| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/4/2006 8:01:13 AM | I think this an interesting topic and I am not sure what I have say really fits in here as it ties into another thread about why is is so difficult to have a relationship when you are middle aged but I am going to add my 2 cents anyway. My experience, many women say what they want in their profile. Some have these long lists that just aren't realistic. What happens when you meet 5 of the 6 things they say they want in a man. Even if you do have things in common some reply back stating you are not the fish they are looking for. I ask why even bother to reply, does anyone need to be told they are not the kind of fish the person is looking for? Is not a no reply sufficient for someone to know they are not interested? In such cases I figure they are basing their decision on your photos. Yes attraction is a factor but lets face it most of us simply don't look like we did when we were in our 20'w or 30's. And then what is attraction? Most people I think would agree its a chemical reaction. For example many men who see a photo of a woman with cleavage will say she is sexy. Being sexy, goes well beyond wearing revealing clothing, having a nice figure, firm breasts or great legs. Sure these things count but being sexy for me includes things like her voice, how she walks, toses her hair, her eyes do they speak to you, her lips are are they inviting. Beyond these things there is the personality to consider. Personality can either can either add or detract from a womans sexual attractiveness. Of course these things apply to men as well. Am I getting off the topic here ? What are women looking for in man after 40 -I'm not sure they even know. Case in point. Recently talked with a woman for over 2 hours. We both felt there was a connection. A meeting was set up which the woman cancelled stating issues with her job etc etc. A couple of emails were exchanged, more than a week went by & I sent an email asking if she was really interested. She wrote back saying she didn't like the tone and that I wasn't being patient etc etc and then blew me of. Ok maybe I kind of put my foot in my mouth but the point of this is if we all have jobs, family and things going in our lives that may affect our ability to meet and get know someone. If this is the case both men and women need to be very clear about their situation and true intentions. If we are truely wanting to find a partner we need to make time to do so. If ones job or family issues are impacting on ones ability to get to know someone then this person is not ready to seriously find a new partner. We all need to be more clear with people about our lives and how another person might fit in. Like I said I am not sure all this is 100% specific to this thread but it does relate. Anyhow if anyone, man or woman has an answer to this question I sure would like to know it lol
Cheers all | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:01:39 AM | I always like to get to know a guy a fair but first ..perhaphs mails chatting maybe callung text. then meet. I dont just sent a mail set a meet up then go. If you get to know someone a bit..you will have a better idea .. if you really want to meet..
What to expect from over 40
Well good manners.. caring ..honest.unattatched..well settled.. able to hold convo.. and listen, not many people can do both..have something in common.hopefully can make me smile and laugh..
As for added extras.. this may sound really harsh.. But I dont think its fair on us ladies.. if you guys. are dedicated to your jobs and your families or friends.. and leave little time for us..
When you have come to a balance with all the above.. then go Fishing...
Is it fair that you meet someone you like and you have a lot of isshues to sort out.. maybe family probs.. or your moving..or you work 16 hrs a day....or x is beeing a cont problem.. sort it out first..
Then move on.. with clean slate.........I know have been there.. and just got fed up after 18 months.. total waste of my life... classy | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:28:10 AM | | simple,a man over forty(not all I grant you)has more respect for women,they have had there time messing about and using women,they know how important it is to romance a women.Over 40's are the best lovers and all my lovers have been older than me,My biggest age gap was when I was 24 and he was 49,we lasted 3 years. | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/11/2006 6:41:13 AM | I agree with you ... in kind. My profile states very specific things about my physical demeanour only because it seems to become an issue later on (not for me but for the responding man) The 'physical' is always a considering factor, no matter how philosphical we our intentions. For myself, I need a mental connection before anything else works and that applies with any age group.
I have spoken to a few men that seem to have this 'at our age ...' philosophy, as if they have settled back and intend to let life pass them by. For some this may be 'fine and dandy' but not for me. My life starts everyday when I get up. It is a forgone conclusion that there will be some level of life committments and yes, if you don't have time to give to a new relationship then you shouldn't expect a new person to sit on the 'back boiler' waiting for the crumbs. | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/11/2006 8:48:40 AM | I'm a Dr. Phil fan and have read all of his books and other books of self help tips. I have a list (literally) and if I can get 80% of my list (not including the deal-breakers i.e., physical abuse) I would be very willing to commit 100%. I know what I want and will not waste anyones time with feeling obligated to email someone just because they email me. I wouldn't hurt anyones feelings for anything, I think all people are special and have their own strengths to bring to a relationship. I am just looking for MY man. Not A man.
1. A man that loves me.
2. A man that needs me.
3. A man that is emotionally/finacially grouned.
4. A man puts me first.
5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. the list goes on - in return MY man will be my 100% focus, his wish will be my command, the wind beneath his wings, cheerleader, and all that I can be. #284 is:wants a lady by day and a whore by night. (No kidding).
I'm spending way to much time on the threads! But it has been better than any date I have had recently. Thank you all for the entertainment. Love the POF | |
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bobby7
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Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 233 | |
| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/11/2006 10:56:05 PM | "Well said Shirley.
I want a man who will place his heart in my hands knowing that sometimes I will bruse it.
I want a man who knows the work it takes to have a good relationship and is willing to do it.
I want a man who offers emotional and financial stability (not wealth )
I want a man who is intelectually bright
I want a man who has a good sence of humour and is fun to be with.
I want am man who has taken care of himself emotionally and physically
I want a man who is mature (a grown up)
I want a man with similar values
I want a man who is compatable
I want a man who is not afraid to learn to dance like no one is looking
I want a man who is happy with himself
I want a man who wants to be with a woman who offers him all of the above.
PS I want a man who can spell because I can't"
LMAO..I have some of these qualities, but I can never offer financial security..I can, offer, however, to let the "special" someone handle the finances..
