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tarona
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Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 201 | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 12/4/2006 1:08:39 PM | | Well I am now waiting to meet someone that I have been chatting and talking with,,from this site. Just as I was ready to remove my profile and give up,,or should I say just accept the fact I may be better off alone,,it happened. He is a beautiful man ,,with all the qualities I want in a partner. He is worldly,,has great communication skills,,has acheived more in life than most do in a lifetime.! When we talk ,,and we talk,,his voice and words make me feel so content and comfortable. The attraction is already there,,now we will meet soon! Hopefully my search will have a happy ending! But I can truly say that everything about this person is what I truy desire and want in my life. For me,,being single 10 yrs that is a big statement! So if this all works out and is meant to be,,I will write about it on here,,and be ending my search forever. !!! | |
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tif24
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Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 203 | |
| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 12/4/2006 2:32:13 PM | | oh my god....i so feel the same way..my problem is i always seem to catch guys after a hard break up and i'm always the rebound chick and then after a while they go right back to there ex's..that sucks..beleive me..especially if you fall in love with them..or think you did anyway. i've heard people say if you quit looking you'll eventually find the one your supposed to be with but honestly..think about it..how much sense does that actually make. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 12/4/2006 3:13:41 PM |
So maybe I should just call it quits and enjoy being single if that's possible.
If that's how you feel, you should honor it. Enjoy your own accompany and live an exciting life that you are really proud of, the right people will come along on their own.
I feel like I have better odds of winning the lottery.
Love is not a matter of luck. Do you feel confident in yourself? Do you feel excited about what you are doing everyday? Do you love and respect yourself? Do you believe that you deserve love? When you change how you think and behave, you will definitely see a different result. That's guaranteed, better than winning a small lottery. | |
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beate
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Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 205 | |
| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 12/4/2006 3:43:12 PM | Yes - me
I had the worse experience of my life with a man I met via this very site.
He turned out to be very dishonest, a prolific liar and serial dater and is still at it.
We had a very long relationship with a normal progression, chatting on line and on th ephone, then meeting for dinner and drinks across a few months before becoming intimate. We met each others kids etc. etc. He convinced me that I was the one and how much he loved me & I consider myself a strong and intuitive person...............I found out that he has done exactly the same thing to a number of other women who are on this site, even managed to speak to two of them. So in all, I would say be very very careful.
Luckily, I found out just in time and stopped the sale of my house going through as we were meant to be buying a house together. What really saddens me is that I am 100% sure he will carry on.
I think some people are addicted to that first rush/adrenelin buzz from new love and there is a lot of truth in what one guy wrote in another forum in respect of kid in a candy shop syndrome...... where someone like this will always think they can find something/someone better.....................
I will not ever be fooled again or meet anyone off a site ever again, I couldn't risk it.
I love to chat to people but that is as far as it will ever go again. I think these sites are rife with dangerous predaors and I STRONGLY urge every one to be very careful. Much better to get out in your community and meet people face on, however difficult it is and we all know that isn't always easy. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 12/4/2006 7:29:20 PM | What is it that you really want? If you want to meet someone, there are other options out there, other than the online thing.
I have gone through bouts of frustration in the time I have been online dating, so I take a break and come back to it with the battery recharged and a different perspective, and I find that works. I know for me, I enjoy men too much to ever just totally give up and not have someone special in my life again, so I keep trying.
No one here can tell you what you should do. You have to decide that for yourself.
Good luck to you! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 12/4/2006 7:52:04 PM | | I'd vote don't give up, don't keep trying, do something for yourself. Go back to school, join a club of something you're interested in. Do something to better yourself and create the person that you want someone to fall in love with. And if it happens......great! and if not.......you've just created the person that you WANTED to be and falling in love with the greatness of yourself. Switch your dream, and someone will find that you might be the dream they're looking for. Just be yourself, have fun, recreate yourself and enjoy whomever might come your way. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/7/2007 6:58:58 PM | | Hey Ian, If I could just comment on what you have said?? I have tried to email YOU many times and YOU have done to me exactly the same as what YOU accuse others of doing...."unread deleted" to my messages to you. You don't seem to take the time to read the message that someone has sent YOU, even if it is just to reply to it with, "sorry not interested" ....so don't be so quick to cry wolf.....when YOU play the very same games!!!! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/7/2007 10:23:35 PM | Dating is a gamble. You chat with someone, possibly go out with them. And then nothing. You or they don't feel anything. Maybe you've meet one of the many people of integrity here who say they're "not into head game and aren't liars" and are..
If you don't think you'll find love, then you won't. There's far to much beauty in people to just walk on them, especially in dating. You get to learn about individuals, sorta of a psych 101..It's great..Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.. OOOHHH VEGAS anyone?
