| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 6:12:00 AM | Don't mean to start a war here, but!
There is nothing wrong with a Homemaker. I wonder when the womens movement took a turn to send the message that ALL women MUST work outside the home, and that a Homemaker is NOT WORK?
Geeshhhhh.
Lots of men would love to have an old fashion lady, with old fashion values. Puts the children first, family first.
Unfortunalty, most can not afford to do this, or put money ahead of raiseing children.
No wonder why, society today is having so many problems.
My kids are grown now and on thier own, but I only worked seasonal and was home all winter. I know my kids loved it.
Don't mean to get off topic but this pisses me off. Not all parents that stay home to raise thier kids are lazy. And I think to say it makes you look bad...Give me a break. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:29:12 AM | Huh..I honestly couldn't afford to be a "home-maker" and a single parent?! Yes I have a job that I chose so I have the ability of flexibility and being able to not sink my pay into daycare...but I could never "live" off someone.. I am self-sufficient..have made it this far..don't need a man to live off..
With that being said..if the relationship becomes v. serious, and we BOTH choose for me to stay home, and raise a family then that is different. But until that point comes..then I will support myself and my children. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:38:27 AM | Man I would love to have a true "homemaker" wife. In this I mean that she cooks, and takes care of the kids and takes care of me when I get over taxed or hurt myself trying to do more than the big man intended for humans to do. Now this isn't to say that she shouldn't also be flexible and be able to snag a small job in case the belt starts getting a little too tight. But in all reality, true homemaker wives are awesome. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:44:43 AM | It depends on the person and their reasons for staying home.
Some people may indeed be lazy, and looking for someone to support them while they stay at home.
Another person may be financially secure enough where she has the freedom to stay home and raise children, and has chosen to do so.
Yet another person may be sacrificing a career because an issue with a child's health may be keeping him or her at home.
Seeing a woman calling herself a "home-maker" doesn't scare me. I'd rather learn the reason why she's a stay-at-home mother before I judge her. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 12:56:48 PM | | I think this woman is just being honest about what she wants. Nothing wrong with that. If it were possible, I'd want to be a stay at home mom. Where did this idea come from that stay at home mothers don't work? Oh yeah, I forgot about the Laundry Fairy and the Magical Self Cleaning House. Raising children and keeping a home is WORk, and hard work at that. Yes, there are some women who do stay at home and do nothing, but if a woman is a true partner and wants to stay at home, there is nothing wrong with that. Child care is expensive, and it is stressful to have to work all day, and then come home and take care of household duties. It's also easier if there is someone home when the kids are sick, or have doctor's appointments. All moms are working moms, even stay at home moms. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:20:11 PM | Awww, I'm a Homemaker to my cats, but the thing is, I have to get my happy ass out the door to work, they refuse to panhandle on the streets  I don't think anyone wants to support my little ones in their fur coats
When people are homemakers and they are looking for someone to support them and their children, IMO that's plain wrong. These folks chose to bring a child into the world, for whatever reason, the relationship didn't work out. Why would someone expect someone else outside of the parent (Father or Mother) to support their children? OP - I tend to agree, it does give the good single parents a bad rap, therefore perceptions of single parents aren't too good.
Ain't no free lunch in this world and folks have gotta get use to it! | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:20:20 PM | Funny how this topic has veered into many single moms extolling the virtures of raising kids, working etc. I took the question to mean something entirely different.
If I saw a single woman who already had kids and stated she wants to be a stay-at-home mom I'd run away--very quickly. Taking on the financial responsibility for an existing home and family just doesn't seem to hold a lot of benefits for the one the income. If we're talking younger women who think they'd like the SAHM thing that's quite a difference; since I'm not dating women of an age who would be beginning a family that's not my concern.
As much as it's probably not true most men faced with suddenly becoming the sole provider wouldn't be very receptive. You're getting involved with an established family situation and integrating yourself into that would have to be difficult at best. Naturally, such a responsibilty would be accompanied with major input about the home life but I wonder if that's even possible? I'm thinking of a woman with one or more kids at least past toddler age who already have some formed behaviors that may not be agreeable with this provider---what then? Certainly he'd want to be able to discpline as well as nuture and teach but would mom allow that? How would the child/children accept it?
