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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 11/30/2008 3:15:40 AM | | As a 33 y/o woman, I can not honestly say that I would be interested in dating someone who still lives at home with his parents. Independency is a major factor to me. I want a man who has his own everything. Not that there couldn't be co-dependency in our relationship. Where would you take your date if you wanted to share an intimate evening with her and she wasn't quite comfortable taking you back to her place? Surely not to your folks' house. Would you be sneaking around to get her in after hours? Just doesn't sound like a place where I would want to be. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:08:44 PM | As a 33 y/o woman, I can not honestly say that I would be interested in dating someone who still lives at home with his parents. Independency is a major factor to me. I want a man who has his own everything. Not that there couldn't be co-dependency in our relationship. Where would you take your date if you wanted to share an intimate evening with her and she wasn't quite comfortable taking you back to her place? Surely not to your folks' house. Would you be sneaking around to get her in after hours? Just doesn't sound like a place where I would want to be.
Then why can they not rent a room at a motel or something there is plenty of ideas if you just think about it. Good luck in a relationship since you seem to care more about a guys wealth then who he is. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:27:43 PM | Then why can they not rent a room at a motel or something there is plenty of ideas if you just think about it. Good luck in a relationship since you seem to care more about a guys wealth then who he is.
are you serious? having your own place means being wealthy? Um..no, it really doesn't. Plenty of people in their 20's and 30's have their own place and they aren't wealthy by society's standards, myself included. Pretty much anyone can have their own place if they have even just a remotely decent job and know how to set priorities in life. It's all about being independant, and that's a really attractive trait in a person. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:42:22 PM | | Ok I never mentioned wealth in my post. Just because one has a house, apartment or whatever doesn't mean that they are wealthy by any means. I never said that they couldn't rent a room, but at some point, that gets old. Take that money that you are spending renting a room and rent a house. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 11/30/2008 5:11:39 PM | Well I would hope that they would really base it off of the situation. I just turned 38 and I am at my parents home. But for a much different reason that most. My fathers health was very bad at the first of the year. My mother just could not take care of him by herself any longer. She asked me to come back and live with them to help them out. If my home would have been larger then they could have moved in with me, but since there home was larger I moved in there. My father since passed about a month ago, Oct 22nd. I will stay here until the first of the year to make sure my mother is ok and can handle things on her own. My dad handled everything until I moved in and took over for him.
So I would hope that some one look at that differently than someone who just muches off their parents. But honestly I do not put my living situation in my profile because so many people do judge before asking. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:29:36 PM | are you serious? having your own place means being wealthy? Um..no, it really doesn't. Plenty of people in their 20's and 30's have their own place and they aren't wealthy by society's standards, myself included. Pretty much anyone can have their own place if they have even just a remotely decent job and know how to set priorities in life. It's all about being independant, and that's a really attractive trait in a person.
But like I have said a hundred times just because you live with you parents does not mean you are not independent. Yes there are some people who live with there parents and do not work and are lazy but a lot of people live with there parents who pay rent who have a job and do independent things. You are just making a braod statement here that is not entirely true. Not everyone can have there own place. most places it costs anywhere from 400-1200 or more to rent and even with roomates if someone is not making enough money that is to much. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:31:18 PM | Ok I never mentioned wealth in my post. Just because one has a house, apartment or whatever doesn't mean that they are wealthy by any means. I never said that they couldn't rent a room, but at some point, that gets old. Take that money that you are spending renting a room and rent a house.
If it was that easy I am sure a lot of people would but it is a lot more complicated then that. People have a lot of reasons to move home, job loss, divorce, death to spouse so you have to look at each situation. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 8:08:07 AM | I would not want to date somebody who still lives with his mom if it was not an issue of an ailing parent. That would probably be my one exception. But living with your parents so things are easier for you? Well, I probably shouldn't comment. I started a post not too long ago about how do you get adult children to leave when they won't.  | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 8:56:18 AM |
If it was that easy I am sure a lot of people would but it is a lot more complicated then that. People have a lot of reasons to move home, job loss, divorce, death to spouse so you have to look at each situation.
This is very true, each situation is unique so I wouldn't necessarily discount someone automatically because they are living with their parents....in certain circumstances, that is. 
