| Women are almost never angry for the reason they think...
Posted: 6/20/2006 12:44:13 AM | ok heres my last "nothing scenerio":
...FINE!...
...(GRRRRRRR) -help meeeeeeeeeee"
Ok 85032 Luck - you asked - I'll bite.
Here's what you say next time:
"I'm hungry. I feel like pizza - do you want to come?"
Her - "Great"
Go do it. Have fun. If, in the couse of her partaking in the pizza she AGREED to eat she happens to ruin her new pink blouse and starts pouting, say this:
"Well, now that it's ruined, you won't mind if I should happen to tear the buttons off it when we get home."
Her - "You wouldn't dare."
"Try me."
She probably smiles and blushes or just gets pissy. If the former, great. If the latter, there's POF. (unless of course you really have a great connection with her and her pissy moods are something you can fully embrace without merely "tolerating" her).
Later on - actually do it. Preferably in the entrance hall before you even make it to the living room. Show her you say what you mean. Bet she loves it and you will, too.
Next day or so, show up at her work with a new blouse.
So, what was the problem with how you did it? You created the whole problem by asking wrong. Don't ask her what she wants - listen for it and offer it to her when she's not expecting it. If you know she normally likes pizza, tell her what you're going to do and give her the chance to join you - she can always say "no". She wants to be lead and wants to trust you to lead her. If you're always coming up with ideas she doesn't like, it shows you're not listening to her (feeling her), or you're just not a good match. Next.
On the other hand, as soon as you doubt yourself and her...
"ok now it dosent (sic) sound like you want pizza, what do you want to get? chinese, burgers, taco bell, peanut butter and jelly anything?"
...she's not going to feel safe with you and she'll make up crap - even 3 weeks later - about worrying about her blouse when really she was doubting you and didn't even know it.
Take her where YOU want to go and if she doesn't want to go there with you (at least most of the time), what are you doing with her? If you really have a strong connection (both ways) and can embrace her pissy moods rather than just "tolerate" them, then keep working at it. Nobody wants to be merely tolerated. Push through her pissyness to find the true woman underneath - again - if YOU think she's worth it. And most of all, stop blaming her for your poor handling of the situation. | |
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| Women are almost never angry for the reason they think...
Posted: 6/20/2006 12:51:27 AM | For me, nothing means exactly that, nothing. I am not a fan of conflict. It stresses me out. However, if something is bothering me or has hurt me, I do speak up and tell the other person. People, both men and women are not mind readers. If something is the matter, tell the other person in a calm and gentle manner. For the love of God, wear the big boy/girl pulls ups and just tell them...
~Carrie B. | |
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| Women are almost never angry for the reason they think...
Posted: 6/20/2006 1:55:05 AM | | hey sigmund, your acting like is gave a damn. stop analyzing everything. if a woman gets cranky, best thing you can do is step away and let them cool down, if they arent going to communicate at the moment, trying to analyze the situation or patronize only makes them boil over. i grew up with four sisters and plenty of scratches to have learned that lesson. they will eventually calm down. i dont handle situatuations poorly, i just tend to pick my battles, and most situations will resolve themself. we had our pizza, after a few minutes, she was fine. she brought up the shirt thing later, cause i didnt notice it was new, and women never forget anything. | |
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| Women are almost never angry for the reason they think...
Posted: 6/20/2006 3:07:26 AM | I used to be the in the boat of ‘ If you don’t talk about it how can I help you fix it ‘ Then I grew up!!!
I then became wise, and realized that when she said nothing, it meant ‘ Right at this moment it’s anything and everything’. I knew that all I had to do was wait, and sooner or later, ‘ Nothing ‘ would eventually appear.
It’s a proven scientific fact that women can access information using both sides of their brain at the same time. We men, unfortunately, can only access one side at a time. So while we are banging are heads against the wall trying to figure out what ‘ Nothing ‘ is, she is having a battle raging inside her head between the two sides of her brain. Sooner or later one side comes out a winner, and that is when you find out what ‘ Nothing ‘ was, is, or nothing at all..
Guys!! Keeping ones mouth shut during this process, is a 99.9% good thing to do. It’s not being pu$$y whipped! It’s called survival!!! 
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| Women are almost never angry for the reason they think...
Posted: 6/20/2006 3:38:43 AM | I can't believe that us (guys) should bury our heads in the sand while you get your aristocratic shite together.. Communication is the key.. If there is a problem TALK..
Too many women say it is respectful to just leave us alone.. Bollocks!!! You have shown
NO respect in shutting up in the first place.. If there is a problem resolve it.. Keeping it
bottled up inside until later turns an anthill into a mountain and it is too late to resolve it..
The resolving power of a woman = I'll just hold a grudge instead... it's easier
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/20/2006 5:00:35 AM | | Nothing : I want to tell you...I wish I had the courage...But afraid you won't understand or will laugh it off as if not important. A word used to protect yourself from possible humiliation. Not a good word to use....yet used so often. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/20/2006 5:07:34 AM | | Honestly I think that you are dating the wrong type of women. If something is bothering me I just say so. The nothing thing only breaks down communication and once that happens the relationship is in trouble. Try to start dating women who aren't so damm moody. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:03:12 AM | | It drives me crazy when pple, men or women, pout around and then someone finally asks what's wrong and they say nothing! If it's nothing then quit pouting, cancel the pity party or go home and do it alone. Instead of nothing just say, yes there is something bothering me but I'd rather not talk about it right now, thanks for asking and when and if I need to talk I'll let ya know. ~NR~ | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:40:31 AM | 3 ex girl friends in a row......?....maybe it's the way u ask......u prolly dont seem like u really care when u ask them whats wrong......
No you have it wrong dude.. I do ask and that is the point.. I ask nicely too..
To further the convo..
What's wrong?.. reply.. Nothing..
Did I say or do something to upset you?... reply No you have done nothing wrong
I can sense that something is bothering you and I would like to discuss it..
reply... There is nothing wrong ok!!!
At this point I give up asking.. I have tried to resolve it, but she won't communicate..
3 months down the track you might get to know what it is and sometimes you never know..
My point is that they have all done it at some stage.. Not all the time.. All 3 had terrible
communications, and lead to the demise of the relationships.. I just wanted to know why
do these women use this to cop out of communicating.. That is all.. I have spoken to many
other guys about it and they say that there wives and girlfriends are the same.. So it is not
just me.. It happens to us all.. | |
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| Women are almost never angry for the reason they think...
Posted: 6/20/2006 10:55:08 AM | "Sigmund" - I like that. You're a funny guy, "85032uck". Seems you've got your knickers in a bunch over this though.
Tell me - did you get "lucky" that night or did she remain "fine" like in you say she was?
If it was a new top, all the more reason to take it off her at some point - bet it would have made her feel like it was a good investment.
BTW - your original post ended with "help meeeeeee" didn't it? Yet here you say " i dont handle situatuations (sic) poorly. Real men take responsibility - little boys change their story to duck it.
Good luck with Miss "fine". Sounds like you're going to need it. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:26:02 PM | | I don't know what kind of women you are dating, because most of us will come right out and tell you what's wrong. Some women feel you should know. Women do sometimes forget that Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus. | |
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