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Posted: 11/21/2006 11:57:14 AM | Based on my experience it's because very few black women are attracted to white men.
Maybe things are changing... | |
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Posted: 11/21/2006 4:59:47 PM | Hey DestinNewbee...
Just wanted to let you know that this Black woman is attracted to, and has dated white guys since high school. Haven't had too much success here, not sure what that's about, but won't stop me from trying.
Too bad you're in Florida, cuz you sound like a great guy! | |
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Posted: 11/21/2006 5:41:13 PM | Killuminautica; you're the bigger man here. BigRed is attacking because of his own issues (which I think are ignorant; welcome to the forums Michael Richards) - by attacking and putting you down, he gets to feel better about himself.
My advice; don't give him the satisfaction - by allowing him to control the conversation and you defending yourself; he gets to feel better of himself and in some twisted way, your reaction helps him to validate his point to himself (of which I don't think for one minute is valid).
There's nothing you need to defend yourself over; let him rant. | |
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Posted: 11/21/2006 6:03:39 PM | OT....
I think true tolerance means you respect all opinions even if you don't agree with them ...and you should never hate anyone or threaten a person because you disagree with their opinion...often it's the so called "tolerant" people who are scarey.
Also I think alot of white people have been conditioned by the media and our culture in general to hate their own race which is pathetic and never a good thing.....all races should be proud....yes including whites...shocking!! | |
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Posted: 11/21/2006 9:21:13 PM | boy, this is one wierd group of people. the woman asked why she isn't dating white men and was assaulted with indignities, we had a "cock" fight with two men arguing about whose penis was bigger, a canadian says no problem where he lives and then refers to "orientals" and cougar, with his usual hysterical sense of humor, reflects upon hannibal! oh by the way, maybe the women didn't taste good, because you forgot to brush your teeth?!*
i agree with the advice given about the revision of your profile. aside from race issues, there are cultural issues and differences in how language is used. as an east coaster in california i can say something there and it would be totally misintepreted here as to my "intention". my children are african american and peruvian, we live in an integrated area, they date their friends for the most part. your area, workplace, community base will decide who you meet. whatever color they may happen to be will result in who you meet and date. same if you dated a person "from" africa or haiti or jamaica. then you focus upon culture versus color.
namaste | |
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Posted: 11/21/2006 9:30:45 PM | | You make a good point; Halle Barry hasn't answered my calls, neither has Mariah!!!!! | |
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Posted: 11/21/2006 10:26:59 PM | | Right on man I agree. But speaking of race I am a white man married to an Asian woman, and I will go Asian all the time forget the black,white delema can't miss with the Asians | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 12:53:25 AM | I agree with everyone who said that you should change your profile stating what kind of man you would like to meet right now. Mine clearly states that I like black men and so they are the only ones i receive messages from (with the exception of a few white men just plain hating). Also, maybe you could give your reasons and what type of white male you would like to date? Not all are the same: some like horseback riding, some like golfing, some like snowboarding, some like staying home playing PS3, some like rock and roll, some like hip hop, some like country, etc.....do you like them all, or are you just curious?
I know I don't like all black men because of course, I woudln't have anything in common with ANYONE who goes horseback riding, golfing, snowboarding, listens to rock and alternative, or eats all canadian/american food and believe me there are a lot of black men out there who do all of this and Ive seen plenty on this site, nothing wrong with that but I have nothing in common with them. So for the most part I don't think because they are black is the main reason why I like them, I just find more black men like what I like. In a room full of 50 black men and 50 white men, Id probably have more in common with 2 of the white males and 40 fo the black males. I like jerk chicken, curry chicken, stew chicken, ackee and saltfish, curry goat, fried dumplings, rice and peas, king fish, snapper, doubles, patties,****soup (dont' laugh lol), mangoes (of course), etc....I like hip hop, r&b, and reggae music, I like baggy jeans and white sneakers, I like big lips and booties, I like sick rides, playing dominoes and cards and chillin, and most of all I love accents. And I would probably date a white guy (or any other colour) with all of these attributes, but all the ones I know who are like this, date black women LOL.
