| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/17/2006 8:17:08 PM | Hehe...ok..here's my spin on this one..
"Nothing" with a small sigh usually said as "Oh nooothinggg" in a forlorn voice..means I have no real clue what's wrong...or I'm not ready to talk, or I don't really want to talk about it just yet. This nothing is not about you at all..and you may never know what was wrong.
"Nothing" with a glare..means you just ticked me right off and if you thought I was mad before you asked me "what's wrong"...I'm ten times madder now...cause you should damn well know why I am mad mister! This nothing is about you and you WILL hear about it sooner or later..and you WILL wish you never asked in the first place.
"Nothing" with a devilish smile..means "be afraid..be verrry afraid"...cause if I'm saying nothing...with that smirk on my face..it means you screwed something up BIG time and I have decided to torture you till you damn well figure it out...ooor...I'm thinking in my mind "Clueless b*stard is asking me what's wrong when he damn well knows what's wrong but I am sick and tired of telling him...so I ain't wasting my breath." This nothing is also about you..and you better get your crap together ASAP...cause if she is telling you "nothing" with that smirk...she is fed up and you are in danger if you don't figure out what the "nothing" really is. However, on a brighter note...occassionally this "nothing" ...is just in fun...to get you going a little..to make you wonder...etc.
"Nothing" with a puzzled look on her face...or a raised eyebrow and looking at you like you just smoked something, and usually said as "Nothing..why?"..means....nothing really is wrong and she is now wondering why the heck you are asking and really does think you did smoke something. This nothing is nothing to be concerned about...unless you are foolish enough to keep asking..in which case she is going to get annoyed and then her nothing will soon turn into something.
"Nothing" with the same look as the last "nothing" mentioned, on a day she may happen to look like hell or exceptionally tired and you have just informed her that you asked her what's wrong because she looks tired/like hell etc... RUN...run as fast as you can!!! This nothing was not about you at first...but it is about to be...and she is going to come at you and open a can of whoop ass!
Thats my take on nothing...there are more nothings but each nothing has the right to change from time to time...is not applicable to all people and with that said ...really means nothing at all now that I told you about nothing...as my nothing and another's nothin aren't always the same AND new nothings are created every day...so really...nothing means something to some and nothing to others.
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Nan60
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Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 52 | |
| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/17/2006 10:52:49 PM | I am so glad you noticed, and I can see she didn't appreicate that you noticed. I also see more men seem to have replied toyou than women so they feel for you more than the women, so maybe we women are giving you guys a hard time about this NOTHING word quite often?
Secrets are a woman's 'treasures' i.e. secret thoughts, feelings, ideals and you guys are right there in the back of our minds with them... always ...we do tend to 'hope' 'expect' you to read minds cause we feel close to you BUT we forget ya just don't have that in you (nobody does but h--k feelings are feelings and don't have to be justified).
NOTHING as you so shouted whether it is spoken softly, loudly, quietly, often or once means "I can't talk about it to you - either at all or just right at this time you are asking me) The it is the secret (either momentary or complex and long abiding) YOUR JOB is patience and if you have a good memory bring it up at some other time when she's not like when she said the NOTHING word and she will remember what she didn't want to talk about and maybe be ready to tell all. I don't mean the secret word here to be a biggy, just and a word to describe any generic situation that she is not ready to talk about. Any help? | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:24:10 PM | "NOTHING"
1. Means I need time to think about what I am really upset about. .:rolleyes
2. Am not sure if it's baggage and I need to unravel previous related experiences before confronting you with what I think I might be angry about ?
3. I need time and space to just 'be'. To be without any expectations whatsoever....it's called 'alone time'. 
4. You know what your partner is upset about. IF you know her/him well, it doesnt take much to weave through the web.
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:27:01 PM | MSG #40.. The word whatever..
Yes another paradox...
When I say whatever this is what it means..
Whatever you think of the situation, let's agree to disagree and leave it at that..
When a woman says it.. I have no idea what they mean by it.. Maybe the same..
They used this as well, maybe it has a different meaning to them.. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 8:01:44 AM | | I have to put my two cents in here. I don't know if this is an issue with women, or some people in general. I have a great deal of trouble expressing anger, especially with someone I'm close to (lots of reasons, maybe I'm afraid they won't love me if I'm angry, because I'm afraid of fighting, blah blah blah). SO if I'm angry with someone, lots of times I can't hide my feelings, but I can't express them either. I tell the person I'm angry with that I'm just tired, or that 'nothing' is wrong. I realize that it is not a good way to deal with anger and that it is frustrating for the other person involved, because my behaviour is perceived as sulking, but it is also VERY hard for me to express anger. I try to work on this, but it is very hard. I guess there are alot of other people (maybe alot of women) out there who have the same problem. So give us a chance!!!!! | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 8:23:28 AM | | Well i also have that problem,and when i say nothing it just means dont push it,coz i dont want to talk about it.If i really feel like i need talk i will let you know. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 8:52:55 AM | | ahh, the old "nothing" scenario. "Nothing" is genetic, its passed down from generation to generation, just as the "I will fix you" gene has been passed on to every man, but somehow we got the short end of the stick. The "nothing" wields much more power than the handy man complex. We try to help out and get ourselves deeper into trouble. Hard to believe that one word can have so much effect on another person. I've had my share of the "nothing" and it drives me nuts, it leaves me wondering wtf i did wrong and ya know what, she knows it drives me nuts but still lets me suffer. Women really do hold much more power than they'd like to think. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 12:27:08 PM | I can just see it now...
