| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/12/2006 12:12:28 PM | How is this thread still alive? It's really nobody's fault but your own if you are dumb enough to get taken. Women do it to men too.
Posting on a web site like that is totally gutless. The last desperate chance to have the last word.
And how about the MANY cases where he treated you like crap because you treated HIM like crap? Do we ever see those?
Is there a golddiggers.com for men to post too?
Ivana Trump
Leona Helmsley
Charo | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/12/2006 12:21:58 PM | | bazooza...no offense an i am sorry if you been treated badly...what does it solve?? absolutely nothing...just makes you look bad in the end with resentment an anger towards him...whats to stop you from doing this to another? | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/12/2006 4:05:41 PM | | Part of me wants to say yes but the more intelligent side of me says no. Get over the pain by yourself because no one really deeply cares. I am still in pain after 8 months because I run into him. I sure hope it stops soon. | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/12/2006 7:47:59 PM | | You're a beautiful woman, and I'm sorry if some jerk has hurt you. Maybe you haven't been the one hurt, I don't know. But I wouldn't post anything or condemn this person to the point of no redemption, because that would be a way of keeping this person in your life. | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:13:38 AM | supressing personality, insult, hurting feelings, disregard and disrespect towards a woman. The law doesn't protect from those things, but shouldn't anything? I mean what's good about letting other victims fall into the same trap? For many women it's a waste of time at least! Five years with one jerk, another five years with another - oops, all of a sudden you are too old to have kids! Wouldn't a woman want to know a little faster what kind of a person this guy is whithout rediscovering a bicycle all over again?
OK so what he did wasn't good, what you want to do is too late. If you needed to stand up to him the time was inside your relationship. Now you’re just pissing and moaning cause you weren’t big enough to handle your business face to face. How would you feel if he posted all the intimate things you did on some web site for the world to see?
You're blaming him because you stuck around and took his shit but whose fault is that you could have left the relationship any time you wanted. It’s not a crime to be an a$$hole just like it’s not a crime to be a doormat to one, it’s a matter of free will and choice. You are responsible for what happened to you not for what he may or may not say to other women. He didn't beat you and you can thank God for that, all he did was insult you and you lived through it.
Post if you want but I would expect a call from his lawyer.
Beside how many times have you tried to warn a friend about impending doom and they actually listened? I mean even Charles Manson has his followers and I’m sure some idiot would marry him if one hasn’t already, it’s just life move on. | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 7:30:53 AM |
Now you’re just pissing and moaning cause you weren’t big enough to handle your business face to face.
In my case I was big enough; however, I was denied that opportunity through the act of stonewalling and you can't force a person to hear you.
I guess I wish I'd known upfront about the alcoholism, online dating addiction, but that's not something he's going to tell upfront. The result was wasted time for me and I'm now very, very tentative about online dating. Part of me doesn't even want a man in the same way I used to, because I was hurt so very badly. The effects of these guys can be devastating.
What's worse, is that he's now targeting very, very young women, probably because they are inexeprienced and more likely to fall for his ploy.
What he is doing is so fundamentally wrong. Still, I would not post his name publicly.
I agree, lying should be punishable. | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:38:25 AM | | I personally sure would like to know if a guy was a real jerk! I wish I had know 15 years ago how messed up my x was we have a child together. I wouldn't have married him 7 years ago, or even brought my first child into the mix. April of this year I was made aware of how much of a jerk this man was. there is no moral court or legal court that can protect us from this man. He has all the rights in the world . We the survivers of his abusive behavour, and are left to pick up the pieces, and move on. I must make it clear I am the one who ended the relationship , because of physical child abuse , that has been going on in our home. This man was charged, and put under house arrest, and has a no contact order against him, and still he is able to call , drive by , and even send messages through other people. The more I try to protect our children the worse I look , as if I am a woman out to get this guy.My feeling is I allowed this to go on because I didn't read the signs. By not being aware of these acts, and seeing other things with this man was doing , and his erratic behavours. There is no heart break over the end of the relationship , but there is a struggle to over come the guilt of not doing anything sooner. This man abused me physically, emotionally , and financialy for years.I allowed this to go on for the good of the kids or so I thought , but really he had me stuck. This person told perspective employers I moved , and didn't live here any more when they called to offer me a job. He went into our community, and stated to people i didn't want to work, I was just lazy, he kept me with out a car so I couldn't go any where. He wouldn't allow the kids to be in activity's unless I ahd the money to pay for them , because he said we couldn't afford it. This man works for a big company and makes over 65000 a year. He had his investment sent to his parents address, so I wouldn't find out about them. Putting his fathers name down at benificary. I allowed all this to happen, and if I only knew what i ws getting myself , and our children into ahead of time . I would ahve never allowed this stuff to happen. My point is there are charmers out there so be ware ! If they seem to be good to be true, and they are to into his own needs run like hell lady's !!! My point being I wish someone ahd this info for me before I commited to this life. I think going to prison would have been alot nicer lol!!! The sadest part about all of this is our children had to go through this too!!!!! | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:50:22 AM | I wish I had know 15 years ago how messed up my x was we have a child together. I wouldn't have married him 7 years ago
Well, objectively, let me ask you why you deny even the possibility that your behaviour toward him MADE him the jerk you think he is?
