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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???      Home login  
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 imrule62
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 26
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Hey I like taking sex slow, of course it usually speeds up towards the end!!!
 dollface07
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 27
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:21:31 PM
it's a warning sign that he's about to dump you
 windsong
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 28
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:29:31 PM
When a man says "he wants to take things slow" MEANS(I'll just make her think that SEX isn't my Priority) But really it is....How stupid do you think we are Guys?
 cartographer
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 29
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:32:05 PM

it's a warning sign that he's about to dump you


Of all the crazy ideas. It is no warning sign by my book. Taking it slow means you don't want things to be rushed. Taking it slow means you want to explore all the different angles of the relationship, and let it build. If you don't build a solid foundation, the whole relationship could fall down with a puff of wind. I don't like the idea of building a relationship like a house of cards. Do you rush build a home? Do you rush make a movie with nothing but props and no characters for casts and no practicing of lines? Anything which you want to last a long time, needs time to build. You try and make a one night stand into a marriage, you've got problems.

If I don't get to know the person well enough, I may never find out if there is some deep secret that I should know. I'm glad that with each relationship I've had that didn't work out I learned why it didn't work out.
Had I rushed it, I might not have had a clue, and would be making the same mistake over and over again.

Taking it slow means you are not taking huge risks without weighing them against the benefits. All good systems need time to build. That includes marriages.

A warning sign...wow, are you impatient?
 cartographer
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 30
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:42:38 PM
windsong,
No one is saying someone is stupid. There are men out there like myself, who take time to judge character. Once we have, then we are ready to move into new things. The more time we take, the less chance one is hastily judged, and given prejudiced labels, and the greater a chance you'll see the person for who they are inside. Sex is not a priority unless I know I won't regret it later for having it. The main thing that would make me regret it is someone decides to leave me permanently after it. The other would be discovering she had many sex partners before and has no idea if any of them had sexually transmitted diseases and was dishonest with me about it and I discovered I caught something which could only be transmitted sexually.

If she decided to have sex with another man while I was with her, I'd also think her too insecure to persist with the relationship as one that might lead to a sexual relationship.
So yes, I'd take it slow in terms of getting it to sex. Reasonable doubt does not come overnight. But it doesn't have to take more than a year. I'd probably grow impatient by then.
 redhairedbeauty1
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 31
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:48:00 PM
the phrase "take it slow" can mean a few things. If your not looking to take things slow then dont waste your time with men who use that line on you.
do they say this to you after sex?
 lucky7innc
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 32
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:48:37 PM
he's just not that into you
 ManitobaGrrl
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 33
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:39:41 PM
I hate that......like of course people shouldnt move in together or get married right away, too soon, but you cant stop yourself from falling in love and thus wanting commiutment
 wildgirl_5
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 34
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 9:06:46 PM
lol.....trying to get to know u but having others on the side for rebound
 bigw13
Joined: 1/1/2005
Msg: 35
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 10:05:41 PM
Getting to know the other person in good times and bad over time is the way I want to go. Sex may or may not be part of it. Before I risk getting hurt by caring too deeply about someone who may not be who I think they are I want to learn about who they really are not the front people put up in the beginning. Ok a bit of a run on sentence.
 puppyluv123
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 36
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:26:43 PM
Making it known that you want to take it slow means no real committment until he/she thinks it is right.

Its also an easier out if thats what you decide you want to do because you never lead the other person into thinking that it was going to be a long term committed relationship.

In other words, its a way to say, yeah I'd like to "do" you but want to take the emotional part of the relationship slow.
 Dru
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 37
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:39:42 AM
We are simple creatures. Sex is sex. Plain and simple, we love it, we want to do it with as many women as possible. Even the guys that say they don't think this way actually do. Its part of our animal instinct that we haven't gotten rid of through evolution yet. Who knows if we ever will get rid of it, because it is a desired trait in men for men, according to darwinian law, that means it will continue to be dominant in men.

But we do have feelings, and that is what we are protecting when we say we want to take things slow. We don't want to fall head over heels for you yet. We may not want to be tied down to one girl yet, we may be married.... who knows.