Eventually though, if a relationship is to progress, then private time is very important between couples. If someone is only living temporarily with their folks (barring an ailing relative, I mean) then that's fine. I've known several people though who swear "it's only temporary" and then two years later, they are still in the same situation. Two years to me isn't temporary.
At my age, I would probably take a pass though overall, if I were even looking I mean. (Again, barring taking care of an elderly or ailing parent). Why would I want to feel like a man was sneaking me into his bedroom in his parents' house, or not being able to get any privacy? Also, it would probably reflect that we are most likely at different stages of our lives. Yes, it DOES have to do with gaining independance, and learning about how the real world works. Paying for room and board in your parents' house is very different than trying to maintain your own household and expenses, no matter how "independent" you think you still are.
About the "some rents cost anywhere from $400 and up" comment from DarkKnight though...again, it's all about being at a similar place in life. Someone who found $400 to be too expensive for a place to live, is not at a similar stage in life to me, I hate to say it. Also, DarkKnight...you might find it's not just living with parents that can be detrimental to your dating life...your profile doesn't list any profession, and you "prefer not to say" if you have any children or not. A lot of people just *might* garner from that (whether correctly or incorrectly) that you're unemployed, living with mommy and daddy, and already have a child but can't be honest about it. I'm just saying.  | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 9:17:38 AM | If someone is living with parents, and they can come and go as they please, as well as have a private space for entertaining, Im not against it.
However, myself being a homeowner and a Mom to a 16 year old my place is off limits some nights...as my son is home most nights. It would be nice to date someone where we could at least take turns having one another over.
If the fellow doesnt have privacy living with parents, I dont persue anything with them. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 12:19:42 PM | At my age, I would probably take a pass though overall, if I were even looking I mean. (Again, barring taking care of an elderly or ailing parent). Why would I want to feel like a man was sneaking me into his bedroom in his parents' house, or not being able to get any privacy? Also, it would probably reflect that we are most likely at different stages of our lives. Yes, it DOES have to do with gaining independance, and learning about how the real world works. Paying for room and board in your parents' house is very different than trying to maintain your own household and expenses, no matter how "independent" you think you still are.
No it is not you are still giving money away for rent. The ignorance and narrow mindness on this board is amazing. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 12:37:28 PM |
No it is not you are still giving money away for rent.
Not if you are a homeowner paying your own mortgage, dear. Living alone doesn't necessarily entail renting, now does it. That would be a whole other thread though, renting vs home ownership.
The ignorance and narrow mindness on this board is amazing.
You will forgive my saying but, in your own tunnel-visioned opinion, you've kind of shown exactly what I meant about people possibly being at different stages of life. You assumed that I meant living alone equated to renting a place, simply because that is what first popped into your head. For someone my age, that has an even higher chance of meaning someone with a mortgage. Whereas most posters so far do not equate living with your parents to being independent in the way you seem to believe it is.
Either way though...paying for room and board is still a LOT different than also paying for utilities, groceries, home repairs, house insurance, etcetc. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 1:07:41 PM | Either way though...paying for room and board is still a LOT different than also paying for utilities, groceries, home repairs, house insurance, etcetc.
I would say you are more independent living on your own but you can be independent living with your parents. Just because you live with you parents does not mean you are not ready to one day move out and live on your own. People need to open there mind up and stop just believing stereotypes | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 1:13:16 PM | [[People need to open there mind up and stop just believing stereotypes]]
I really don't beleive anybody is stereotyping here. It is a preference. If I had a choice of two dates, would I choose the one who is living with mom and dad or one who is living on his own?
I'm older now so I hope it is a non-issue for me. But, like I stated, I also have an adult son staying here until he "gets on his feet." It's time to move on. Your parents deserve it too. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 1:56:02 PM | #1 - you should be paying rent! Why is it that most people (kids) don't pay rent these days? My parents made me pay rent - it helped me get used to it. When I was in school, I didn't pay rent.
Living with your parents will be a deterrent to dating some women. I won't lie, but when I was your age, a man who had his own place was very attractive since I already had my own place too.
I was only 23 when I moved out, 26 is not that far off from that.
Basically, I have always looked for a mate who is at a similar place in his life as me. When I was 18, I dated a guy who worked at a gas station; when I was 25, I dated a guy who had a good job with a company where he could grow and he was still taking courses etc., etc.
