| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 12:07:26 PM | | Sunmaiden,that is exactly my point.I've done stupid things,you have,and everyone else has too.You learned not to keep doing the same things cause you realized.......holy shit,I keep hurting myself.I'm not mean,just honest.This woman may not be stupid(I have my doubts about that),but the fact is-the things she is doing are very stupid.The only person who can put an end to her suffering is her.Obviously she doesn't have the brain,will,or esteem to get it done.Don't come on a message board whining when you give a guy milk for free and don't make him buy the cow.Like you said Sunmaiden,if someone knows in their heart that they have no chance to succeed-why do you even get involved?My answer,cause you're obviously not that bright.This dude blatantly spits in her face,and she says-thank you,wanna have sex now?In my book that's a moron. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 12:54:48 PM | Hey, Mich...
I just read your profile. You're a lovely, gorgeous woman who deserves a happy life and a good guy. I've been there, too. I know the thought of getting help can be a bit daunting. If you don't know where to start you can go to your library & check out a self help book or maybe you can contact the United Way to see if they can refer you to someone. We can't really guess on here what exactly is the root of your problems with bad relationships, but we can se a person who is hurting. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 1:42:40 PM | somewhere...
Joined: 1/16/2006 Msg: 26 view profile Ready to give up Posted: 6/18/2006 11  29 AM reality is that you've made a mistake I suspect that for this person reality is: she'll keep making mistakes Some people learn from a mistake. Other's make another mistake, then make another mistake, then make another mistake,........
How do we know she hasn't learned. Give her time to grieve and overcome her pain. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 2:28:57 PM | | Hi! Hey, you sound a nice girl, but what others think is not important...what I'm trying to say is that it is important that you think of yourself highly. You are unique, someone precious who wants to receive love as well as giving it in return. First things first....try not to think of this guy as 'the one'. Try to see him in a realistic light. He is living with another woman AND you saw him dancing with a young girl...hey...where's the love he's showing to you in that? Don't you see? He is betraying the woman he lives with, you AND the girl he was dancing with. What you are feeling is not love....it is a human need of wanting to be loved and making the mistake of trying to change a person to be what they are not. Now try and fill your heart with love, real love and understanding and forgiveness. Try to feel sorry for this guy because he hasn't reached true love or true connection with a woman...because if he had he would not be playing around. Sex is not love....especially for guys. We girls give out sex because we hope it will make the guy love us....but that doesn't happen. For a guy to fall in love and to love it must happen first with the heart. A loving heart would not be playing around with other girls sweetie. Trust what I'm saying. Next step is trusting yourself, never forgetting that you are special and that you must look after yourself, not only for yourself but also for the people who love you...like your family....they want to see you happy too. Whilst you are wasting your time and emotions on this guy, you could be missing the chance of finding a guy who really could love you and you him. If you live by what is good and right,and you do not do damage to yourself by sleeping with the type of guy who does not deserve the precious love you have to give and you are patient, then someone wonderful will come into your life eventually. Be strong x | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 3:25:24 PM | This relationship your in will not work on any level. At 43 you should have known not to get involved with someone who is already in a relationship.
If you live in a small town do you not think all the people in the bar and town are not talking about you and him.
Learn to have some respect for yourself and reputation. Past behaviour is a prediction of future behaviour, unless you learn and grow from it. Forget the guy!!! If you go back to him you deserve what you get! | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 3:52:10 PM | This is the reason she isn't getting a lot of empathy on this forum...
This too:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2881044.aspx
And this:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2762432.aspx
Those are the reasons why I posted that she needs professional help. This is a habitual problem that she has. This also leads me to wonder if it is necessarily the guys who are the problem as you can blatantly see she causes enough drama herself. It's also why I said she's throwing pity parties. She's not looking for advice like she claims, she's looking for people to feel sorry for her for all the problems she has with relationships. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 4:18:19 PM | | Thanx all for your replys! And to all your heartless ***holes BITE ME!! Im not looking for sympathy!! | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 4:26:42 PM | This too:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2881044.aspx
And this:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2762432.aspx
And... ?
Losing a pet is hard. Getting dumped around Christmas is hard. Not knowing what you're doing wrong is hard. Since I'm on the tail end of 30 I can probably relate better than you. It just get's harder when you see life passing you by, everyone else is married & happy with 2.5 kids & you're not even in a solid relationship. I can totally relate. Is it a reason to date bad dudes? No, but when you're out in the singles jungle, you don't always recognize them right away. You can meet someone who seems like a total peach, but a few weeks in to it turns in to a rotten egg. It happens all the time. She should probably seek help if this has made her life unmanageable.
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 4:27:16 PM | | Well you knew what you were getting yourself into when you started sleeping with someone else's common law husband. If I were you I would find someone else that isn't already in a relationship. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 4:32:37 PM | WOWSERS and such other 3 dollar words.
Get help. You need serious professional help. Do not pass go..............do not collect 200 dollars. Do it first thing tomorrow morning. A womans shelter is a good place to start. They will put you in the right direction.
