| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:02:54 AM | | I think you need to look at the circumstances first. Were the two dads one night stands or was she married to both of them? I think that says a lot right there. Secondly, what about men that have two or more kids with two or more women? I have seen that a lot as well. Are they judged as harshly? | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:07:19 AM |
Secondly, what about men that have two or more kids with two or more women? I have seen that a lot as well. Are they judged as harshly?
I sincerely hope so Txsweetie, my useless lump of an older half-brother has at last count 7 children by 4 different moms, and I wish to God one of them would snap and hunt him down and castrate him 
Needless to say, he isn't invited to the family reunions, we couldn't afford to feed all those runts  | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 28 | |
| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:13:38 AM | Some people on this thread might be judging the parents. I'm not. I'm just responding to the OPs question about kids being considered "baggage".
these are 2 totally SEPARATE issues:
1. are kids baggage
2. judging the character of the parent (I may have judgements on them, but I'm not discussing them on this thread)
The parent could have many great characteristics and I might not have many/any negative judgements on him/her, but I STILL don't want the kid-baggage....no matter how wonderful the parent is.
EXCELLENT QUESTION! And yes I certainly DO use the same "rules" for dads and moms. It really irritates the bejibbies out of me when I see double standards on this topic. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:15:54 AM | | Me too carolin, my baggage comes from bentley's store. Someone's baggage is the extra weight they are physically carrying, not mentally, LOL! Now thats what I call baggage, or spare tire. Men want it all too easily, thats why they cannot handle the modern woman. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:16:15 AM | she sounds easy...
you may have sex with her at least...
but ask yourself do you need to make a third child for her?  | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 31 | |
| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:17:00 AM | tiger: I can top that...I work at a school and one of our new moms has 7 kids by 7 different dads!! Oh and she has mooooooooore issues....but that's enough for this thread.
Like my mom used to say (NOT TO ME!!!!) "They're so dumb, IF they had a brain, they'd take it out and play with it." | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:21:30 AM | | I am totally blown away from someone who first of all, hasnt got his act together...Why did you start getting involved in the beginning if you knew she had kids...then so what if she has kids from different fathers...I as one, have 3 from 3 different fathers...I am here to meet someone as she hopefully is to find love, best friend, a lover, and someone to enjoy the rest of my life with...you are really stepping yourself way high thinking you have to take care of these kids..maybe deep down you are looking for that..you better think long and hard about what life is all about...reality is something we have to deal with in life whether you get it or not...I cant believe you are on the forum here talking about a topic like this..you are totally embarrassing yourself and the women and her kids...get a grip on life and grow up!! I think she is, as myself, doing just fine without you or any man! If you dont want any type of headache, relationship burdens, then you arent ready to meet someone...PERIOD | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 1:23:03 PM |
i have been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now and she seems really cool, and she is very pretty.
the one big thing that is holding me back from asking her out is the fact that she has 2 children who are something like 6 years apart and 2 diferent dads. her oldest ones dad is in the picture and her youngest one who is under 2 that dad has not been very consistant.
does that seem like alot of baggage to you?
she says she is not looking for a father for her youngest one but i dont see how she is not if the dad is not around like he should be.
For the men - would you date a great chick who had 2 kids by 2 diferent guys? would you consider getting serious with her or would you just keep it casual with her?
I have 2 kids with 2 different dads. Neither of them see their dad but that is their father's choice not mine. I will not force my kids on their dads, no matter what. If they straighten up and want to see their kids I will let them. I don't think you should see it as a lot of extra baggage if you actually like her. If she's a good person and a good mom then maybe you should give her a chance. Get serious with her but only if you're going to be honest. Don't hurt her.. she's probably been hurt enough. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 1:25:09 PM |
she sounds easy...
you may have sex with her at least...
but ask yourself do you need to make a third child for her?
The kids were six years apart! Those could've been the only two guys she slept with! My gosh.. people JUDGING and jumping to conclusions. That is STUPID and IGNORANT. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 2:02:49 PM |
The only exception is if the natural father passed away, otherwise all these single mothers show a serious lack of judgement - Nothing but problems.
