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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:24:54 PM | | I use to write decent 1st contact Emails; spent some time composing a decent greeting. Over 95% of the women on here don't bother to even acknowledge they received the Email so why should I waste my time composing an interesting Email to them? The 2nd Email will be much more creative if she shows any interest in me. Is it too much to expect at least an acknowledgement that you received the 1st Email? Thought so!! | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:57:52 AM | You don't know ahead of time who those 95 percent are so if you stop thaking care to send an email customized to the recipient then you will also miss the 5 percent who might care.
And you don't get to a 2nd email if you don't get a response to the first.
I said it before, a customized email should not take a lot of time or typing. But, it takes time to actually read her profile, determine why you think she'd be interested in you, why you're interested in her.
Then and only then write the email. Should save time, energy, and disappointment when you're not spamming women who are not likely to be interested in you. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:31:09 PM | Here's my issue with that response... I do take the time to read their whole profiles, sometimes even twice to make sure I didn't miss anything, and I make the effort to write personalized emails and come up with attention grabbers but I will still get very little responses, if any at all, even with women who's criteria I match to the letter(well, at least the ones they have written down).
What I think bugs me even more is that I do not believe men, as a gender, should be the only ones to make these kind of efforts; especially not when vast majority of women are not even willing to recognize or appreciate these efforts and return them in turn. (of the few women who have ever responded to me, none of them actually ever read my profile). You may say "well, it's because women get a lot more emails" but then they only get all those emails because they aren't putting any effort into sending out their own emails.
It's also a lot harder to take these rejections if the emails aren't generic. Having a message which is personal and heartfelt get rejected is a lot harder to swallow than a generic email that you might not have invested yourself in.
We should be here looking to make human connections and interacting with each other, from one human being to another, and that has nothing to do with how creative or original a message is. Creative writing is a very shallow expectation to put on others and that expectation is definitely self-limiting. How could anyone on this site want to pass up on what could be very good opportunities to meet great, or at the very least compatible, individuals over something so trivial!? I can understand not being attracted to someone but if there is any kind of physical attraction or if you want something platonic, at least get to know the person a little before turning them down. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:11:20 PM |
What I think bugs me even more is that I do not believe men, as a gender, should be the only ones to make these kind of efforts; especially not when vast majority of women are not even willing to recognize or appreciate these efforts and return them in turn.
Too bad, while you are being bugged other guys are connecting with the very same women and having dates. So in the end you have two jobs, one get pissed off and think it's unfair, a second one, get over it.
Creative writing is a very shallow expectation to put on others and that expectation is definitely self-limiting.
Obviously you do not know what creative writing is. Creative writing is not flowery prose, or cute representations of flowers and cupid and for that matter unicorns. Creative writing is the ability to express an idea in a way that in impactful and it produces a WOW on the given audience. Sometimes that writing happens to be extremely raw.
Now remember that men are more visual and women are more mental, that is why while men are more attracted to looks, women are more attracted to character, and character is a quality that it exist where? In the mind. So consequently what happens? Women spends a tremendous amount of time "looking" good. And guys spend tons of time developing that "Character". Since you are not rich, famous or remarkably good looking (and neither am I) we have to use our wit, our words, our ideas, and yes our actions to define our character. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:45:38 AM | Not intending to damage our currently friendly terms, Cynthia, but I find that advice somewhat contradictory. You tell him to stop spamming women who are not likely to be interested in you, but before that you point out that he doesn't know ahead of time who those 95% are that are going to reject him.
As I said yesterday in some other thread, determining if a woman is likely NOT to be interested in you on POF is often a nearly impossible task, and I say that not just about myself with all my negative physical characteristics, but just about any guy on here -- but most especially us younger ones. The younger women rarely list what they're looking for (or NOT looking for) in their profiles, which is ironic, since they are apparently far more selective than older women as far their physical requirements are concerned. Not that I blame them, because apparently you can get condemned to high hell over writing such things in your profile, but I'm just saying, I'm probably qualified to send messages to over 90% of the female profiles I come across on POF, according to what they have written in their profiles. I don't have any idea which of those are likely to respond to me and the ones who have responded seem to have very little in common with one another -- it's pretty much freakin' random. Although, interestingly, I almost never get a college-educated woman to write me back, and obviously, I usually have the most in common with them. Then again, in "real life" I've only had dates with a couple of college-educated women despite asking out a much higher percentage of those since they are mostly what I've been surrounded by my whole life, so, apparently I do not appeal to college-educated women. But does it make any sense for me NOT to message college-educated women, despite these results -- because that seems to be what you're suggesting: I am apparently wasting time emailing women who are not likely to be interested in me, according to my dating history, despite the fact that this is completely contradictory to my personality!