For the past 12 years (my first bf was black guyanese when I was 14), Ive only dated black men, but been around white men (brother's friends, etc..). Even as a child, my best friend was Jamaican, and I loved going to her house, her family was just so interesting to me and the food was GREAT. So I know what I like and don't like. But in the end, I just can't see myself with ANY white guy for the long run anyways, because number one I already have two mixed kids; number two I just love the fuzzy hair, caramel colour, big lips on mixed kids and I do want more; number three I can't see myself eating hamburgers and hotdogs and especially nasty rare steaks for the rest of my life (not that all white guys eat only this, but I have yet to find any that can cook anything I like); and number four almost every white guy I know reminds me of my brother when he was a teenager.
So after all of that, my advice is just to change your profile to say what kind of man you are looking for right now and why.....this will give the white men more confidence to approach you. Because honestly I think they are scared, not all, but most probably are. Speaking from experience. My brother, 6 years ago went to a club and had a black girl dancing up on him, tryin to get him to dance, practically throwing herself at him windin up the batty....he said he coudln't do it because he was scared, she looked like she would eat him up, she was so aggressive and vowed to never be with a black woman. Now that he's been around more black ladies, in my children's other families, he sees that all black women are not as aggressive as that one....now he sees a cute black girl walking down the road and he said, "Man I'd love to date one of those hot chocolate girls with the phat asses and have her eat me up" LOL they get older, they get wiser | |
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soniya
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Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 209 | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 1:44:59 AM | hi , how life treating u
im soniya , me n my husband r black ,fiji born now living in sydney we r coupls n we r very much intersted in u
so drop us a line about us
take care
soniya | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 3:36:36 AM | I know the OP posted this question 5 months ago and it is a rather redundant topic, but as an avid interracial dater I would just like to postulate that perhaps in her particular situation she is suffering from a compound effect:
1) She is trying interracial dating, which can be difficult enough depending on what community you live in, but in any civilized city is pretty common in this day and age
and, this is not to be a jerk but
2) she is somewhat overweight. I don't mean this as a direct personal attack, but I am merely offering a plausible explanation for why she may be encountering so much trouble. There are plenty of weight threads on here lamenting the difficulties of landing a decent date when you're "heavy-set", so perhaps the OP is suffering from a one-two combo.
Please note I have nothing against you and am not judging, but just on a scan of your profile pics it is clearly evident you are not a marathon runner...
Just presenting an alternative theory for thought, best of luck to all in life and love!   | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 4:06:17 AM | This is for Big Red's comment
Well I must say as a Canadian you truly as ignorarrant as we thought you were....Why is it that Americans are so stuck on race..... Why is it such an issue over there.. and further more ... black men smell and taste the best...best. I live and work in an area that 65% percent of the white males are smelly and dirty they don't keep ther house clean they kiss their dogs and have no class...I trully think they do not bathe.,,, ,,, as far as size you are at foolish as they come .... just like breast size everyone is different...has nothing to do with colour.....But if you were Educated and well rounded you would Know that.
P.s I live in an area where I only date white men and all my life only white me hit on me... I am a classy black woman... Maybe it is the area you live in because all of us black women over here are stunning...You do not sound very educated.. I feel sorry for you.... You make and confirm the stereo type we all have about racism in The United States.....I can tell from your spelling and grammar that I should not take you seriously because I know a lot of Canadian men who are wonderful and not ignorrant like you.... Take care Big Red!! I mean Bush! Oops! Did I say that Out Loud | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 4:34:06 AM | I've gotta say, you yanks are by far the most f*cked up set of people on God's green earth! Racial stereotypes, sheer racism, ignorance and plain stupidity! You are truly President Bush's people!!!
