mcfly1
|
Joined: 5/19/2004
Msg: 51 | |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:29:41 PM | I was never afforded the luxury of being able to live with my parents since I was kicked out at 16. So I guess my opinion and my advice to you is this: If you want something bad enough, you will do what it takes to attain it. If you think that your own place will improve your chances with women, by all means work toward that. I had to work a few part time jobs to get by for the first few years... but I was an emancipated minor. If your having problems finding full time work, your being too picky with what you want to do. As a 16 yr old, imagine how hard it was for me to find full time income and an apartment... it took alot. I wish you the best. What kind of work are you looking for?
Jason | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:31:50 PM | I dated a Scottish guy who lived with his mother...he had been the man of the house since he was 14 when his dad left the family and he worked and paid for expenses with his mum. I thought it was very honorable of him. He eventually moved to London to get a better paying job, but he still sends part of his money home to her...which I also think is sweet. Would I marry this guy? NO, but he was a great guy to date and spend time with.
If I'm just seeing someone casually and they live at home, but work and take care of themselves I don't mind them living at home, but if I'm seriously considering them as a future mate, they are not the best prospect. It's also hard to get together for intimate times when they live with the parent/s. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:53:40 PM | | Well here's my take on it....i went to school from the time i was 18 until 24.....now University is expensive..and im not about to waste money on an apartment, or a dorm..when i can live at home for free...Why pay for something you are never going to own...doesnt make sense to me....now that im finished school, i have loans to pay back so until they are gone and i can buy a home why would I leave....in not about to move into an apartment, pay rent on something that in the future i wont own...just to impress a woman...so in 2 years or so when i have a house, a good job and these same women are living in shit apartments and working at the mall I will smile and say i told ya so....and for the record living at home being lazy and living at home with goals and drive is different... | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 1:19:41 PM | ^^^^ you are 100% correct. I agree with you.
However initially to hear that a man is 26 and lives at home is a huge turn off.
In most cases the people still living at home at 26 do not fall into your category - making a plan with goals and drive - i would venture to say a relationship at this point in your life is not a major priority to you anyway.
Most at home at 26 are just a bit lame-O. Just a bit!! LOL
 | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 1:55:07 PM | sweet.. when u fall, u pick urself back up & move on.. u learn from that fall.. everyone of us have had that fear of "not making it" when we`re first on our own.. i had that fear over 20 yrs ago.. but i was damned if i was going 2 move back in w/my mom.. i knew back then i had 2 legs 2 stand on & knew i could do it no matter what.. sure it was hard at the beginning when i was first on my own having 2 pay 4 EVERYTHING & have no 1 to fall back onto.. but hey.. i did it.. and still am doing it.. i LOVE having the freedom 2 do what i want, when i want & not have 2 answer 2 my mom if i screw up.. these mistakes that i had made in the past, i have learnt from & so will u.. just keep a positive outlook when the going gets tough..  | |
|
| |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:17:13 PM | | my question to you is Why aren't you working full-time and earning a decent living at 26? If you went to college late I can understand you living at home for a short time, but not indefinately. Women in your age group are looking for men to settle down with and have babies. So of course they want a guy who's got a good job and doesn't live at home. Living with your parents shows lack of independence and lack of amibition. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:28:15 PM | If the person has fallen on hard times, is taking care of their parent(s) or are in their 20's and still in school, it does not mean the person is living at home because they are lazy etc. I've known a few people who had to move back in with their parents due to hard times - BUT they moved back out again. I've also known parents who have said NO to their child wanting to move back in, and guess what? That person did not fall into bankrupcy or kill themselves!
I don't think I would date someone who lived at home quite so readily as others, so yes it may be a turn-off. It may be judgemental, but I've lived on my own since I was 23. I see alot more people living at home in other provinces other than Québec and since I come from QC, I am used to people living on their own. That said, I have dated a man who had fallen on hard times and was living with his parents, but he moved out not long after I got to know him. I did meet this man through friends though, so that makes a huge difference than when you read that someone lives with Mom on the internet.
I'm not sure how I would have felt at 26 about this.
Roomates are not a problem, but Mom and Dad can seriously put a cramp in a relationship at times.
My parents sure don't want us moving back in with them lol. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/21/2006 3:21:14 PM | | someone who is on their own and working towards goals. working full time and going to school. Just so that you get the picture that is what I'm doing. You asked for opinions and I gave you mine. It can be done. I'm doing it with no help and I'm glad. I want someone who is understanding and my life is one that wouldn't easily be understood by someone still living at home or with the help of others. I'm also a single parent.. please there are no excuses for not being independant at any age. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/26/2006 1:29:40 PM | I agree with surprise07. Living on your own in a HUGE step into independence. If you've had to move back home due to unforseen circumstances or you're at home because that's what your culture dictates, that's another story.
I respect someone much more if they're out there making it on their own. I can't stand people who just sit back and say "I've got it good at home... why move out?"
