| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 8/21/2006 4:55:46 PM | Spider
[In Canada, Family Law cases don't cost anything to file, or to have heard.]
Your right it is free to file, however most of the deals are back room lawyer only situations. I became self represented after blowing through all the money I could spare on a liar (lawyer) While he did get me to the point where it was possible to finish it myself, without his robe and the alphabet soup after his name, I would probably still be embroiled in the battle. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 11/18/2006 3:14:44 PM | | It cost me $40.00 that's right $40.00 to file the documents after learning how to file a motion to very which all single parents should learn. u can send $20,000.00 on a court order today and I know how i can change it tomorrow for $40.00 filing fees. It may have gone up a couple of bucks since i did it in 2002. And yes she pays me child support which i give to my daughter. and yes she even paid child support for my stepdaughter who i adopted (her Bio),which again i gav the $$$$ to my daughter.My X has learned do not argue with me or it will cost you BIG TIME. Play with the bull and you will get you know? the shaft in the ..........so to all u single parents learn how to file "A MOTION TO VARY" best of luck to all | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:32:51 PM | Well I know when i did the court Stuff... I simply approached Family duty Counsel They are a free service provided in most courts in Canada... And in some instances will go through the process with you if it's something that can be resolved that day type thing.
They wrote up all the docs for me.. and presto, my EX simply agreed to them. End of Story. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 11/18/2006 11:05:35 PM | | cost to much. did the home study bullsh-t , seems like the lawyers dont really care where the kids live or what you are going through. The people that do the home studies dont really care either, even though they have such good universtiy education. One woman whom we talked with had no children, never been married, had many health problems of her own, but yet her word was good enough for the courts as to what was best for my kids, because my x had been through the ropes before and knew enough to smile pretty and answer the questions just the way the lady wanted them, not with the truth, and the nice lady couldn't even see thing in the x as to what I told her I had to live with. When you finally have enough of the paying, they stop listening to what you have to say, then your just a jerk. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:15:39 AM | It only cost we roughly 100K out of pocket... Can't actually put a price on lost work and commercal contracts I was forced to give up, and lost value on sold assests and retirment money.
BUT...... the state spent millions....lol.. Whcich happens to be ran 50% state funds 50% Federal... So all the USA readers ponied up close to a 1/2 million dollars(in my eyes) for me to have my child.
I call my daughter the 2 million dollar baby..
Can someone tell me what in cost the great state to run a courtroom with a Judge,court reporter, secretary,1/2 dozen baliffs, the 4 state attornies(my daughter's/wife's/DDS's/ and a State Attorney), 3 social workers( daughter's/X's and supervisor), and at least one state doctor was there everytime.I lost track after more then a dozen court dates... I actually got a kick out of watching the Judge and 1/2 dozen attornies all pull out their date books trying to match and cram the NEXT hearing within the 30 days required by law....
Then there is the visiting center, the clerks doing the paperwork to redo the court dates. The transporttation of moving my daugther around. The year she spent in government housing. The state doctors theX,child,and I were ordered to see. The parenting classes, the anger managemnet classses. The DDS inspectors that came to my house 3 pre-trial, and 3 post trials (until the case was officiallly closed) and ent to the Foster house. The bill for a year in Foster care. The drug classes and parenting classes the X was ordered.
Sooooo, all you POF'ers that are in the USA and had to cover the Federal Governments price tag for the 50% budget of the Family courts in my state.......
Sorry my local governmet chases their tail, and it had to be done with such non- accountantability.....but....
Money well spent.... My daughter is almost 7, advanced in school, and not one dime from anywhere even tax break or reduced school lunches come in this household.
