| love and weight gain
Posted: 7/20/2006 3:52:03 PM | I agree with you wholeheartedly!!!! Love is supposed to be unconditional. I was told once that if I went to 130 that he would leave me, guess what? He did. Then he tried to come back when I was more to his liking, NO WAY!!!!!!! And I weigh in at a mere 118 now. Weighed that before I gained those 12 pounds. What a loser! | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:12:41 PM | I only gain weight when I work hard physicaly
and really busy at the same time... as no time to cook or
make my daily salads...
Otherwise when I fall in love.. I tend to lose a few pounds.
I can gain and lose wight quickly, but tend to stay around the same weight...
give or take 10 pounds.
OP... you were with someone who gained 50 pounds?
yikes.. that would not be cool
you arent including pregnancy? are you?
are they sick or something ?
some diseases make a person gain weight...
shesh............ thats a lot of weight to gain !!!
They arent eating everything in sight? are they?
Unless they have a thyroid problem that can be fixed... doubt I would be
staying !!! | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:28:01 PM | | Again being in a relationship is not excuse to go out and eaty every hting in sight and gain 50 lbs. Theres no reason for it. I personlay work out now and will continue to work out as wellas watch what i put in my body. As long as my mate did that i woudl be happy. Weight gain is unhealthy, unless its a pregnancy, or a medical problem. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:37:30 PM | I had hoped this silly thread would just die and go away but here it is.
To those that would leave someone because they gained weight, does this even include a husband or a wife? If so how can you feel good about yourself to destroy your family because of weight gain?
My weight stays around 120, regardless of what I eat or don't eat, but I am afraid any living thing that lives with me tends to gain weight.
If people will leave over weight gain, what over changes in their apperance would cause you to walk out on a spouse or loved one?
It doesn't matter how good a person looks, it can change it the blink of an eye through accidents or illness. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:44:10 PM | "It doesn't matter how good a person looks, it can change it the blink of an eye through accidents or illness."
So true and I could not agree more.
But you forget that injuries is caused by accidents. Illness is not something that is preventable either. If it were so, no one would be sick. But gaining weight is preventable. Weight is gained by sheer laziness. If you work out and stay fit, you won't turn fat.
But accidents and injuries are not foreseen. Therefore, they are unavoidable.
I would stay with someone if they were in an accident/illness and that caused immense injury to their physical/mental being. But I won't stay with someone who becomes fat. Being in a relationship is not an excuse for turning fat. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 7/20/2006 5:36:37 PM | Lets face it. We all get More 'content'.... and comfortable, and cozy when we are well embedded in a serious and satisfying relationship. That immediate and ever-present need to stay in "courting shape"...and fighting trim....becomes unneccessary. And, so it is not unusual to 'soften up' a little. Probably nothing wrong with that.
However.....There is a Limit to this. Putting on 50...100...or More, lbs of unattractive fat is counterproductive and in some ways... a deal breaker. I know I really am not attracted to 200 pounder's and up. Very very few women can carry that kind of weight and not be Obese. If I married up with a 150...160 pounder who ballooned up to 250... I would feel a little disappointed.... and it would hinge on a deal breaker. And, don't go givin me all that 'medical reasons' stuff. Very seldom is it that!
Marriage isn't about..."oh I got them now.... I can go back to doing whatever I want". No way. It requires constant work. Its not a 50-50...its a 100-100. Now... remember, we are talking about gaining weight form lifestyle.... not because of injury... disease... ect. If a partner gets sick, and it has nothing to do with their choices...well, of course, thats a whole different deal.
Everyone here is welcome to do whatever they want....and ( I'm glad to see there seems to be a lot of people here who claim it wouldn't make any difference at all! .... I don't really believe it... but, its good to see it anyway). The question was asked... I'm giving my 2bits worth. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/9/2007 8:35:10 PM | When I met my wife, she weighed a touch over 145 pounds. She is 5'5'' tall. I thought it was fantastic. I like a woman with actual meat on her bones. Not too fat, not too skinny, etc. After we got together, she got pregnant with our 1st, her second child. She gained the weight, tried to lose it, lost some and quit. Then another little one, and the weight came and went a little. At her peak, she was well over the "magical" 200 pound line.
Was she still as "hot" as when we first met? You bet your ass she was. She will always be one of the most erotic, sensual, sexual, attractive women I have ever met. Now that we are not together, her weight fluctuates. Sometimes higher, sometimes lower. But I always look at her with a certain longing in my heart for that physical connection. No matter what she LOOKS like, she is always the one I loved. Weight is no barrier to that.
