| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:29:37 PM | There's a certain type of woman to whom status and money are everything. Those who feel so entitled generally look the part. Problem is, these are often the high-maintenance hotties that most guys drool over. Unfortunately, the men who have to have these women just don't seem to smart enough to realize that they're being used, or they figure it's worth it to have landed such a trophy. Naturally, she's superficial, and dumps him as soon as the money runs out, or she spots a better deal. Then, he comes here, whining about gold-diggers. Best to not play in that league unless you can truly afford it.
I think that employment and some stability are important to most women, but usually because they don't want to be stuck with a free-loading loser. Having been married to someone who never could pull his weight financially was a huge strain, and I don't want to do it again. If my man loses his job however, that' s no biggie, because I know he'll find another one, and if it's minimum wage, I really don't care.
If I look at myself and my female friends, actual amount of money made is pretty far down on the list of priorities. Maybe it's partly that my friends are all successful career women with their own money, and guys who are compatible with them are generally no slouches when it comes to their own careers. But much, much more important to all of us is that a man treat us well, that he has honesty, integrity and good family values.
If you truly believe that the women you want are attracted to your money, chances are, you're flaunting it as part of your "advertising." If you're doing that, don't be surprised if you attract gold-diggers. Personally, if I had money, I'd hate to think that someone only liked me because of that. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/14/2009 1:35:06 PM | | OP all you have to do is when she asks for the steak dinner ask her " we're F_ _ KING later right? " usually makes them decide on water and a yogurt real fast. | |
|
| |
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:45:06 AM | Huh?
Seriously, huh?
I work full time AND am the sole provider for my daughter & I - I make my own money and take care of my own bills & our living expenses. I DO NOT need a man to pay my way.
I could care less how much money a man makes and I would not have an issue dating a man who makes less money then me.
As far as the women who asked you why you don't work overtime ~ she was an idiot. As for the women who wanted a steak - what the heck is wrong with that? Unless you had brought her to Burger King or McDonald's 
** Not all people are centered around the mighty $ | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:20:56 AM | Perhaps I am slower than most. But I fail to see the logic of this discussion.
Why is dating instantly relegated to dollar amount? If you are fretting over the couple hundred bucks spent on the evening rather than the important things like....oh I don't know...."do I like this girl? Would I like to see her again? What do I like about her? Was there a quirk that I missed during dinner/conversation that might impact me later?" Et cetera...
No, you gents are NOT required to take her to Morton's on the first date. What about Social night at the museum? You pay a couple bucks to get in, they serve hors d'oeuvres and wine. See? Cheap, semi quiet enough to talk. But I thought the goal of the evening is to make her comfortable enough to open up to you so that the two of you can find out if the ensuing second date should take place. If she offers to pay her half, let her - some don't want to relinquish that piece of personal space. Yes, I said "personal space". Finance is exactly that, personal.
For the lot of you who cry "but I paid $10.99 for her fancy fish and chips platter and wanna get laid later"...well, how about a singles bar? The drinks are cheap, most women are easy, and plenty of STDs to go around? (J/K)
But seriously, is it worthwhile to spend a few bucks to give yourself an opportunity to see if thiss person click with you later on? Think of it this way, if it doesn't work out, you will have wasted money on her - but isn't that SO much better than having wasted time on her? Money you can make, time you can't recover!!!
Just a thought... | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:54:48 AM | Alright... I'm not going to read through 16 pages for this topic but I will say this: I would gladly date any woman I find physically and psychologically attractive regardless of their income. I don't care if they work at McDonalds or if they are a rich lawyer. Regardless of whether or not I am at my current income, lose my job or if I win the lottery tomorrow, it makes no difference to me.
However, I do feel that there are a lot of women who do judge me based on my income, which I don't feel is right either. If these women are looking for a certain lifestyle, they should work for it themselves and earn it. I am content with my current lifestyle and they should be content with their own. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:19:58 PM | Well said, ron. And guys who are in an upper income bracket should not attempt to get involved with women who aren't just so they can rag on them.
If they miss the group ego masturbation of their Fraternity days, then then should look up some of their brothers and rent a room. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:44:24 PM |
Drusurfer06: Love does not cost a thing for Women, however, for Men it does.
So what has it "cost" you in your 21 yrs of age? Please enlighten us on your statement. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:19:32 PM |
Love does not cost a thing for women, however, for men it does
Open microwave & put in bag. Dump pop corn in a bowl. Sit in a favorite chair and get ready for the show...
Please do explain the cost ratio between men/women.
An itemized list would be great!
I'll just sit here and wait...
| |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:00:02 PM | I find this thread interesting... I have been experiencing these situations in an odd way.
I discoverd two main issues.
I make good money. We meet, I chose the place and since I chose, I fully expected to pay. Simply put, I never go somewhere that I cannot afford. The place I chose was an upper class restaurant. I chose that place simply because I had not gone out in a nice restaurant in a long time and I figured if I would not be attracted to the man, I would at least enjoy a good meal in one of my favourite restaurants and maybe hit a night club and whether he accompanied me or not was not an issue.