This is like the women who bait and goad and harass and badger they guy nonstop until he loses his temper and slaps her and then go running to the police because he slapped her big mouth to shut it. There is aggressive behavior and there is response to agression.
Did you go out and spend more than he made and run him into the poorhouse?
Did you cheat on him?
Did you constantly berate him?
Did you badmouth him to everyone he knows to make him seem like a bad guy?
I don't know your situation, but I have seen WAY too many cases where the "jerk" behavior was reactionary, and led to the desire to post a "warning".
A case here in my home state showed ON FILM a woman standing in a business lobby repeatedly slapping the guy she was fighting with. Poking at his eyes with her finger. She spit at him, once hitting him in the face. He finally had enough and grabbed her and pinned her against the wall.
He was charged with domestic violence.
Did HE do it or did she provoke it?
We need to hear both sides before feeling sorry for the "poor woman" who wants to post a warning.....
There IS the possiblity that the world should know what a jerk YOU are. Whether that is true or not I have no idea, but when we only hear your story it's tough to decide if it is 100% accurate or you are just bitter about what happened. We don't know from your post.
Isn't what I described even possible that such venting and mudslinging against either party should be allowed? | |
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kebs
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Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 235 | |
| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:45:08 AM | I only started reading this thread because this just happened to me. I was seeing a guy who was named on a "jerks" site and he thought it was me who did it, as the person who wrote it said she was seeing him (I'm thinking she wanted to and he didn't) Now, I went on to the stupid site and asked that he be removed. I explained that I had been seeing him for awhile and I could attest to the fact that he indeed was not a jerk. One woman replied that she agreed he was a jerk because she had talked to him but never met him. Did that really make him a jerk??? Nope, just not interested in her. I met him. I had a great time with him. This stupid blog got about 6 responses on this one man. All of which were very quick to agree with the original noting him a jerk. But when I tried to defend him, what do you think happened....I got slammed! Slammed for defending a man that I met and liked. So you see, just because one person has had a bad experience with someone does not make them a jerk. As I reminded the person who had the web site....one person's junk is another person's treasure. Just because someone is not a good fit for you does not mean they are not for another. And yes, this does not include those who are killers or transferrers of disease...those as someone already mentioned need to be dealt with by the proper authorities and you are not that authority.
I have to wonder....why if you are so happily married are you so worried about naming these guys jerks? What do you stand to gain?
The web site I had dealings with has been shut down and there certainly was talk about slander and liable toward this person involved. He got slammed and his name bashed for not doing anything wrong other than not being interested in someone.
And even if what was said were true, if I really liked this guy, I wouldn't listen to them anyway, I am my own person....one who is equal in strength to a man I might add...and I am going to make my decision based on what I see, what I learn and how I feel, not over a scorned ex's blog on him. If I can't trust my own instincts, then I might as well give up dating all together!! | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:54:57 AM | | firts of all I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me! Second off I did no such thing , infact I tried everything in my power to help both of us by getting marriage counselling! As for spending money, the only money I spent was the money that i made doing contract work before it was decided, that i was getting to independent . Third of all I am not a person who reacts in a violent way towards anyone it is not in my nature. 4thly some people have problems that do not surface until it is too late , my X has some really anger problems! There are people in this world that think control and ownership of thier families is the ownly way to deal with thier own insecurities. There are alot of people in this world who have gone through some of the same as we have. I am not the type to confront or badger a male or female . I am into conflict resolution, rather than using nasty language or physical violence. I am not bitter at all I feel badly for this person , that they had to have such control over us that they hurt us, and I let it happen. As for mudslining facts are facts! I am just stating them , and wish I had the insight I have now. In life we never really know until it happends to us so judgements of people should be given lightly , when you are not living that life!!! | |
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JustRo
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Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 237 | |
| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:56:42 AM | I only see one thing wrong with posting that. Some women will just want revenge... even if what she says is not true... so before you post something about someone.. make sure you do have your ( | ) covered or could be trouble for you.
