| men don't listen
Posted: 9/24/2006 10:23:48 AM | | Nicely put, 120. It's frustrating to have the entire male gender generalized and oversimplified. All of a sudden, men are big dumb apes who can't communicate beyond hand singals and grunts, and women are incredibly complex creatures whom simple male minds can't hope to comprehend? THAT is a ridiculous notion. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/24/2006 10:39:50 AM | Erm I am sorry but men do listen,, what did you say again lol….
The problem is women don’t explain well enough… we just don’t understand how you start the conversation with something about your bum looking fat in this and finish it with you never loved me anyway… and in the middle you have gone from what I said to you 300 years ago which you have never forgotten and keep bringing back up, at the most in opportune moments,; to how Freda’s little girl round the corner has come home from school with head lice!!
Or is it we switch off because we don’t want to hear about the calorific content of that huge bar of chocolate you have bought and never share….for the hundredth time!
Or is this just me? Lol | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/24/2006 10:49:19 AM | What do I think?
I think God came me two ears and one mouth for a reason, so I can listen twice as much as I speak. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/24/2006 12:57:19 PM | I don't agree with the men don't listen thing at all. I think they will listen if it's something worth listening to...I tend to have the brain of a guy a lot of times so I sympathize with them on certain things.
I am a woman and even I tend to tune a lot of women out. It's either about shopping or 30 minute conversations about their jobs where I don't work (it's ok if it's a quick rundown, but most talk to you like you work there too complete with the names of co-workers and projects they are in the middle of and stuff like the snack machine being empty - WTF??) or a diatribe about how "all men suck" or some long drawn out conversation about nothing major.
Sometimes it's ok, but sometimes it does sound a bit monotonous. I usually sum stuff up in my life to the general idea but skip the details unless asked. I mean I was there, I don't need to get into it again, I know how it all ended. So that's all I usually tell someone.
However...in defense of women there are some things men go on and on about that maybe their friends should be listening to instead. MOST women aren't into sports, cars, or work. I happen to really be interested in some of those things, so I will listen and ask if I don't get the details of something, but I know the feeling when it's something I have NO interest in...generally I will just nod and tune out, but if I am with that person I ask questions cause it's important to them.
I think the bottom line is that IF you're in a relationship with someone, THEN you listen as a gift - expecting nothing out of the conversation except that that person is heard and understood. | |
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XR7sc
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Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 130 | |
| men don't listen
Posted: 9/28/2006 9:28:25 PM | I was gonna post that I too dont like it that men get lumped into a bracket, like not listening..
Now I just want to know if I can clone oldschoolqueen......   | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/28/2006 10:14:02 PM | | I think the problem is with both genders these days. People are generally more selfish in relationships these days as opposed to the old school days(sorry about that phrase oldschoolqueen lol). This is the meeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeee era and this is why true intimacy is probably at an old time low | |
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| I love to listen
Posted: 9/28/2006 10:32:54 PM | | Only problem is that a lot of ladies on line are game players and fakes and who needs to listen to that crap. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/28/2006 10:42:16 PM | They listen, they just do it selectively. | |
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A muse
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Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 134 | |
| men don't listen
Posted: 9/28/2006 11:28:44 PM | There was a study done in England that involved young male and female children. It was discovered that the males naturally had a five minute attention span, while the females had a fifteen minute attention span. The difference in attention spans was simply attributed to hormones. It is more difficult for a young boy to sit still and remain quiet than it is for a girl.
In the past years, pharmaceutical companies have marketed drugs llike Ritalin for children who have so called Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and most of the users of this drug are school aged boys. Also, most schools are "girl friendly" that is to say, schools are designed for girls, and not for boys so the issue of attention deficit disorder may be a question of boredom especially for above averaged kids -- the kind of kids labelled with ADD.
Also, men have a different style of communicating, preferring worldly metaphors, looking out to the world to communicate with indirect associations to themselves, while women prefer face to face, much more direct, and personal. Some men just don't feel comfortable with a woman's method of communication and will tune out. I tend to adjust my method of communication depending on the listener, but I have noticed that men also like to talk about themselves and want good listeners, too, but women tend to be more dominate in conversations with men. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/28/2006 11:36:21 PM |
I am a woman and even I tend to tune a lot of women out. It's either about shopping or 30 minute conversations about their jobs where I don't work (it's ok if it's a quick rundown, but most talk to you like you work there too complete with the names of co-workers and projects they are in the middle of and stuff like the snack machine being empty - WTF??) or a diatribe about how "all men suck" or some long drawn out conversation about nothing major.
Is there anything more annoying that some woman nattering on and on about such trivial things? Sometimes I just tune them out and find my 'happy place'. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/29/2006 2:49:20 AM | | you think men don't listen...just get around a group of men talking about sports ...then you'll see...ladies if you want a man to listen....learn about sports....lol | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/29/2006 4:09:14 AM | well according to the threads these days I have all the answers.
Men don't listen because all women do is nag!
there , you're welcome! | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:20:36 AM |
I was at a BBQ for Father's Day (only single dad there) and we got on a discussion about how a man can walk into a room and a woman knows right off the bat if she would take him home. The thing I'm getting at is, Men, you don't Listen. You open your mouth and talk yourself out of a good thing. Throughout my 35 for life yrs I have learn one valuable thing about women, they Love for you to listen to them. I'm not talking about the "yes dear thing". I'm talking about truely listening. A women will tell you everything you need to know if you listen, where to touch, what she likes, how she likes, when she likes. Everything.
Men, what do you think?
Ladies, am I right or wrong?
