| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 5:32:36 PM | Sure, I think about it sometimes. But I'm stubborn so here I am still. I also continue to hold onto the hope of finding someone. And it's a nice alternative to meeting women at bars and clubs. Being on this site at least gives you the chance to talk to others who are sober. Well, I hope they are. But who knows what they may be drinking at their computer. lol.
So even though I haven't had much luck here, I'll stay, at least for now. Though when I find someone, or she finds me, (if dreams really can come true) that is when I'm out of here. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 5:43:45 PM | I think about giving up all the time.. but it's not in me. I have, however, been concentrating more on other things and if "it" happens, I hope I will be ready and see "it" lol... THEY tell you all sorts of things.. what else CAN they say? Give up? no.. Soooo THEY just say what was said to them and those before them.."it'll happen when I least expect it" ... lol.. sure. So why do SO many have "it" happen when they DO expect it? Hehe.. THEY don't have a clue! It will be as it will be.. and time will tell, it always does..
BEST to you!
Linda | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 5:53:26 PM | I am taking a break. Had a run of men in the past two years that come off like they are ready for something real then turn around and hide tail because they are scared I am going to hurt them.......
What! e-ver.
They call back months later, apologetic and wanting another chance. As far as I am concerned, they had a chance, they thought they could find something better and realized all too late thier insecurities blocked the way. Any more I don't look back. Its their decision and I can't make someone want me when they don't even know what they want themselves. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 5:59:05 PM | "that. I'm the first to admit that the right girl, or indeed any girl, is unlikely to just fall in my lap or knock at my door... but as I approach middle-age I have no patience or energy left for all these head-games. Finding someone should not be work and I don't want to feel like a salesmen every time I write an email. So yeah, I give up.. I don't even have to try to give up, since I've never gotten anywhere.. all I do is carry on living as I have done. I'll let all those women search for they badboy or prince-charming. Good luck to them."
Well, man, you're in good company I can tell you that. It's pretty darn screwed up out there. It's a very sad day when convicted murderers - MURDERERS - get love letters and cards from hundreds of women and get married while average, hardworking guys very often get zilch, and that doesn't count the garden variety badboys. It's almost like the movie "Ghost", where the ghosts are the average, hardworking, decent law abiding guys. The ghosts can see the world and other ghosts, but when it comes to the opposite gender, are invisible. If you're over say 30 and treat people in general and women well, unless you are very good looking and/or have lots of money, it seems a celibate lifestyle is more than likely.
Tell you what you might do, and it's just a little friendly advice from someone who's been there, done that and bought the T-shirt. I'd fill my life so full of activities you don't even have time to think about it. I personally started a business, added new hobbies and volunteer work, and that sort of thing. It's fun, it's rewarding, and best of all, you find you can live quite well as a single person. Also look at what you don't have, and I don't mean a date. I'm talking about a hostile court system where men face financial ruin in divorce, which happens far more often than not nowadays. Sometimes single is indeed better.
Would I like to have the right person in my life? Of course. But better being single than in a bad situation with someone in my life who makes it a living heck! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 6:18:32 PM | it's better being single than to be in a wrong relationship ...
they say love comes when you least expect it.
If you look for love you are mostly to attract wrong people and the end result can be dreadful and dismay.
Yes, we all fear to be alone for the rest of our lfie, who wouldn't!!
However, being single we enjoy the freedom of by ourselves where we dont' have to cater to anybody's needs, or worry about if we are liked or not. In other words, we can be totally be ourselve and be our own boss!!!
Wouldn't that be a great idea to be single???
They say grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
I had been in a marriage and I resent the relationship because it was not meant to be.
In other words, recognize the fact that you want to be with the right person or else be alone.
You don't want to be treated anything less than you deserve. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 6:25:44 PM | Here is a word of advice to you guys who have so much trouble with women. The problem is not with you nor your looks nor your job, car, hair, or anything else. It is your attitude. You need be confident -- I don't mean just act confident but really be confident!
Try this -- the next time you go into a bar or singles dance or some other event where there is dancing, walk up to the cutest girl there and say, "excuse me, would you like to dance?"
Don't stutter and do not act or look desperate. Don't try pickup lines because they do not work. The "will you dance" line is the best thing known to mankind . . . this is why they invented dancing. Do not worry about being a good dancer -- I'm terrible at it and I have gone out onto the floor with people who dance competitively. But when she says "yes", get out on the floor and lead her.
If the best looking girl scares you, start out with the ugliest woman there -- she's definitely dying for someone to ask her to dance and your chances of success are 100%. When you get her out on the floor, give her a good time -- talk and have fun with her. Beauty is only skin deep and many girls who are not beautiful have the greatest personalities. In addition, the other girls *will* notice and you will make big points with everyone if you play the part of the gentleman and act attentive to a woman who everyone else ignores.