Ro | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:01:30 AM |
I am into conflict resolution, rather than using nasty language or physical violence.
Okay, so if there was physical violence, did he go to jail for it as he should have?
And as far as "nasty language", posting a "warning" IS nasty language. There is more than one kind of nasty language. Vulgarity is only one kind.
You simply DO NOT KNOW what this man would be like with a different partner. Not even he knows that. But is it right to sabotage any chance he has a happiness in the future because you are bitter about the way things went?
And why you chose to apply general and hypothetical possibilities to yourself was your choice. Nobody said YOU did anything. I asked WHAT IF.
Read posts as a general reader, not a target.
If your ex has anger problems, he needs professional help, not some slam job on a bulletin board somewhere. | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:11:14 AM | | women/men who want revenge have not moved on and are not in the right place in thier live where they are healing ! I on the other hand do not seek revenge on anyone! Would i ever post who this person is no! That is just not classy. I have stated facts that have been proven, in court. I stated why I would have wanted to know this person was a jerk before I got involved with them . If I knew what they were all about before hand I could have saved us all alot of problems. | |
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HHH4u
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Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 240 | |
| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:11:19 AM | | Well I am sorry for all of that were hurt...........I have been hurt too..........but you have to learn to deal with it and go on...............as we say here in Texas .....COWBOY UP and move on...........yeah there are some people out there who dont care about no one but themselves...........but that is part of the learning process of dating some one........it hurts like hell but not everyone will be that way.............and what good does it do to bring your self to their level by wanting to blast them on the internet.........what goes around comes around ......................just ask my ex..............she got all of my retirement.........but the boyfriend she left me for a pickup ................then he found some one online took the truck (which she was silly enough to title in his name) and left her...................things will work out just hang in there. | |
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HHH4u
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Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 241 | |
| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:16:38 AM | | Eastside Eddie..........there is no excuse for that to happen if the woman makes you that upset then why stay with her...................there is absolutely no reason to hit her........and to abuse children.................as a parent you are responsible for the way children react to you............you have to be the adult...........not them..............NO MAN SHOULD EVER HIT A WOMAN REGARDLESS if she hits you turn the other cheek and leave..........I am glad you are the minority and not the majority of men | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:19:21 AM | | yes my x was sentenced, but because he had a good job and hadn't been introuble with the law in 11 years got a light sentences , and probation so he could pay child support! In the sentencing process he also got anger management, and counselling inforced, and a no contact order. I hope this works for him because, the kids do need to build a different type of relationship with him. sharing ones expereiences helps not only yourself get passed the difficulties , but help others not feel so alone. This type of life style can isolate a person , and allow them to fell they are the only one. But this is getting off topic. As for slaming my x I am doing not such thing . Now if I posted where he works, his name and addy , and pin pointing who he was then it could be taken as a slam . | |
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| Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:24:27 AM |
If you had a chance to post on some website what a jerk your ex boyfriend is and how he hurt you so that the world would know who he really is, would you do it?
NO. | |
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| There are allways sharks that swim with the dolphins!
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:31:18 AM | | A warning to all young female users!!There are some very devious men on this site that use it for the purpous of conning women!and would just like to say to be very aware on there first date! that not all are genuine when it comes to looking for LOVE ! and BE aware that you are very vunarable!and they wont think twice about your feelings! | |
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| There are allways sharks that swim with the dolphins!
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:39:36 AM |
I on the other hand do not seek revenge on anyone!
Yey you said you want to post bad things about him to "warn" others about him. And maybe just a little bit because it would make you feel better to take one last swing at him?
And whoever made the commen insinuating that I condone domestic violence.