All those women who answer "Nothing" and actually mean "Nothing" will have these poor clueless guys insisting that there's something wrong and demanding answers.. when there are none.
Thanks ladies! | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 2:11:32 PM | Usually, it's the guys that say there is nothing when there is actually something going on...
But I'd say, that nothing means I don't want to talk about it... | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 2:19:54 PM | "Nothing" means: "if you don't know, then I'm not telling you". It's a declaration that she refuses to communicate further..
This is something I have done for a long time,but I am trying to change that pattern but the statement above is exactly what I meant when I would say "nothing" | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 2:24:37 PM | It's called...............suffer baby suffer. It's called....I'm looking for a sensitive man who will communicate his feelings and listen to me while wrastling bulls. It's called..........actions speak louder than words. It's called a catch twenty two, cluster f**k.
It's called exactly what it is. Nothing = B.S. I have yet to be proven wrong. I have even tried keeping contact with partners while disscussing sensitive issues. IE holding hands.
The nature of beauty flawed.
People must communicate better. Both paties must be willing to talk. I do like a qualifing statement such as. I am upset. I do not wish to discuss it right now. Lets talk about it in an hour. Not tomorrow or the next day. SOON. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 2:52:11 PM | Anytime I have ever had what the word "NOTHING" meant defined for me it was something crappy. But anytime I let it go in one ear and out the other it usually worked itself out and I guess the "NOTHING" was saved for another day.
The word itself means nothing to me how I take it is how it is said and the actions followed thereafter. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 8:33:13 PM |
"nothing" is a buzz word for "im really pissed off at you, now go away and think about what you did" -huh?????
Hey.. if I say nothing and you don't believe i mean it.. by all means.. go away and think about what you think you might've done. I won't stop you. I might laugh at you, but that's all.
Don't you guys ever stop to consider doing this when faced with a "nothing" that's really a "something"... when all hell breaks loose.. (and it will).. respond... looking very upset and concerned, 'But you said it was nothing.. I believed you.. why oh why did you lie to me??'. If you can puch out a few tears.. so much the better. Wailing or sobbing works, too. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:15:34 PM | | More than anything it may be a problem she doesn't want you to 'fix'. Sometimes people (like me) just want to be listened too as we vent and not have the problem 'fixed'. I know that the intentions behind the question is good, but I may refrain from talking about it while I'm upset because I know that they will want to fix it anyway. I have been guilty of doing this, but more often than not I will come out with the problem. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:31:21 PM | | It can sometimes mean that it's hard for them to come out and just tell you it's not that we want you to read our minds but sometimes we don't want to bother you by it because it might be small problem to you but to us it is more than just small, and some women (not sure about all) feel that a guy doesn't want to hear whats wrong with them because some of us women feel like were just sweating the small shit. | |
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| The word NOTHING...means SOMETHING
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:38:27 PM | "...maybe she is stressing about something that really has nothing to do with you and she really doesn't want to talk about it. Why don't you just leave it alone, but let her know that you are there if she wants to talk about it. If you get off the subject and she is still...I'll use the word intolerable, then go do something with your buddies tonight."
Some key words in a post from a woman, those.
Stressing = worrying about things that really have no resolution. she intuitively knows that if she tells you, you WILL think there is a solution and TRY to FIX IT. She doesn't want to be fixed and your "solution" won't do it anyway.
If you've asked if there is some way you can help and let her know you're open to talk - or better yet - LISTEN - you've done your part. Leave it (and her) alone. Never - I repeat
NEVER TRY TO PET A CAT THAT'S HISSING, HAS IT'S BACK UP AND ITS CLAWS OUT!
Finally, as YKS said, if she is being "intolerable" give her one more chance to lighten up or go out with the boys or something. Say something like this:
"Hey, baby you know I love you and I want to have some fun tonight. So, if you want to do that with me then great. In about two minutes, though, I'm going to go and have some fun on my own. Are you in, or would you rather be alone?"
And then, if she's still being "intolerable" or that sets her off in any way - go DO IT.
One of the worst mistakes a man can make is to hang around like one of her girlfriends trying to understand the feminine mind. You don't want to become her girlfriend and she doesn't really want you to, either. Above all - if you say you're going to do something - even if she doesn't like it - you have to do it or SHE WON'T TRUST WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ANYTHING.
btw - if she does decide to lighten up and have some fun, you can bet the 'NOTHING' will be right there waiting when you're done. In that case, repeat this process from the beginning.
If you do anything else, you're letting her moods rule your life and the relationship, and your job in that relationship will be a constant impossible hell of trying to figure out what you did to piss her off. Just roll with your life and show her that your happiness is your responsibility and not hers. She is something that YOU CHOOSE to add to your happiness, not put in charge of it.