Firstly, everyone has preferences. Personally I like,what i deem, attractive women. The colour of their skin doesnt bother me, nor does the colour of their hair, eyes, nail varnish (nail polish to my overseas friends) etc. I have friends however who only date blondes. This is because this is what they personally find physically attractive. There is no difference to this from preferring to date a person of a particular colour. The main difference is, however, that although they only date blondes they dont put down brunettes. They simply say, "i prefer blondes - simple as that". They dont say "I prefer blondes because brunettes smell bad, taste bad and are bad" because that quite simply would be a stupid, ill-informed thing to say (plus they are English;)).
My point is this - it's ok to like what you like. We all do it. But dont come on open forums like this just to put down other things/people. Racism is still very much alive in the great US of A and to be honest the views on here horrify me.
To the original poster - If you lived in England i'd say, keep doing what you're doing. You'll find someone soon. But as you don't... | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 11:54:13 AM | to the man from england: you've got to be kidding me. i've been in england and all i heard was a bunch of bigots putting down people from india. the group was comprised of your middle class citizens. whatever "threatens" you. so , let up. every group has their bigots and i'd hate to see how you treat people you deem "unattractive". as to people talking about others tasting bad, i agree how disgusting that notion is and assure you it doesnt' reflect all americans. just like i am sure there are people in england who don't bash people from india.
humanity develops when you live a more cosmopolitan life and your "income" isn't threatened by another group or perhaps in a more creative community. read the racial posts from canadians who live in all white areas. some people make racist remarks and dont' even know what they are doing. it's easy to be liberal, as long as you assume people will be just like you if they move in. for example, the man who said "oriental" didn't even know it was offensive NOWADAYS! that term was unidentified about 15 years ago in USA cosmopolitan and informed areas. but i am sure many don't know here either. doens't mean i bash canadians. i do however respond with annoyance as to your post. | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 2:23:07 PM | Serenitycw - i really didnt mean to offend you but if you read the posts in this thread i'm sure you'll see what i'm talking about. Forgive me, but we've NEVER had instances such as the one involving Rodney King in this country! I agree, there is an element of racism in England - there is in most western countries - however, the level that i have experienced on this site is disgusting.
How do i treat people i find unattractive?? I find attractiveness in most people. I dont actually understand what you are getting at with that point. Are you saying that i should turn a blind eye to the racism ive experienced on this site? Oh ok, that makes sense!
You make me laugh! There is, in the world that i live, a major difference between unwittingly using the word "Oriental" and saying that non whites "smell bad, taste bad etc"!!!
You are right, however, one persons opinion doesnt reflect a whole nation - however, i would suggest you read some of the post on here. What astounds me is the lack of reaction that these posts get. My point is that in the US it seems these things are more the norm than they are in the UK. Had these bigoted things been said on UK sites there would be a clamour to close the site!
Its funny how you react so strongly to my post! I wish people would have such a strong reaction to what has been posted earlier in the thread!!! | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 2:41:26 PM | | Everyone has their own personal preference of who they love to date and you can't force them to like you. All you need to do bronzetreat is just chill and relax. Just have patience and a white guy would come sweep you off your feet. For me personally i date any race and besides i dont even focus on race or color of one's skin its more to the person's personality and how we get along that matters to me than anything else. | |
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Sirpep
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Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 216 | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 3:35:55 PM | | It has zero to do with colour. I haven;t dated a black woman yet, but her colour would not make a difference.... I would date any lady long as she's sexy hot,,, a good person,,, and has her act together,. Colour means nothing. | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 4:17:17 PM | | Eventhough this topic has been posted for several months, I would like to give my input. I've been on this website for a little more than a week and have gotten many responses mostly being from white men that are attracted to black women. I have dated guys in the past that haven't dated black a woman before and they were black. The reason that they told me that they have never dated black women was because they always heard that "black women" didn't know how to take care of their man as other races. I felt that that was an ignorant way of thinking because you can't single someone out because of the color of their skin. I guess that they didn't feel that way when they met me--or made the exception. Race has never been an issue for me. I have never seen race as an issue, eventhough I have not dated outside my race. I guess it just depends on what you are looking for in a person. You should never stereotype someone because of the color of their skin. | |
