| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/20/2008 10:12:06 AM | ^^^I don't see anything wrong with that - at least you are not pretending to be someone you are not.
I don't see anything wrong with people living at home, it's when they try to say they are independant (while at home) when their parents are still doing things for them that bothers me.
There are people that are taking care of their parents and doing everything at home - that's different. But for most of us, when we lived at home, mom cooked our meals, we didn't pay a full rent etc. - it was NOT independant. Independance in that area happens when you are doing everything yourself. The argument never was (for me) about whether someone would or would not be independant once out on their own. Some people don't read either it seems.
I work with alot of Moms and most of them are not or did not charge their kids rent. The youth of today DO have it easier than we did. Most of the Moms admit that THEY paid rent, but they don't charge their kids rent. I think this stems from the "working mom" syndrome since these Moms had stay at home Moms. The guilt about this is still around and this won't change for a couple more decades. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/20/2008 6:44:32 PM | | I love this question because it is alike to "would you rather me live in an apartment the government pays for?" I love welfare.... I'm actually not on welfare. I still live at home and although I have had time out of the nest, being Manpowers top temp worker has not afforded me the cash to stem out on my own and alone. I want to go back to school, and drive my own car without being so far in debt...selling crack could get me this money!!! Alas, I can't sell crack now can I?? hahaha, I make and keep my cash through the work I do and my family is incredible to get along with! So, why leave a good thing to be without a solid foundation? So many people look down on me, but they have large debt, or are dependant on welfare, and so how is that to move up from? I have lived with friends and their zoo, as fun as that was, midnight shift (which I usually work) was a different type of hell, and thats when I realized that people could stay awake for 42 hours (mostly) without drugs but they lose it on someone as if they were hopped up on something nasty or a terrible withdrawl. Family will respect you more than friends, my family does and has and always will. Living at home, should not be a problem, sure we all want to leave, I do, when my job stops being involved with the auto industry haha. I'd say if anyone has a problem, they can share their welly check with me!! hahahaha!! seriously now, it shouldn't matter unless the person is able to leave but is attached at the umbilical cord still, you know, but that would be more of a problem than just living at home! | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/20/2008 6:54:27 PM | There is living in your parents home and then there is living off of your parents. There is a very big difference. I could care less if someone was living in their parents house ,contributing to the household and paying their share. Now living off of your parents , that I would not be interested in.
It's a shame how there is no longer a sense of family and it's importance anymore. This moving out on your own is a newfangled idea. Not so long ago families lived together , married and still lived in the same home and had children there. It was normal , but now this is considered shameful. What a weird shift. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/20/2008 11:06:13 PM | | No, it's not a turnoff if you are 26 years old and still living with your parents with a mindset of trying to become financially independent. Think about it, from the time you were 18 to about a year ago you lived through the most overpriced overinflated housing market that I have ever learned about. Now the economy is collapsing. Don't be too hard on yourself about the situation. You'll find your financial footing eventually, in the meantime look for a woman who realistically understands your economic situation. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/20/2008 11:34:31 PM | I say in most cases yes its a turnoff, because the majority of people who live at home with mommy and daddy are not independent enough to be on their own, probably the parents fault for not teaching them how to be independent.
Unless the person is actually paying rent, parts of the parents utilities bills, property tax, mortgage, cooks, cleans and does their own laundry is one thing, sponging off your parents because you cant find a job ( which is bull sh1t, in this day and age) sorry that excuse doesn't fly.
I have a associate who lives with his parents but he's on title with his parents, and the parents and him get along quite well, they are independent but have a symbiotic relationship, they split the expenses in half. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/20/2008 11:45:35 PM | I live at home. I lived on my own for a few years, got sick, moved home. Then I was like...why the hell am I paying for an apartment and a crappy roommate when I can live here and save up my money?
I still pay my own bills here, groceries and all that great junk, but saving the rent money is well-worth it.
That said...I'm moving out next summer. lol. (I'm so far off-topic, my bad)
Is it a turn off? I think it depends on the situation. Its cool that you'd be upfront about the whole thing with someone. And, its better to realize you cannot afford to live on your own, than move out, and get kicked out of an apartment when you can't afford it. | |
|
| |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:16:02 AM | There are people that are taking care of their parents and doing everything at home - that's different. But for most of us, when we lived at home, mom cooked our meals, we didn't pay a full rent etc. - it was NOT independant. Independance in that area happens when you are doing everything yourself. The argument never was (for me) about whether someone would or would not be independant once out on their own. Some people don't read either it seems.
That is true but living with roommate is not fully independent either. Not if you roommate does laundry, cooks,and pays some of the rent. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:32:03 PM | Given the state of the economy now days I can totally understand if someone still lives with their parents. I guess it depends on the circumstance. I did live with my folks for a while after graduating school while i looked for a job. However I found it to be quite the adjustment. Its hard to deal with parents after you have been living on your own.
I ended up going back to school part time and moved from home and since then I have never looked back. It is hard living on your own with no real job. I worked 5 different jobs at all kinds of crazy hours in order to survive, but you do what you have to do.
Anyhow after a certain age it is a turnoff of someone still lives at home, even if they do pay their own bills and rent, have a good job and savings. I have managed to live on my own on very little income and I have learned so much over the years.