Regarding online dating, it is tough -- probably ten times as tough as meeting people for real. Women are very defensive online. When you talk to a woman online, never ever, ever talk about sex -- even if she tries to steer the conversation that way. Believe me -- it is a trick and a trap. Make it your motto never to say anything that you would not say to your mother . . . Try to be funny and light if you can. Don't expect too much from online dating and do not get too caught up in it.
Some other suggestions are to try humor. Women respond to humor and you do not have to be Seinfeld. Just make an attempt. If you make a dumb, foolish joke and she laughs, you know that you have an interested person on the hook. Guys -- if you do these things, you will have success with the ladies beyond your wildest dreams . . . trust me on this. | |
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zooom
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Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 157 | |
| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 6:30:41 PM | | I tried to trust you on that but I started laughing instead. I will thank you for taking the time to explain it for us. Time you stole from one of the many women with whom your successful approach has worked and whom you now keep around in flocks or droves, making your appearance here something of a selfless miracle when you could be off having fun with any one of them. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 6:45:59 PM | I think about it all the time. I think maybe I should just forget about my want and desires and just consentrate on my son. Then there are times I say screw it. I want that special some one around to hold, to talk to, to feel close to in away that you just can't get from a child. But I have been through so many bad relationships that make me start to wonder is there really anybody out there that will love me for me? I am Sarting to feel just like a bowling ball.
I get picked up. I get Fingered. I get thrown in the gutter. And then I come back for more.
Cause it true I feel that I am sucker for punishment. I Even as it sits right now. I am not really looking. May looking for friends and if more comes out of it then great if not well then at least i made a new friend and you know what sometimes in the long run that can be better. I guess what I am trying to say is don't give up completly. Take your time sit back and take what life has to offer you. Don't look at what you don't have look at what you do have. And once you have confidence in yourself then I am sure the right person will come along. Who knows she could be on this thread and you don't even know it.
Stay strong
Whisper. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/1/2006 8:22:42 PM | | I think about it. I've actually quit the dating site thing a couple of times and then came back. I'd love to give up the whole dating scene and trying to find the right person, but at this point I don't hold out much hope for myself. I guess I'll try for a while longer and see how it goes. Anyway, I know how you feel. Good luck to you. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/2/2006 5:43:41 AM | @david...
And once "all those beautiful girls" notice you and how charming you are, how you have such a great sense of humour and you never utter anything you might not say to your mother....what happens to all the "ugly girls with great personalities"??? Are they waiting for the next "prince charming" to come along and do them the big favour of getting them onto the dance floor?? You are right confidence is a good quality to have but..coc kiness is not.
Loopy.... | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/2/2006 6:01:05 AM | Give up.
The world has too many people using too much stuff. The vast majority of relationships fail, and personally I don't see the point of embarking on something with an extremely high likelihood of failure.
It's only biology and 'love', a form of madness, that means people don't respect themselves enough to live alone.
You'll save yourself a lot of hassle, plus not having a child will be the single most meaningful thing you can do for the environment. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/2/2006 6:22:19 AM | | If someone can tell me how to delete my profile I will be gone tommorow. theres lots of nice people here, its just easier to avoid the wrong people in "real life" | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/2/2006 6:36:30 AM | Up until yesterday I would have said, don't be a fool NEVER GIVE UP. I thought I had found the man of my dreams, really, I'd never met anyone quite like him, we were so compatable, I couldnt' believe it was it happening, and as it turns out, I was right to not believe it was happening because it wasn't. The bubble has burst.
I honestly don't believe I will ever meet anyone suitable, by suitable, I mean non-alcoholic, not physically abusive and truthful. Are my expectations too high?
I have considered giving up after this last body blow, but on reflection, there is so much joy to be found in simple courtship, some people can live with out it, but for me it is the spice of life. So, a-courting I will go with zero expectations, that way if anything good happens it will be a bonus.
We all have our own ways of coping with loss or disappointment. My advice is just not to expect too much. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/2/2006 6:59:45 AM | To OP:
Don't lose hope, there are women out there. Yes, the young, pretty women tend to have boyfriends or treat men badly because there are more men than they can shake a stick at.
My profile lists the demographics, as men get older, the ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women shifts in men's favor around age 40. By age 65 there are 3 women for every man. But who wants to date old women, right?
The ratio of men to women on internet dating favors women. Do a search for women in what ever age and geographic location. Then do a similar search for men with the same criteria. See if there are more men or women. With that, I think the internet is good for women, but bad for men on finding a special someone. For men, we should go out in real life and meet women.