Sometimes (but not very often) there are clues: I remember coming across this woman's profile which sounded pretty cool until I took a closer look at the T-shirt she was wearing in one picture and realized it was a Confederate flag. Yeah, I figured that was probably a waste of an email. But nowhere in her profile did she say anything about "whites only" or anything that would remotely suggest such a thing. In fact, maybe she originally said something like that but got such nasty emails she decided to post a picture of her wearing a Confederate flag to give a subtle hint about her views. Who knows?
And as I've said before, looking at the women who have dated me for clues is pointless. The three women I had the longest relationships with are just like half the young women on this site for the most part. And I didn't have that much in common with any of them (I mean, I seriously had next to nothing in common with the middle one of the 3 and always figured it was pure physical attraction that she dated me). Most couples don't have that much in common -- women and men are often just largely fundamentally different. And no doubt the women who say in their profiles that they love sports and video games and heavy metal and cigars and whatnot are among the most popular on the site because women who like "guy stuff" are somewhat rare in general. Most real life couples just end up learning to compromise or to like each other's activities. They don't often come together because they have a lot in common, yet that's the advice that's often given on POF to guys: email a woman you have a lot in common with. Well, most guys on this site have the most in common with the same relatively small group of women, so God knows how emails they have to weed out (especially if they are also attractive).
Do you know how often I come across a woman's profile who lists one of her interests as "shopping"? Is there really a point in a woman listing that as an interest -- how many heterosexual guys are going to share that interest? But does it even matter? You think a guy ISN'T going to email a woman just because that's one of her main interests? Do you know how many gut-wrenching shopping expeditions I've been dragged along to?
It's really just a no-win game. Guys cannot possibly predict what woman is going to write him back on this site. There are a handful of women who are kind enough to write profiles telling the wrong kind of guy to stay the hell away, but those are just far and few between (and they often come out sounding ****y, which is one reason why most women don't write profiles like that). A carpet bombing strategy on all the women you find or could find attractive is likely the best way to get any results. Not advocating generic emails or pure spamming -- I'm just saying, putting all your eggs in that one "perfect woman" basket is likely going to leave most guys quite disappointed, because the vast majority of them are not going to agree that they are the perfect woman for you, no matter what you write in your email or profile.
BTW, Ron and I are both fairly young and short. The kind of women we are dealing with are completely different from what Outmind is dealing with and who Cynthia is. I'm sure it's at least partially a generational thing (which I don't entirely get since every generation is more open-minded than the next, but I don't think height is an "open-minded" sort of thing like ethnicity is) but it's also just that mature women as a group have completely different priorities from younger women when it comes to dating. I'm sure I've said that before in this thread and I'm not so sure why nobody gets that -- it's pretty much impossible to argue with, if you think back to what you and your peers were like in their 20s and early 30s. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:34:31 AM |
I don't have any idea which of those are likely to respond to me and the ones who have responded seem to have very little in common with one another -- it's pretty much freakin' random.
Now you are beginning to get the point. That is why you contact every single woman that when you read their profile, you feel there's something worth talking about. Don't look for the negatives, but little touches that may be worth a discussion. There was this one woman that I found very attractive a while back, but when I read her profile, I could not come up with anything to ask her about. So I moved on and didn't write her anything. Eventually one day, something hit me about her and I sent her an email. She did actually responded, and went on to tell me all sorts of things. Unfortunately that one did not pan into a date, but it didn't really matter. You take it as you go.
It's really just a no-win game. Guys cannot possibly predict what woman is going to write him back on this site.