Anyone who says they are no longer attracted to someone they "love" due to thier weight gain is likely just a **** looking to escape or excuse cheating behavior. Neither one is acceptable.
If you do not want to be with her anymore, leave. But do not be a **** about it and use a lame excuse like weight gain. | |
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ackbar
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Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 84 | |
| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/9/2007 8:53:20 PM | | 50 pounds..... that is too much. I would have been on top of that before it got over 20. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/9/2007 10:13:39 PM | I see a lot of people get married all fit and trim, then put on the pounds once married, I guess they feel comfortable and are no longer as motivated to stay as fit to be more attractive since they have secured the deal,
not me though, no matter whether Im single, married, etc, fitness and good healthy eating will stay with me, and if I am lucky enough to find a wife one day, my good habits will rub off onto her, unless she is already into a healthy lifestyle. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/9/2007 11:57:19 PM | Sorry, that's on the shallow side in my book. Love is supposed to be a communion of souls, not a communion of the bodies; a melding of the minds, not just the flesh.
So let's assume your "love" doesn't gain 50 pounds. She maintains her same weight all her life, the same weight she was when you "fell in love" with her. Let's take out the 50 pounds and replace it with 50 years. You can be a gym rat all you want, but time will ultimately etch itself on you no matter how much Oil of Olay you slather on yourself. Are you still going to love her, or are you going to trade her in for something younger?
True love is eternal and transcends the flesh, IMO... | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:01:05 AM | I remember when my ex gained some poundage. Wow, he looked like he needed a "Manziere" for awhile - also; he was shaped like a pear. Didn't last for long, though. When I met him, he was really cut. He was into marital arts; but, the career thing got in the way and he gained some weight because he was sitting at t desk all day.
We all go through these kinds of things. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:08:12 AM | | Yes- definitely!!!! Love is love. You could always help them get in shape or offer support if a more serious health problem. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:17:01 AM | Is this question for real? Look, if he'll still love me when my C-cups are "down to my knee cups", I'll still adore him when he packs on the pudge.
If he's a little chubby, he's a happy pappy! | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:20:32 AM | | ^^ what about the hair loss thing...pudge is not a concern for me - but the hair loss thing...now if I ever got fat AND bald... hence the concern for the hair loss...I never gave it much thought - still do not either- yet there are many on this site who point it out to me! | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 1:13:56 AM | | I would still stay w/ them....only if their personality were to remain the same. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 1:58:15 AM | Damn, when I got involved with someone I was 40 pounds heavier when we first met... I had man boobies and all (still do unfortunately, though they are getting smaller), now that it has been 6 to 7 months after the relationship ended, I'm 60 pounds lighter in total since that first meeting. By the end of the summer if I can stick with it I should be mostly man boobless (Please, oh please!)
Even dudes who are overweight can get women, it's not that hard really. It's finding the right woman that can be difficult. It is more than just the physical appeal of a person that matters... Too many people get into filler relationships that are just there to pass the time until the real deal comes along. That's a sad harsh truth. I'm glad I'm not into that, but I know some people who are.
As to the whole weight gain thing...
If you love someone, you don't just say one day, 'man, I just can't love you anymore... because of your weight, that is', as that would be lame and make little to no sense. The thing is; if you do love someone you should encourage them to be healthier... Like if the person you care about smokes or does other things that are detrimental to their well being. That just makes sense, doesn't it?
Saying you love someone is only the beginning, in that every word must be followed up by an equally moving and meaningful action.
the giggleparts - I buy water in bottles because I'm a moron | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:13:15 AM | Oh dear God she's wanting to dump the poor **stard because shes sooooo superficial.
Is she that shallow? Obviously her love for him was false! The poor man is setting down to dinner w/ a shell of a woman and he's looking at her w/ love in his eyes for her and thinking what a wonderful woman he has and secretly she is testing the water to see if the majority is as superficial as she? Then when she compiles enough info which makes her feel its right to DUMP,......She sends the sledgehammer in to crush his love and then se skips happily away thinking it was the right decision?.........sad 
Fat -n Happy!