Good luck. | |
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| Let their 'SOMETHING' be nothing...
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:45:05 PM | "ahh, the old "nothing" scenario. "Nothing" is genetic, its passed down from generation to generation, just as the "I will fix you" gene has been passed on to every man, but somehow we got the short end of the stick. The "nothing" wields much more power than the handy man complex. We try to help out and get ourselves deeper into trouble. Hard to believe that one word can have so much effect on another person. I've had my share of the "nothing" and it drives me nuts, it leaves me wondering wtf i did wrong and ya know what, she knows it drives me nuts but still lets me suffer. Women really do hold much more power than they'd like to think."
See OP - DJ here as said what you implied - it drives you nuts. But that's what she's doing, really. She's testing to see if you'll fold up like a girly-man and let your life go to shit (and she actually DOESN'T want you to fold) or if you're really up to being a man.
BTW, DJ, most women actually know to their very bones just how much power they hold - and they're trying to make sure they've chosen a man to be with instead of an emotional little girl dressed like a man. Seriously - it isn't much more complicated than that. | |
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| Let their 'SOMETHING' be nothing...
Posted: 6/18/2006 10:36:38 PM | Far_King_Romeo
Msg: 55
Posted: 6/18/2006 201 AM
MSG #40.. The word whatever..
Yes another paradox...
When I say whatever this is what it means..
Whatever you think of the situation, let's agree to disagree and leave it at that..
When a woman says it.. I have no idea what they mean by it.. Maybe the same..
They used this as well, maybe it has a different meaning to them..
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
hmmmmmm..... good answer  | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/19/2006 12:59:33 PM | ok heres my last "nothing scenerio":
evenings almost over, want to grab a snack?
anything sounds good to me...
how about pizza?
FINE!
ok now it dosent sound like you want pizza, what do you want to get? chinese, burgers, taco bell, peanut butter and jelly anything?
PIZZA IS OK!
ok whats wrong?
NOTHING
thats not what your really telling me, your arms are crossed and your foot is kicking nervously.
nothing, -nothing is wrong.
(three weeks later)
im really pissed at you, cause saturday three weeks ago, you took me for pizza, and i didnt want to get my new pink shirt stained....
(GRRRRRRR) -help meeeeeeeeeee | |
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| An Argument for Evolution of Self
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:22:32 PM | Okay, let's face it. "Nothing", when it's *something* is a lie. Excuses, justifications, and 'reasons' aside, it's dishonest. And really, there are so many alternatives:
"I'm really angry, and I can't talk about it right now, becuase I can't be reasonable when I feel like this."
"I'm p*ssed. I don't want to talk about it."
"Bad experience. Can't talk about it right now. Must. Get. To. Gym."
"I'm need to mull this over before I talk about it."
"I'm upset. Once I've calmed down, if I need to share it with you, I will."
*IF* your partner is in touch with his/her compassionate self at the moment, he/she will likely tell you if it's not about you.
Personally, when I get angry with someone, I try not to react, and to sit with it for a few days, exhausing the possibility that it's me/my unrealistic expectations/my triggers/my issues/*my* problem. *IF* I come to the conclusion (and this is rare) that it's really not me *AND* I still feel the need to discuss it, I'll go to that person and address the issue as kindly, lovingly, rationally, objectively, and open-mindedly as possible. It is, after all, a relationship in my life which I value, or I wouldn't be bothered. I don't want to be charging around like an angry bear.
Having lived for far too many wasted breaths at the other end of the spectrum and everywhere in between, I can honestly say that this method works best for me. I enjoy now, smoother and more fulfilling (if fewer) relationships than I ever have in my entire life. My relationship with myself, in particular, has benefitted the most. It was one thing to *tell* myself that I was doing the best I could. It's another thing entirely, to know if to be true.
Peace and happy evolving,
~Thunder | |
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| The word NOTHING...means SOMETHING
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:30:11 PM |
NEVER TRY TO PET A CAT THAT'S HISSING, HAS IT'S BACK UP AND ITS CLAWS OUT!
Not a cat owner?  Thats actually only true if the chat has its back up, tail puffed out, claws out... and is hissing at *YOU*. When they're doing that at some *other* mammal in the yard, its actually not as deadly a prospect as it sounds  | |
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| An Argument for Evolution of Self
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:33:31 PM | Nothing......that you'ld give a sh***t about.
Nothing.......that I want to get into right now.
Nothing ......that you can help me with, but thanks for asking.
Nothing....... that you could ever understand.
Nothing........that I want you to know about!
Nothing........why are you asking? What are you up to?
Nothing.........Oh you noticed! You do pay attention to me!
And it dosen't matter if its a mans mouth a Woman's mouth or a teenage of either sex! | |
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| An Argument for Evolution of Self
Posted: 6/19/2006 10:03:55 PM | Men....listen to Cambieguy, in fact if he offers a course, take it.
BTW, you do need to communicate to make a relationship work but that doesn't mean I need to communicate my every emotion to you. Trust me, you don't want me to      
Roxy | |
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