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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/22/2006 9:32:10 PM | I live at home BUT I'm a full time college student majoring in psychology. So, all my money goes into my schooling. I live in NYC and apartments here aren't cheap. In my area they start about $1500, studios about $600. I wouldn't be ashamed living at home . Only if I weren't doing anything, then I would but no I'm getting my education and thats important  | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/23/2006 6:00:57 AM | It's a turn off among the 80% of nerotic females who are hung up on everthing that makes for less than the mythical "perfect man"
It's any minor , petty, defect that these neurotics blow out of all proportion.
And its not just living at home. My brother left home, and school age 15 when a plumb job came up interstate. For the next five years he had trouble pulling dates because the girls all assumed he was a juvenile crim who had fled home and the law to be living on his own at that age. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/23/2006 6:04:58 AM | has been in and out of jail more times than I can count...but hey he still gets some chicks.
So there must be some girls out there willing to deal with your living at your parents...but not me.
======================
You got it ass about Sanity
It's nothing to do with living at home. Chicks dig the bad boys with crim records cause, when they bust up, the girls can always take the moral high ground. Regardless of where they live. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/23/2006 4:24:06 PM | Really depends on the girl, but most will make a snap-judgement.
My boyfriend just turned 28 and still lives with his dad, which initially made me a little weary. But- it's because he is still in college (about one year left, he took less classes so he could pay cash and not take loans, thus it took him longer to finish), and because his dad is pretty lonely and has an empty house, so why move?
The other thing that really helped is that he has direction and a sense of what he wants in life. He is a serial entrepreneur and owns his own company, so I know its not due to lack of iniative.
So, I guess my point is, you'll have to balance out this negative with something really positive and most girls should be okay. 26 isnt that far beyond the typical moving out age, only a few years. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/23/2006 4:35:34 PM | | To each his own I guess--For me, no, I would not date anyone living with their parents,beyond a reasonable age. I've read threads/heard of people living with their parents well into their 30's and beyond....personally, I think that is ridiculous unless the person is there to care for elderly/ill parents/siblings. | |
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a1na2
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Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 107 | |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/23/2006 4:40:24 PM | I once dated a woman in her early 30's who still lived at home . Her mother was very domineering and sometimes had to cancel seeing me cuz she'd be GROUNDED ! And then when I saw her she had trouble sitting sometimes cuz she'd also have to endure a spanking ! Bizarre !
Eventually, I got tired of the situation. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/24/2006 2:46:15 AM | well i'm 21 lived on my own since 18 and i don't feel it has helped me all that much I think a car would probably have had a greater impact for me, but at the same time i'd prefer a girl that is around my age that has lived on her own just because I want someone at a similar point in there life and independence is something I value a lot. But don't move out if your not ready your better off to start buying things your gonna need while your at home then to just move out for the sake of doing it and living in a 1/2 empty apartment.
1st place rented room in basement shared bath/fridge/living room
2nd place college residence
3rd place w/ one of my best friends from high school
4th place my own apt finally
you gotta do it in a way that will allow you to have extra income or its just not worth it though | |
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jeff
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 111 | |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/24/2006 4:40:51 AM | | God lad I’m 48 and just moved back in with my mother after a messy divorce, I wouldn’t wont to buy or rent house and be on my own every night just to be classed as a stereo type male who ‘can prove himself’ been there done that, lost it, but at your age you should have a good bank balance ready for when you do meet the right person, after all when you do start of with a new partner she would like an input in where and how you both live. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/24/2006 10:14:55 AM |
well i'm 21 lived on my own since 18 and i don't feel it has helped me all that much I think a car would probably have had a greater impact for me, but at the same time i'd prefer a girl that is around my age that has lived on her own just because I want someone at a similar point in there life and independence is something I value a lot.
I totally see your point. I got kicked out of my house when I got pregnant at 18. I was a fulltime student, part time job, no possessions, no savings... I wrote the book on independence and today I share a nice house with a roomie, goto college full time, and provide my 3.5 year old son with everything he needs and more.
Just want to make the point that just because someone hasnt lived on their own doesnt mean they dont understand. My boyfriend is independent and responsible because he is smart, not because he has to be. People learn it in different ways. Thats why stereotyping people (not that you were, speaking in general) is such a bad idea. You never really know who they are or what they're about until you get to know em!  | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/24/2006 11:04:25 AM | God lad I’m 48 and just moved back in with my mother after a messy divorce,
See, thats one of the few reasons I can think of for anyone our age (I'm 42) living at home, a messy divorce and just needing a little time to get back on your feet. I'm sure you don't plan on staying there forever.
That being said, by the OP's age (younger, actually), I was out of the house living with 2 other guys, renting a house together, the "consumate bachelor pad" with 3 refridgerators, one for food, one for beer, and the 3rd with no shelves for the occasional keg party. Heh, to be young again, now I have 6 beers left from the 12 pack I bought 2 weeks ago.  In fact, the three of us together allowed me to save enough money that at 27 I bought my house.