Now, as much as you do not know WHO is going to be the one responding to your emails, this statement above is completely wrong. If you ever studied anything about selling, one of the key elements is that you control what is going on through questions. So you can predict exactly what a woman is going to write you back, because you constantly are leading the conversation with questions. Let me give you a stupid example. "Hey, I noticed that huge belt you are wearing in that photo. It reminded me of something I was in a market in Barcelona, made by Gipsies. So I can't help but ask you, where did you get it? Was it abroad, or here in the States."
Nine out of ten chances SHE is going to talk about that belt. Or the experience, then she is going to comment something about YOUR profile. And if the interaction was effective, she will finish by asking you "When did you go to Barcelona?" These kinds of exchange are actually very, very predictable in terms of where they are going. What is unpredictable, and you hope so, is the beauty of what answer she will give you about the given subject. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:39:01 AM | | Sorry, there was a misunderstanding. I meant guys cannot possibly predict WHICH woman is going to write him back on this site (which is pretty much the same thing you discussed in your previous paragraph), not what said-woman is going to say in her response if she does reply. Therefore I agree with your second paragraph. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:36:51 AM | | I'm not sure if request for "Creative" is well recieved. Whenever I've taken the time to write something interesting or humorous it doesn't seem to change the odds of a person replying. "Hello, How are you?" goes a great deal farther if they like your picture or perhaps something in your profile than a well crafted message. Everyone just pays lip service to the latter. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:53:58 AM |
Whenever I've taken the time to write something interesting or humorous it doesn't seem to change the odds of a person replying.
How do you know?
"Hello, How are you?" goes a great deal farther if they like your picture or perhaps something in your profile than a well crafted message.
Well, duh!
Everyone just pays lip service to the latter.
Nix the "everyone"
Add you to the list of folks on this thread who misunderstand dating generally, and opening email/profiles specifically.
Truth is: you don't have a 'right' to meet anyone/everyone. No one has a 'duty' to look at and consider anyone/everyone. You don't make decisions based on 'inner beauty' or 'character' alone so stop whining that the people you want to look at you don't do it either.
If you want to argue that you're the exception to the rule and will date someone you find unattractive, then tell us how you make the decision to date that person? What criteria do you use to decide who to spend your time, money, and attention on? Do you meet everyone who writes to you? Are you suggesting I should meet everyone who writes to me 'hey you're cute, want to chat?' Or that I should be intrigued and have to meet someone with a profile that reads 'I'm a depressing nihilist and bored, but you should want to meet me anyway because I'm tired of being rejected'?
The argument I read from the whiners here is that we email filterers should either not care about the intellectual attractiveness or should not care about the physical attractiveness of the person we're looking to give our time, attention, and heart to. Are you willing to settle for that 2-dimensional relationship? I am not.
Truth #1 is: if you can't string 2 interesting sentences together in an email so that I look at your profile, and/or your profile isn't interesting and coherent enough to pique my interest, then it doesn't matter if you look like my fantasy dream guy.
Truth #2 is: converesly, your writing can make me melt but if I'm not physically attracted to you then the 'most' relationship we'll have is pen pals.
I suspect you live by truth #2 but are p*ssed that too many of your target audience also live by truth #1. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:04:06 PM | | As an avid book lover and English major, I'm not expecting a guy to be channeling Shakespeare or Sedaris here, but I do expect to see some effort in the profile and message writing. It doesn't have to be a dissertation, but I need something to spark interest. A good looking picture is not enough to build interest off of, at least not for me. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:32:14 PM |
Not intending to damage our currently friendly terms, Cynthia, but I find that advice somewhat contradictory. You tell him to stop spamming women who are not likely to be interested in you, but before that you point out that he doesn't know ahead of time who those 95% are that are going to reject him.
I'll give you some time to think about the distinction. There is one. I was not contradictory. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:46:33 PM | I put in my paragraph about myself that if your message is not tailored to me, then I am deleting it... I just don't appreciate guys just sending a mass amount of messages without reading a profile and only looking at pictures...
When I send out messages, it has something quirky and funny I noticed in a picture or profile =) | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:54:51 PM | | i have a friend who got on here and put up pics without makeup and barely anything written in her profile. She's been bombarded with email. Some from guys that I had not seen on my page; some from ones who won't write to me; and a few that I didn't reply to. So I deleted all of the info about myself that I had in my profile. I now just have a few sentences. I don't think guys read very much of profiles anyway. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:04:34 PM | ^^ and is it working for you any better than when you had info in your profile?
