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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 2:29:53 PM | indianaman;
Huh? Women are passive? Give me a break! If you checked dating services and personals ads ratios, statistics, I'm sure you'd find just as many women, if not more than, as men post ads and register for dating services. I usually have found more women when I've gone out, but now i am an *older woman* it seems I am more eligible online than when I was just a regular female... Go figure! But if anyone, male or female, takes a passive approach to dating, you will have a long wait-fish aren't *caught*-read *dated* that way...So far I have met two men from POF, there are others I like, but breaking through the first meeting scenario seems to be something of a bugaboo...Anyway, just MHO, YMMD...
floridian407/marta | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 2:34:32 PM | msg 77
he was the most frugal man I've ever met,
do you truly mean FRUGAL, or are we actually talking CHEAP & STINGY??
One valid way to accumulate wealth IS to save, not spend it...but if you are living in a tent and eating oatmeal 3 times a day while you have a couple million in the bank is a little extreme...
Cindy O | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 2:50:38 PM | | Msg 1 - You just look rich. You may be attracting the wrong kind of women. Maybe try changing your picture. Loosen up...t-shirt...flip-flops...holes in your jeans. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 3:09:29 PM | | To ladyc4, msg 78: You deleted the end of that sentence from my post. The complete sentence was: "I have dated women with kids but it always seemed that the kids got higher priority than me, which is great for the kids but doesn't help me any." What I meant was, if a woman is a good mother, more power to her, the world needs more good parents. But if a woman keeps cancelling dates because of her kids, is it selfish of me to say "what's in this for me?" It's hard enough winning a woman over when you're not an olympic athlete with a million dollars in the bank, but if you date a woman with kids you have also have to win over the kids or it's "no sale". | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 3:14:13 PM | | To Floridian 407, msg 79: I was a member of Great Expectations video dating. One day I counted the male & female videos and the ratio was almost exactly 2:1. Maybe in your age group/locale there are more women than men, but in my age group there are more men than women. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 3:59:59 PM | When a ladies profile says her kids come first, it is a turn off to me also. I would hope that she loves and cares for her children very much. But to come right out and say that no matter who you are, you will never be equal to my children makes me feel that she is just looking for someone to fix some leaky faucets and clean the rain gutters. And possibly looking to help you learn more about real estate.......the hard way.
My income is considered low, yet I live better than most people. If somebody doesn't like my situation, they are not for me. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 4:11:35 PM | I think honest simple communication before anything happens
would solve a lot of confusion and bad feelings about income.
If they ask you what you do and what you own
and your answer or lack of answer does not satisfy them.
That should tell you something.
It should also tell you something if they ask those type of questions in the first place. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 4:32:51 PM | ladyc4 & Floridian407, I'm with you! My last relationship, one I thought would last, was with a man who lived in a mountain shack--cabin is too grandiose for that structure--with no running water, an open-air outhouse (try that in winter!) and with 2 dogs and about 50 mostly feral cats running around. He made under 10K a year, we lived 10 hours apart, I did most of the traveling because my schedule was more flexible and we managed to spend about 50% of our time together, being deliriously happy for the 1st 2 years. Then he came into the 1st installment of a family trust, which I did not know about when we met and fell in love.
Things sure went downhill after that. All I ever asked for was for him to cover my transportation costs after he got the money, because I'm not rich either, and I had made financial sacrifices by choosing to spend so much time with him rather than on my own business interests. In the next six months he paid off credit card bills for a couple of his friends, bought musical instruments for everybody who said "hey, I like music", treated a bunch of his local friends to road trips, etc., spent thousands & thousands on entertainment--concerts, CDs, DVDs, etc--and had the nerve to ask for receipts for the $75 in gas on my last trip. Instead of moving in together, which had been the plan, we broke up when he decided it was my fault he'd gone through almost 200k in less than six months and now had to wait 8 years until he got the remaining millions. Told his mom (her family trust) that now that he had $$$ he thought he could find someone better. Bless her, she knew I didn't care about the money and told him that if he broke up with me his life would be shorter, colder, and poorer. She's right.