The only serious lack of judgement going on is yours. I am a single mother and I resent the statement.
In my case, I did not have a choice, it was my circumstance. My husband at the time left me when I was pregnant for my best friend. We were married for 3 years, having children was our next progression, so was I wrong to think that? | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 2:41:02 PM | wow I have 10 kids with 11 fathers... Kids are for life, realationships come and go. At least at the end of my life I know who will be there...my kids. What difference does it make who the father is or how many...don't get involved with us moms if you don't like kids or them having different dads. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 2:55:44 PM | I just think you need to look beyond the stereo type of women who have several kids with different fathers and look at the person and her situation and go from there. I have known people who have kids with different dads and they are not sluts or welfare moms. BUT I have known people who are. You just have to look beyond the obvious. And not all moms are looking for a dad for their kids like the typical stereo type for a single mom. I have two wonderful kids (same dad) but I am not looking for a father for them.
And to the guy who thinks there should only be single mothers due to their husband passing away.....snap to reality!! Most single moms DID NOT choose to be single moms. You can not stop someone from leaving their family!!! So I think the men who leave should be judged not the moms who stay with their kids and raise them. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 2:57:56 PM | I lived with a girl for a period of about 8 months she had 2 kids with two different fathers one was 8yrs old the other only 14 months when i came into the picture....
There is nothing wrong with a girl having kids with two different fathers, think of if from a guys perspective what if you had 2 kids with two different girls? how would people think of you, ah your a man whore right? well whatever.... the only thing i see wrong with the picture is getting the kids involved.. when i left my ex. the kids were devistated.
the eldest one had a full time father, but the young one didnt, i was the only father figure in his life.
If you care for this girl deeply enough it shouldnt matter how many kids she's got.. on the other hand if your just dating then thats it your just dating your not asking her to bear another child or marry you.
good luck | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 3:14:16 PM |
she says she is not looking for a father for her youngest one but i dont see how she is not if the dad is not around like he should be.
For the men - would you date a great chick who had 2 kids by 2 diferent guys? would you consider getting serious with her or would you just keep it casual with her?
U also stated there is a 6 year age gap between the 2 children...this would indicate (to me) that she does not jump from bed to bed in the hopes of getting herself pregnant. I think, that maybe she just would like some someone in her life, not someone to be a father to her children. I mean, has she had alot of boyfriends or men coming in and out of her life like a revolving door? If so, then yes, she maybe looking for a father for her children, but I would give her the benefit of the doubt and take the chance that she is sincere. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 3:34:11 PM | | edit: I have no children, but I would think any single mother would not take finding a father for her children as lightly as you might think.(if indeed that is what you really believe) I think she would be happier with no man in her life than to choose the wrong one to introduce into her childrens' life. Don't assume the worst about her until you have known her longer than a couple of weeks, you wouldn't want someone to think ill of you in such a short time, would u? | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 7:08:22 PM | i never once said that this girl was a whore or anything like that. actually she was married for 5 years with her first childs father. divorced when child was 2. she met the second guy something like 3 years after she was divorced she was with the second guy for a year and they lived together when she got pregnant, but they have not been together for a year now.
Yes i do have a son who is 10 years old and lives with his mom. He's a big part of my life and i rarly make any desisions without thinking about his well being.
thankyou all for your comments. i have read them very closely i definatly if anything would like to be friends with her she is a very nice and we seem to have alot in common.
I would like to take things slow with her there are alot of kids involved.
I never once meant to insult anyone with my question of "baggage" it was just a word i used, and apparently it was the wrong word. im sorry if i insulted anyone. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 7:12:51 PM | HeyImcute: holy crap man...all I can say is DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!
Sheeze, oh my god, and holy crap.....you offer evidence for my point of veiw. THANK YOU. It is beyond devestation and disrespect to do that to children. Good lord people wake up!!!!!