All in all, that was a fun post!..Thanks..Bob... | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/12/2006 6:03:27 AM | Someone just sent me this joke and I thought it fit in with what women look for in a man after 40. In this case well after 40.
**********************8
A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married
again. She
put an ad in the local newspaper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened
the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no
arms or legs.
"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said.
"Just look at you... You have no legs!"
The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!" "You
don't have any arms either!" she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!" She raised
an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??" The old man
leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door bell, didn't I?"
The wedding is scheduled for Saturday!!! | |
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noles
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Joined: 9/29/2005
Msg: 240 | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/14/2006 10:40:19 AM | ha ha ha ha .. as we are naming things we would like..mm let me see.
A castle wont go a miss. may be a fair bit of ground.. perhaphs a horse or ten lol.. wont say no to someone with a little plan.. so we could pop over somewere nice for lunch when bored with the uk.. a butler. and a few maids. not for getting a bunch of gardners.. and a yard full of grooms..... what a nice dream lol.......
ok guys no running for the hills just a dream.................( she said with wicked grin..) | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/19/2006 12:39:45 AM | I beg to differ with you. Most of the women I know, that are over 45 years old, know EXACTLY what they are looking for.....or very close to it. After going through marriage, raising kids, having a career, boyfriends, dating, etc., only brings us closer to knowing more of what we want out of life. You must have had some real hum-dingers, to have come to the conclusion, that women over 40, don't know what they want.
I feel so much more confident and focused, than any other time in my life. It feels wonderful. I'm already a whole person, so I don't need a man to 'complete' me in any way. It would be nice to enjoy life with a companion, who shares the same interests, and outlook on life, as I do.
Sincerely,
Linda | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/19/2006 1:50:58 AM | in the beginning of being single again, i had a very romantic outlook that love would conquer all... that led me into my first relationship. sadly, it didn't. so first of all i would need to know if i was getting seriously involved, that the man i was dating would be able to "live" with another person. was there space? was their time? could he share? were his control issues "out of control"? was he over his past issues? did he carry baggage or burdens--the former unacceptable, the latter okay as long as he tended to them.
then i would make sure we could be friends as well as lovers, because apparently chemistry in and of itself is insufficient, although essential with the rest of the package. then, i would like to share companionship and interests such as dancing, jazz, pets, community participation, etc.
if we had enough in common to share our lives, i would also like some freedom to tend to my personal interests and friends and for him to be able to do the same. i would also like to think when it came to friends and family that we would include each other sufficiently, but not exclude each other from decision making regarding where to vacation, spend holidays, etc. if we were at odds on that topic, then i would alternate our preferences, putting our need to be a couple before shattering into separate vacations, etc. if we both owned property and/or had children still home, we would have to have an implementation plan and not assume the other would give up all, but by the same token, not give up on the relationship expecting immediate self gratification.
i would also like my mate to take his own inventory before he started taking mine. i would tend to the latter myself and allow for mutual human error in life!
my mate would need some passion for life, living and me. perhaps a twinkle in his eye, a tenderness in his voice, strength and conviction. | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 244 | |
| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/19/2006 6:01:03 AM | Tootsie, you are right on the money. The older I get, the more certain I am of what I want and what I am looking for. What I am not looking for and frankly getting tired of, is a man over 40 telling me what I am looking for, because really how does he know? He just assumes and you know what happens when you assume.
Serenity, I love what you say here. "I would also like my mate to take his own inventory before he started taking mine. i would tend to the latter myself and allow for mutual human error in life!"
I have met some nice men over 40 and some over 50, but I have met far more men in their 40's who:
1. Are still hung up on their ex or their past
2. Don't know what they are looking for and are confused
3. Want to date and date and date, me and others or said differently want their cake and eat it too.
Really for women over 40 who are secure and independent IMHO the dating world is in a sad state. There are plenty of men out there for women who are desparate and will accept anything just to have a man in their life. However, for women like myself, who are not looking for perfection, or someone to take care of them, but who is looking for a partner who I can build a relationship with that is mutually satisfying. Someone who understands that he is in my life, not because I need him there but because I want him there. I am not looking for someone who is rich or movie star handsome, I am looking for someone who can roll on the floor with me in laughter and stay in the room with me when we disagree and who can spend time with me where words are never spoken because no words are needed. For me that doesn't seem to be a lot to ask, but it is very hard to find. | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/20/2006 4:59:28 AM | What do women look for in a man after 40? Well, I can only ansewer for myself here. I would think by that stage of life, the "man" would know a few simple things such as:
We have been here a while and have a "History"
We have family that will always be there no matter who we meet.
We have become honest with ourselves(hopefully) and expect the same in others.
When we do agree to meet someone it is based on information that has been given to us, so if the sparks are not there, then it is because there was no honesty and we have been led to believe what is not true.
Other than that, I just want an honest, working, thinking man that has a heart. | |
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| What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 11/21/2006 12:47:04 PM | According to the statistics on marriage/relationships:
1) The average woman receives 2 proposals in her lifetime and accepts 1 of them
2) A mate is found within a 2 mile radius of the place of residence of the woman
So, the internet is not the obvious place to look for a relationship. Go out on the street, and get to know your neighbours, and those on a few adjacent streets. The one you seek is there. He will probably be in the same socio-economic class, share cultural values, have all kinds of common experiences, have a similar political and moral outlook, and matching life expectations.
One of my female friends in the 50+ age group asked me if I knew anyone to introduce her to:
"What are you looking for in a man?" I asked.
"Hair and teeth." She replied.
"I know someone." I said.
"Are they his own hair and teeth?" She replied.....
Just to say that it is important to focus your requirements on what is really important..... | |
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