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| This lonliness thing is affecting my health!!
Posted: 6/17/2007 10:03:36 PM | Ah Hah! I knew I had this written out for someone!!!
I'm feeling a wee bit lonely myself which is why I sat and thought about this and posted it before as "My Master Plan".
This would work for men and women if they tried it a few times a week. Actually, here's a few suggestions.
I'm a non-smoker, non-drinker so this will help anyone.
I plan on doing this not just to meet guys but because I feel I need to expand my network of friends. Having a larger network of friends might also lead to finding a new boyfriend.
I find that my problem and the problem with my friends that are single is this one common denominater. We all either sleep all day or work all day and don't go out until night time. I think that the people sleeping all day might be mildly depressed.
My plan is to get up early on my days off and go wander around, it worked before years ago when I did this so I'm going to try it again.
My local library always has something going on and it's loaded with books. Go browse around you might find someone interesting, er I mean an interesting book.
It's summer now, go find a bathing suit and hit the beach or local swimming pool. I'm going to have to get a bathing suit and do this too even though I am uncomfortable with my body having flabby abs.
If I had the space I would own a dog so it could take me for walks and introduce me to people.
Go hang out at a cafe, not just a common donut shop but an actual cafe.
Pick up a musical instrument and go to jam clubs, usually they have these at a local bar but who cares; go anyway. You don't need to be a musician to just go and watch. Who knows you could be a songwriter waiting to happen.
Go to a bar anyway. Most of my griends drink and drinking doesn't bother me anyway if the other person is doing it in moderation. Besides, just because you are in a bar doesn't mean you have to drink.
Wander the mall and if someone catches your eye go talk to them about the item they are holding, less direct then asking for thier phone number right away and you can get to know them a little.
Ladies who are over 50. There is a club called The Red Hat Society. Look it up. It is absolutely fabulous and my mother is a member as well. It's for women from all walks of life who are over fifty. Women under 50 are allowed to join too but you're not allowed to where a red hat until you are 50. Fantastic way to meet new friends who can introduce you to thier friends and sons!
Okay, this is going to sound mildly silly. Hang out at a busy grocery store and wander the isles looking at random things. Seeing if they eat the same things as you might be a good indicator. You can usually find the healthier people hanging out in fresh produce.
If anyone has anymore ideas, toss them in because I can certainly use more suggestions.
Hope those help. 
And yes Kimmie, the lady is right about talking to your doctor. Times like this can become very stressful. If your anything like me your health goes downhill real quick when too many things happen at once. In my case it really effects my Thyroid, I'm one of those rare cases where I suffer from both Hyperthyroidism and Hypothyroidism. Right now I'm in Hypo mode and having trouble keeping it under control, my doctor is giving me a hand with meds and whatnot. When it's in Hyper my weight is easier to control but I can get frighteningly thin if I am not careful.
So go see your doctor and chat it out, especially if your starting to feel tired and exhausted alot, or maybe are dwelling on things just a bit much.
Give your son time, he'll come around on his own.
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| This lonliness thing is affecting my health!!
Posted: 6/17/2007 10:04:55 PM | Hi,
I live where you are at. Sometimes I feel so empty it is as though my bones ache.
However, as they say "InThe Meantime" Treat yourself, spoil yourself, seek out those things that bring you joy - make a list.
With me, I would buy flowers, then I began to grow them myself, I have an awesome garden now! Go and get your hair done - just a treatment - the hairdressers love to chat to you! Mine told me to come just for a treatment next time because if I kept coming for cuts I would have no hair left! She knew I was lonely and that is why I made appoinments with her.
Treat yourself to little things for they bring the most pleasure.
I talk to myself and have conversations with myself at times, now that has to be worst than talking to the customers? I work in an office by myself and some days talk to no-one at work or home. My pets love me though! Hehehehe. My youngest who is often out says, "Oh mum please don't talk to the cats when my friends are here! How many of your customers are lonely people and go out to have others to talk to.
I find writting lists is a great way to "see". make lists of your strengths, your goals dreams and read through them often.
I will often put on a special dress and make up just for dinner. I no longer say by myself, I say with myself.
It will get better!!!!! It WILL! | |
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| This lonliness thing is affecting my health!!
Posted: 6/18/2007 4:48:58 PM | Hi,
I ran out of time yesterday so I wanted to add; we are all different and what may work for me, may not work for you.
I used to find holidays, like Valentines, long holiday weekends, birthdays etc the hardest and often would have a long "pity party" as they approached. I then decided to make a difference to others who were alone as I knew how they felt. I would make special cards, tying 2 or 3 different papers together with ribbons and put in pictures that showed I knew what their interests were. There are lots of awesome quotes and positive messages about to write in. Burning the edges can give an antique well loved look. And of course what I call Angel dust! Confetti - stars and silver dust, coloured stars etc. Plenty inside so when opened it flies all over the place, a reminder for some time! I would put little chocolate hearts in special little bags and Angel dust in their letter-box unseen for Valentines!
I also have a large cane basket. Often I would load it up with home made chocolate eclairs, strawberries, or cheese, patie, crackers, grapes. Always with real glasses, wine or grape juice and flowers. I would surprise friends and go for a picnic, or often my cousin who has 5 children at home we would just put it on top of the messy table and take time out. She so enjoyed those times.
I found a place where I could buy 10 roses for $2.00. I would buy ten bunches and put them outside the front door, of course sprinkled with Angel dusts and stars. I would imagine how they would respond opening the door to 50 roses!
These gave me a special joy that replaced my acke of loneliness!
Do not expect these to be returned, cause that doesn't happen, but I tell you it is more joy to do these for others than to receive them.
You must have some skills, gifts? Do you sing, play an instrument, can you bake, knitt? Explore them.
There are other lonely people out there who need you. In NZ we have a society who asks for volunteers, to take on one person. To phone them once a day. They are eldery or invalids house bound and isolated and it is a blessing to them.
People will say. "Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself, get up off your butt and go out Blah blah blah!"
But it is not as simple as that. I have been single for a number of years now. I have been to "single" events and left after 10 mins or so because they are just "meat" markets and I am not interested.
Where do you go when you are one person? You can go where there are thousands and still be one person. I made a huge effort to go to a Ceilih across town. On entering the hall and looking around I thought - kool there must be 150 people here. However, much to my dismay they were ALL couples!!! YOU have to have sense of humor here. And the only people I knew were the musicians! So I attempted to look like I was enjoying myself despite the fact that it became obvious I was the only single there making conversation with those around. What was worse, women forced their husbands to have a dance with the poor thing! Hmmmmmmm! I stayed to the end to prove a point?
I have found a way to enjoy my Irish music without a dance partner. I have begun to learn to play the fiddle. I don't need a partner for that. It takes a lot of practice and I thought after my first lesson I must be mad, however I am looking to the time when I can go and jam with other musicians at my favoutie Irish pub (where I go on my own)
I have found I had to be the best friend there is to myself, not look to anyone else, don't hold any one accountable or to blame for my situation. Others may enhance your life but you are the only one who can change your situation.
The 3 closest friends I had have moved from NZ to live in Queensland Australia. My cousin who is like a sister has just move to live in Sydney! GULP!!!!!!!
Look at your life as it is, there has to be a way through, something you enjoy, explore it further, try something new, but do it with yourself!
Westernlite | |
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