Maybe I'm clueless here but a single woman actively searching for someone who'll allow this SAHM might have a tough search on her hands! | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:37:49 PM | | ^^^ I agree, at least they are being honest about it all and if someone wants to get involved with this than all the best. Let's say the table was turned and it was a man who had his children and he wanted to be a stay at home Dad and raise his children and wants me to support him and his children....I don't frickking think so....If I get into a relationship....I don't need a man to support me or my children....I have a career and I make enough money to look after the three of us.....and besides their Dad chips in financially to help out.... | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 10:01:54 PM | | hey, if they are real homemakers then that's fine. To say a homemaker doesn't do anything just goes to show that you don't know a god damn thing. But if this "homemaker" watches soaps all day and doesn't do anything, then yeah, that's bull. If i married a woman that was a homemaker, I would expect her to clean, make dinner and look after the kids when I'm not home. If you don't think these things aren't actual work then you dont know what you're talking about. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 10:26:02 PM | I was a stay-at-home father while my ex and I were together, and it is a firm belief of mine that *someone* has to mind the home when children are involved.
One of the daggers that I pulled out of my back when the relationship was over was that *she* always had to take care of *me*... like I did nothing and was just a drain on the resources. When word got back to me of this, you should have seen how quickly her tune changed when I said that if that is how she felt then I would stop providing afterschool care for her daughter (from another marriage) -- a service I still provide, cause thats the kinda person I am -- and *she* could take care of *herself* and *her* responsbilities for a change.
You've never seen an attitude change so fast. You could literally see the little gears begin to move behind her eyes, and the realization wash over her face.
Be that as it may, I would never expect another woman to shoulder the responsibility that she did... at least not in regards to some other woman's children. And needless to say perhaps, I am quite happy to be back in the workforce now and in control of my household finances. There's alot less debt this way. And hell, I even wind up with a few dollars in my pocket at the end of the month.
I'd imagine that it is more socially acceptable for a woman to advance a desire to remain a homemaker. I do find it odd however, that a woman would hope to find a man that would not only be willing to work for her, but for children that are not his own. You have to respect the honesty though. What more can you ask of a person? | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 10:47:32 PM | [quotAs much as it's probably not true most men faced with suddenly becoming the sole provider wouldn't be very receptive. You're getting involved with an established family situation and integrating yourself into that would have to be difficult at best. Naturally, such a responsibilty would be accompanied with major input about the home life but I wonder if that's even possible? I'm thinking of a woman with one or more kids at least past toddler age who already have some formed behaviors that may not be agreeable with this provider---what then? Certainly he'd want to be able to discpline as well as nuture and teach but would mom allow that? How would the child/children accept it?
Most of the questions and concerns in the above quote are present in any blended family situation, regardless of the finanicial arrangements.
To the OP, I think that the women you speak of are being honest. They will attract those interested and discourage those with whom they are not a match. I have not searched women's profiles, so I can't comment on the way the situation is presented.
My situation is similar and related. Although I have income beyond child support, I carefully structured that income in order to sustain a lifestyle and educational choice that works for me and my children (I homeschool). That means I am home with them, and even with my income, I'm an at home mom. That value would need to be shared and respected by an potential partner. I am not looking for someone to financially sustain or provide for that. But I would not be a match for someone who expected me to seek income outside the home. If I had an active profile, I wouldn't come here and whine and post that every man should consider a middle aged, overweight, homeschooling mother of 3. :yay :tongue"
I'd expect my info to provide the necessary filter. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/3/2007 4:32:45 AM | It's amazing how many guy's would love a homemaker.....this despite all the effort to discredit stay at home mom's.
I think ideally a woman would possibly work part time .....whatever amount of work is necessary and makes her happy. Maybe one or two shift's a week , one girl's night out and/or one night for sports or a club or whatever social thing she likes...(male stripper night?...lol)
Working full time is only a rat race anyway...but taxes make us two income working slaves. | |
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Titian
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Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:09:40 AM | The message you are replying to:
Posted By: yum/yuck/yikes on 1/2/2007 8 49 AM
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK..I WAS MARRIED FOR 14 YEARS AND STAYED HOME RAISING THE CHILDREN....WE DIVORCED AND HE DIED FEW YEARS LATER...
