| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:40:21 AM | I too have always felt compelled to pay...especially for the first date, but also the majority of get togethers afterword...then again, until recently when I went back to school to pursue another degree/career I've historically earned more than women I've dated, and as the male have found that I was more often than not doing the asking...and according to social etiquette, if you ask (ie invite) someone out, you are should be prepared to pay (whether male or female...IMHO). I have certainly been suprised to have been "invited" by women to weddings or events or dinners by women (women I'm already dating) and found out that they don't plan to or have everything covered...bit of a double standard.
A clue to women who are in this very typical/historically conventional type of dating arrangement...even if it isn't looked for, and even if it isn't accepted, reach for your wallet and sincerely offer once in a while...it makes a difference.
As one who's recently become a "poor" student again at mid life and living out of savings for now, the funny thing is I've ended up dating a woman who earns more than I ever came close to, and she won't hear of me paying for anything when we go out...but I do try/offer. It is wierd. We had dinner at a local bar the other night, and the female bartender actually asked her why she was paying...trying to make a joke of it, but you could tell she felt awkward about it after asking...My date made a fairly witty comment to difuse the tension w/o getting into detail (which really, who cares?)...but I have to admit it just feels weird. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:46:36 AM | | When the woman offers to pay for the date, I take it to mean she is going to demand sex later, so I don't object. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 5:41:26 PM | I think men should pay,........ and I think in return a woman should cook them a nice dinner at some point........I think that 'Suddenly's' post's make me feel quite sick, all she is saying is what she thinks men wan't to hear. very tactical on her part.  | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 5:55:34 PM | prudance
I'm sorry that you seem to think I have an ulterior motive , I dont'. I think for myself, not for how people want me to think.
I am sincere when I say I personally think it should be a 50 - 50 situation, later in the relationship then cool...let him or her pay for what they want,but in the beginning, I dont' understand why we would expect a complete stranger to buy us anything.
Please dont' make assumptions about me, you dont' know me, I'm actually a very nice person. | |
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iris37
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Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 181 | |
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:49:46 PM | Prudence I'm with you.....I like it when a man pays its romantic and shows chivalry...although having said that I'm not a woman that would date a man more than once or twice if I knew i was not into him....I think a home cooked meal after a couple of dates is a very nice gesture.....
There are some woman that are just out for what they can get...this I know....men and woman have to be more selective who they choose to spend thier time with.... | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:39:08 PM |
There are some woman that are just out for what they can get...this I know....men and woman have to be more selective who they choose to spend thier time with....
This actually reminds me of an experience i had shortly after becoming single. Let's just say, I agree and this one saw me coming a mile away. LOL.
I went out with a musician friend of mine to a bar we like at a college town. I sometimes wear T-shirts with "colorful' messages. Upon entering the bar, we spotted a couple empty seats at the bar and walked over to them, not noticing the two pretty ladies that were in the seats next to the vacant ones. One took notice of my shirt and made a comment. I have a sense of humor, so I made the best of it and turned it into a comical moment. It did get a laugh from the ladies and a conversation broke out. Somehow, we got into the topic of age and I made a deal that if either of them were any older than 24, I'd buy them both a drink. It was a college town afterall. LOL. They were both over 24 so I asked what they were drinking. This is when the flirting began.
They told me to take a guess at what they would enjoy and surprise them. I looked them over and said that the one (that I was interested in) looked like a girl that enjoyed getting rowdy and I figured she would like an Alabama Slammer. The other lady looked a bit more conservative and laid back so I ordered her a white wine spritzer. They both appeared impressed.
To make a long story short, I managed to get a lot of attention from the girl I took an interest in and I bought the drinks for both her and her friend all night. I introduced them to several shooters that I enjoy and we had a good time. At one point, the girl I was paying attention to stated that she wanted to hear some music and made some "adult" requests, so I played them and she danced. I can't dance very well, so I say she danced because I was mainly in awe with the things she was doing.