Know yourself and what you desire to find and Do NOT under any circumstances give up on those ethics..If you settle, you'll be miserable. Even if that means you walk away. Where will that get you? ALONE...Not a good place to be. In my humble opinion. Being single is pretty great though too. But yes being with someone who can wrap their brain around you and accept you for your messed up self and vice versa would be the ultimate...
Nothing Good, Ever Comes Easy! Good Luck in your decision! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/8/2007 11:20:55 AM | I don't know who or what most people are looking for these days; all I know is that it's obviously not me either... I'm equally as picky or not picky; I mean, I would settle for lil miss sunshine, if "she" would only be interested in (whatever they perceive me to be) LOL! Maybe certain factors depend upon outer appearance, not necessarily the fact that a person is ugly; maybe it's all a style (or fashion) issue? I mean, seriously, I don't really picture a certain type of people to be interested in me based entirely upon my wardrobe alone. Maybe it's something we've written (or forgot to write)? Maybe our interests are strange? It could be a number of things, or the simple fact that we don't have "desireable" characteristics (that appeal to the "mainstream" or "average" person)?
If such a person happens to exists (someone who will just go crazy over me), then she obviously doesn't have a profile up right now. I've thought about giving up for a long time, but who knows exactly WHEN someone will show up out of the blue? Profiles are created and deleted every day; I'm sure that someday (maybe) someone will show up and you happen to be the first to find her (or she to find you).
Although... that last statement has always led me into a false sense of hope, as there are generally very few people I REALLY get excited about. When I do, it turns out that the feeling isn't always mutual... (I've waited all my life to meet you and you tell me you've found another...) What happens then? Makes you feel like the world is f*cking with you doesn't it? Tempting us with something/someone we were always be able to find, but never truly have. I know I sound hypocritical right now, but I'm just debating with myself right now (just because I don't want to argue with anyone else). I guess the only thing to do is to keep going (no matter how bleak the situation appears).
Do hopes and dreams really come true? Or do they simply just turn to dust? It's either one, or both... | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:04:12 PM | I THINK ABOUT GIVING UP MOST OF THE TIME BUT IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE AND YOU REALISE IT TAKE TIMES TO FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE WE ALL GO THRU IT SO YOUR NOT ON YOUR OWN IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXSPECT IT,U SEEM LIKE A NICE GUY ANY WOMAN WILL BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.CHEERIO  | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/11/2007 7:29:39 PM | Ok so I realize that this was started a while ago but I've just spent the last hour reading all the notes and I've realized that I'm not alone. I think I've done every single thing that I've been told to do to make my profile "better" and no one ever responds. I have several people put me on their favorites list and I have NO idea who they are. Not once have they sent me a message! I send messages to people who seem interesting and no response...so yes, I think it is safe to say I'm giving up. Maybe my prince charming will show up one day...but with the luck I'm having he'll go to the airport and I'll be on the docks.....
I just know that yes I'm tired of being single!!!! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:14:02 PM | Hey sweetguy6:
I hear where you arre coming from, when ya say that, are ya ever going to beable to find someone.
However, on the flipside of that coin, being single is not as bad as some people may think or beleive it to be.
Being single means, that you get to do what, you want, when you want, and how ya want.
That may seem a little selfish, yet, it IS the TRUTH.
YOUR time is YOUR time, and YOU chose what YOU want to do with it.
To aleviate those times, where ya feel lonely, rather then just sit at home, just go out, and do the things that interest you, and that you enjoy doing the most.
Find hobbies, whatever it maybe that interests you, and you like doing.
Hey, it is not the end of the world, if you do not find your ultimate mate. And if you don't find her, so what, just keep doing the things that MAKE YOU HAPPY, and enjoy doing.
Hey dude, single life is NOT, as bad, as some people claim it to be.
Just live it, and enjoy it.
One major project that I have coming up, is searching for the needed computer componants, which is a lot of fun, because, ya get to look at a lot of different computer componants that you may want, to buy before building a brand new computer system.
Am I happy, and looking forward to that?
Ya darn rights I am, especially, since the computer system that I have now, is an old 350MHz system.
So, going SOLO, is NOT as bad as some people claim it to be.
