| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:07:25 AM | To the OP
I am just starting the process. I am actually NOT the primary custodial parent... but have a legit case to gain full custody... and its going to cost me an arm and two legs... or three tanks of premium gasoline... depends on my attorneys primary vehicle. But its worth every last liter!!! | |
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lilrob
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Joined: 4/15/2004
Msg: 27 | |
| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:21:32 PM | I was never married to the mother of my child. The price was around $20,000 CDN.
That was a few years ago.
The worst is that I know there is more to come.
The best is my bank loves me and you can always make more money.
Children can't fight for themselves....if you don't who will? | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:50:00 PM | you guys should honestly take a look at the kids who have not HAD the life and money you all seem to be able to throw around......
I lost out on a childhood because of the courts. I am adopted and I went throught HELL and back with the fact that I didnt know who i am, where I came from and who my birthparents were.
I was adopted when i was four and I have been fighting to have MY records released because I want to know where in the hell I came from. But because of a case that seems to be going on with my family, as my biological mother is/has not been able to contact me because i moved to another province.... I dont know who I am, I dont know where I was born, i dont know my real name (as it was changed when custody was transferred), I dont know anything other than my birthdate and that i have 4 brothers.... I dont know if there are more out there... But so far, nothing has come up in my search.
Next time you want to **** about the COST of custody, think about what it is COSTING your KIDS. maybe then you will learn that life is not about money, it is about love and happiness, and maybe growing upo like you were intended to.
Sorry for the ranting and raviong, but that really makes me mad to see you all think about just the cost of the money, and not caring about the kids. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:25:12 PM | excdtgurl
Sorry for the ranting and raviong, but that really makes me mad to see you all think about just the cost of the money, and not caring about the kids.
I dont think you have a clue what this thread is all about, We are all fathers on here who are good parents and not dumping our children on someone else to raise. Some of us are fortunate to have the money to fight for custody and some of us have made huge sacrifices. treemanbdj is a prime example, he liquidated his property and company to gain custody of his child, you need to get your facts straight before you go bashing on someone you have no idea about, dont be mad at us because you werent fortunate enough to have one of us as your father, to fight for you. Im sorry about your situation, but we didnt cause it and we are the opposite of what you have experienced.
quotes from this thread........not about money but the happiness and safety of our children
The best is my bank loves me and you can always make more money.
Children can't fight for themselves....if you don't who will?
your kids are priceless spend what ya gotta spend, they are worth every dime, they will always love you, women and wives come and go
I also think cost meant nothing....it was worth every penny and every gray hair
i would not trade it for nothing in the world and if i had to do it all over again i would do it in a heart beat
I would pay another $35,000 to get that **** away from my children.
6. nonexpiring Canadawide restraining order and children's wellbeing & safety.PRICELESS!!!!!!
I would have fought and liquidated right down to the price of a box of shotgun shells.
Do you need more examples? actually read the forums | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:06:50 PM | My hat is off to all you dads who step up and express interest in your children.
My ex had no interest in his son. I would have loved to "share custody".......it would have cost him nothing but time.
Even offered to leave my home on weekends and offered him the opportunity to stay here with our son. Food provided!!!!!
I firmly believe that children should not have to leave their home due to the separation or divorce of parents. Of course my attorney thought I was crazy!
If only he was interested. Like I said, my hats off to all you dads who are interested in your children. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:27:47 PM | The responses in this thread are priceless...
I think my watershed moment came shortly after I was awarded custody...
Initially I had asked for custody during the divorce & I told the judge I felt that our daughter was gifted & that I'd spend time with her, attempting to help her develop her talents... I got laughed at and lost...
Fast forward to 4 years later, I was awarded custody, daughter went from being on in school suspension (when I didn't have custody) to a gifted & talented program in 6 weeks after I was given custody.
This year marks the 6th year in a row she will have attended a gifted summer camp, she passed my math skills several years ago.
I guess the point of this thread if there is one is that it's an expensive uphill battle for dads to be awarded custody, and that the courts default to mom getting custody.