Anyway, the night was closing and I knew.....KNEW....that I would at least get her number. Then, just before last call.............her husband walked in. LMAO.
I turn to my buddy and say, "Can you believe this?" At which point he says, "Didn't you notice her finger?"
"No!!! Where was my wingman in all of this?"
"I thought you were just being nice."
"I was, but I wouldn't have been a hundred and thirty dollars nice if I'd known."
We both laughed about it and chalked it up as a fun night and left. I still blame him though. LOL. He should have known that I was fresh to the dating pool and might neglect to notice even the obvious. LOL.
Like I said. She saw me coming a mile away. There's no doubt in my mind, but I didn't and wouldn't hold any poor opinions of her for it. I know that game is played and I do think it's a little inappropriate, but us guys have got to learn a few hard lessons once in awhile.
Trust me. I'm a lot more observant now and a little more on the look out for this particular little game.
Still, good memories. It's all what you make of it.  | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:53:03 PM | | I have paid for most of the dates that I go out on, just to prove to the guy that I'm not out for his money. Eventually, I end up having to end the relationship because I go broke trying to pay for everything! | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:40:57 PM |
"why don't you work overtime?"
Because I have a life.
Another woman insisted I buy her a steak dinner on the first date.
That's when you say "huh?!? I'm sorry this obviously isn't going to work.
You seem to be picking up some real loosers, learn to walk away. Offer to pay for dates, if after 2-3, she doesn't VOLUNTEER to chip in, don't bother calling her again. You don't want someone who stands by letting you do more than your fair share.
Sidenote: Just broke up with a girl yesterday because she told me the last date we had that she was dating me because I had a good job. I didn't want someone who wasn't going to look past the surface. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:26:25 PM | Myself, I don't care what a woman makes or owns but the women
seem to usually care what I make or own and when they find out
it don't meet their unrealistic expectations, they start to treat me
differently. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:21:32 PM | | I am screwed if the woman is looking for a man who is financially stable. I am a ex-Marine now going through school trying to get a degree so I can afford my own place and live happily with the things I can buy. It seems to me, my love will have to be placed on material things. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:05:39 PM | Wow PhysicsGuy...dating you because you had a good job? and she admitted it? ouch. that's a definate 'kick to the kerb' candidate.
I look for women who know how to enjoy themselves without EXPECTING the 5 star restaurants and jewellery etc... That way we can connect on a human level, enjoying and sharing the simple things... and from time to time when I can afford the occasional treat, it's shared with someone I already knows wants me fro who I am, not what I can buy them.
**PS** and if I invite them out, I pay for the date by the way. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 12/29/2006 10:33:18 PM | very true it is so some of us have to resort to making up exotic occupations for them to start a biting 
You see I am no comedian butt i get all these notes about if you can make me laugh  i'll be yours  and some of these ladies are very aggressive about it 
now thats game NEXT  | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 12/29/2006 11:04:19 PM | | S%$# I willing to take it to the next level indianaman, almost every aspect in life pertaining to relationship now a days is about cash, not just dating. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:14:47 PM | | The person who does the asking should pay. Basically, I tell the gal this is what we will be doing. If she does not like it, that's okay with me. Would I buy steak dinners on a first date? No way! What if there is going to be a kiss........ Not really sure if I want to exchange the aftertaste of a steak dinner LOL! I prefere to tone down the first date a little. Maybe go to a museum or do something more interesting for the money rather than blow it all on a resturaunt. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:36:23 PM | | If you get a vibe from a woman that implies she's a gold digger walk away.She's only loyal as long as the money is there.If you want sex and she's there for the money there is a word for that.CEOs would date a janitor if she looked like a model,lol hey Indianaman if a woman insists on a steak dinner like you said tell her see ya.Go for a coffee for the first meeting.If later your gonna marry her get a prenup if she really loves you she won't care.If she's out for money she'll want to know what kind of job you have and how much you pull in trade her in for another model pardon the pun,lol | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:37:01 PM | | I would rather have a poor man and be loved then to be with a rich man that loves his money. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 1/2/2007 2:34:01 AM | OP - No, you are wrong! This is a "man mentality" (goes back to caveman days when men had to be head of household and the boss, and make all the money). Most decent women do NOT care how much you make, as long as you are stable and employed.