Anyway... He showed up and we had a great time. The check came and without hesitation the server gave the check in the leather folder to my date!
I went to get the addition and he put his hand over the leather folder and said it was his treat.
I smiled... but inside I just was really annoyed. I AM THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED the place. I expressedly told him I fully expected to pay. He would hear none of it.
I then insisted on giving the tip...
Great, I thought, why do men do this?
I asked him to come with me to a club I was going to. Without hesitation he said YES!!!
I told him I had one condition... I was paying for the entrance fee and the drinks. He was ok with that.
On an other date, I was really pressed for time. So, I opted for a cup of good coffee to one of my favourite places to go. I was first in line and this time told the clerk that I was paying for both of us.
By doing this simple act, I apparently embarrassed the date I was with. I simply explained that I was the one that had suggested the place and that I was just being courteous. Needless to say, the mini date did not go well.
I am confused. I DO NOT NEED a man to pay for me. I make good money and I am somewhat successful. Why does this not show through?
I always found dating to be very very difficult to begin with...
Anyway... just musing...
 | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:12:27 PM | | I'd have to disagree based on expectations. It is not uncommon for anyone who has been dating for a while and earns income to pay on dates. Even the more traditional dates. IME younger women want to be taken care of and expect to have there dates pay on average. Once you've gone through different relationships jobs and restaurants it doesn't seem to be the most important thing. Getting with someone you enjoy spending time with and can relate to seems to be most important. While I don't disagree that having dual or more income makes things easier. I'd much rather take a date I really like then one focused on things other than us. Income purchases time doing things. How that time is spent where and with who can make all the difference. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:06:35 PM | The real question is - why do women want their cake and be able to eat it too?
For 6000+ years men made all the money and did all the providing, the woman either did not work, or worked a low paying job. Now in 2009, in the US, tons and tons of women have more or make more money than a lot of men. But they still want to marry up or marry a guy that has a lot of money. Why is that?
Men didn't care how much money a woman had back in 1920, so why do women in 2009 worry so much about how much money a guy has? You can't use the lame kid excuse I've seen thrown around, assuming the guy at least works 40+ hours a week doing "something", the two incomes combined should be enough. Assuming you're not an overly materialistic woman. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:22:52 PM | Ok... I'll play...
You can't use the lame kid excuse I've seen thrown around, assuming the guy at least works 40+ hours a week doing "something", the two incomes combined should be enough. Assuming you're not an overly materialistic woman.
This may sound mean to some but here it is.
In my experience, if I meet someone that makes less money than me, chances are they are not as educated, nor how can I say in as a polite way as possible... They are not at all on the same wave length from an intellectual point of view.
I need a man that has a brain and really really gets abstract thinking. I have a mathematical and computer ingeneering background. Hence, I really appreciate a man with muscles but well... once we get to talking, I get bored. (I realize that there are muscled men out there with a brain... I am just trying to get my point across.)
So... I prefer to mingle with men that are in the same strata I guess. I have found that these men that really really intrest me are a rare find.
Ok... hoping off the soap box...
| |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:00:57 AM | annastasia I've seen that reason for the income requirement thrown around before by women, but it just doesn't hold water. How do you go about it exactly? So if you make 60k and you find out he makes 45k you automatically say no if he asks you out or stop dating him? That's a horrible way to go about finding a good partner. If matching incomes are what make a relationship successful, why was the divorce rate much lower when women made no money and men made all the money?
Education does not guarantee a high income unless it's in the doctor/lawyer realm, and a good income does not guarantee a high IQ. There are some career paths that do take someone with brains but they don't even pay as much as a career that has no degree requirement. I live in West Virginia and coal miners can make more than a registered nurse, which do you think took more education? Even so, is one guaranteed to be smarter than the other? If you're using income as a gauge, they'd be about the same, no?
I give you props for trying and playing but I've debated many women on this issue, and I never lose ;)
| |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:19:56 AM | | I've said it countless times and people may not want to accept it but the fact is that the male and female of our species have very different requirements for a potential mate. Men naturally want young and pretty for healthy offspring...and superficial reasons like...well...young and pretty just tastes better... and women naturally want security for said offspring...and for superficial reasons like improved social stature. I'm looking forward to the day when we get past our natural tendencies or at least acknowledge their strong influence. Right now, most people are in a serious state of denial. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/17/2009 12:29:51 PM | I understand your point realitybites78.
By the by, I do not expect to win or lose... We can just agree to disagree.
Of course, I do not base the income on intelligence but in my experience, I found that I had nothing in common with someone who never went to university, never read books about physics or does not see the beauty behind Einstein's theory of relativity nor does not see the beauty of fractals... etc... etc...
By ricochet, a good man that has a good trade can talk to me about his work until the cows come home and I will be bored ...
I am not belittling the tradesman.... My father, now retired, was a tradesman a steamfitter and pipefitter. He was damned good at it. Actually, he was better than the white hats. He did not have a chance to go at university and he fought tooth and nail that I become an engineer. ( I am not an engineer by the way but I do teach mathematics, physics and computer science in high school. )
Anyway... I am no better than anyone on here.