This was my second experience with men with significant $$ and I don't plan for there to be any others--there wouldn't have been a 2nd is I'd known about the trust fund to begin with. I am neither a golddigger nor some rich man's chattel. My experience with men with money has not been favorable.
I'll take a guy with empty pockets and a full heart any day. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 4:42:49 PM |
My choosing not to have kids means more resources for your kid
More members from the US are joining every day; if you give up this easy, you appear to not want to put much effort into finding someone. As for overpopulation, there’s a lot of the world left that isn’t populated yet or not populated heavily yet; I think we have room for a few more kids…especially as people die every day - making room for new ones.
I feel it would be cruel to pass my genetic flaws onto a child
I doubt you’ll hear much argument about this ;)
It don't consider myself good parent material, so why have a kid that I can't give my all to as a father. There are way too many unwanted children in the world as it is. I'll be 46 next month, I can't imagine paying for a kid's college education when I'm in my sixties.
If you feel you’re not good parent material, then it’s a good decision not to have any biological children. But if it’s only based on how much it costs to raise them, that falls under a selfish excuse to me; kids can get scholarships; they can work to pay their tuition, etc. A child is the most precious gift one can be blessed with, and they give back way more than what it costs to raise them monetarily. I feel that if a person isn’t willing to make the sacrifices required to have a child (who really needs a new car every year or the $400,000 house?) then they shouldn’t have children, because if they aren’t willing to spend to support their basic necessities, they sure won’t be willing to emotionally support them. While children are a higher priority, especially when they’re younger, that doesn’t mean their parent can’t also love their partner just as much as they do their children. If that was the case, biological parents would be in big trouble. There’s a balance between when the child and when the partner comes first. If the partners don’t also work on their relationship, one day when the kids grow up and are on their own, the partners will have grown apart because they neglected their relationship. It’s all balance and effort…and it’s all rewarding.
But if a woman keeps cancelling dates because of her kids, is it selfish of me to say "what's in this for me?" It's hard enough winning a woman over when you're not an olympic athlete with a million dollars in the bank, but if you date a woman with kids you have also have to win over the kids or it's "no sale".
It all depends on why the dates got canceled; there are times when there simply is no other choice, and I’d much prefer a parent who was concerned about their child than one who wasn’t. Also, there are many men who aren’t Olympic athletes and millionaires who have a good relationship with a woman. There are also men who have dated and married a woman with children, and the children never warmed up to him. It’s all in one’s attitude. We each have to be happy with our self before we can be happy with someone else…perhaps, if you actually want a relationship, you need to work more on yourself before you date any prospective women. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 5:08:32 PM | In the past week I've had two promising exchanges here on PoF suddenly turn dead silent once the subject of income came up. Very interesting...
What's especially interesting is
- I USED to have a pretty good income (over $70 K)
- then the company I worked for went belly up, and the skills I had turned out to be most relevant to the products that company made so replacing the income was, shall we say, problematic.
- SO, I embarked on an aggressive plan to retrain myself so I could get that level of income back.
- That plan is approaching completion (2-3 months).
But evidently none of that matters. The deciding factor apparently is, "how much did you bank last week?"
I suppose I can understand the reaction - but don't expect me to be impressed. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:05:01 PM | | To prolibertate: Choosing not to have children is not selfish. It's a personal choice. Many people have children for selfish reasons (to live vicariously through their children, to pass on their "superior" genes, to have someone to take care of them when they get old, etc.) See the nokidding .org website for more about this. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:07:09 PM | | Sorry, in my last post I meant to say "many people have children for selfish reasons" not "several reasons. You can add to those reasons people who have children because they give into pressure from their parents who want grandchildren. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:12:34 PM | I realize I did not quote the whole phrase, because the "it doesn't help me any" sounded so whiny, I felt bad for you. I
really think you need to step back and take a long hard look at yourself, because whether you mean to or not, you are coming across as incredibly selfcentered, and that,sir, is your core problem-not your income level or looks/fitness. I'm NOT saying this to be mean, I'm just giving you my honest opinion.
