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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/1/2009 10:47:14 PM |
Kelley-1989,
the problem I have with your first comment is that saying 'pretty girls deserve high income men' .. or to that effect, implies that girls who are plainer do NOT 'deserve' to be with someone who can share with them a higher standard of lifestyle.
ClassifiedTMI I admit I should have taken the time to select a more appropriate word than 'deserve.' Regardless, the fact is that life is not fair and everyone does not have equal genes. Due to looks, intelligence, personality, age, money, or whatever, some people both male and females are more desirable to the opposite sex. Therefore, while 'deserving' may not be the appropriate word, typically or at least often, rich men and beautiful women pair up.
Unattractive women may say, “That’s not fair.” No, it isn’t, but that’s the way it is. This is life, it isn’t about what less attractive women want or what’s fair, it’s about what the marketplace wants. And for the most part the market doesn’t want unattractive women. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/2/2009 1:09:18 AM |
Unattractive women may say, “That’s not fair.” No, it isn’t, but that’s the way it is. This is life, it isn’t about what less attractive women want or what’s fair, it’s about what the marketplace wants. And for the most part the market doesn’t want unattractive women.
While that is true as a general rule, the down side is that a man whose money attracts women, will attract another woman when he is no longer interested in the one he has. It's a great deal for the men, but not necessarily for the women, in the long run, especially if the man is smart enough to insist on a prenup. Also, don't forget that the men who can afford escorts tend to be the ones with lots of disposable income. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/2/2009 5:44:20 AM | | Jesus H christ.You guys that get on here and complain about paying for the ladies is really getting old and making yourself sound cheap.Its simple realy.Man pays and shows hes capable of takin care of her,women demostraits her wealth of knowledge about doing laundry and cleaning and making you walk a good,strait line.If man cant afford her and the qwality she can bring into his life he needs to man up and do the nessasry changes to be able to,like get a better paying job.See how that works?A good women will always make you strive to be your best hence the term behind every sucsesfull man is a good women. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/2/2009 8:19:34 AM | Rock
How tall where U standing on your wallet? Too funny.
Well my point was that material circumstances change, and change can come quickly.
The answer to the question regarding foresters in Japan. The average was 72 years old....I once met a postal clerk in Montana. He was 92 years, still running the post office, though he did say the railroad was closed down, and he did not have to use a sleigh and horse any more to deliver mail to Yellowstone Park mail box, over the line, since he was at the nearest mail drop off point.
When I was tree planting here back in the 80's we were stuck up in the bush for a week or two at a time. Even if we had money, there was nothing to spend it on. We made a diving board that jutted out into a lake, a sauna, played hackey sack, and there was a lot of dating since the ratio was about 1 to 1. All of us were broke....but I never saw so much dating...even I got a date which lasted for a whole summer, and another one....then nothing...so I quit after five years. The company was called Simian Silviculture...a couple of guys used to catch horse flies and attach strings to them. They would buzz round in the breeze with bright coloured strings, looked like May Day....at the start of one season, only a week or two into there was only 1 'single' guy and 1 'single' girl....I still to this day do not understand why....was it because She wore buckskins, and a fur hat like the cops do in winter, and had a Malamute sled dog carry her trees around, and one day in jest she shoved H and he did a complete backflip and landed back on his feet, to the awe and amazement of the rest of us...he was from Kauii, Hawaii, a professional surfer, and who can knock a guy like that off of his feet? Apparently he challenged her to 'knock him off of his feet' and she took that literally...sheez... maybe she forgot her squirrel skin bikini at her cabin in the Yukon.
Oh yah and there was Dogmatic, the roofer, he planted only with a Maddock
It is only when things turn domestic does income become important, like who is going to watch the clothes at the pulbic laundry, who and when is SO or self going to the Sally Ann, who is going to dry the tent out after it floods, and who is going to stay up at night to watch for bears coming into the camp tent and make a mess on the table with the Rice Krispies?