You're absolutely right. This is one of my rules for dating. If she's talking, you don't have a chance to say something stupid. | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 139 | |
| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:48:13 AM |
Also, most schools are "girl friendly" that is to say, schools are designed for girls, and not for boys so the issue of attention deficit disorder may be a question of boredom especially for above averaged kids
I disagree, schools ARE NOT designed to be "girl friendly".
Schools are designed to house multiple little people and the system tries to keep students focused on specific tasks.
The biggest failing in the School System, is the lack of recognition for developing two separate but equally functioning systems to accomodate the differing needs of males and females.
But to do this, would be to create a 'black and white' curriculum, which would define males in a specific way, and females in a specific way. It would not have tolerance for the males who have female traits, or females with male traits.
The school system is a complex tool that caters to a general population, but in itself, cannot cater to every individual. It just happens, long hours sitting at a desk is tolerated easier by females than males.
This does NOT mean that the females actually receive a greater benefit.
OT Men do not need to listen past five minutes, because if an idea cannot be summed up in less, then it probably isn't a good idea.
ie: Some of the most significant engineering feats were the result of a simple process, using simple resources and simple design, like transistors, light bulb, telephone, etc. Apparently, most were designed and developed by men.
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:53:27 AM | | I sit and listen all the time. Doesn't stop girls from only looking on the outside though. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:55:47 AM | | Say that again? I'm deaf, you'll have to speak up. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:37:40 AM | OP........you have it right to a T..........men don't listen and that's why when they see you walking out the door, they wonder why?
Most women say what's on their mind, what makes them happy, and what it is essentially that they need from you to be happy and if you aren't listening or showing some kind of action than slowly day by day she is turning away. Sad...........
Things can be good but when a woman feels that she is not being heard, it truly get ugly and decline at a rapid pace. I am one who listens and wants to please her man and will do what it takes, but when it is not reciprocated, oh boy do I ever get frustrated!  | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:51:54 AM | It's been said in here that men are physical while women are mental,touch his arm while you talk ladies if you want him to hear you
And, theres no point in discussing subjects that you know doesnt interest him which many women do because its a subject that interests them. You cant be that greedy. Pick something he enjoys talking about then ask if you two can discuss something important to you. But keep it short(rememeber their short attention span?).
Its all common sense and compromise in terms of communication.
To the OP:yes, men do need to listen more.Actually go out of their way to focus only on what she is saying and react/respond.Give their input or memorize it. She may say " i really liked the dinner we had last night and the walk in the park was amazing."
well duhhh... take that as a clue to what kind of food she likes and that she likes the outdoors.
See?? You make her happy,and you get lucky | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:03:22 PM |
A women will tell you everything you need to know if you listen, where to touch, what she likes, how she likes, when she likes. Everything.
But only a fool would actually take notes. There's a reason why women get infatuated over a man, and it's not because he’s attentive. Next time you’re at a party, take note of another woman, while you’re listening, and make a comment over how nice her clothes are; then say, “I’m sorry, where were we?” continue to do so, in different fashion, a few times more thru the evening. By the end of the night, she’ll be more concerned over what you’re saying… | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:11:01 PM | Geeezzzz, you can't hardly blame them for missing some things. Supposedly women speak an average of 20,000 words per day. A man, 7,000. He's probably exhausted by about 10,000 which leaves another 50% of hit and miss just trying to pretend to pay attention. 
~OT~ I have to agree with whitetigeress. Rather than beating them senseless because they don't hear or don't retain what they hear ~ make the words they are hearing important enough to make them want to listen and retain the info. I am a very wordy person, details, details, details. Honestly, it's ridiculous. So, with my former SO, I cut out all the non-pertinent descriptive stuff and he made a valid effort to pay attention, listen, hear, and understand whatever it was we were talking about. I stopped the jibberish and he learned to truly be engaged in the conversation. I felt like we won the battle and the war. It worked for us. JMO | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:17:24 PM | Hints for listening:
Cut hair short away from the ears - avoids that muffled sound.
Pin ears forward like Prince Charles - good for catching sound waves, and stereo reception.
Volunteer as a telephone counsellor - if you can learn to actually listen actively for 1 hour.
Keep eyes above the neck - those radiant eyes, or lucsious lips, or worth the gaze.
Use genuine compliments "Interesting ear rings" - just ensure she is wearing ear rings; also above her neck.
If all else fails  | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:21:43 PM | I'm sure it's been said before but we listen when it's something worth listening too.
I'm sorry but stories about your little fluffy cat Mr. Mittens (and I'm sure because of that name if he had opposable thumbs he would have killed you in your sleep long ago) or Suzy the office slut getting all the attention, for most part doesn't make for compelling conversation (though the thought of meeting Suzy and you in a sleazy hotel room is another story all together).
Should I feel bad when you get upset that I'm not taking an interest in MAC's new line of eyeliner?
Hell no.
Am I going to get upset at you tuning me out when I've had a few beers and start telling you (in precise detail) about the importance of the salary cap in the "New NHL"?
Not fvcken likely. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:22:35 PM | I have one of them little "go-anywhere" micro tape recorders.
Especially comes in handy when they claim to have said something they didn't... or when they refuse to acknowledge the fact that they snore too. | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:24:05 PM | if all else fails ...................
Just stare and say: "I'm sorry, you're so beautiful I can't hear a thing"  | |
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| men don't listen
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:27:02 PM | [Just stare and say: "I'm sorry, you're so beautiful I can't hear a thing"]
Stop stealing my line Tigress - That's is plagarism | |
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