And why would you change your profile in reaction to guys you have no interest in or have no interest in you? Isn't that sort of like throwing a tantrum? (if they don't read my profile the way it is, then I'll show them!) | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:11:26 PM | | As to whether it's working or not, it's too soon to say. I haven't been bombarded with email but I hardly was before either. I got alot more mail last year before I lost my top layer of hair through color damage, so part of it is that I don't have as much hair as I did. So that would be related to a pic, not narrative in a profile. Tantrum??? wtf??? If they didn't read what was in my profile, why would they care if it wasn't there??? It's called experimenting and changing things you can change, and not worrying about writing things that won't be read anyway. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:52:32 PM |
If they didn't read what was in my profile, why would they care if it wasn't there??? It's called experimenting and changing things you can change, and not worrying about writing things that won't be read anyway.
Experimenting with what? To see how many response you get? Is that how you gauge success? You write what you want because it’s you, if you can’t stand alone with whom you are then you are selling yourself to the crowd. A good profile is a good weeding tool for all of the idiots who you find don’t read it! It’s for your benefit to ask for what you want, not theirs and the right person may just resonate with it! I have seen a lot of pretty faces and when I saw their squat for nothing profile I moved on, how many are you missing that may have the qualities you seek that do the same? You don’t write a profile so you can get many, you write because its you and what you’re asking for, if they don’t like it, so what, you’re the one whose here asking for a date, its for you! | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:40:36 PM | A successful team knows their strengths and waeknesses as well as the other team's strengths and weaknesses. They come into the game with their offensive plan and run that plan, deviating only for a good reason. The winning team doesnakt let the other team's *weaknesses* change their plan.
Changing your profile because losers don't read it or respond is giving them control of your game. You're now playing to the lowest common denominator. Now guaranteed to lose because you're no longer playing to the audience you want, your target audience has become exactly who you don't want.
Am I missing something? | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:23:04 PM | I did not find the first half dozen women I dated to be attractive (and most guys I knew at the time agreed with me) -- in fact, I was downright repulsed by some of them. But once you hit your 20s and still haven't gone on your first date or had your first kiss, your thinking in regards to who you will date changes substantially, which is something I'm willing to guess no one else in this thread experienced.
But certainly, I'm not advocating dating someone you aren't attracted to. Hell, I am living proof that it is downright a bad idea. It was completely unfair to the women I was dating. Whether it made my life better is difficult to assess, but regardless, the ultimate outcome in every case was not good. Furthermore, when I finally did get a date with a woman I was attracted to (long, long after my first date), that was definitely an experience on a completely different level from what I was dealing with previously and highly preferable (except for the part about the women I dated that I was attracted to generally not liking me enough to make the dating situation or relationship in any way equal -- the other side of that coin).
So you definitely don't have to sell me that bill of goods. I've been there and done that probably more times than everyone in this thread put together, because most people pure and simply will not date someone they don't find attractive, and that's usually true from an early age. I've definitely been the exception to that rule. And the really sad part is, I have a much wider range of what I consider attractive than the typical guy, and yet I STILL have mostly dated women I did not find attractive.
So you've both already won that argument (because I agree completely) and you're not going to win that argument with me (because I've done exactly what you claim no one will do).
I don't really understand why nobody is getting my ACTUAL argument. Which is, because POF won't make it easy for them, women need to bite the freakin' bullet and put what they're not attracted to in their profiles, and everybody would be a lot happier. I just randomly looked at 50 POF profiles. Not a single freakin' one of them said anything about who they won't date or even what physical preferences they have. What the hell are the chances of that? According to Match and Yahoo (and my female friends' "girl talk"), the chances of that should be highly remote. I can't respond to over 90% of profiles on Match or Yahoo because of one characteristic or another. Yet 100% of POF women (some who are GORGEOUS) are telling me they might be interested in me? "I'm looking for someone who will make me laugh" (the only requirement from one of those random profiles). Every guy on this site thinks that's him. "Must love God." Damn, that 10% of atheists is screwed. "No games, players or liars." Yeah, that'll keep the players and liars from writing you. "I'm looking for someone at least 6 feet tall" (seen once in a blue moon). Well, the majority of us know that's not us and most of us aren't going to waste time responding to that! See, that would be an actual HELPFUL thing to put in a profile.