The most priceless comment I heard from CASA (court appointed special advocate) was "If they're not beating or screwing the kid to death, we tend to leave them where they're at." | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:32:04 PM | I understand what you all are saying, but thinking about it from my point of view is a definate blessing.
as the child of parents who did divorce, and who I never really knew,
it was hard on me growing up. As I stated before, i went through Hell and Back to try and get my own life under control.
I think we should all take another look at how the children in this feel. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:03:46 PM | | This entire thread has been about the children and making sacrifices for them to provide a good life for them, some had money to fight and spent tons, others didnt spend a dime, but it was always about doing what was best for our kids | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/16/2006 4:15:27 PM | ^^^^^dirtguy78^^^^
You can't get blood from a rock!!!!!!!
excdtgurl.......keep rereading thread from top to bottom until you graspe...
If you can't...Here's a good hint.....your comments are being posted on the wrong thread... You are preaching to the choir.
I doubt you will find another thread is such agreement.
I Would personally like to THANK YOU to the 2 postings though as your articulation compound all the parents here their just rewards for fighting are highlighted by yourself.
Good luck, at 19 you are just a kid with your whole life ahead of you foget your past at all possible times in your life....( well except that momment of thoughts of birth control) look forward and be strong.
BDJ | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/17/2006 12:46:52 AM | I think we should all take another look at how the children in this feel.
This is why fathers who actually care about their children have to spend so much money on them... because some a**hole doesn't care about our children. We have ex-spouses who would tell us we are good parents, but when it comes time to present a sworn affidavit to the courts say that we don't change our children's diapers. And why? So that they can keep our children away from us just to ensure they will get maximum child support. Once they get that maximum child support and the agreement is in place that we are not to have our children more than X-number of hours per week, then come the offers for us to take these children whom we are apparently incapable of raising (well, at least this is the story the court hears).
And there are other people who are not good parents who are not able to recognize it, but the courts grant these people custody anyway.
What this thread is about is the fact that money shouldn't be the only way that a father can show how much he loves his children, but ultimately that's what it boils down to in the courts. If a father isn't willing to give up every single possession he has, courts will rarely ever be satisified that he truly cares for his children and/or is the better parent. And as such... in fact the courts don't give a shit about children, all they care about is how much money they can get by causing more turmoil in lives that are already being flipped upside down. It took me until my own proceedings to understand why there were so many jokes of people fantasizing about the untimely demise of lawyers. This thread is not anybody really caring a whole lot about the money they lost, it's about the a**holes who profitted by screwing with their children's lives. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/17/2006 5:50:10 AM | My ex too wants to go to court ............I have sole-custody, and he doesn't want to change that he just wants the kids on ALL holidays and lower his child support to almost nothing ..............he lost his job (again), has no car, lives with his new girlfriend out of town.
I have spend over $2000.00 since before Christmas going back and forth, has he continues to change a Separation Agreement, I put in place over 2 years ago.
This money battle continues to go on ...............but like mentioned before my kids are priceless. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/17/2006 6:04:31 AM | That Guy Him........Don't want to get off track, just want to say ONE word.
AMEN.......AMEN.........AMEN.......................AMEN....................................AMEN........................................................................................................................ A Fricken AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oops 2 words sorry.
BDJ | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/17/2006 2:14:44 PM | I'll admit that when I first saw this thread posted I was a little nervous that it was going to turn into an anti-mom thread.
However, you have all shown remarkable dedication to your children, and you all seem to grasp that just because your childrens mother wasnt the best person-- doesnt mean all women are that way.... Now if only we could get the women to understand that concept!
LOL... Kudos to all the dads! | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/17/2006 8:38:28 PM |
I'll admit that when I first saw this thread posted I was a little nervous that it was going to turn into an anti-mom thread.