It's so funny to here the superficials say how thell never let themselves get this or that..Ha Ha ...you will! you will, It's coming superficials! and then youll sing a different tune. They dont love me cause I'm a fat ass....lol | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:36:55 AM |
Even dudes who are overweight can get women, it's not that hard really
not that hard eh, good for you. I haven't had a date in over a year, so I guess some guys find it easier than others. Personally I find it hard, if I didn't find it hard, why would I be on this site? | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:43:10 AM |
You can be a gym rat all you want, but time will ultimately etch itself on you no matter how much Oil of Olay you slather on yourself
I find it funny thats its always out of shape people who take shots at me, because of their lack of knowledge regarding fitness and nutrition, they have to prove themselves worthy. I would respect them more if they asked me questions to improve their fitness and feel better about themselves, I am always willing to help people improve their wellbeing.
sure we all age, but fit people generally age better than fat slobs,
what is Oil of Olay? Whats that got to do with being a gym rat? | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:53:08 AM | | Before a was married my future wife was a size ten.. When we were divorced she gained 280.000 English pounds pulse the house.. Vinnie | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 9:33:33 AM |
I find it funny thats its always out of shape people who take shots at me, because of their lack of knowledge regarding fitness and nutrition, they have to prove themselves worthy. I would respect them more if they asked me questions to improve their fitness and feel better about themselves, I am always willing to help people improve their wellbeing.
sure we all age, but fit people generally age better than fat slobs,
what is Oil of Olay? Whats that got to do with being a gym rat?
First off, I didn't realize I was taking a shot at you personally. Then I realized I hadn't used "OP" in my post, and it was right beneath yours, so, my fault. Please accept my apologies, because I wasn't even directing my comments at you.
Second off, I have more respect for people who actually do something to make themselves fit and attractive than for people who make comments that are naturally thin. Obviously, Hikingfitguy, you take the time to keep fit, and that's commendable.
Third off, my point is that true love transcends the flesh. No amount of Oil of Olay (a moisturizer for decreasing wrinkles) or exercise will change the fact that your "Hikerfitgirl" is going to be all wrinkly and old some day like, say, your grandmother. Can your "love" handle that?
And let's take this further. What if your Hikerfitgirl gets into a car accident and loses a limb? Or maybe she gets breast cancer and has a radical mastectomy done to keep her from dying young? Are you going to stick with her, or are you going to cut and run?
The flesh is malleable. The soul is not. Look to the soul for love and you'll never go wrong... | |
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ackbar
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Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 98 | |
| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 9:36:44 AM |
I find it funny thats its always out of shape people who take shots at me, because of their lack of knowledge regarding fitness and nutrition,
You're not alone man. | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:38:20 AM | I just went through this problem with my ex. We were together about 2 years and he put on 40-50 lbs after the first year and a quarter or so.
I really had a hard time with it because he was 43 and the weight really aged his face - he went from having beautiful high cheekbones and a strong jaw to having a puffy face, baggy eyes and heavy jowls - he ended up looking way older than me or any guy that I'd be into. Also, the weight affected our sex life because he just didn't have the same stamina - he'd be puffing and weezy like mad - I'd get him to come fast just to avoid him having a heart attack - plus the weight limited the positions we could get into.
Call me superficial, but I want what I want, plus I'm in great shape and getting better all the time.
Anyways, it really bothered him and I felt like I had to be careful about saying anything to him, but at the same time I would feel really frustrated when he'd break one diet resolution after another almost within a day of starting. I tried to diet with him, but he'd just go out with his buddies and drink a case a beer and pig out. So I lost weight that I didn't even need to lose while he got fatter.
We're not together anymore for reasons that may or may not be related (he started to hang around an ex - maybe he cheated, maybe not) and I wonder if I could have built him up more in spite of the fact that I wasn't feeling it, but what's done is done. Now I'm relieved because I don't want to play nurse 10 years from now to some geezer who totally let himself go.
Maybe I'm selfish too! haha! | |
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| love and weight gain
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:46:18 AM | Right... if you love someone, and you're concerned for them, you should definitely say something before it gets out of hand. Trust me, it can cause serious problems down the road... perhaps the partner would be less attracted to the one who'd gained weight, or it could be a sign of being too comfortable, etc.
However, if they don't feel that they have a problem with the weight (and you've tried being supportive in ways such as, "Honey, let's go to the gym today," or "Why don't we go swimming/ any other form of exercise/ etc") then just sit back and love them for it. They're still the same person... with just a little extra padding... which can sometimes be a good thing, if you know what I mean. | |
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