. its like finding gold in a CART-SORT/ Resident Junk mail. Good luck | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/30/2009 5:04:56 AM | Valencia: I actually did that experiment years ago with another service where I wasn't getting any interest. I posted exactly the same profile for two consecutive weeks, with everything in it being 100% true (and not particularly creative -- just a dating resume', really), except in the first week I was my real height and the second week I was 6 feet tall.
I have never, ever received anywhere near as many responses for any ad/profile I have ever posted anywhere as I did for that 6 foot tall one. It's definitely the only time I have ever received double digit responses in a single week. And I didn't even respond to anyone else's -- this was just first contacts to me!
Of course, the week of the short man ad had no responses. Very close to my 2 1/2 years worth of experiences here, with entirely truthful profiles (of a many different types).
Not that this is surprising to anyone. There's a zillion threads about it. I'm just saying, in as far as the subject of THIS thread goes, I think it is even further proof that it doesn't matter what you write (so long as it's not something ridiculously bad), all that matters is who you are (and I'm not talking about personality). Nearly every guy in this thread or others who's talking about how effective his profile or messages are is around six foot -- they are in a completely different category to women from me. And you know, I've been around long enough to accept that. I'm just really annoyed that POF doesn't even attempt to do more to prevent guys like us from wasting so much time here. If I knew there was no chance a woman would reply back to me because of my height (or ethnicity or because I'm a UF graduate or whatever), I wouldn't spend several minutes crafting her a "non-generic" message, but on this particular site, you just can't tell 95% of the time. It's just really frustrating, but unfortunately, POF is just about the only popular non-scam dating site still out there, so you gotta work with what you've got. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:58:41 AM | Think you should stick to the forums and learn the real stuff about this site.
It appears no one has 100's of e-mails per day, blocking and deleting goes on all the time for no reason, read/delete happens too because they are not interested or have a relationship and have kept their options open by not closing down the account. 99% of the members are here hoping to find someone cute to spend time with. There are tons of trawlers looking for a date a night pretending they are looking for love, when they are looking for control. And then there is the married brigade who mess with peoples heads and hearts.
Just take each day as it comes, if a cutie messages you meet them quick, cos they are few and far between.
Block and delete any nasties then you never have to hear from them again  if they are real nasties report them and hopefully you will save someone else too.
Do not take this at all too serious - treat it like a bit of fun, if you hit lucky, smile because you are one of the lucky ones  And I know two people, face to face friends, that have hit lucky on this site, one in her fifties and one in her twenties, so keep an open mind dont try to second guess - ask outright! | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:50:50 AM | I was speaking for myself, and it appears you totally missed my point, CloudHidden. I don't see how the ability to write a sharp, witty message is necessarily a great predictor of how good a companion one might be and the chemistry you might have.
Not everyone who's a good companion is a world-class writer, after all. In fact, I've found that some people who out and out suck at "small talk" are very good companions... and vice-versa. A simple "Hello, I like your profile, drop me a line if you feel the same" is fine, as far as I'm concerned. If you expect every women to write you a composition worthy of Ursula LaGuin, suit yourself.
It's entirely flawed reasoning to expect someone to have good qualities "across the board." In fact, it's more often that the opposite is the case, and people who are exceptional in one area are likely to be way below average in some other respects. That goes for women and men.
If one expects people to be too perfect in all respects before giving them a chance, that will guarantee a lot of disappointment in the dating world... and not just online. Especially as one gets older. This tendency to "over-filter" is one of the main genetic defects of the online dating process, as I see it.
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:10:30 AM |
And extravagant is not what gets them to respond, but rather how you hit a nerve on their minds.
Outmind is correct again (one reason I kinda sorta follow his posts ;-)
Thank you hon.
then certainly saying "Kafka" to a woman from that region is a problem because she probably hears that "all the time," too.
Hacking, you are over thinking it. Just do it. I have send messages that completely tanked, or even got the girl offended. But does it matter? If you think that is not going to work, then you spend your time thinking what she may like instead of expressing what comes from the inside. The girl I opened with Kafka, had lived in the States for some time and was actually moved because most Americans are clueless about geography, they do not know where the Czech Republic is, or know about Prague. We had a conversation about how she liked Prague much better than Paris, but loved Barcelona. And we did go out.
Oh, one clarification about the 300 emails a day. That may sound far fetched and misleading, so my correction. Usually when you join a place you get inundated by emails. And that is more what I refer to. Of course that tapers down. But for example, my gf just joined in. She put in her profile, not looking, she even put a picture of me there, and she still got inundated. I need to check with her but she has gotten about 50 messages without doing a thing. Talk about guys not reading. Women do find that such a turn off. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:28:22 AM |
Oh, one clarification about the 300 emails a day. That may sound far fetched and misleading, so my correction. Usually when you join a place you get inundated by emails. And that is more what I refer to. Of course that tapers down. But for example, my gf just joined in. She put in her profile, not looking, she even put a picture of me there, and she still got inundated. I need to check with her but she has gotten about 50 messages without doing a thing. Talk about guys not reading. Women do find that such a turn off.
This has also been my experience.
The first email can be 5 words or 500 words but it has to indicate, in some way, that he actually read my profile.
For subsequent contacts the message means more.
How do you get to that subsequent contact if you don't pass the first contact for lack of interest? | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:42:20 AM |
How do you get to that subsequent contact if you don't pass the first contact for lack of interest?
If you don't pass, you don't pass, end of story.
But if there's some interest, I think both can move it forward. You can always tell if a woman in interested because, she responds to what you asked, but then throws in a question about something about you. Same thing for guys. If you answer or talk about something, you have to end it by asking a question. But stop selling, stop trying not to piss her off, say what comes to mind. If you worry too much about this things, eventually you will stick your foot in your mouth anyways. So do it early, so at least you come across as being human, or having a cheesy sense of humor. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:56:43 AM | So enough theoretical, let's get down to real life. I just received this first contact today (a few personal details redacted). You should be able to guess my response. But, I'm curious what y'all think about the quality of this as a first contact and how you would have responded.
I am just a simple guy and I am also a Country Guy at heart. Am quiet but yet I love to meet people, open to new things in life love to treat people the way I wanted to be treated, love shopping, camping, country, beach, traveling and animals ...To describe me would be as Funny,Honest, Loving, Romantic, Sweet Confident and Understanding. (age) yrs of age (nationality) man still single looking for my soul mate, someone who is exciting and adventurous, has great of humor and enjoys making me laugh. someone who is so glad to share, so glad to help and give,someone who i can share my thoughts with and who will makes me feel special and brings out the best in me Someone who tries to understand me even when they haven"t got a clue. Someone that would be ready to give so much of herself and can do anything, go anywhere, and sacrifice anything she has for sake of LOVE. I want the kind of relationship that could lead to endless relationship. | |
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