Now who is going to be the one?
C'est moi? But I did not set up the shower in the camp dining tent....although it was a good idea, since there was an old toothless grizzly bear that visited during the day....really....coed shower in plain view of the dining table....this is tru | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/2/2009 1:32:29 PM | Kelley-1989,
I appreciate your acknowledgement that 'deserve' wasn't the best choice of word.
I would have phrased it like "pretty girls tend to attract high-income men" .. that keeps it neutral and, I agree: the market prefers marketable targets, even tho' that seems unfair.
I compensate by being a sweetheart. I am also an 'acquired taste', so only a good match revealed over time, through friendship, is of interest to me.
Best wishes,
Classified | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/2/2009 1:46:05 PM |
Let's be honest. Dating is all about income. CEO's don't date janitors. I went out with one woman who asked me "why don't you work overtime?" Another woman insisted I buy her a steak dinner on the first date.
DURRRR.
Any woman who ever says looks and money are not important to her is a liar. I am NOT saying all women are shallow gold diggers, but women look at physical looks and money as much as men do when it comes to selecting a mate.
The thing is that everyone has LEVELS of how much they look at said things. Perhaps the male or female is very shallow, and thus ever small imperfections, like a beauty mark will make them say "no" on someone. Then again they could care about looks just to a level that the person is clean, well-groomed, in some kind of a healthy shape, and dresses presentable.
Same deal with money. Do women care how much a guy makes? YES. Do they all ONLY want the guy who makes 6 figures? NO.
Most women I've seen only care about the income just in the standpoint of if this guy will or will not be a liability on their life. Men too. You think I'd want to marry some****ail waitress who's been out of work for months, lives with her parents, and has a kid? That sounds more like a liability than a benefit. We men make these judgments all the time, and women are entitled to do the same. I don't think a woman can expect a man to be a sole provider for them as a family anymore, but to expect a man who makes enough money to be able to date and down the road be a good partial income for a family...that's realistic in my book.
Quit acting surprised when a woman suddenly shows she cares about looks and income. It's natural, just as much as I tell women to quit acting surprised if they seem men care about looks and income. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/2/2009 6:11:20 PM | Thanks ClassifiedTMI. I often get criticized for being insensitive and I need to be more careful in how I word things. However, I don't believe in following the example of most people on POF with all their fell good lies to give people false hope. Lies probably make some of OPs and others feel better for a little while, but a couple of days later, they are just as miserable and they never got any beneficial answers to their questions.
Telling a plain faced big girl with three kids that she is beautiful and her kids are a blessing, that she needs to raise her standards because any real man will recognize how desirable she is, and that prince charming will find and rescue her, may make her feel better for a day, but those kind of lies are an injustice to her question and plea for help. I prefer to tell her the facts. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/2/2009 6:25:08 PM | No, dating is all about outcome. He she comes, there is an encounter with the other, as equal, and it is not the income, and when you leave after the date there is only the outcome....no generalizations can be inferred to be valid about dating and income (economics) since older women have more income, younger ones less income, poorer cultures less income, richer ones more income, oil field workers more income than day labourers in the same province,
Income only matters afterwards, just look at the film "Il Postino" about income, and relative abilities to support thyself and or others. Dating is about 'affection' and 'surprise' and or even 'astonishment' ....the best date is one in which you find yourself in 'astonishment' both at your self and the other. This type of encounter belongs to 'non-inferential' wisdom....income and support are forms of 'inferential wisdom' and do not count.....
A good date is like a thunderstorm after a prolonged drought, a thunderstorm that continues into the night, lots of fury, lots of thunder, lots of fresh pure rain, and the streets dance and are awash, and the fragrance of big sage and other ericaceous plantse en vigor the appetite....of many kinds, when you part you are in hunger, enthrallment, but not merely with the other but with the occasion,
chaocito
T? johannes the seducer | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 4:58:24 AM | I often get criticized for being insensitive and I need to be more careful in how I word things
That was nice of you to say that.