Best wishes,
Puppy Love | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:02:05 AM | | I have often thought about giving up, but decided to come to my senses about dating in general. First, I had to review my expectations relationship wise; were they realistic? Secondly, I had to make sure that I was in a good place, from an emotional standpoint; I needed to be really ready for a relationship. You are a nice looking fellow and please don't give up; start focusing on positive things; don't stress about it too much! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:14:51 AM | I feel the same. I'm so tired of men. 90% of all the guys I have ever met, played me. I do not like being used. Why people insist on thinking they are the apex of the world is beyond me. I am starting to tire of my existance. I was cursed to live alone and it has proven to be a curse I can not break. Perhaps I should fade from this earth. I have lived long enough. Time never ends for me. It moves slower than growing grass. I can not find the strength I need to carry on as I have. Many times have I wished for death to take me home. You speak of frusteration and desperation. I speak of dispare and udder lonelyness. I do not feel. I only remember what once was. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:35:14 AM | One thing I cannot stand is for example you meet someone you think the dates going well they say "I would like to hang out again" "I had fun" etc... and then never call!!! I got my hopes up recently and never got a call back you know how much that hurts to get rejected like that.. I start thinking ohh am I too ugly, too over weight like what is wrong with me. So yah I have given up, I thought maybe JUST maybe he was different but honestly they all the same it seems like...The other thing is, is that in their profiles it clearly states "not into games, nice guy etc..." BULL I dont think they exist anymore!!! I am giving this person the chance to prove himself as a nice guy and if not then I am done for good.. I cannot handle rejection, my self esteem is already soo low as it is one more thing could send me over board.. The only thing keeping me somewhat sane is my beautiful daughter who is only 4 months old!!! I know it might be too early to think about dating but GAWD its been soo long since I had a companion.. I've been single for a yr and a half and I keep thinking you know what its just not worth the hassle!!!
So I guess I am looking for some ideas too on how to lift my spirits!!! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 5:42:57 AM | Hi White: I'm with you. I come to read the forums. No pictures, no profile really. I met the man of my dreams 2 years ago. I was (and to some degree still am) mad about him. We saw each other "romantically" for a couple of months and then, he decided, that "he changed his mind." Needless to say, that was it for me. He and I remain friends and I get to watch him waltz around with a married chick. Committmentphobe I guess. Guess he thought that was better than me. So, that did me in. I'll never put myself through that again. Why go out with someone else who your going to end up short changing because someone else was "the one." Hand me the clicker, something's gotta be on!
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 5:58:41 AM | hi there , i know just how you feel !!! been single now over 5 years and only started dateing this year , have had about 5 dates but all but 1 was so nice i could of fall in love there and then lol !! we had 5/6 great dates and things were so good i new it was to good to be true after a couple of months she said she wasnt ready and was worried it was going to fast ???? i was so sick !!!!! since then i havnt found anyone that comes near her and i dont thing an going to , who knows ? i like being single but get so lonely so like you thinking about giving up , to make things worse we still chat and text but in my heart i know shes the one !! so like you wont do i do ?
wayne | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 6:09:13 AM | Yea take care of yourself now and it may look bleak but its really not that bad. You do have to watch out though as you date again down the roead.
When it comes to bums...women can take the cake too. you can prevent yourself from being hurt again if you call it quits..You can date..you can love..but never never get married--once that happens it is time to call it quits..No more free rides..
Of course when you let the wrong head think first you are at high risk.. But the best thing to do is to spell it out to them. I now refuse to raise another lazy man's kids, I wont pay YOUR bills, and I certainly wont fix all the problems YOU started.. Now if they then say hey I will take care of MY own mess first --then you may have a winner...otherwise stay by yourself let em stave and stay deep in debt..and raise their own kids FIRST.. then you can consider getting deeply involved...RULE OF THUMB..they better have just as much to loose as you do! That puts any freeloader man or woman on notice and keeps you from being USED.
The biggest thing is there are only two kinds of people..those whom you love and those whom love you...its hard to find both who think the same. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 8:11:59 AM | | Believe me Saint I have no idea what to do. I know I cry a lot. I know when I see him wit that that "thing" I wish a lightening bolt would strike me. Other than that, I just figure, not everyone was meant to have someone. Fighting it (at least for me) only makes it worse. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 9:00:15 AM | | I FEEL THE EXCACT SAME WAY U DO TIRED OF NOT FINDING SOMEONE OR WHEN I DO ITS THE WRONG ONE. NO BODY IS PERFECT I UNDERSTAND THAT BUT I JUST ABOUT GIVEN UP ON BOTH MEN AND WOMAN . NOBODY OUT THERE FOR ME. | |
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