I mean, do you even look at the profiles of other women on this site? The vast majority of them are not any help whatsoever. Yet I think some of that random 50 are still generally good profiles -- these women are describing THEMSELVES well enough (although a bunch of profiles were like 3 sentences long, too) -- most are doing a good job of selling themselves, which is what they should be doing. But almost none of the 50 sounded like someone I would have no interest in dating. And I didn't find any of them unattractive either (of course, this is a somewhat self-fulfilling prophecy since I'm not likely to click on a picture I think is unattractive).
So under these circumstances, if I was still a POF masochist, I would respond to almost every single one of these profiles. I found them attractive, they had friendly profiles with details not much different than any other woman I've ever dated and not a single one of them disqualified me.
Do you see the problem here?
Arguably, it's just MY problem. But to say that just exacerbates the general POF flaw: frustration. Me (and many other men) sending out hundreds of emails to women who if they were brutally honest in their profiles, we would not be sending emails to. If you've got certain deal breakers, for God's sake, just say it, and stop wasting my time emailing you and your time opening up the email and/or my profile. Because, by God, I do not show up at places where I know I am not wanted. (Hence the reason why I no longer live in Alabama.)
Of course, someone will look at my profile and say, "Hey, where's YOUR requirements?" First of all, I'm certainly not complaining about getting way too emails a day from "undesirables." There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to put requirements or deal breakers in your profile if you've totaled 7 first contacts in 2.5 years. But even more importantly than that, as I just stated at the top of this post, the reality is, I don't have any -- I don't care how tall my date is or what ethnic background she is or if she has a college degree or if she's religious or if she smokes. So, really, what am I going to say? "Don't bother sending me an email if you don't think I would find you attractive."
SHOCKINGLY, I've come across a couple of profiles over the years that actually said that (with no details included). WTF? How the hell is anyone supposed to know that? Oh, so you're modelesque -- is that supposed to be my clue? Well, I have actually dated two models (actually they are my second and third longest "relationships") -- though I am aware that most models probably won't date me, not one, but TWO made some sort of weird year-long exception for me, so you really can't assume anything. That said, I wrote none of those women with that in their profiles, because common sense tells you that's a high probability of a waste of time, despite my two exceptions -- neither of whom I met online, obviously.
So in other words, THOSE were good profiles -- they told this freak to stay the hell away, and I abided. That's all women need to do -- if you don't want to spell out specifics, just say something as egotistical as "Don't bother sending me an email if you don't think I would find you attractive," and most freaks like me would get the message!
So again, just to clarify: I am not a "whiner" complaining about women not responding to my emails. I'm "whining" about this site being set up in a way that it makes women "dishonest by omission" in their profiles, which leads to women getting a ton of emails they never respond to.
Also, I don't understand why everyone's jumping all over Exciting1. Although, interestingly, I obviously agree with CloudHidden that women's profiles should be a weeding tool -- to weed me out so I don't waste time sending unnecessary emails. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:22:39 PM | Actually, look at La Dee Da's profile. It's quite similar to most of the profiles I come across (including the random 50). Absolutely nothing there disqualifies me from responding. She's even shorter than me, if I should be automatically skipping taller women (because we all know the probability is extremely low that taller women will respond). And obviously she's attractive. Ignoring the fact that she lives 4000 miles from me, tell me why I shouldn't email her?
Now the tough part... what would I write? Obviously, not a "copy and paste" message. But what would all you "email experts" say in a creative message to her? About the only thing I have to work with here is that neither of us drink, which is pretty unusual -- but worth mentioning in an introductory email? Maybe something about going on "adventures," but how do you that and it not come across as some cheesy pickup line? Which may or may not work (flip of the coin).
I mean, it's tough to come up with an original, tailored email for most profiles I come across. But I do it anyway. And if la dee da lived near me, I most definitely would have sent her an email, despite the difficulty in doing so.
(La dee da: Hope you are okay with me using your profile as an example.) | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:40:43 PM | Google Akon and find out what/who that is and make a remark about that (you like them too, or you'd never heard of them before you read her profile ...)