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/21/2008 9:43:56 AM | I don't really think it should be a question of cost, rather the couples should decide what is best for the kids sake. Personally, I find it nausiating that it becomes a battle of "who can afford more in legal fees" as apposed to which environment will be best for the kids. I have heard many instances where men (and women) will purposely keep the custody issue in court in an attemt to drain the other party financially in an attempt to gain an upper hand. Sad to say, my worthless cousin was one of these people. He was laughing his as# off as he told me the story of how he drug custody through the courts until his ex couldn't afford to fight anymore. SHAME on you people who do this! I'm currently in a situation like this- where the childs father isn't fit, has a history of drug/alcohol abuse, a prison record for aggrevated assault against his own brother, a history of protection orders against him (one was to keep him away from a child), a warrant for his arrest (fled the state rather than going to his court date for exposing himself and urinating infront of a police officer), history of drunken brawls, you name it (No, I didn't know all this when I became pregnant- I guess it's a good idea to get background checks on potential dates!). His own lawyer fired him. He just got a new one though. Now he is trying to keep things in court- even though I have already been awarded custody- in hopes that he will drain my finances, I won't be able to afford legal representation, and I will give up. Keep in mind, he has more money in his checkbook than I do in mine, because mine is spent supporting myself and my kids (two of which are disabled). He contributes NOTHING towards our disabled sons care- I have raised him on my own thus far. Yet he says he's the better parent. My question- If he's such a great parent, why does he feel it is unimportant to help support his son? Frankly, I could give a sh*t less though. I make sure my kids have everything they need-plus some.
My whole point is that instead of nickling and diming each other, if there is no reason that the other parent is unfit, let the courts decide and quit being as*es about it. If you are the better parent that is one thing, if not, quit making it into a money battle, and focus on making your childs life easier. Thats my honest opinion..... | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:21:38 PM | myladyshyanne:
The problem with letting courts decide anything is.....they suck at it! Anyone who truly believes that the court is going to do due diligence or spend more than a few hours to investigate these issues is kidding themselves. The same courts give foster kids back to unworthy parents and then we read about the child dying or getting hurt. No thanks, I'll battle it for all I got before I let some overburdened case worker who spends an hour in the home determine who gets the child.
The belief that a Dad cannot raise a child equally as well as Mom is Bull Sh*t. This isn't the 50's, moms aren't staying at home with the kids anymore they have jobs and careers just like Dads do. As such, there is no difference who drops them off at day care or picks them up. There is no difference who tucks them in at night or washes their clothes (yes I separate the whites). Do they need their mother? Yes they do, just as much as they need their Dad. If dad is willing and able to care for them he should be given an equal opportunity to do so.
I agree that parents need to work on their ability to work these things out. But I submit, if they were able to work through problems of this magnitude, most wouldn't be getting a divorce in the first place.
jmho | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/23/2008 2:15:09 PM | coachjfl,
If you read my post, I clearly said that it is different if you ARE the better parent, and that my main complaint was when unfit fathers OR mothers would drag the case through court to nickle and dime the other parent in an attempt to gain the upper hand- YES there IS parents that do it (more to be vindictive than for the childs sake). I dont care- THAT is just wrong. I also clearly said custody needed to be based on the environment that is best for the kids.
As for the courts deciding- I know they are not perfect- HOWEVER, it is not wise to let bickering adults decide- as they see things through prejudice eyes. If one party is afraid that the courts will not properly investigate the other- then that party should do some homework, and submit their findings to the FOC. Frankly, making an alligation that is unsubstanciated does nothing for a decision. BUT if you provide FOC with court/police records to prove it- then they will often times delve deeper. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/23/2008 3:35:23 PM |
In Canada, Family Law cases don't cost anything to file, or to have heard.
Who told you that...
I spent some where close to 100K in Canada, 9 years ago it depends on your income..