How on God's Earth could you have been so unbelievably self-centered as to barge into those kids' HOME and tear things up like you did??? People like you never cease to astonish me in your total disregard for others, especially kids...and the most private, personal space...their HOME where they should feel safest and most secure. For you people it's all about "me, me, me, me..."
Unbelieveable.
But, I don't mean to attack you alone...trust me I KNOW it is so cool and totally accepted to mistreat kids like this these days. As long as mommy/daddy has a new squeeze keeping the bed warm ...well then...screw how the kids feel and what affect it might have on them. You are not alone....sadly....very sadly you have a lot of company. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/12/2006 10:00:03 PM | Wow, all I have to say is you can tell the people on here who have & love kids and those who should be fixed.
Come on people these are human beings at their most impressionable age. It's up to the man and woman to take the responsibility to decide when the best time is for the other to meet their children and even more if they both have children if/when they meet. Use common sense. Put the kids first & take it SLOOOOOOW!!! | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/13/2006 5:12:00 AM | | i dont see the problem alot of single parents dont want mommy and daddys for their children they want them to have a friend thats it.. i cant tell u now if i was dating some man and he tried to play daddy to my angel his ass would be goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thats not cool she has a dad she doesnt see him hes an ass but none the less she has one i dont remember ne one else sperm being around at the time i got knocked up so she doesnt need fake daddys id rather her not have one at all | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/13/2006 7:58:04 AM | COMMUNICATE!
You need to talk to this woman and see what she wants. What she says she wants. What she really wants. If you have questions or concerns ask. If she is too fragile to be honest, then that may give a clue as to her history. | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/13/2006 11:08:56 AM |
op save yourself RUN.
LOL!
I'd date her,
you never know, maybe the 1st marriage/etc. didn't work out for whatever reason/s but she was dedicated to it while involved, and then time passed & she got into another relationship, ended up with a child from that one & the guy was a jerk or left or something,
just because she has 2 kids from 2 different dads doesn't mean she's not worth the time of day.
I agree with someone else here though,
if you're questioning it/her, you may consider not even trying since you've basically already made a pre-judgement/assement of her-- IMO | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/13/2006 3:01:31 PM | OP 1st off i don't consider kids to be baggage. they are kids with feelings and need to be loved just like you. how many women have you slept with. how many times have you been married. how many jobs have you had in your life. how many mistakes have you made. would you consider you baggage also?
take another look at this woman and her kids. if you see them only as baggae and her not to be a good woman then don't get into something that you are'nt willing to make work.
good luck | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/14/2006 11:32:43 AM | | You sound shallow. As a single mother of two boys by different dads (i was in committed relationships w/ both) I am going to say this she is likely not looking for a father for her child. Personally, I want a man that respects my children not someone whom will assue respinsibility for them. My point trust what shes saying. Yet, the fact your evn asking this shows she may be too good for you | |
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| she has 2 kids 2 dif dads
Posted: 6/14/2006 11:33:11 AM | [Needless to say, he isn't invited to the family reunions, we couldn't afford to feed all those runts ]
RUNT
1. An undersized animal, especially the smallest animal of a litter.
2. Offensive. A short person
Those "runts" are children and whether you like it or not they are related to you. Remember something, they did not ask to be born and surely not with differnt mothers or fathers. To call them "runts" is rude and ignorant. Maybe I wouldn't invite my brother, but the children are not to blame and would be welcome (I am sure it would not break the bank to feed them). Maybe instead of putting them down, you could be a good uncle and teach them that the lifestyle their father lives is not right. Instead of outcasting them from the family, I am sure they suffer enough with having to share their father. I sure hope your mother does not share your veiws, because she could be missing out on some wonderful grand-children! And I can say grand-children are one of the sweetest blessings we can have and it could be one of those "runts" that will be her blessing one day.
I just think it is very sad that the children are the ones who suffer, because of ignorance.
Sorry, you touched a nerve, just upsets me when children are blamed for their parents actions. | |
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