One must also take into consideration where you live. I lived in Montreal and rent is really cheap there so moving out young was alot easier. However, in Ottawa, rent is very expensive and not many young people are out on their own. So if you are in a town similar to Ottawa, you will find more young women still living at home or just moved out.
Not everyone will think like this though. It may just limit your choices.
And no, one is NOT more independant living with their parents. Some days I wish I could return back home where Mom made supper all the time and I didn't have a whole house to clean - just my room :) Living with someone else (roomate or parents) will always limit your independance in some way. I can't and won't have people over at the drop of a hat without letting them know etc. There are many different types of independance. This does not apply to those folks who are living with M&D because they are ill. I'm sure many of those people are handling alot.
I wonder how much darkknight pays in rent and expenses.......and whether he has actually ever had his own place (no parents, no roommates)......experience often is the best teacher of all. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/1/2008 2:49:37 PM | | it shouldnt be a big deal if you stil live at home, myself and boyfriend still live at home with our parents but it doesnt stop us spending time together ona regular basis, if u find someone you like and you both get on etc.... that is all that should matter not where you live, what job you do or anything, aslong as you both make eachother happy and get to spend time with eachother everything shoudl be cool, anyone that wont date someone who lives at home i think has got their priorities totally wrong jut cause you live at home does not mean you cant look after self. | |
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Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 171 | |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/2/2008 3:11:37 AM | Wow Darknight... this thread appears to have hit home with you... and your mommy and daddy... 
People need to open there mind up and stop just believing stereotypes Why?
Would you open your mind to dating someone that you aren't interested in? Someone that you feel is less than attractive, someone whose core values are different than yours...
There are a plethora of reasons to not want to date someone that lives with their parents... hell, I know that in my early 20's, I'd have laughed if you asked me for a date... today I cringe when some guy that lives with mommy and daddy ask me to go for coffee or something...
It simply is not attractive to me... and as I still live in a world that allows me the freedom to choose, I'll stand by my opinion as firmly as you stand by yours...
Btw... does mommy know you're on a dating site?  | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:39:58 PM | Why?
Would you open your mind to dating someone that you aren't interested in? Someone that you feel is less than attractive, someone whose core values are different than yours...
There are a plethora of reasons to not want to date someone that lives with their parents... hell, I know that in my early 20's, I'd have laughed if you asked me for a date... today I cringe when some guy that lives with mommy and daddy ask me to go for coffee or something...
It simply is not attractive to me... and as I still live in a world that allows me the freedom to choose, I'll stand by my opinion as firmly as you stand by yours...
Btw... does mommy know you're on a dating site?
Because it is a sterotype that is not all true. The reason you do not want to date these people is because you feel you are better then these people. | |
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psssst
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Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 173 | |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/3/2008 2:52:14 PM |
Because it is a sterotype that is not all true. The reason you do not want to date these people is because you feel you are better then these people. Actually it is true.
I value independence. I value someone working hard and paying their own way in the world as opposed to skating through life on another's coat-tails. I value hard work and responsibility... the kind of responsibility which is shown when a person maintains their own residence.
I do not value someone that makes excuses for sliding through life with a lackluster attitude and then points the finger at others saying I place myself above them...
I don't place me above anyone else... simply in a different category. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:13:51 AM | Actually it is true.
I value independence. I value someone working hard and paying their own way in the world as opposed to skating through life on another's coat-tails. I value hard work and responsibility... the kind of responsibility which is shown when a person maintains their own residence.
No it is not. I am an example of this I live at home but I pay my parents rent, I pay my car insurance, I pay for any gas I use. It has nothing to do with riding some one coat tails it has to do with moving out is not possible. | |
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| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:28:16 AM | I just don't get it.
Mother of three with piss ant jobs and I managed to live on my own.
College kids struggling from pay check to pay check,...still on their own (some with parents that would have them home and or with money), but these kids get it done.
I think this is a pure case of cake and eat it too, but hey the parents are greatly to blame in this situation as well.
If there is a will there is always a way.
Roommates for example, easiest way to get the ball rolling.
YES a male still living at home at age 26 is a HUGE TURN OFF. | |
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