Like I said, in my experience, I find I have a better chance of matching by meeting men that have gone to university in the sciences and or engineering section. It does not matter if I make more money than them. It all has to do with intellectual compatibility.
I know... I am an odd duck... I am fully aware of that.
Believe me, I tried to date men that had no higher than a high school diploma. I simply get bored. It is like we have nothing to talk about.
I do not mean to offend... I really do not. I am merely putting a "constat" on the table.
I am French and I do not know the English equivalent to "constat".
Anyway... I could add, but it may be off topic.
So, carry on posters.
| |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/17/2009 12:55:15 PM |
why was the divorce rate much lower when women made no money and men made all the money?
Because women had to be with a man for economic survival. Because divorce was a horrible social stigma. Even women who were widowed often remarried simply as a matter of economic necessity.
Even now, I often encounter men out cattin' around, looking for a 'side piece" because their marriage is "loveless" but they "can't afford" to terminate said marriage.
Why do women look to marry "up" or marry money? Because that is what they were taught to do. I think we ARE beginning to come to a place where girls will be taught to rely on themselves to make their own money, rather than depending on marriage for financial betterment. But until we get to where ALL the moms and grandmas that were schooled to look for "good providers" first and foremost when choosing a life partner are dead and gone, remnants of that old system will be around to cause trouble.
Cindy O | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:20:58 PM | | In my opinion, it depends what kind of woman your dating. If she's rich and loaded, hell she might offer to pay for dinner. On the other hand if she happens to be some goldigging single mommy struggling to make ends meet, then don't be surprised if she wants to go eat at some fine dining restaurant..lol | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/19/2009 5:01:17 AM | You're obviously not making good choices in the women you are dating. You really shouldn't categorize us all based on a couple of bad experiences.
gee.....seems thats what women do to men a lot on here | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/19/2009 7:18:42 AM | It's true! Like I tell my co workers, don't think a teacher will date a janitor. What it boils down to is if something happens at work teacher won't have your back.
If janitors go on strike teachers won't have our back cause they are "educators". However according to a contract if teachers strike we have to go with them. That's bull! | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:58:07 AM |
It's true! Like I tell my co workers, don't think a teacher will date a janitor. What it boils down to is if something happens at work teacher won't have your back.
If janitors go on strike teachers won't have our back cause they are "educators". However according to a contract if teachers strike we have to go with them. That's bull!
This may be off topic... I apologize in advance...
We seem to have animosity against teachers... Interesting...
I am a high school teacher and I need to make you notice that I am Canadian.
In my neck of the woods we have never crossed picket lines of our support staff.
In fact, we make sure they are looked after on the front lines. We bring them donuts and coffee AT OUR EXPENSE and they too do the same. On birthdays and social holidays none of them are ignored. (support staff = custodians, secretaries, nurses...etc.)
Anyway... I have dated all kinds of men from all kinds of different backgrounds. In fact, I married a man that barely had a high school diploma... Anyway...
I just stated that I have found that I have more in common with people that have a love of the abstact thinking. What is soooooo wrong with that pray tell.
 | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/19/2009 12:24:02 PM | | As a shorter than average male I have found that dating is all about income and status...Especially being in the Los Angeles/Hollywood area. I once heard a dating expert say, "A short man is as tall as the wallet he stands on. The bigger the wallet the taller he is." This is why many men in Hollywood get women who are taller. It's all about money. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/19/2009 12:33:40 PM | Why do men with no money constantly start these threads? LOL
Truthfully, there is a 10 to 1 ratio of men to women on this site.
Why? Some of these men don't know how to treat a woman.
Some of these men dont know how to treat a woman AND don't
have any disposable income.
Then they get mad at the women
and think all women are "gold diggers" or some crap.
This is because they have no gold. They feel bad about it.
Just be honest, fellas, and stop the nonsense and admit
you have no money to treat a woman they way she
deserves. Start there and maybe you will attract women
who will see you for your heart, assuming you have a kind one.
There are plenty of no cost, low cost ways to date/court a woman.
You can save the pay for dates on special occassions.
I'm bored with dinners and movies anyway. Be creative.
Be romantic. Be sincere. Determine ways you can make your
love interest smile.
Didn't you hear the saying, "I Can Do Bad All By Myself?"
| |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/19/2009 1:24:20 PM | One Philosopher,
Well balanced and well communicated post. I REALLY hope all the men on plenty of fish read it. Many haven't a clue and need to get one real fast. The ratio of men to women is 10 to1. They have to learn fast what they aren't doing right with regard to the way they view women, treat women, etc. | |
|
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 9/19/2009 1:27:42 PM | Annasthasia,
Men who have more femine energy will be attracted to your taking the lead and paying for what have you. He will respect you for how you think but dont expect him to cherish you.
Men who are masculine energy will want a woman he can cherish and will want to pay.
This could be why they are reacting the way they have. | |
|
Home
login 