All that to have a judge tell me that the mother was on welfare and you work full time, she can have the child. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:29:13 PM | nothing,
shortly before we split up someone turned us into DCFS because i was working for a computer type setting firm as a driver and was on call 24/7 I was making alot of trips into their main plant about 5 hours round trip for each trip with 23 trips a day and with trips into O'hare airport in the midle of the night and sometimes downtown chicago. when I wasn't working I was trying to clean house which apparently she had a problem with. someone turned us into DCFS so I thought I could get rid of her because she didn't want to do anything except run around bars and cheat. DCFS decided the mother has all rights. so they threw me out of my own house and gave her everything. awhile later kids kept getting headlice and every weekend I spent trying to get rid of them just so they could keep getting them back. in the meantime every attorney I talked to said because DCFS was involved it would cost me $5,000 - $10,000 unless DCFS decided in my favor. I was advised that if she was as bad as I said sooner or later DCFS would wake up and she would hang herself. within 1 year DCFS gave up on her and took them away from her and I would need to go to court to get custody and they would stand up for me this time. I went to another lawyer that was new and he said he would take my case pro bono as long as DCFS was on my side now. 1 day in court and I had my kids. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:54:12 AM | Crocodilelady, there is no way to know to whom you're replying, especially in a thread this old.
Perhaps if you quoted the text of the message to which you're referring? Or at least the message number on the left side of the screen.
On topic: It cost me a couple thousand, perhaps... mediator and lawyer fees. But then again, my ex-wife ain't the most maternal person on the planet, so she wasn't really that interested in having them more than part-time. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:59:43 PM | HICKORY,NC HERE.
I HAVE SPENT OVER 15,000 SO FAR. SINCE DEC.10TH OF 07 AND I STILL SEE NO END IN SITE.
I HAVE HAD TO PAY FOR MY LAWYER AND SHE GETS BY WITHOUT PAYING A DIME. BURKE COUNTY HAS WOMEN JUDGES WHO DOES NOT SEE WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD.... BUT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE WOMAN.MY EX HAS BROKEN EVERY LAW THE JUDGE HAS MADE AND GOTTEN BY WITH IT.
IF IT HAD BEEN ME... I WOULD BE UNDER THE JAIL WITH A 1,000,000 DOLLAR BOND.
SO THE COURTS DO LOOK IN THE FAVOR OF THE WOMAN AND NOT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD.
MY 9 MONTH OLD DAUGHTER IS BEING ABUSED AND CANNOT GET ANYTHING DONE TO HELP HER.
THANKS,JAMES FROM HICKORY,NC    | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:35:12 PM | | Yep I'm battling the NC family court system as well. This state is supposed to be a 50/50 custody state where the father and mother are entitled to equal custody under the law HOWEVER it's up to the family court justices to enforce those laws and they do it with a heavy prejudice against fathers. I filed for custody in March and don't even have a court date yet. My ex had a suicide attempt in March and had to be hospitalized for 10 days. She is now diagnosed as "bipolar" and is on disability and still I was unsuccessful in my first attempt at custody because she lives with her retired parents and I am a single father who lives alone. That same judge would have no problem awarding custody to a single unemployed mother yet wouldn't hear my case. In fact it happens everyday. I have no criminal record and no history of violence or drug abuse. I own my own business and have for 15 years. I am stable. There is no reason why I shouldn't have full custody under the circumstances and I have spent 7,000 in legal fees just trying to get the court to enforce the joint custody that I am entitled to. Further more when she was in the hospital she told the case worker that I wasn't contributing enough. I pay her 150.00 per week cash, Pay a 300.00 per month car payment, & Pay 185.00 per week day care among other expenses in return get almost no time with my son and now i have to show monthly receipts and reports to the child support agency just because she said so and despite the facts that i have three years worth of returned checks to the contrary. I would gladly give every thing that I own and every thing I ever will own for my son's well being but the truth is the court is not looking out for him they are protecting her. My lawyer says things will work out once we get our day in court. I can not wait. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you to get custody?
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:54:35 AM | hello from australia
Its cost me $80,000 +, 1 yr in courts, i saw my kids for 6weeks out that year, now 9 court cases later i am found without fault, i have the family home, i have a job, i have the car etc...
On the other hand she had her legal cost paid buy the state, has nowhere to live, no job, no car, has being court out lying through out the whole court case.
Now the judge decicded to do share care 50/50
The mother refuses to comunicate she has being orded she is not allowed at change overs because of the trouble she starts etc... i ask how is share care supposed to work??? the kids have had no education in 8 months?? and she is a qualified teacher??
and the law says we are to be treated as eaquals? | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you tOget custody?