So cheer up dude, and put on a happy face. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:24:44 PM | | I'm done. Going to focus on making money, hanging out with friends, and that's it. The funny thing is, I'm in 2 wedding parties this year as a groomsman, so obviously other people are finding the love of their lives. I'm happy for them. But for me, I'm done. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:25:24 PM | | Your not even alone ..DO you really know how many people there are out there like this. Its good really that you've given up cause when you dont want or try so hard she will come she'll just drop on your door step sort of say...Dont try so hard and ENJOY the single life while you can cause the other life canb get a little freaky at times...Cause it will end for you just as soon as your not looking and not trying..Good things i always say come to people that wiat... and that have a hard time finding what they want...May take some truoble but it will come TRUST ME ive been there. May sound nuts but its true people!! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:17:00 PM | Dont try so hard and ENJOY the single life while you can.
And that is what single life is all about, is to ENJOY.
So what, if we never meet that special someone, hey we all have other things to do in life that are just as important.
And there is NO, written law, that says we HAVE to have a relationship or marriage with the opposite sex, NONE whats so ever. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/12/2007 5:28:46 AM | | i have thought about it, and i kinda did for a while, and i do think sometimes maybe i will never find anyone again, maybe my expectations are too high, but i firmly believe that u must be physically attracted to someone as well as attracted to thier personality. maybe im wrong, but i say they have to be beautiful in your own eyes, nobody elses. anyway back to the point, i had given up, and then i decided not to try so hard to find someone and just wait and see wat happens. turns out there both as bad as each other, but slowly im getting use to the idea of being alone, though i do hope it doesnt last foreva. i have a lot of love to give and everyday im alone it just grows and eats at me. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/12/2007 5:50:24 AM | After leaving my husband in 1999, I took a break from men and finding a relationship. Now, I am ready...and I have given up because I have been ready for over 4 years, and I just cant seem to find a good man or one that can handle me.LOL But you know, they say when you stop looking is when GOD sends someone to you! So in the bottom of me, I am keeping the hope that it is true. I would rather be alone then be in a relationship of lies, cheating, hurt and a emotionally roller coaster life. You do have to focus on yourself, and make sure you are who you want to be and be where you want to be. Ok, now i said my peace.......lol I hope that everyone on this site finds exactly what they are looking for!  | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/12/2007 5:53:29 AM | Sweetheart, we all get disappointed and we all get rejections.i just think of pof as a place to get to know people, make new friends,go to some of the meets and if i,m lucky enough to meet someone nice then that is a bonus.I get involved in the forums and people on here are starting to get to know me too.heck sweetheart, your only young and thinking of giving up.I,m 51 and i,m not giving up,certainly not yet!Hang in there cos your day could be just around the corner.Big hugs | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/12/2007 3:21:06 PM | | That's what pof should be about. When you haven't got a bunch of sticks in the mud playing favorites. Just don't let some people even think yiou think they're nice. Forums is a great way to get to know people. Never give-up cause you just never know. I'm forty-one and being single sucks. Hang-in there cause "they" might be out there just waiting to be found. BIG hugs are better in person. | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 2/12/2007 3:52:10 PM | "Giving up" in some respects, may not be a bad thing, at least IMO.
For me, I've become less proactive at trying to seek someone out and more into going out and having a good time, meeting people in local POF events and making friends etc. and leaving my expectations on the shelf. I enjoy it more this way.
When I got right down to thinking about it, I met my ex, whom I was with almost 25 years in total (friends/dating/marriage combined) accidentally, and it turned into something long lasting. Not forever, no, but few things are I suppose. We were friends first, and as for this idiom here, and internet dating in general, well..as Dr Phil likes to say..; "how's that working for ya?" well...it isn't, so maybe a different approach is in order.
The caveat with my approach is that you must be happy alone. I am, for the most part, content with spending my life with ...me, rather than someone who doesn't fulfill my needs. And ironically, I feel that the very pressure to "find someone" is the thing that makes it elusive. People sense it.
And, when you ..."got nothin', you ain't got nothin' to lose" so you are more relaxed. People pick up on that too.
I don't have the answers for anyone but myself, and even that's taken a while to glean.
Better late than never though! | |
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| Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:24:39 PM | | I know how ya feel dude. Getting screwed over by them is part of life. I am a guy who has given up about 4 months ago. Its not the life I have imagined for me at this stage of my life but it is working for me. Right now I am mainly focusing on my job and renewing a view interests and hobbies that I had neglected while I wasting my time with the search. I have gotten comfortable and content with the way things have turned out. I have not closed the door to a true relationship completely, but I have accepted that it is possible that it could not happen. But the truth is the decision to give up is not for me or anyone else to tell you. Only you can answer that for yourself. You have to look real deep inside you and do what feels right. But one thing you need to remember is if you give up you need a good support system through your friends or any new friends you end up making and you also need to find things to occupy your time because you will have a lot of free time if you do give up. I wish you luck. Whether you find someone special or not has no bearing on if you have a fulfilling life or not. Thats all in your hands. | |
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