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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > 5 1/2 years meant nothing to her      Home login  
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 crazeegyrl
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 26
5 1/2 years meant nothing to herPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I hear ya, I just got out a long term relationship and I am having a hard time being single-not used to not having sex on demand.......
 cinnamonstick
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 27
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 6/19/2006 11:25:12 AM
Hey bear sometimes people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and convince themselves their in love. But psychology and experience tell the truth because the relationships can't stand the test of time. I ended a relationship after 17 yrs.,we had just grown apart and I needed my freedom to continue to grow as a person. She has given you your room to become the person you've been putting off.I don't like to assign blame,it was part of your life experience and it sucks and it hurts. You'll be ok your a fighter and a survivor. Besides lifes an adventure take it.
 QBCONNER
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 28
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 6/19/2006 11:28:23 AM

How can u just wake up one morning after 5 1/2 years and no longer love some1 like you did the night before


well it happened to me after 20 yrs. we werent even fighting, and he kicked me and both our teenage kids to the curb. at first I was devistated but its been 2 yrs now, and i have learned it wasent ""ME"" shortly after he got caught, I found out this other woman was loaded!! lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$... so in the long run he lost ,not me, as niether of my children even wish to talk to him..and im moving on too..id rather have love and happiness than money.
 Mystery_Lady29
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 29
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5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 3:16:33 AM
Money can't buy happiness. There are many people who are materialist and think that if they have all the material things they want in life they will be happy. I believe the true meaning to happiness is being with someone who loves you and you love them back. We all have stories to tell. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. There are many who are dishonest and will just take what they can get from you and when you have nothing left they move on to the next one and you are left wondering what you did wrong. The answer to that was nothing... chances are you were in love and blinded and did not see what was happening. Relationships are like jobs and need to be worked on everyday. When we get so busy with our lives and neglect our significant others is when things start to fall apart. Everyone wants attention and wants to feel needed and loved. To many go into relationships carrying the baggage from the past relationships and allow it affect the present. The baggage needs to be dealt with and left in the past where it belongs. Starting a new relationship knowing full well you have not dealt with your past is doomed to end in failure and in most cases hurt the one you are with. It is easy to put those demons to rest as I believe as we get older each relationship gets more complicated. Allowing ourselves to feel for others is hard to do as it makes us vulnerable and open to being hurt, but I believe it is the only way to start anew. Take chances.. life is about taking chances! It could be possible you are so busy looking at the door that has closed behind you that you don't see the one that has opened!
 Jy121
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 30
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 3:30:22 AM
Hey Bear I know what you are going thru, trust me, After four years of marriage and six years together, my wife up and told me that she wanted out, and need to go back home to the states, that was a shock, but the real kicker is when she told me both my kids, my sweet little kids are not mine , and are in fact her EX's that she has been seeing off and on for the past six years!!!! I am crushed.
 Aries Girl
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 31
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 3:56:30 AM

Hey Bear I know what you are going thru, trust me, After four years of marriage and six years together, my wife up and told me that she wanted out, and need to go back home to the states, that was a shock, but the real kicker is when she told me both my kids, my sweet little kids are not mine , and are in fact her EX's that she has been seeing off and on for the past six years!!!! I am crushed.


Hey Bear....I am so sorry this happened to you. It's not easy to just "move on" after 5 1/2 years of your life, but you are strong and move on you shall. Just be thankful that you did not wind up like this poor guy.

And JY....my goodness....I am absolutely speachless that someone could be that heartless and cold. You have my complete and total heartfelt sympathy. I am sending BIG to both of you.

Blessings,
Aries
 Jy121
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 32
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 4:15:22 AM
Aries,
Thank you for your kind works and sympathy, it means allot when someone you have never met has more compassion then the person you open you heart to. Thanks
J
 Aries Girl
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 33
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 7:40:23 AM
Oh J......

Remember...karma...while it may take it's sweet ol' time is ALWAYS served!

Blessings,

Aries
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 34
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:00:46 AM
Cudly Bear,

Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you deal with it. If you let yourself wallow in self pity then you are basically handing control of your life over to your emotions.

If you want to dig out of the hole you are in, you have to be man enough to wrest back control of your life.

You can CHOOSE to wallow in self pity or you can CHOOSE to make something positive out of the experiences you have had.

The choice is completely yours.
 so_sick_of_lovesongs
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 35
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 1:33:25 PM
i feel for u man its hard very very hard..

i had a relationship for 5 years we had our fights but manage to get back togather but nows its over and you know what she dump me for another guy!! after a week altho she says she still loves me and misses but you know what just think with your head there had to be something wrong in the relationship. i know people say time heals and just get over her its hard tho right?. but time does heal. she still loves u and u love her but mybe its not the same love as before? people change and you need to go out with ur freinds and just get crazy do something you never did before.. your single now..

wish u luck
 sassyfox
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 36
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5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 2:11:37 PM
I feel your pain. 4 1/2 yrs meant nothing to him either. Wished it meant nothing to me, too.
 cuddles24
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 37
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/3/2006 5:03:12 PM
Cudly Bear, Im so sorry to hear that. Things will get better. After 2 and half yrs of me giving my ex husband all of my love...Even marryin him in his culture.. he tells me that he only married me for his citizenship I was crushed. It still hurts knowing that everything we did together he was just pretending.

Your in my prayers......God Bless!
 notalk
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 38
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5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/5/2006 4:08:11 PM

You aren't good enough for anyone. You probably will be better off killing yourself. This generally seems to allow people to at least remember you as being someone special (although you most likely are not)

Stop whining. Get over your crap or kill yourself please.... I am sick of hearing self pity stories from whining losers


kind of makes your ex seem like an angel sent from God. I pity whoever ends up with this person. there going to need all the help they can get, and they certainly won't get it from this person.


sorry to hear about you situation, i am going thru something similiar. sometimes the only way to get thru is to convince yourself your too good for her.

my ex basically did the same thing, now granted there are always legitimate reasons for walking away from someone. but sometimes nothing makes sense and you just have to believe you will be better off in the long run and hopefully find someone better. I know i have to say that to myself all the time right now.

good luck buddy!!
 Dragon_Soul
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 39
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5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/5/2006 4:14:46 PM
If you don't want to read "self-pity" (aka: someone looking for comfort in times of personal chaos) stories, then don't read the thread titled "Broken Hearts"
 Metaphysicalman
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 40
5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/5/2006 4:24:16 PM
That's a stupid thread title!

Very irrational and, all or nothing, type thinking!

Sorry about your grief. But people do fall out of love. And
as far as men go, most have no concept about what keeps
a woman attracted to them. But, it's basically, the qualities
that she was attracted to from the beginning. Some of the
qualities you have demonstrated in this thread, would not be
considered attractive to a woman.

There is a train of thinking that I subscribe to, that says
marriage and family is obsolete. It served a purpose once,
but not anymore. The community and specifically the elders,
should play a large role in raising children. Not children
raising children! Then when the couple decide to go their
separate ways, all this crap doesn't happen!
 qtpi83
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 41
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5 1/2 years meant nothing to her
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:56:37 AM
i had the same problem when me and my guy of 5 years broke up, it took me 6 months to realize that i am still human and that i did love him but i was not in love with him, there is a difference, now that i have realized it i want to move on with my life i have finally come to realize that just because i was not good enough for him or whatever it was i am still good enought for the rest of the world! smile cheer up and have a great day everyday, i know it hurts but the day will come when you realize that life is better off trust me the time you had together probably meant the world to her and it probably always will girls work in complicated ways
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