Cindy O | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:21:46 PM | Is it all about income NO! to our face and yes from her "Dear " and whitered mothers Mouth and into her heart. Women won't openly Admitt These things why? It's takes away from there Vail just like her Sexual Resume, She will never give the real number. 2 words Community Property. Look it up | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:25:22 PM | | In the 60,s or even 70,s U never really heard of money playing a important part in dating. But as time has gone on, It really does appear dating is all about income !! The only thing that has not changed is the oldest proffesion in the world, So even wayyyyyyyyyy back then there was still money in exchange for a persons company. Someone had the hindsite to be way ahead of there time !! I really did try to tell the grocery store I had no money But i am living on love !! | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:31:19 PM | Ofcourse, it's not all about income!You are just meeting the type of women that are golddiggers.If they are so concerned about money, why don't they earn it themselves??? You know what?The next time a woman says or asks you that, why don't you ask her what she is in life and how much she earns.That would put her in her place.
Jeez....I hate parasitic women, not sure why or how men stand them!!!!!Those are the type of women who cannot stand on their two little feet and demand everything from men.They do not deserve you, so look for someone better.Goodluck!
~*Flavia*~ | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:35:47 PM | | Todays man makes his money and has it tucked aways were you can't find it "James Brown I'ts a mans world" love it , anyhow. Women needs have rised MAC Make Up , Silly Pompodra hair cuts..Cost money "plastic Surgury" every women dream (And they Come true) cost money. Our money Hard money | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:40:08 PM | It's very naive for anyone to think that the opinions I express here reflect my behavior on dates. When I go out with a woman I'm very upbeat, positive, cheerful and talk about a variety of subjects, neither dominating the conversation nor being non-responsive when the woman talks; I consider myself an excellent listener. I have been out with a variety of women from a professional cheerleader to a 300 lb. woman with a huge scar on her neck to a thalidomide woman, and every type in between, so you can't say I only judge a woman by her looks. I never discuss sex unless the woman brings up the topic first. Women say men never call them after a date but I always do (unless the date was obviously a total fiasco for both of us). If I'm attracted to the woman or even if I just feel neutral about her, I'm willing to give the woman the benefit of a doubt and call her for a second date, because I feel first impressions are only 50% accurate at best. I guess women think they can size up a man on the first date because if the fireworks aren't immediate they decide "this guy isn't my souldmate" and doesn't deserve a first. I feel that I'm being fair by asking a woman for a second date even if it wasn't "love at first sight" for me but I guess from a woman's point of view my policy looks like desperation.
I've found that most women who say at the end of the first date "please call me, I'd like to see you again" are liars because I call them and they either play phone tag or tell me they're "seeing someone else." After I buy a woman dinner I certainly don't expect her to have sex with me, but I don't think it's too much to ask for a woman to return my phone calls and giving me an honest answer instead of "I'm busy this week, call me again next week." So I take those words at face value and call the woman the following week and she finally admits she never wanted a second. So she could have saved us both a lot of time and aggravation by being honest at the end of the first date, or at least during the phone call after the first date. Women who who indulge in evasion rather than honesty think they're "letting the man down easy" are really just letting themselves down easy because they want to avoid a confrontation. No one likes to be left hanging when a simple "no, I don't want to see you again" lets both parties move on and make other plans. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:41:04 PM | Ummmmm ok.. the last guy I dated from online talked constantly about how much money he has and voiced his concern many times that he is worried a woman only wants him for his money. Yes he had a nice house, an expensive car, etc.....
He paid for the first date, dinner and a movie. The second date, he paid for dinner and I paid for the movie. The rest of our dates didn't require money. OK well, he rented a few dvds and bought me tea at Tim Hortons.