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Posted: 11/22/2006 11:11:23 PM | | i really get a kick as to how many white men say they are not attracted to black women as if their too proud or something. i usually laugh at them hysterically and they say what are you laughing at. i respond by saying that your totally full of shit, thats what i'm laughing at. black women like white women are hott as hell! boy oh boy, the denial of the white man cracks me the hell up. i'm willing to bet these same white guys are loaded w/ porn of black chicks just lusting over them. just my $0.02 | |
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Posted: 11/23/2006 7:28:14 AM | Thanks MsSportsFan! I like to think I'm a good catch. LOL
Quite a debate going on here! I think it basically boils down to what each individual has experienced and the perceptions that are derived from that experience. I'm attracted to women of all races and colors, based on the merits of the person. Different cultures are fascinating to me and I've been exposed to many. There are bigots in all of them who despise anyone not of the same beliefs and there are also open-minded people in all of them willing to learn from each other. You can't change the mind of a bigot, so I just avoid them. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2006 4:10:21 PM | | Try reading Paul Robeson. I suggest "Ain't no Black in the Union Jack". It might open your eyes. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2006 6:18:31 PM | i don't know where some of these white guys get "black women don't like white men". for real, where do they get that from. i get many looks from black women and believe me-i'm lookin right back. i think many like white guys and thank god they do | |
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Posted: 11/26/2006 2:17:12 AM | stevie t,
the jerry springer type of trash shows that have been here in the usa for some 10-15 years, i think, are viewed by most people of any substance here as "trash". it's unclear to me as to how such shows prosper in terms of people watching them. i've heard teenagers say they view them as "humorous" and "not real". i've read articles explaining that they reflect a real part of the lower "class" population. at first i found them so degrading, i was enraged. but my understanding is that the audiences go beyond the usa. i personally don't watch them and most people pretty much avoid them or roll their eyes. so, i guess you don't get a reaction to such shows or such types of posts, because most decent people wouldn't even respond.
i have read some horrific threads on this site which i view as "racist". there was one when i first joined entitled "mandingo" which almost gave me a heart attack. i just couldn't believe i was reading it. however, the sponsors of this site have not deleted such threads any faster then the television networks have deleted jerry springer. they apparently attract a lot of attention. i am not sure as to why, except that many of the people who are posting seem to live in areas of canada and the usa that are primarily white and in this instance there seems to be less familiarity/exposure as well from an african american perspective.
as for me, i am the mother of two very beautiful african american/peruvian young women and one young man. i was raised inter-racially and inter-ethnically in nyc, as well as inter-religiously. in my teens i was attacked by a white irish gang in my brooklyn neighborhood for being jewish. kids will always find something to pick on in another person. nonetheless, my first husband was irish and my second straight from scotland, so i didnt' generalize my experience and say all brits hate jews. i did however, experience first hand while travelling in britain, a whole lot of racism against people from india and pakistan who were "taking over your country" according to the inhabitants. by the same token, there were many people as well who did not agree. just like here.
i protect my children by raising them in cosmopolitan racially mixed areas. because despite the good intentions of all you white people living in all white geographic areas, they would have not responded well to an all white situation in their younger years. my girls now could pretty much fare anywhere as long as there in no overt prejudice. my son still has a lot of identity issues which he is dealing with now and i pray he will seize the many opportunities that have been put before his nose.
i've said elsewhere and i'll say again, the white, brown and black dolls that i purchased for X-mas went to children from white families as well as to my children and that has been a practice way before i was a mom. furthermore, i suggest you incorporate some similar gift giving in your own practices. children feel they belong when they bring something to the table that is not drowned out by the others. they don't want to be absorbed into your culture and your practices, they want their culture and practices to become an equal part of the whole. this is not something that is easy to explain in just a few paragraphs.