Is it okay for a woman to beat a man with a golf club? (Cleveland PLain Dealer about 4 months ago.) How about the one who stabbed the guy IN HIS SLEEP because there was no beer? One woman 2 years ago shot and killed her husband IN HIS WHEELCHAIR!!! ON FILM!! And pled not guilty.
The point is that people who want to post bad thinsg about their ex's MAY be the ones to blame for the relationship going sour.
Don't go off on a tanget of JUST domestic violence. Note that my example was a woman who was smacking her husband around in front of a security camera, all captured on tape. He tool about 6 of her punches and pokes before he grabber her arms and pinned her against the wall just to neutralize her and stop her from striking him.
You probably laud the fact that HE was arrested for domestic violence.
Most of you women seem to take every discussion in that direction. There is such a thing as MENTAL abuse too.
My point was that posting "warnings" is too often a way for a scorned woman to feel vindicated and that potentially ruins a man's future. See the entry a few back about the VERY UNTRUE "warning" left by a scorned woman.
All I ask for is a level playing field. If the best defense you have is a cheap shot after the fact, grow the heck up. | |
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| There are allways sharks that swim with the dolphins!
Posted: 9/13/2006 11:58:22 AM | | I have one question for you why is everything taken, in such a negative way by you! Not everyone who posts thier experiences on a website is vandictive ! No if I had put any personal info that is very pin pointing to who this x is then it would be vandictive! I did not do this I stated what happend to us , and in fact this person could be anyone you know ! no real personal info on this person has been stated. I am not going to go around and around with this ! I do not believe in violence, or even emotion abuse of any kind, wheather it be a woman or a man committing these offenes. I may have post this in the wrong area on here , and that is ok I just hope that some else can see they are not alone, if they are going through the same stuff!! I should be bitter at this point , because of the experiences , thank god for a good supportive network of friends and family we are doing ok! You can take these posts any way you choose to . People see things in many different ways. It is called ones own perception on things! I will next time in the future really think about wheather I want to put myself out there and post on here again! | |
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| There are allways sharks that swim with the dolphins!
Posted: 9/13/2006 12:02:17 PM | Everyone who wants to hang an anvil on the neck of their ex should rent a movie called The Ex, with Yancy Butler as the female lead.
It is about an obsessive ex wife who wants to "get even" withe her ex to the point where she goes out to an S&M bar and allows some biker to beat her up and then, with the bruises from that beating, files charges against her ex husband so he gets sent to jail. At which point she tried to kill his new wife.
Think it's just a movie?
Is that the norm? Of course not. But it does happen. And these are the people who would post on a "hate him" web site. Women who obsess over their ex's, women who think they were made a fool of and this is their last desperate chance to get even, women who want the guy back....
The classy, adult, mature thing to do is walk away with your head up.
IF there was any kind of violence, put him in jail, not on a web page. If your husband, boyfriend, brother, sister, aunt, cousin, niece, nephew... if ANYBODY strikes you, call the police and put them in jail.
But if you swung first, there is such a thing as self defense so think about it before you call.
Man, you all think that looking for a level playing field equates to condoning violence. | |
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| There are allways sharks that swim with the dolphins!
Posted: 9/13/2006 5:40:56 PM | Kebs--I have to laugh about the guy who thought you made the post. That happened with my ex-boyfriend when I started seeing him. At the time, he seemed attractive, educated and proactive in the community, so I didn't think right away that he had all the problems he does.
Anyway, I guess one of his many women (cyber included) made a crank call to his office and he thought it was me. He accused me of doing it and was very angry. *There's yet another red flag people can watch for...*.
Rosie, don't let EastSide Eddie get your goat--he's already advertised to all the women on this website what kind of guy he is, so his ex-girlfriend doesn't have to do it.
Personally, I think there should be quiet a "red flag" thread on this site. People can simply post their city, age of the not-nice-person they want to alert, and maybe hair colour or eye colour or something. People who are so enclined can search the profiles and if their new date fits the description, they can privately email the person who posted the warning for more info. That way, no one is slamming someone publicly and the person takes the advice at their own initiative and can take it with a grain of salt, or not decide whether or not the source has any credibility.
Don't know if this kind of thing would fit in within the policies of this website though...thoughts anyone? | |
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