But than you said
Telling a plain faced big girl with three kids that she is beautiful and her kids are a blessing, that she needs to raise her standards because any real man will recognize how desirable she is, and that prince charming will find and rescue her, may make her feel better for a day, but those kind of lies are an injustice to her question and plea for help. I prefer to tell her the facts.
So,the plain faced girl, with three kids, should just jump off the bridge, with her kids, because she never going to find a nice men, she will have to settle for some dirt bag, because she isn't attractive, and has too much baggage?
These are the facts you talking about? Sorry, but it sounds very bad to me.
I agree about one thing. I would take a closer look at her case.
Is she on welfare for 12 years, not planning on getting a job? Does she going to school to better her and the kids life? Does her kids good kids? These are the things I would look at. Than again I neither rich, or good looking, so what do I deserve?
I, however am I happy,healthy guy, don't stress too much about money.
So,your studies are wrong, in my case.
Maybe she doesn't want anyone to rescue her, she really trying hard to raise her kids, works hard, does her best. I would find that "attractive".
Don't use studies to find yourself a men. Remember, as another poster said, rich guys can afford to get a new house, car, girlfriend, when they gets tired of the old one. Unless you don't mind being an arm candy
You might get married one day, have three kids, than get divorced.
So,you'll be the one with three kids. You might stay pretty, so you'll have better chance. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 1:17:07 PM |
Telling a plain faced big girl with three kids that she is beautiful and her kids are a blessing, that she needs to raise her standards because any real man will recognize how desirable she is, and that prince charming will find and rescue her, may make her feel better for a day, but those kind of lies are an injustice to her question and plea for help. I prefer to tell her the facts.
Just like women who say that a man's income, power and status does not matter. Same political correctness, same lie! | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 2:02:15 PM | So,the plain faced girl, with three kids, should just jump off the bridge, with her kids, because she never going to find a nice men
I think she'll find nice men, but they won't come packaged as David Beckham and make 6 figures a year. It can happen, but most of the time the insanely hot wealthy males will pass her up.
HOWEVER...she'll find plenty of decent nice men who would take a chance with her.
I think Kelley's big point is really aimed at both genders who seemingly end up alone all the time...chronically single...but yet they keep carrying the "I WILL NEVER SETTLE IN LIFE" moniker, thinking that an average joe or jane who might have a modest income and a kid or two is suddenly a step down.
I've said it to death that everyone is entitled to have standards, but only if those standards bring said person a good pool of eligible singles.
I also agree with Kelley's standpoint that one shouldn't sit there telling everyone to death they deserve the best of the best in life. That they are not entitled to a fashion model looking mate with money and such. This goes for both men and women. I think so many out there are chronically single because they look at the general populace and believe there is some hidden kingdom of perfect-looking people and that they deserve to walk among them and mate with them. I'm not telling anyone to pick someone they're not attracted to, but if their sense of attraction are a tiny percentile of people, most of whom wouldn't take said person...then they are only holding themselves back in life from finding love. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 2:44:39 PM | Kelley-
First of all, her you would hardly be lying by telling someone their kids are a blessing - I'm sure you're a blessing to your parents, and that wouldn't change if your parents re-entered the dating scene.
I think the most you could predict is a shrunken dating pool, but that doesn't have to equal lower quality men. Women who settle because they feel it's the best they can do would be, in my opinion, better off staying single and waiting for a truly high quality man to come along. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 3:15:34 PM | | Dating is all about income? You betcha! I will NEVER support another lazy man. If you are at least 30 years old, then you better have something to show for your life. And if you are in your 40s, and you have nothing solid to show for your life then dont come knocking at my door! If I work, then you have to work. Besides, men still make more money for the same job as women, and you all are still whining about paying a couple dollars for a meal for your date? | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 4:52:50 PM |
and you all are still whining about paying a couple dollars for a meal for your date?