there is a very big difference between individual prejudice and the deep seated and sublte roots of racism. racism is "instittutionalized". for example if your queen is always white and can never be african american, that will rule out my girls. and it doesnt' matter that it rules out a lot of white girls as well, because that's not the point. my children need role models and to aspire to a position that does not exclude their skin color or ethnicity. they can look at condeleeza rice and say, boy i wish she were a democrat. but by her being in the 'position", they see "possibility" and they don't feel "different". whether it's their teachers or their govt. officials or their tv shows, they need to see and feel that they are represented. for example, as a brunette, if every place i went all i saw were blondes, i would sense that and wonder why that was.
i have participated in many institutionalized racism classes, leadership institutes and discussions. i spent a lot of my professional life uncovering ignorance and injustice with regards to the treatment of ethnic groups in the health care delivery system. i had to teach physicians about cultural differences. much of what went on was not due to prejudice but to insitutionalized racism.
the oriental issue you think is minor, is quite major amongst asian people in metropolitan CA. the "term" reflects colonialism and history and avoidance of culture as explained to me by leaders of the cultural groups in this area. yet, 10 years ago, when i came here from nyc, many of the vendors would have the word "oriental" flashing in their signs back east. because, that discussion had not happened there yet. my guess is that ethnic neighborhoods still existed there and hadn't yet aired their feelings about how they 'fit" into the overall community, whereas here where i lived in the silicon valley (just moved away recently), the neighborhoods were quite integrated. i personally like ethnic neighborhoods, but what i don't like is lack of equity in the educational resources within various neighborhoods. but that is a whole other discussion.
so for me to hear about my children not smelling properly by someone i wouldn't even give my time of day to in the usa, totally revolts me. and then to hear someone tell me this is how all americans behave gets me very, very angry-- given 1)what i have observed in my meanderings through other countries, and 2)knowing that the racial and ethnic mix projections here in the usa for the future are very, very BROWN, reflecting the slow merging of the different cultures over time and generations.
these types of generalizations are the roots of racism and denial that racism exists everywhere you go. if it's not one group it's the other that is discriminated against. it is what wars are made of, and i'm afraid part of the "human condition". but by the same token, whenever i ask people who come here from africa, south america, iran, palestine, pakistan, why they come here, they all claim "opportunity". so go figure.
therefore back to our OP. her question is honest and it is bold and may not be politically correct in your eyes. here in the usa, we tend to be more open and blunt. especially us born and raised new yorkers, because how else will you learn and expand? what is offensive is the turn this thread took very soon afterwards with the lack of feeling and respect for her as a human being. but then again, this type of ignorance exists and who knows why this man has developed in this way or what his sad story is. i cannot save him, nor does he wish to be saved. but he sure got a lot of attention, didn't he? | |
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Posted: 11/26/2006 4:52:30 AM | In my generation it was just a no no!!
My room mate which is also my cousin her
boyfriend is black, and the family disowned her..
All except me..
Ronny is a great guy and i love him too death.
But no I could not do it..
Patty and Ronny have been together for over 20 years..
They tried living together once but prefer too have
seperate homes..
And yes they have had all the insults thrown at them..
Which is really sad..
But the KKK is still alive in texas..
And yes I know cause I have a good friend who is
a grand wizard, but some things we do not talk about..
I just know if I need him I have his number and he will
help me if needed.. | |
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Posted: 11/26/2006 5:21:27 AM | Prejudice is different in Canada and in the US.
I have lived in both places.
Canadians are just as prejudiced but tend to be less expressive of it (unless they are drunk or hidden via the internet-see any chat room when someone who does not speak good english comes in)
Apart from the major cities.. Canada is still purely white. An interracial couple in a small town would be looked upon very poorly (from personal experience)
I have dated women who are white, black, brown, asian, etc. It is not the race, it is the compatibility.
But, I have found that most people tend to have some really deep seeded prejudices about minorities. It is like we live in the same world but do not know our brothers ans sisters. | |
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