If anything, I have a heck of a lot more respect for single moms, it's hard work raising cildren on your own. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/18/2006 12:21:13 AM | | I WAS TRIED OF MY SON SEEING TO MANY MEN IN MY EX'S LIFE .THERE WAS NO MONEY COST. BUT IN TIME MY SON AND I WERE APART THERE IS NO PRICE THAT CAN BRING BACK THE TIME I LOST WITH HIM.I DON'T PUT A COST ON THE LOVE OF MY SON.FUTURE COST OF RAISING HIM ?WHO CARES (IT WILL BE EXPENSIVE).COST!WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDRENS FEELINGS AND THEIR COST?AS SOME OF YOU SAY. --I SAY MAN UP --ALL YOU CARE IS HOW MUCH IT COST.I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR MY SON.COULD YOU? | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/18/2006 12:45:52 AM | ^^^ YEP^^^
Already gave of 14 months of my life sitting with no bail as the state went on a witch hunt coupled with lawyers screwing me harder then I did to get my daughter here.
Guess what, No guilty verdict, and the same hunters returned my child 2 years later.
Money is just a bench mark as it is the common exchange on the planet, and a question OP posed.
I've only been away from my child by court order or false incarceration.
"........BUT IN TIME MY SON AND I WERE APART THERE IS NO PRICE THAT CAN BRING BACK THE TIME I LOST WITH HIM.I DON'T PUT A COST ON THE LOVE OF MY SON..."
Since you claim not to have ponied up a penny, care to elaborate why you were apart from your son??? I answered your question.
Thanks
BDJ. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:48:34 AM | I just want to say how great all you dads are. My ex fought for sole custody and tried to claim I was insane. Although I'd cared for them at home since birth and he'd been a work-a-holic and hardly home, he felt he could provide better day-to-day care. I actually had hopes through the court process that he might more value his time with the kids and spend more time with them. At first he did, I made sure there was nothing in the way for him to do this, he had them every weekend and Tuesday evenings.
When the court ordered joint custody, he cut his time with them to every second weekend and open for other times. Major holidays we alternate. But with this change there was a pretty deep apathy....last Christmas he chose to go to Germany with his new wife and kids and my kids didn't get any time with him. Every second weekend is as much as he can handle. Dr visits? Teacher interviews? Unless I call him and specifically say something is going on he just doesn't do it. He feels it is my responsibility to notify him of such things.
This really isn't grousing. He pays decent child support, half of the kids expenses, which ensures their basic survival. He does generally take them every second weekend, I enjoy the break and mostly they enjoy it. But I don't see a spark with him about having them, it is as if it is an obligation.
I think it is amazing that there are guys out there who would fight for their kids and love them so much that they'd give up anything to be full-time dads and give their kids the best upbringing. And I really think it is a matter of who is the better suited parent....
You guys all deserve a pat on the back.
Happy Father's Day | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/24/2006 12:18:30 PM | I commend you all for taking that kind of responsibility on yourselves.
Our children are worth more than any posession we may ever own. My hat is off to all the dads out there who step up and are men instead of dumping their kids off on the ex | |
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Posted: 6/24/2006 1:06:59 PM | | well were do i start? well i am 22 years old, my ex just left me almost 4 weeks ago. she was cheating on me and i found out. i wanted to make it work and she told me to get the f*ck out. but why shuld i be the one that had to leave. right? wrong, when i left i left everything, $400.00 t.v., $800.00 table set, well lets put it this why, the only thing i took was my clothes, everthing in that house i payed for. we have a 4 year old daughter. she means everthing to me, words can't say how much she means to me. i went to court and filed the papers, but u know what i couldn't take my daughter from her mother. i know how it feels. any why, i give her, not court orderd i just hand her $100.00 a week. but i am the bad parent, thats why i try to see her ever day that i can, i am not the one that smokes pot, i don't do any thing but i am the bad person. how does that work? we know have joint custody. | |
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Posted: 6/24/2006 3:20:43 PM | | jmc if you want sole custody of your little girl dont give up keep fighting. its hard to prove a mother unfit but it can be done. and moeny shouldnt matter just keep fighting and take her to court for custody every six months until you get it. its a hard fight but you can do it. | |
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WWCND
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Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 50 | |
| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/24/2006 4:13:54 PM | | thats funny because my ex won't go for any type of custody because he doesn't want the debt he'd end up incurring, so in his case, his kids aren't worth it, they aren't priceless, and honestly, that's okay with me as long as it keeps him away | |
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