We talked several times about how important a pre-nup is to him. I finally told him that if it was such a concern of his then he should stop talking about all this money he has.... I also informed him that I make more than he does...lmao. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:46:46 PM | | Let me refrais my self dont talk about it be about it .I like the old "I'm hung like a horse" when you start the**** she goes away. I am a Gentelman a nice guy not so nice that I wont pull your hair or a couple of smack (Enough said on that). Be your self thats all | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:53:00 PM | To ladyc4: You think I'm "selfcentered"? I thought relationships were supposed to be 50-50. Am I supposed to date a woman with kids who gives me nothing just for the priviledge of providing her with uncompensated fulfillment of her and her child's needs. Would you date a man who makes you wash his car, clean his house and cook his meals but kept cancelling your dates?
One woman with a kid I dated cancelled our date at the last minute, not because the child had an emergency, but because she decided to take the kid horse back riding. Then she had the audacity to have her sister leave a message on my answering machine that I was supposed to call the sister back to get a reprimand that somehow it was my fault. Of course I didn't call the sister back for my "reprimand". If the woman didn't have the guts to call me herself and had to have her I wanted no further communications from her or her sister. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:53:09 PM | | You can't say that men care about looks than women do. On two occasions the women looked me over and walked out on the date | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:03:07 PM | A good date leads to in cumming.
Ok. Sorry. Ok, not really. 1. Your wallet outshines you. 2. You outshine your date. If 2, be glad to know early on. Move on. Money only hurts to have if you spend it like a fool. If others only want it, so. Buy a blow job, or move on. It is that simple. There will always be people you think ill of. No amount of threads will change it. Take a moment. Think of the ugly guy with NO money. In fairness, then think of the good lookin guy with loads of it. Glass half empty, half drank kinda thing. Oh. Sorry. Not good with cliches.
BUT. I just saw a pic of a playmate today getting ate out by a old, bald, fat dude that looked like her grandpappy. Victoria Silvstedt (I just slaughtered her name probably, sorry) Um. She doesn't need money. There's something else going on. Ok, maybe she is GREEDY (all caps), or, there's something else that's subjective going on. Dunno. Different peeps look, or react to different things. You'll wind up with a gun in your mouth wanting those who don't think and react as you, to do as you do. Trust me. I battle it daily. That ugly girl that may like you today, you might like tomorrow... That is, unless you only look at looks. Just as women look at wallets...... Personally, my taste has already changed dramatically this year. I'm still trying to figure it out. Every **** you meet, is a women to keep in mind. But only as a reference to know what you really want. Most of us don't know what we really want until we are faced with what we don't want.
If women only want money, it shouldn't be a concern if you make yourself more expensive than that. Actually. The way I look at it is, GREAT!! ALL I have to do is get rich?!!! Cool. Beats doing my nails, buyin hair pills, working out, being funny, smart, nice, knowing how to eat ****, confident, polite, having manners, good posture, not doing this, not doing that etc. KNowing how to fix the toaster, tv, vcr, car, build a house, put the seat down, not get her preggers, handing over the remote, putting up with her parents, having kids, brushing teeth, lying only when it flatters her, lying when it doesn't flatter you, ignoring breast that come as a side order to the meal you bought. I can go on. I have to pee though. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:27:16 PM | | My previous girlfriend of almost 3 years made a lot more money than I do. She's a lawyer and is a business law professor at a prominant Canadian university. I'm not poor. I own a small courier company but she makes about ten times what I do a year. She is also over ten years older than I. We had a lot of issues and money was one of them in the begining. I got over it in time but I still paid almost always when we went to dinner or movies etc... When we went on vacation we would only go places I could afford and we would split the cost. We never had a single fight the whole time we were together till the end. Not even a raised voice. I think thing can work out if there is more than someone looking for a meal ticket. Our relationship was based on mutual interests and ideas. I would date a woman who makes more, less or no money if we had something to build upon. | |
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