I DONT REVEAL ALL OF WHAT I DO ON THIS DATING SITE..I AM OFTEN ASKED..RIGHT OFF THE BAT ...WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING..?...WELL TO A STRANGER....WHAT IS IT HIS BUSINESS WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING...?
I HAVE FOUND THAT GUYS ARE ON THIS SITE LOOKING FOR A SUGARMAMA AS WELL...
VALERIE | |
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Titian
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Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 46 | |
| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:13:12 AM | sensualbifem WRITES:
Joined: 12/6/2006
Msg: 26
view profile
What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/2/2007 900 AM
Don't mean to start a war here, but!
There is nothing wrong with a Homemaker. I wonder when the womens movement took a turn to send the message that ALL women MUST work outside the home, and that a Homemaker is NOT WORK?
Geeshhhhh.
Lots of men would love to have an old fashion lady, with old fashion values. Puts the children first, family first.
Unfortunalty, most can not afford to do this, or put money ahead of raiseing children.
No wonder why, society today is having so many problems.
My kids are grown now and on thier own, but I only worked seasonal and was home all winter. I know my kids loved it.
Don't mean to get off topic but this pisses me off. Not all parents that stay home to raise thier kids are lazy. And I think to say it makes you look bad...Give me a break.
TITIAN RESPONDS :
I AGREE WITH YOU TOTALLY...MY CHILDRENS FATHER DIED OF CANCER...AND I STAY AT HOME WITH THEM...( IM ALL THEY HAVE )AND ALSO WORK A SIDE JOB AND I DONT CARE WHAT MEN THINK OF ME...
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/3/2007 11:01:01 AM | | i think it's an honest view of who this person is and what you'll get and yes there is someone for everyone. i admire the fact that they are honest in the midst of adversity it may cause due someones idea of how they should be. it may not be what you want to hear or can respect due to your choice of lifestyle but i think they have every right to find what they seek. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/3/2007 1:58:21 PM | | I guess you have to look at the fact that women who are homemakers put themselves in a postion of vulnerabilty and dependence when they choose not to work outside of their homes. If their husband/mate decides to split-what options do they have? If an uneducated woman has stayed at home taking care of children then their job skills are most likely not going to be adequate enough for them to find a job that pays enough to support a family-which includes paying for childcare. TANF isn't enough to support a family, at least not in my state (Indiana)- it's $342 a month. There's 2-3 year waiting lists for Section 8 housing. This mother is probably desperate...and that's really sad, because when someone is desperate, they will not make the wisest choices. Now, on the other hand, there are women out there who are looking for a "sugar daddy", and they are willing to trade sex for living expenses. I guess it just depends on the context of why the woman is looking for someone to support her. There are men out there for whom this sort of scenario wouldn't be a problem, but they are few and far between, and the fact that right off the bat the relationship is not equitable is a recipe for trouble. I guess at least she's putting all her cards on the table in the beginning...if a man responds to her ad-he knows what he's getting into. | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/3/2007 4:37:52 PM | | I am all for a women to stay home and raise her children. When my boys were born, I stayed home and raised them....but my ex and I could afford for me to stay home and raise them. However, I know work but never in my wildest dreams would I think a man (whom I have no children with) would let me stay home and raise my children and not bring in any support to raise my boys. Would I want a man to support me and my boys.....Hell no....I work for a living and I happen to have a very good career to look after me and my two boys..... | |
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| What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to
Posted: 1/3/2007 4:48:55 PM | Some women still believe that their job is in the home. Cooking, cleaning, watching the children, AND making sure their man is happy. THAT IS A JOB! And I respect a woman who decides she wants to be an at home worker or a woman who decides she wants to work outside the home. Both are wonderful too me as long as I and/or our children are being taken care of, why fault anyone for their choices. What you should really be concerned with are those men and women with or without kids who ONLY is dating someone for a free ride. I am talking about those vampiric, parasitic men and women who suck the very life out of a person as they work hard to try and maintain the household and relationship, while the other is spending more than they can afford.
If a person is open and honest, meaning, they tell you off the back what they are looking for (that goes for if you are just in a relationship for the money, sex, connection, roof over your head, etc.), how can you fault them when most of us have hidden agendas that don't come out until later relationship?
Just some food for thought before anyone starts downing and disrespecting a person showing true honesty. | |
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