This is advice already given and the very best thing for YOU. This man is NOT I repeat NOT your best friend as you quoted. I feel he is a predator at best.
Good luck. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 4:57:52 PM | | Wow people on pof are really heartless! Dont worry I have tough skin! Wasnt looking to be cuddled!! lol | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:03:28 PM | Madam. I hope you are not referring to me. I speak only what I see here. If you feel you are fine. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm HELLO. Do you feel it FINE to sleep with a man involved with another???? Do you feel it FINE to scream and yell at your so called best friend for screwing around with another gal while srewing around with you behind his SOs back?
Do you feel it FINE to have to take medication because you are soooooooooooo NOT clear of mind????
Thick skinned??? This thread HAS got to be a sick joke.
Heartless??? You are kidding me right? | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:12:05 PM |
Wow people on pof are really heartless!
Who's heartless? I see people offering you advice, like you said you wanted.
But like I said... you're looking for sympathy. You can deny it all you want, but you wouldn't call people who give you sound advice heartless if you were really looking for advice. This is why you are having problems. You aren't grounded. You seem to want the world to change for you. It's not going to. And things are not going to get any better unless do something other than sit around listening to people agree with you that the guy was scum. | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 40 | |
| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:24:32 PM | | No pity party here girl...you're cracking me up!!! Thanks!!!! :-))))))) | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:37:39 PM | Moral of the story: Chicks dig jerks.
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:41:09 PM | | What could a self-respecting woman see in a scumbag like that?? | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:54:11 PM | Nothing to do with being heartless!! People on fish are giving you a taste of reality. The situation you have gotton yourself into is a no brainer from the get go.
You have taught this man, that sleeping with another woman is okay, you have taught him so by sleeping with him. Then you seemed surprised when he is getting close to another one.
Don't ask the question, if you don't want to hear the answers. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 6:02:35 PM | Anyone who threatens you with a weapon needs to be talking to the jailer, and next the Judge about Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon. At that point his behavior is not about your emotional attachment to a really bad guy; it's criminal in the worst way. Contact Law Enforcement, and not for "revenge" but for the protection of the general public. And for the love of God, don't wimp out and decide you do not wish to file charges. RUN!
Yes it is hard to give up an attachment but this is a toxic and - please hear this part -- DANGEROUS -- one that needs to be cut. Just because it's hard to give up a bad addiction doesn't mean you should keep it. Stand up and respect yourself and realize you don't want this kind of person anywhere near you!
It doesn't sound like you are strong enough emotionally to do this alone. Ask for professional guidance before you are totally destroyed. Do this for yourself. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 6:11:46 PM | ^^^^^^I missed something.......
where was the deadly weapon mentioned??????????????? | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 6:17:36 PM | | Message no. 9 apparently from a prior post? Did I mis-read this? I thought she said he pulled a gun on her at one point. Now that should be a pretty strong motivator to get away. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 6:21:49 PM | thanxks Ms Texas, I'd re-read all of the OP's posts in this thread looking for mention of a weapon and didn't see it.
....and I agree with you, this is another reason to stay away from that man. | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/18/2006 6:40:36 PM | | I may be heartless,but you take stupid pills.You'll keep going back to the guy.You know you will cause you don't have the heart(guts) to change.He'll spit in your face again......then you'll get naked.This would be more interesting if a deadly weapon was involved.The only deadly weapon I know of here is Michchicks mind. | |
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/19/2006 5:33:13 AM | ^^ the weapon was mentioned by the OP in another thread...
-Thread: Having him as a friend or not at all, which pain is worse????-
-Posted: 5/28/2006 12PM -
I feel so bad for you! Im going through a simialr situation. Ive got a guy Ive been best freinds with for 8 months. Well we eventually crossed the line. Now Im not sure Ive done the right thing. Dont get me wrong we are so compatible and I enjoy every moment with him but...he lives with someone downstate and comes up state 3 days a week. I feel like Im going out with a married man. MY g/fs tell me to just ride the wave that when we are together they can tell he really likes me. But last night I got drunk at his bar I left my car there and he drove me home we got in a fight and omg he pulled a gun on me it was something outta a movie. This is to crazy drama drama drama I wish u well girl!! | |
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| Ready to give up
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:37:26 AM | Hey you know what. I'm sick and tired of dancing for someone elses feelings. Sure I care about people. I can be tactful when the mood strikes. The mood does not strike me here.
Here is exactly what I feel is happening here. This little girl (in my opinion) Wanted this guy. She could care less about the other woman in the picture. Could not give a rats bottom for anyones feelings but her selfish own. Nice lady. Real warmth.
Furthermore I see a golddigger who got trapped in her own web of deceit. How tough skinned are ya now little girl. Did you make that phone call yet? Nice person. Yeah ok. Let this nice person chum around with your man. I bet this is not the first time either.
I say this because this venue allows me too. | |
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