Eventually everybody has to leave the nest. I would much rather date someone who has already left the nest. My ex was living with his folks when we first met. Several months later he bought his own condo and moved in. I spent a lot of time there but he did not know how to do anything as he had never lived on his own before. I had to do everything for him because he didnt know how. This lead to a lot of resentment and eventually to our break up as I felt like I was his mother, not his girlfriend.
I know this a bit of a tangent but I just wanted to put in my two cents.
Merry Christmas all!!!
Pika | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/21/2008 8:00:34 PM |
Good job lets make assumptions about every man who lives at home. Why do people make dumb statements like this?
Why? Because it is true.
I bet your mom does your laundry, cooks you meals, and cleans up after you.
Like the other poster talking about how they got a condo together and she had to show him everything.
Years ago I dated someone who lived at home and it was obvious his parents did everything for him. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/21/2008 8:42:39 PM | | I think it depends on the woman. For example, a woman looking to have children soon (such as a 26 yr old woman) would definately prefer a man that was on his own. It shows that you are mature and better able to provide for a family. It also depends on your circumstances. Are you still in school? If I was not looking for children in the immediate future and you were still in school trying to get your degree that you need in order to get the full time job, then I might be willing to give you a chance. I don't mind the momma's boy part of the equation (a previous post mentioned). those are the men that know how to treat a woman nice. Men that don't love there mothers are strictly a no-no for me. I would recommend on getting the full time employment first. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/21/2008 9:08:34 PM | Why? Because it is true.
I bet your mom does your laundry, cooks you meals, and cleans up after you.
Like the other poster talking about how they got a condo together and she had to show him everything.
Years ago I dated someone who lived at home and it was obvious his parents did everything for him.
No she doesn't but you would not know that because you insist on making dumb assumptions about me without knowing me. Just because someone you know is like that does not mean everyone is. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/22/2008 2:43:16 AM | | apparently even at my age (18) living at home is a turn off, i make a good wage but because of the economic situation in canada i don't want to chance moving out then moving right back in again when i can't find job that pays good enough. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/23/2008 2:23:16 PM | Eventually everybody has to leave the nest. I would much rather date someone who has already left the nest. My ex was living with his folks when we first met. Several months later he bought his own condo and moved in. I spent a lot of time there but he did not know how to do anything as he had never lived on his own before. I had to do everything for him because he didnt know how. This lead to a lot of resentment and eventually to our break up as I felt like I was his mother, not his girlfriend.
No one has to leave home. That is just your opinion that everyone does not a fact. People should do what is best for themselves | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 12/23/2008 4:06:43 PM | PlentyOfFun, thank you for that laugh!
Ages ago, I dated a guy who had his first apartment when he was 27 or 28. I had to show him how to do laundry, because the MAID always did it at his parents' house!
He even watched me wash the dishes, by hand! I mean, come on! How hard is it to wash dishes?
I'll never forget this exchange. I was going to spend the weekend. When I got there, he said, "We have laundry to do."
I said, "What do you mean - WE? It's your laundry; I didn't drive all the way here to do housework!"
Even when he got married (to someone else), he wanted her to do the laundry. Not even split the chore!  | |
|
| |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:25:36 PM | I don't see a problem with it. I think too many people stay narrow minded...they assume they know why this person is at home and fail to acknowledge the bigger picture.
Maybe this person had a life set out previously to them livign back at home that just took a dive for the worse ( in that case great parents to take them back in = great person)
Maybe this person is a dedicated person with a huge debt and is in need of assistance to get out of it without declaring bankruptcy (another case of caring parents that will wear off on the wise mind)
All in all, we can't and never should judge someone on a factor such as that and yet many people do. It's a shame because I don't think it's a proper basis to judge anyone in the first place. It rarely means little of someone's character it reveals more about their honesty in the long run and comfort with you.
I do not judge ever on somebody's lifestyle choices, it's not only hypocritical and therefore totally able to be negated. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 3/4/2009 6:47:27 PM | | Just concentrate on a career. Women will always be here. They haven't gone anywhere and they won't ever go anywhere so don't worry yourself about getting a woman. This is a time for you t o be as selfish as you want to be so enjoy it while you can because once you get a woman you'll miss the days of being single. | |
|
Szops
|
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 219 | |
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:23:43 AM | | I do not think it is a big deal really. Most people are starting to stay at home longer these days anyways because of the economy. Personally for myself I have chosen to stay at home and I am almost 23. I am done college and all but living in Edmonton, Alberta, Cananda you will not survive unless you make a lot of money. Rent is crazy and its hard enought to find a job coming out of college. | |
|
| Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:24:26 AM | WOW!!!! I forgot this thread even existed and that I created it 3 years ago!!! I'm even more surprised at all the replies, but I do thank each and every one of you for posting as it is good to see such a broad range of peoples opinions/feelings on the matter.
Now I'm sure you're probably wondering if since I made the original post a few years ago if I have moved out or continue to still live with parents. The answer is that I'm no longer living with my parents and I'm renting a house with a roommate. I do have a full time job now that is decent and has good benefits and it is great to be out on my own. I'm even looking to get another car now since my current one is on the fritz. Unfortunately, I'm still not in the dating arena but it is nice to say at least that when I do try to get to know someone that I do have a place of my own and not living with parents. I do really have to thank one of my best friends for being persistent and letting me know the value of being out on your own and independent. Now I just need to find a good singles group around where I live instead of always falling for the women that are always taken! | |
|
Home
login 