I've been on my own now for 5 years and I'm doing just fine. I've had a job since I was 15 and was raised to take nothing for granted. I would look for that same sense of pride in someone I'm dating. | |
|
Ahhh!
|
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 64 | |
| |
weena
|
Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 65 | |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/26/2006 10:03:49 PM | yeah, it is a bit of a turn-off.
a)failure to launch - why is the person still living at home? for a person to still be living at home and over the age of 30 - I would wager that something just isn't right. Cut the Cord!
b)always having to be at my place if any action is to occur. It should be equally spread around if you ask me. | |
|
| |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/26/2006 10:42:38 PM | | Dude you're at home for the right reasons, don't second guess yourself. I just moved out of my parents home and I'm 31. I just finished my Master's degree at NYU in 3D animation and special effects and there would have been no way to do that financially if I had such a narrow viewpoint that only considered living indpendently, not actually life planning and achieving goals I set for myself. I've been dating and some women were totally immature and even wanted me to quit school and try get a job I would have absolutely hated just to get an apartment. Quite naturally, they got kicked to the curb. I have a house and a big one now at that, which is one of the things I always wanted. I knew what I was doing and so do you. The biggest problem is that when you start listening to immature women and make bad decisions that just aren't aligned with your life goals to get some nookie you need to ask yourself why you're allowing someone else's opinion wiegh so heavily on your decision making in life. It happens to everyone from time to time, but it's good to step back and reevaluate from time to time. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/27/2006 5:16:32 AM | | i would have to say yes i know it shouldnt matter but after my kids dad i dont trust that i wana movce out one day im pretty sure his big plan was we could live there until they died ... that however didnt work 4 me soo well.. i dont think i would cut the person off right away but i just dont think it would work out.. to me i like my space ive been on my own sicne i was 16 maybe i could handle it as long as i never had to go there | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/27/2006 5:19:20 AM | | Yes, it is definitely a turn-off. I think people should go through stages before having a romantic relationship. They should be dependent (kids), then indepdent (on their own), and then interdepedent (marriage). If they are not indepedent, then there is no way my relationship with a woman could progress because the second step is missing. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/27/2006 6:23:58 AM | I wouldn't even consider a guy at my age who lives with parents -- unless he had real crash in his life and trying to get it straight right now.
As for younger people, I think it depends. Generally, it is turn off. My son is 25 and I didn't support him since he was 12. He always made some money aside for his hobbies etc When I ask him if he wants me to apply for child support from his dad, he answered that he didn't need his money. He was independent and very Man since he was born. It was hard for him to work and study when he went to University for 5 years, but he still didn't ask any money. He rented his own place since he was 18.
I just moved out of my parents home and I'm 31. I just finished my Master's degree at NYU in 3D animation and special effects and there would have been no way to do that financially if I had such a narrow viewpoint that only considered living indpendently, not actually life planning and achieving goals I set for myself. I think this is a good reason to stay at home, however, I know people who are "Eternal students" and even when they have families, they still not mature enough to take care of themselves. They have money, of course, but they are still children.
If I were 25-30 and would looking for a guy to marry and have kids with, I would choose someone who can organize his life. A Man but not a kid. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/27/2006 6:36:54 AM | Every circumstance is different, and everyone's opinion is different. The male perspective is different from the female as well. I lived in my famly home on and off until I was 40. Sounds bad, right?
I was in a band for a lot of years that was on the road as much as 8 months a year. When I was home I stayed in their basement rather than pey rent for an apartment I was not in, as well as risking leaving it unattended while I was gone and everybody knew it. By the time I retired from music, my father had passed away from cancer and emphyzema, and my mother couldn't handle the house alone. When I did move out for good, I had to arrange landscaping, snow removal, etc....
However, at no time was I regarded as their kid who they still told what to do. The basement had a kitchen and a bathroom and a seperate entrance, almost a basement apartment. In fact when I went back to a full time day job my niece moved in there so her grandmother wasn't alone.
That would be radically different if it was a kid who has no job and plays xBox all day.
From the male side, I generally don't think we care if the girl lives at home. We ARE going out, not staying in with the parents.
I wiss say this as an old man who has been through this that for YOUR peace of mind you get out on your own as soon as possible.
Remember, your peace of mind happens when there is nobody around to give you a piece of theirs. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/27/2006 6:53:41 AM | true that
I moved out from my parents at the age of 16yrs old never looked back yet i had some pitfall i brushed myself off & picked up where i left off
Me myself would'nt date a women livin' with her mother cos when u have a disagreement than the parent put there nose in it, learndt that through experience
Sharing a place is much more cooler than livin' with your parents anyday !!!!!!!!
Hey my son is 18 and share a place with his buddy and loves it | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/27/2006 7:05:53 AM | | I live at home and have met a great guy that does not care about that at all. Sure it has its downsides like lack of privacy sometimes, but in my case he has his own place. I think you are well on your way to full independence. If you are living at home to save money for an apartment/house or invest/save for your future then why not??? You'll be farther ahead than the people who have been out on their own paying rent for years. I think if someone is really interested in you it does not matter if you still live at home. 26 is young. I'm only 27 and plan to move out next year. I have been on my own for 4 years, living in Toronto, and really I didn't get ahead financially...it is only now that I've been able to save alot because I'm not paying rent. Just make it clear to the person you date that you have a time line and are setting some goals for yourself. What is not attractive is someone with no plan....living at home with your parents is not a turn off to me. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 8/27/2006 7:13:36 AM | Honeysbee, what if HE llived at home too? Would you have your sex in parked cars or spend money for motel rooms? If you were to spend every weekend in a motel you may as well be paying rent somewhere.
As long as ONE of you have your own place.....
I can relate to living at home to build the bank account. And if you have parents who let you live there free it's all the better. Most parents are understanding when you are moving forward and making an effort more than if you are a lazy freeloading bum. You have a job and are there just to get ahead. That's WAY different from a bum with no ambition. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