Not me I use to be quite the little man whore on this site. many times I was the one being taken out and wined and dinned. When I was single I could give any of the women a run for their money when it came to a free dinner. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:06:26 PM | Kelley-1989
I often get criticized for being insensitive and I need to be more careful in how I word things.
It's not how you word things, really. It's the tone (which stems on how you really feel).
I don't believe in following the example of most people on POF with all their fell good lies to give people false hope. Lies probably make some of OPs and others feel better for a little while, but a couple of days later, they are just as miserable and they never got any beneficial answers to their questions.
I absolutely agree with you on that. An influence as to why some POFers do this, is because people checking out their profiles, judging them, can see their forum posts. You're "on camera", in a sense. I totally agree with disbanding from feel-good lies.
When dealing with potential extremes, I think one shouldn't tell someone "I think you're ugly, your standards are sickening low, and I feel sorry for your kids." If that rolls off one's tongue too easily, then I'd say they have some issues, big time. Honesty would easily be "Don't believe pity-party compliments from people who will tell anyone under the sun they're gorgeous... Looks do count, everyone's not gorgeous, otherwise you wouldn't have concerns, but the great news is we can always improve yourself... I would try working out, it will boost your self-esteem more than anything, thus raise your standards which could use some work so you don't get caught up in those binds... and would be a great example for your kids."
It does bug me when people actually think they're a BETTER person by literally telling lies, to feed their own feel-goodness. "No, you're beautiful!" no matter what. That so waters-down the term if everyone's beautiful, or even just everyone who needs comfort. Such folks believe any advice given to someone that they could use self-improvement, is as a sin. Ya don't have to be a rabid gym-teacher when ya do it, just an honest advice giver with a optimistic tone. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:40:24 PM |
Telling a plain faced big girl with three kids that she is beautiful and her kids are a blessing, that she needs to raise her standards because any real man will recognize how desirable she is, and that prince charming will find and rescue her, may make her feel better for a day, but those kind of lies are an injustice to her question and plea for help. I prefer to tell her the facts.
How ignorant can one get to assume that all men are looking for is a model off the cover of vogue. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:45:34 PM | Someone mentioned at the beginning of this thread that being a stay at home parent is much more difficult than working a full time job. Uh, calling b#llsh*t on that. And I would know, I have done both. I've also spent some time doing daycare and I can say that both my time as a drywall hanger and restaurant manager were much more difficult than my time as a stay at home dad and a daycare employee. Sounds like truthiness to me  | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:49:03 PM | Il Postino, the letter carrier!
Love is an act....why would a guy want anything more?
If U were letter carrier supporting a tiny famlia en Corsica, why would U not want more? and U were single, young?
Pablo Neuruda, who is no longer is living, may have been impressed. I still love to see Sophia Loren, from a long time ago....let young men discover, and inquire....
chaocito
jauncito | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 5/1/2009 11:20:44 PM | I am sooooo tired of hearing men say this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No so sorry guy it's about you, your personality, your creativity, your style, your humor, your ability to be the bigger person when needed.....etc. You know I think you know what it is all about but your, just chicken!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 5/2/2009 12:43:20 AM | | Well then let me tell you fools spouting off about income being directly related to your ability to get laid. There is no direct corelation between **** and paycheck. Sorry if this emasculates you fairies riding the gravy train. Unless you have discovered a way to fool Darwin your needle****will be the same size no matter how big your SUV happens to be. | |
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Romny
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Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 349 | |
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 5/2/2009 1:38:19 AM | Let's get real folks,
If a steak dinner is gonna leave you without enough to cover rent...THEN MAYBE you shouldn't be dating anyone besides cousins and aunties....
AND
If you can't handle being asked why you DON'T make more money when obviously an income increase is available to you (ie 'overtime')...then don't talk to nesting women... Women do not want to match up with deadbeats....
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I'm not sure I understand the point in your post but I'll try to!