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:30:29 PM | I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I AM DUE IN COURT TOMORROW (7/03/08)I HAVE BEEN AT THIS FOR GOING ON 9 MONTHS NOW.
I DO FEEL IT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD. AND IT IS NOT ALWAYS THE WOMAN. EVERYTIME I HAVE WENT INTO COURT, HER LAWYER HAS TALKED ABOUT NOTHING BUT MONEY AND WHAT AND HOW MUCH I HAVE MADE. HOW I SPENT IT. MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN SOOOO DIRTY EVERYTIME I GET HER. SHE SMELLS SO BAD, I HAVE TO UNDRESS HER TO GET HER IN THE TRAILBLAZER. I CALLED D.S.S. ON HER AND WAS TOLD THAT SINCE I WAS A MAN, THEY WOULD NOT TAKE A REPORT AND WOULD NOT LOOK INTO IT AND THAT WAS IT. FOR ME NOT TO CALL BACK EVER AGAIN.
NOW YOU LET SOMEONE CALL ON ME...
IT SHOULD NOT MATTER WHAT OR WHO IS TAKEN CARE OF THE CHILDREN.BUT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE KID(S). I ALREADY HAVE CUSTODY OF OUR OTHER CHILD. SINCE HE WAS 2 WEEKS OLD.
MY EX HAS ALSO TOLD ME ABOUT HER DAD HAS DONE THINGS TO HER AND SHE NOW LIVES WITH HIM WITH MY DAUGHTER.
IF THIS MAN MESSED WITH HIS OWN DAUGHTER, WHAT WOULD STOP HIM FROM DOING SOMETHING TO MINE?
PLEASE!!! EVERYONE PRAY WHAT IS BEST FOR MY DAUGHTER... AND THAT IS TO KEEP HER SAFE FROM HARM! THANKS, JAMES FROM HICKORY,NC
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you tOget custody?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:10:34 AM | | It cost me everything I had...the deal was I get the kids and she gets everything else including house cars motorcycles...everything. Oh...and temporary alimony to her and she never has to pay child support. Welcome to the Florida Court System | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you tOget custody?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:18:47 AM | UPDATE::::I WENT TO COURT ON THE 3RD. THE WOMAN JUDGE I HAD,WITHDRAWED FROM THE CASE. I WILL NOW HAVE A OLDER MAN JUDGE.WHO FROM WHAT I HAVE HEARD,HE HAS KIDS. THIS IS A GOOD THING.
THE OTHER JUDGE I HAD DID NOT HAVE ANY KIDS,BUT SHE ALSO HATES MEN.
I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER MONTH ( AUG.4TH AND 5TH) PLEASE KEEP MY DAUGHTER IN YOUR PRAYERS THAT THINGS WILL TURN OUT FOR HER TO BE SAFE. | |
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| Custodial dads how much money did it cost you tOget custody?
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:36:13 PM | Reading this thread with interest....i live in the UK and I know our court system is different to the USA's. Dont really want to go into my own personal details, but some of the posts have stated that your kids are worth it. I assume that money is least important to you all and your kids are top priority. Which in my eyes is the right way any parent should be. However, concerning my ex we split up 2 years ago and I havnt seen 1 penny from him Im bringing up our 2 kids as best as I can. I just dont understand the mentality of someone whom I thought I knew I was married 10 odd years to the guy. He has issues he needs to deal with, but still denies us any maintenance. Also the maintenance doesnt go through our court system it goes through the CSA. Theyre hopeless and have now given the debt (as he hasnt paid for his 2 kids) to a debt agency....im at my wits end. Anyways I just wanted to say to all you dads out there, good on you for making sure your kids have a roof over there head, have food in their tummies and love in their heart. Its men like my ex who dont deserve to be parents. Its men who look after their kids financially deserve the respect. Cas being a lone parent is bloody hard, emotionally and financially....moan over lol | |
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