I make a good living, and I have dated men who made more and made less - the important thing to me, is that they be working fulltime. Dating does not have to be aobut money, some of the best dates I have been on have been simple ones -a picnic in the park, windowshopping, sharing an orange julius. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 1/2/2007 4:03:21 AM | I am not looking for a guys wallet, I make my own money BUT.. Success is attractive, Intelligence is attractive, a person who maintains a career and has GOALS is attractive..
An unemployed fella who goes through life working as LITTLE as possible is unattractive, a person who continually needs to be taken to court to pay his child support is unattractive.. ( although there are exceptions to that one) a person who goes through life complaining they have nothing but do NOTHING to change it.. is unattractive..
Shoot .. I gotta go.. Im late for work.. lol | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:02:44 PM | If dating is basted on income everybody is screwed for what it is worth. What would you want with someone only interested in how much money you make? Hang in there,
for the right person takes time, and that is something you have right now. We all struggle when we are young. There are women that would be content to eat at home and watch videos and other stuff that don't cost a lot. Let me put it this way if she really cares about you she would rather be with you than out blowing money. Wait for her, she is out there. Good luck | |
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mackz
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Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 196 | |
| Dating is all about income
Posted: 1/3/2007 11:15:07 PM | | The girl asked the OP " why he didn't work overtime??" Maybe she wanted you to not be there when she took your dog, she had a scheme in the making. watch out for those sneaky overtime dog snatchin girls. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/1/2007 1:06:21 AM | I personally don't think it's right to judge a person by his/her income... I personally don't make that much money, (not right now at least, but who knows what the future will bring?). I make enough to live on, but I'm not quite "up there" on the social or financial ladder.
I've seen 26 year old doctors and pharmacists who make a hell of a lot more money than most people and I've seen much older people make much less. I seriously doubt that these "yuppies" would even consider dating out of their "clique", but I could be wrong to stereotype. You know "the Colonel" from KFC didn't get rich until he was in his early 70s? The world works in mysterious ways after all... So I guess you can't judge a man for being poor early on in his life.
I have no problem paying for a simple or even extravagant meal. I like to treat my date to as much as I can afford, plus it's fun to take someone you love out for a special treat every once in a while. It's just that rich people have different wants and needs from their poorer counterparts. People with in the higher class status always have higher wants and needs compared to people of average or lower classes. Therefore it's more of a social issue than economical.
So would I date a female doctor who made $200k a year? Yes, but not for her money. I was never really one to value excess luxury. I have relatively simple wants in life. What I don't see is her choosing me as a date anytime soon (based on our social class alone)! LOL! | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/1/2007 8:48:33 AM | Obviously you are dating the wrong women. We aren't all materialistic.
I dated a man who seems to have it all, a big beautiful house, expensive toys (cars, motor cycles), expensive hobbies and he is well traveled. He has lived a life many of us dream of. Sadly for him tho he is still searching for happiness.
I am currently dating a man who like me has the basics taken care of and is happy with the simple things in life. We both are content and appreciate that we are truly living a very good life. | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/1/2007 9:37:35 AM | I DONT EAT MEAT CHICKEN ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR LOBSTER
YES I AM A CHEAP DATE
BUT I DO LOVE SUNSETS AND SUNRISES BEACH RAIN OR SHINE
PLUS I'TS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE | |
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| Dating is all about income
Posted: 2/1/2007 12:27:58 PM | oh please what a bunch of bunk, 90% of the women out there in dating land are concerned about a man's income
Youre telling me that if a Brad Pitt, or Dr.McDreamy or Denzil Washington type approached you and he worked at some Fast food joint flipping burgers, takes public transit, lives in his parents or relative basement with a roommate that you would date him? oh please most of you would of labelled him a LOSER even if hes good looking. | |
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