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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:35:03 AM | It honestly depends how mature they are. If they're operating with a teenaged mentality in an adult body, then no. It'll never work. If they're mature, respectful, and socially secure, then yes, you can be friends with them. Eventually they'll take the hint and move their affections elsewhere.
It also depends how mature and secure you are, and this is the real issue here, right? Can you handle feeling like you're hurting his feelings? Do you take the blame for his choices onto yourself? Can you deal with someone else's conflicting emotions in a constructive way? If not, then it's probably better to sever the friendship.
I'm guessing you're mature enough to deal with these things though, based on your post, so the ball is probably gonna be in his court.
-Kevin
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 8/27/2006 10:04:04 PM | | You can try the only problem is you are constantly having to remind them that you want nothing more than a friendship (if they dont get it the first time). And it becomes harder for them. But i guess if you know it but they havent said it you can still be friends! | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 8/27/2006 10:21:20 PM | oh man....i am goin thru this ordeal as we speak too....sigh... i dont know what to do either.....we often talk bout this...we are very good together...spend alot of time together an talk bout anything....but i dont want to loose a great friend...an i know if we do cross that line...things change for us if it doesnt work out...i lose another friend...i've been there to many times an i dont want to repeat it again...i am gettin to old to make new friends all the time...lol. does it scare me....absolutely...cause he just might be the one...who knows right...but i am not willing to make that risk just yet....an hes very clear bout this. we respect one anothers private space... we dont get physical in any way....its kept as just friends. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 10/15/2006 7:33:02 AM | | This is exactly why I don't "prefer" to be friends with someone who I was romantically interested in. Someone asked me this question recently, and I wasn't really sure how I felt exactly about it. I would feel uncomfortable if a girl rejected me, but wanted to remain friends. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 10/15/2006 10:02:22 AM | You can try it, but be EXTREMELY careful not to send mixed messages! I had a friend whom I had very strong feelings toward, and was honest about it. She said she didn't want anything from me other than friendship, and wasn't ready to date anyone anyway. And she held my hand while watching movies, invited me over to make dinner for me, cancelled dates from websites to spend time with me, kissed me, and the list goes on and on... I have to stay away from her now, because the mixed messages have caused way too much trouble for me.
Personally, I'd say that if you are both single, then you have two options. Give it a try, let him plan a few dates and see if you recognize a new side of him you didn't permit yourself to see prior... the other option is to cut back your contact with him. I'd like to pretend that decent people are able to recognize that when someone is in a relationship, that relationship needs time to grow or die without outside confusions... so, if you find someone else, then you can try to be friends. If you're both single, I can't see that it would work.
-B. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 12/2/2006 2:05:18 AM | | The question should be reversed. Can "they" be friends with someone they want more from, but whom does not reciprocate. In my case, not at this time. I'm looking for a mate, and if I befriend every girl who is a potential candidate, and whom turns out not to be right for me -- I'd have hundreds of women I couldn't possibly be expected to keep in touch with. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 12/2/2006 2:28:23 AM | all you gotta do is tell the guy how you feel... just tell him you like him as a friend.. or that u have a boyfriend and make sure you let him know how awsome you think he is and valueyour friendsp with him... i he truley cares about u he will accept that and hopefully you guys could remain pals. but if not, then he aint worth the bother | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 12/2/2006 7:53:58 AM | | I have a bets friend that has been in my life since ia was 16 I am 51 now and I was his first love but i was honest with him and he wanted me in his life so we got past that and have been close every since.He jokenly asks me every now and again if i am ready to marry him yet and i twell him you outlasted 2 marriages several engagements and relationships and he smiles and says ok and we go on as always he is the brother I never had and hold nothing from him . I know his exes he knows mine.I dont keep any secrets from hiom I would be lost without him so yes i am proof you can be friends if you are both honest from the start. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 12/2/2006 10:10:37 AM | yes you can be friends, with someone who wants more, as long as you respect there feelings towards you and don't try to control the friendship, as in them not being able to talk to you about certain thing, and as long as you keep your ego in check, because after all they like you more. but don't worry they would never do anything to jepardise the friendship,just makesure not brush there feelings for you off as some sort of puppy love and all will be good. just remember things take time so be patient with them, and you will not regret it.  | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 12/2/2006 10:22:28 AM | its not up to me to decide if i can be friends with someone 'into' me... its actually up to him/them whether they can keep it platonic
I do prefer to keep a distance out of respect to their feelings.
The last thing i want to do is draw it out,
lead them on
and emotionally torture the hell of them with my radiant charm and beauty  | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 12/2/2006 1:46:42 PM | How would you feel if you thought someone liked you as much as you did, they backed off and stopped calling and you do not know why. I was a "goner" when I met this one so it is very hard for me still, was getting over him and then... We have had no contact and all of a sudden this appears as a testimonial on my profile out of no where this morning:
SO YOU KNOW GUYS THIS WOMAN HERE HAS A HEART OF GOLD TRY NOT TO STRESS ABOUT HER ADORABILITY RESPECT HER SHE WILL OFFER YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW SHES A SWEETHEART AND I WOULD MAKE HER MINE IF I LIVED CLOSER OR FELT I DESERVED HER TREAT THIS ONE LIKE YOUD WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO BE TREATED AND YOU MAY GET HER TO BE YOURS
How would you feel after seeing something like this out of the blue and how do you react to it. Still no contact and this comes out of no where..what does he want?
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 2/27/2008 2:50:55 PM | | I disagree Luna Lover.... Just because she may not want him in her life the way he would want to be doesn't mean to say he cannot be in her life as friend, if like someone enough to want to be with them, then that should mean friendship on any level!!! It is selfish of him to walk away if he can't get over the fact they'll be nothing more but friends!! That happened to me twice.. two nice guys that I just didn't feel attracted to in that way but only in the way of a friend and they walked out of my life as they couldn't accept the fact they'd not get anything more from me than friendship!!!!! THEY ARE THE SELFISH ONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 2/27/2008 3:06:32 PM | Yes, it can work.
I think he needs to understand that it isn't going to work out as romance though. So wait until he tells you he likes you or until he does something that suggests he likes you and tell him that you value him as a friend, but you don't want a relationship other than friendship. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:31:52 PM | I've done it and we were best of friends and had it backfire on me as well. But every time it worked, it was when she treated me so good as a friend that I didn't care about the "benefits". The rest of the time, she messed me about something awful, and if I didn't like her, I'd have never been friends with her in the first place. What I found out later on, was that everyone else felt the same as I did about her, even her exes and her female friends.
So just be a really good friend. Don't use him. Be nice to him. Then, he'll value the friendship and HE won't want to chance ruining it. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:34:50 PM | Yes.
Say that you will never be romantically involved with him. Ever.
Help set him up with other women.
Talk to him about his other women.
If that doesn't work, then you cannot keep him as a friend. He is far too gone. | |
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| Can you be friends with someone who wants more with you?
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:22:35 PM | This can be a sticky relationship if you don't talk about it up front. If you're both able to come to an understanding of what your friendship will look like, and agree upon it, then yes. I'd be really worried about feelings being hurt. For example, how would your 'friend' feel when you go out with someone on a date or want to move towards a more serious relationship with someone else? In situations such as this, when matters of the heart are involved good care needs to be taken with the heart of other(s).
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