There's nothing wrong with using the time to save money, but on the flip side don't stay there forever because "its comfortable, and you can save". It was hard the first few years I had the house, but it taught me a lot about budgeting and how to save money even *with* a lot more obligations, things that I think now (having paid my house off in a little over 12 years on a 30yr mortgage, and living very comfortably financially) I never would have learned living at home. I love my parents, and I know they would always be there to help me, but don't substitute the "comfort" of living at home and being able to save for the life experiences that will serve you in better stead in the long run. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/26/2006 7:09:37 PM | In many cultures it is quite normal to live with parents and grandparents even after one is married with children. I have a very good friend who is 42 married with two children one of which is graduated high school now. He and his wife have lived with her parents since they got married over 20 years ago. Not only do they have a great and close family but they are all rather well off financially as it is far less expensive to live that way. Home was bought and paid for, split property taxes and utilities, no money for baby sitters and the savings list goes on. The key is that you must be able to get along and be flexible and not always have everything your own way. I predict as things continue in this country and cost of living continues to rise we will see more and more of this. We waste more resources heating unoccupied living space in this country than is right. I live alone and heat and light a whole place for myself. The place I live in could easily house a family of four or more if necessary and in some cultures would house many more. If a person is living with parents for economic reasons or to be more environmentally friendly I see no problem with it. If their lazy or spoiled brats than that is a whole different story. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/26/2006 7:23:43 PM | How about as I do I have my house and I have my parents living with me,,,Thats a turn for ya,,LOL,,Well I believe they took care of me,,WHY shouldn`t I take care of them,:) | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/29/2006 5:54:26 PM | | Well you are 26, being honest and trying....there are alot worse situations....If next year you post the same question then not so good. The way i see it is there are times in life we struggle and may need that help. Let you other qualities shine through and keep pursueing that full time job to where you can live independently | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/30/2006 5:02:35 AM | I'm hearing a lot of good excuses, but honestly excuses is all they are. Yes, it's a huge turn off to date someone who is still living at home. There are way too many people here, especially men past the age of 26 still living at home! Get a freakin life already, lol.
If you find that you can't find a full-time job that pays for your xbox360 and games, cellphone, wardrobe, car payment, ipods, dvds, and allows you to save up enough money to buy a house.......join the freakin club!
Quit living like you make $50,000 a year rather than your actual $20k and ditch the crap! Rent the older dvds on 2 for tues, buy a junker that will die in a year, shop at discount and thrift stores for clothes, and look for deals on all those crappy electronics and games on ebay or something.
It's not fair to yourself or your parents to have to support you when you live beyond your means. There, I'm done ranting, lol. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/30/2006 5:42:59 AM | Hello Sweetguy,
I dont see anything wrong with living with your parents.
I'm 55 and i still live with my mom,she needs me.
Shes 89 years old and suffers with arthritis in one of her hands.
I help with the cooking,cleaning,laundry and gardening in the spring
and summer.Without me shes helpless.
If anyone is going to judge me then its their loss not mine.
My mom would die without my support. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:07:44 PM | Hi OP,
In some cultures (i.e. European, South Asian) living at home until any age is widely accepted and considered normal. Then you have other cultures (i.e. North American) where it's generally considered taboo. There are pros and cons to both situations (as you are starting to see with the dating issue) and you have to decide for yourself which is better for you. Now I haven't read through all the pages in this thread, but from what I've read so far it seems that finances are the main thing holding you back from your goals. If this is the case, would it not be more prudent to get this area of your life worked out first and then focus on dating and finding a relationship? It seems to me that dating at this stage would affect your finances and possibly your focus on your current goals, which would further delay your plans to move out etc... Relationships are often strained because of financial issues, regardless of the amount of love present. It's great to have goals but if you let yourself get sidetracked then how do you expect to attain them?
Best wishes whatever you decide.
TJ | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:20:18 PM | This message is coming from someone who lives at home. That wasn't always the case though. I lived on my own for three years before I moved back home. Is taking care of your mom in her later years a turn off? I tend not to think so, but it seems that sometimes, when I meet a woman and we get to talking, the subject arises and, well, the mind closes as soon as she hears I live at home.
I'm a very motivated, goal oriented person who has achieved many goals and will continue to do so. I'm just doing it while taking care of my mom. The way I see it, my family is my priority and to all those ladies who "value" an independent man, just some advice: if you like a guy, take the time to get to know him before you label him a "deadbeat" just because he lives at home. You might be missing out on the best thing that ever happened to you. And if you decide to pass it up, well, all I can say is it's your loss. I'm not goin to put my mom in an old age home just to impress a woman.
I'd like to know what you guys think about it. | |
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