Take a womens emotional connection to sex away, and you basically have a man, but a little more hairy
 blue-eyed-devil
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 38
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:46:06 AM
sex with no strings for now !!!!!! thats what taking it slow means
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 39
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 6:10:35 AM
That he's happy with satisfying himself and he doesn't want you to come between he and his hand!
 johnnygage
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 40
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:05:42 AM
It means i wanna see how you are in the sack first before i make up my mind
 CordlessTaco
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 41
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:32:04 AM
Ducksquat and optimistchappylady have the correct answer. It means different things to different people. What it means to ME is that I want to make sure it all works out before I decide to spend the rest of my life with you. And No, I DON'T think it's a good Idea to have sex right away either because that can lead to problems too. Not just accidental pregnancy or disease, but what happened to my nephew where a woman was looking for a father because she just got pregnant by another man, dated my nephew for a week and told him it was his baby and guilted him into marrying her. Later he found out what a psycho she was and had a DNA test and found out the truth. --My own experience is that I had dated this woman for a a year and things were going great until she meet some "Thrill seeker" types and her personality completely changed. So I'm thinking 2 years is a good "Taking it slow" time limit to make sure you really know that person well enough before you make a very important decision.
 athletic_funny3
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 42
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:36:42 AM
While you are dis-robing... take it slow....
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 43
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:38:32 AM
By take things slow I would mean I want to continue to get to know one another, but am not ready/undecided about a full-blown relationship and need more time to decide.

I'm perfectly content just making out: I wouldn't try to initiate sex unless she shares my relaxed views towards sexuality and actually wants to engage in sexual relations despite the lack of an immediate commitment.

Personally it's only after I've had sex that I can truly decide whether I'd want to commit to a full-blown relationship anyway, as sexual compatibilty is an important factor to any relationship I enter. But just because I haven't commited verbally doesn't mean I wouldn't be sexually monogamous... I simply am not ready to deal with the lables "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" and all the social connotation crap that tends to get attached to it...
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 44
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:38:41 AM
Whoops double post, darn browser...
 blueeye
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 45
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/20/2006 2:38:10 PM
And if there is no sex?what does it mean then?
 bonbon56
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 46
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/12/2006 8:04:49 PM
Sorry I was just reading your posting and found it very interesting... I did something really stupid and the man I absolutely adore and I think feels the same way about me is asking me to slow down... give him time . I believe that we will be able to get on with our lives and get past this.... but what we both need is time to heal time to sort out our thoughts and time to realize our dreams. Slow isn't a bad thing it can be a healing process.
 txpmp57
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 47
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/12/2006 8:32:26 PM
I believe it can and has been used in every context mentioned here. Categories:

In a sexual relationship:
Green if it means: "I want this to work on more than a sexual level"
Yellow: "I'm kind of freaking here"
Red: "Best thing I can come up with to start the break up"

Non-sexual:
Green: "I want this to work"
Yellow: "I think saying this will help me get you to bed"
Red: "I don't think this will work and wanted to say it before you did"

Communicate....the hardest and best thing people can do.
 Mr Fair Play
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 48
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/12/2006 8:52:23 PM
Taking it slow can mean the guy doesn’t want to be pushed in a commitment. Many women out there can be too damn clingy and expect you to commit to them from only knowing them for a week or only meeting them a couple of times.

A perfect example for this behavior was from my ex girl friend. After the second time I met her she wanted commitment, I was more soft back than and went a long with it. Two months down the track I freaked out and realized what I got myself in to. I was forced to meet her parents the first 3 weeks I knew her.

Taking it slow for me means I don’t want to meet your damn parents yet, I don’t want to commit to someone I hardly know yet. Can’t women get that message? Women seem to assume sex with everything when a man does not approach the way a woman wants it.
 heyitsdoug
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 49
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:35:58 PM
There are some pretty cynical posts here.....

I can only speak for myself,, but when I say I prefer
to take things slowly, I mean that I don't want to jump
right into BF / GF relationship. It has nothing to do with
the sexual part. I want to know what I'm getting myself
into before I make some kind of committment. If she wants
to wait until I do to have sex.....so be it. To be honest, it
scares the crap out of me if a woman goes right from first date
to "I love you and want you all to myself".

 moaning momma
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 50
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:42:57 PM
Im so glad i read this thread ,i thought it meant he didnt want sex just yet
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