Or, since she's an eternal optimist you could comment that you're eternally courageous sending emails ...
Or, since her situation is "Not single/not looking" but looking for "Hang Out" you could ask what that means to her
Since she expressly states the email must be tailored to her you could have your subject line "tailored just for you" | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:38:53 PM | | lol i don't know why either except the usual reason that i posted in a forum on here. yes, you are missing some things about why i reduced the info on my profile. one is that there is no reason i should stress about what it says given that so many guys don't read them anyway. another is that guys generally prefer fewer words over many words. and this way it leaves things to be discussed in person. Supposing a guy does read the long version of my profile, it could be helping him to create some persona of me in his mind that might not be accurate, and then we'd meet and he'd be disappointed because i didn't meet his expectations that i never presented myself as such anyway. i'd have to say the short version is doing at least as well as the longer version so far anyway. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:27:28 AM | I did notice the "not single/not looking" -- I meant to say "ignore that, too, like I said ignore the fact that she's 4000 miles away." Because I never email anyone who is "not single/not looking," unless it's forum-related, although it is an interesting question as to exactly what's going on with her since her profile seems pretty standard for someone who is "single / looking" other than that designation.
I'm also quite familiar with Akon (who is hip-hop/R&B), but not necessarily a huge fan. In fact, that's the closest thing in her profile that was a clue NOT to email her, because we might very well have big differences in music taste. Which is no big deal to me, but it might be to her, and inevitably she would read my profile and be like "What's all this alt music crap?" and not reply back. Some of you might be thinking, "Are you serious?" Well, here's the thing: let's say she's in that 50 random profiles I just came across (which she probably would be if she lived in my area) and there's nothing in any of their profiles that disqualifies me and I think they're all attractive. Well,I certainly don't have all day to email 50 women. So you have to start looking for every little inkling of a clue as to why each woman might not return your email. To some extent, the Akon-thing is pretty weak, but it might be the strongest reason I can come across in any of the 50 profiles. So, no email.
In reality, she probably would get an email anyway, because I think she's actually hotter than any of the 50 and that always overrides any concerns about not getting a response. But I'm just saying, hundreds, thousands of rejections eventually pile up on you, and you've got to limit the damage to your self-esteem as much as you can, so you find reasons NOT to send emails to women when you're in a situation like POF where nearly none of them are outright disqualifying you in their profiles. If I had the time and the masochistic nature, I could find literally 25 new women a day to email. And I used to think that was cool as hell because on most other sites like Match and Yahoo, there were very few women I could email due to their date preferences in their profiles, but at least I wasn't wasting a ton of time writing many women who would never write me back (just a ton of money on monthly memberships!). POF will definitely suck the life out of many guys in that sense, which is not really something I would expect most women on here to understand.
Those are some good introductions and I could probably squeeze out a couple more myself, but that doesn't really change the fact that it probably wouldn't matter what I wrote: she's almost certainly not going to reply back (just based on statistics alone) and if she did, it'd probably have nothing to do with what I wrote in my email.
To some extent, it's profiles like yours that really suck to send emails to. You have so much good information in your profile I could fill up a Christmas stocking with notes on it. And I would, obviously based on my posts, feel compelled to do so. And I'd have a damn good feeling about that email, too.
And then you get nothing. The one email you invest yourself in, you get nothing. Every now and then a 2 sentence email to a la dee da-type profile will generate a response (but not usually more than 1, just answering a question I asked), but I almost never get a response from anyone I send a serious, hardcore email to -- someone I have tons in common with and gives me a lot to write about. That's what really sucks about this site. Which is to some extent why I say, you're better off just sending out a bunch of quasi-generic emails, because rarely does anything but heartbreak come from putting your heart and soul into an email to the perfect person, but 1 out of every umpteen times a "nothing" email to a sparse profile will illicit a response.
This site is often just way backwards from what it should be. | |
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| First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:45:32 AM | [Quote]HawkingJr, I give up. You win. I lose.
Just keep up the winning attitude. It's so appealing.
Ditto
You owe apology to la de da. Using her profile to solicit ideas for a customized approach is one thing. To then critique those ideas by commenting on her, personally, is another. | |
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